Lauren looked pale. “Don’t say that, Kat. I was cloned you know. It wasn’t much fun.”
“Sorry, hon.” Kat patted her knee. “I forgot all about that. But didn’t you say they were all—what did you call them—seed clones? Temporary?”
“All but one.” Lauren shivered. “One of them was exactly like me. She even had my memories.” She shook her head. “I have nightmares about that sometimes—wondering what became of her. I just can’t imagine what it must have been like, being left behind in that awful place but feeling like she belonged back here. She must hate me just for being me.”
“That’s so creepy.” Sophie made a face. “Let’s talk about something else.”
“Like what?” Liv asked. “You’ve already told us every single detail of Nadiah’s adventure on First World.” She sighed. “It’s so sad she can’t ever leave again.”
“No, it’s Rast who can never leave,” Sophie corrected. “Not unless he wants to lose his wings.”
“I know something you didn’t tell us,” Kat said. “What ever happened to Y’dex?”
“She told us that,” Liv said. “He fell off the ledge when Rast jumped after Nadiah, right? So he must have gone kersplat all over the ground.” She put a hand to her mouth. “Oh God, how disgusting. I think just made myself sick.”
“Actually, he didn’t splatter all over the ground,” Sophie said. “We never saw him hit bottom. Of course, everybody was watching Rast and Nadiah instead and it was awhile before we thought to look.”
“So what happened to him?” Lauren asked. “Did you ever find the body?”
Sophie shook her head. “Huh-uh. But Sylvan saw one of those huge black hunting birds they have on First World flying away with something in its beak. So it’s possible…”
“That Y’dex ended up as bird chow,” Olivia said. “Yuck, now I really am going to be sick.”
“Serves him right,” Kat said, frowning. “Going all the way to First World to try and break Rast and Nadiah up after he lost the challenge fair and square. How did he even get there?”
“We don’t know,” Sophie admitted. “He said something about the Kindred not being the only ones who had interstellar travel abilities or something like that.” She frowned. “But according to Sylvan, it takes enormous amounts of power and really complicated technology to fold space—I don’t see how he could have done it and followed Nadiah from Tranq Prime all the way to First World in one of those little ships.”
“He could have used wormholes,” Lauren pointed out. “Xairn did when he took me to get our DNA altered.”
“Maybe so,” Sophie said thoughtfully. “I guess that would make sense. But then why would he brag about his ‘interstellar abilities?’”
Kat snorted. “Honey, why does any man brag? He was probably trying to impress Nadiah. Not that she’d ever go back to him—the slime.”
“Well, however he did it, I guess his secret died with him,” Lauren said.
Sophie nodded. “I guess so. There’s no way anyone could have survived that fall.” She looked at Liv. “And now you have to fill me in on what’s been going on in the Mother Ship. All I’ve heard about so far are you and Lauren’s weird pregnancy cravings. There must be something else going on.”
“There is,” Liv said, trying to sit up. Her belly was getting bigger by the day. “Ugh, in another two months I won’t be able to move, I swear,” she panted.
“What’s the news, oh rotund one?” Kat asked, giving her a hand.
“You’re going to pay for that remark once you finally do get preggers with twins,” Liv snapped. “But anyway, Elise Darden is awake and she and Merrick are really hitting it off.”
“Oooh.” Sophie smiled. “That’s wonderful! But I thought he wasn’t supposed to be able to form bonds because he’s a hybrid?”
“I thought so too,” Olivia said. “But something is definitely going on between them. He’ll hardly leave her side for a second—he even watches her while she sleeps. And it’s not a one way street, either—the minute she wakes up, she looks for him. If he’s not there—which is rare—she gets really upset. And here’s the thing—he knows she’s upset, even if he’s halfway across the ship. He can feel it and he comes running.”
Kat frowned. “But that’s not possible without some kind of a bond. Are you sure they’re haven’t done the bonding sex hanky-panky in her hospital bed when you weren’t looking?”
“Positive,” Liv said, frowning. “You know all the med station rooms are monitored. The point is—this type of connection between them shouldn’t be possible.”
“What does Sylvan say about it?” Sophie asked.
Liv shook her head. “Well I just told him last night when you guys came in. He seemed concerned but he said he’d have to do more research before he could address it.”
“So that’s why he was reading that huge long medical paper about the ‘extended effects of stasis sickness’ into the wee hours last night,” Sophie exclaimed. “I could hardly get him to come to bed. I tell you, if we hadn’t had so much fun on the trip home, I would have been really upset.” She pointed a finger at Olivia. “Luckily for you, womb mate, I was too tired to care.”
Liv held up her hands in a “don’t shoot” gesture. “Hey, just doing my job.” She frowned. “I’m just worried about Elise. Merrick can take care of himself but she’s been through so much.”
“We all know how she feels,” Lauren said quietly. “You tell her if she needs someone to talk to about what she went through, we’re here for her.”
“That’s sweet, cuz.” Liv smiled and reached across Kat to pat Lauren’s hand. “I’ll let her know. But to be honest, I think she just wants to forget.” She shivered. “Can’t say that I blame her.”
Lauren nodded. “Well, if she wants to talk, my door’s open.”
“I’ll let her know before she goes back down to Earth,” Olivia promised. “She’s healing remarkable quickly. I don’t know if it has to do with Merrick or not but she’s really bouncing back from her ordeal very well.”
“Maybe she just has a good nurse.” Sophie leaned forward and gave her twin a quick hug. “The best.”
“Aww…” Liv hugged her back. “You really mean that, womb-mate?”
“Of course I do.” Sophie smiled.
“Then…do you think you could make me a sandwich? Pretty please?” Liv begged. “The pickled seaweed is in the fridge and the ketchup’s on the counter.”
“And on that note, I’m leaving,” Lauren said.
“Why?” Kat grinned at her. “You need to get home and whip something up for dinner?”
Instead of blushing and laughing, Lauren looked troubled. “Very funny, Kat. But you can stop teasing—there’s no whipping or spanking or handcuffing going on at my place at the moment.”
“Oh no—that’s bad,” Liv exclaimed. “Is everything all right, Lauren?”
Lauren sighed. “Well yes, and no. I’m super excited and happy to be pregnant but Xairn seems…conflicted. And ever since we got the pink flower, he won’t touch me. I think he’s afraid he’ll hurt the baby.”
“What?” Kat shook her head. “Did you tell him she’s probably only the size of a lima bean right now?”
“Yeah, send him over to Sylvan if you want,” Sophie said. “I’m sure he can explain.”
“It’s not just that. It’s…” Lauren shook her head. “I’m not sure what it is. But I’m hoping it will all work itself out pretty soon.”
“Well, you know you can talk to us anytime, right cuz?” Liv asked. “In fact…come here.” She reached across Kat to give her cousin a hug.
“Help!” Kat exclaimed. “I’m being squished! Attack of the pregnant ladies.”
“The very hormonal pregnant ladies,” Lauren said, sitting back and sniffing. “Why does being pregnant make you so emotional? I haven’t cried so much since I was a teenager.”
“Hormones—they make you do crazy things.” Liv swiped at her eyes. “Like right now, I’m
even willing to forgo my seaweed sandwich if you want to stay.”
Lauren sighed. “No, I really have to go. Xairn will be back soon and I need to do a new batch of cupcakes while I still have the energy.” She looked at Kat and Sophie. “Either of you non pregnant ladies want to be my sous chef? I could use an assistant.”
“I’ll come,” Sophie volunteered. “Sylvan won’t be back to our suite until late.” She frowned. “He’s talking to the Council about something Rast told him.”
“What?” Liv asked.
Sophie shook her head, feeling troubled. “He didn’t say exactly. Only that there’s some kind of threat to First World. It sounded pretty scary.”
Kat frowned. “Well, I’m sure the Council will know what to do. I guess it’s a good thing Rast turned up when he did.”
“The Goddess works in mysterious ways,” Sophie said seriously. “I just wonder what she’s got up her sleeve for us next.”
“Who knows,” Olivia said. “But whatever it is, you can be sure it won’t be boring. Come on Kat, since Sophie is helping Lauren you’re on sandwich duty.”
Kat groaned. “Again? All right but someday you’ll pay for making me handle that nasty pickled seaweed.”
“I promise I will,” Liv said sweetly. “Just as soon as you’ve got your own two buns in the oven, Mrs. Twin Kindred.”
They all laughed and got up to go. But as Sophie hugged everyone again and followed Lauren out the door, she sent up a silent prayer for Rast and Nadiah that everything would be all right. Though they were light years away from First World, she couldn’t help feeling like whatever was happening there might spill over into their part of the universe as well.
“Keep us safe, Goddess,” she whispered. “Keep us safe and our children too.” Secretly, she stroked her flat belly where even now a seed might be sprouting. She promised herself she would ask Sylvan to do a pregnancy test soon. Very soon.
Chapter Thirty-eight
Merrick watched over Elise as she slept. She was curled on her side in the healing cot, her cloud of black hair obscuring her face. For a moment she was restless, twisting in her sleep and moaning.
Bad dream, Merrick thought and it was no wonder. She’d packed away what had been done to her by the AllFather as quickly as possible. He’d watched her do it and he knew there was no way she’d been able to process her pain before she shoved it to the back of her mind and locked it up. It worried him but at the same time he understood. Some things didn’t bear remembering—some pains went too deep. Toxic memories could incapacitate you if you let them and Elise had simply made the choice not to let that happen.
We’re a lot alike, he thought. No one would think so to look at them but it was true—despite their very opposite looking exteriors, inside they were both survivors.
Elise moaned again, something that sounded like a plea. Reaching down, Merrick pushed the cloud of hair away from her face and stroked her soft cheek. She quieted at once and cuddled against his hand, murmuring something that might have been his name.
Merrick felt a strange stirring in the region of his heart. What was this feeling which had crept up on him so suddenly? Why did he want to touch her all the time? Why did he hate to leave her, even for a moment?
And what was he going to do when she left the Mother Ship and went back to her old life on Earth?
Don’t think about that, he told himself uneasily. Besides, all you’re feeling is a male’s natural protectiveness toward a female he has sworn to keep safe. It was a Kindred trait, one that apparently, not even his mixed heritage could breed out of him. He was going to have to get over it, and very soon too. Elise was healing remarkably fast—much faster than was normal for humans according to Olivia.
“She’ll be ready to leave in a day to so,” she’d told Merrick earlier. “Maybe even sooner. Do you want to escort her down to Earth?”
“I don’t know. Let me think about it.” He’d shifted uneasily from foot to foot. The thought of taking Elise back down to the small blue and white planet and just leaving her set off all kinds of alarm bells in his head. It was stupid and foolish but he couldn’t help feeling that she wouldn’t be safe there. That something might happen to her the minute he left her.
Don’t be a fucking idiot, he’d told himself. It’s her home planet—she’ll be fine. Better off, probably, once she sees the last of you. But no matter how much he lectured himself, the idea that he would never see her again tied his stomach in knots.
Olivia had left him to consider his decision hours ago but he’d been unable to do so. He just wanted to spend the time they had left watching over Elise, memorizing her delicate features, soothing her when a bad dream troubled her sleep, and hearing her soft voice when she called his name…
Listen to me, he thought, withdrawing his hand. He slumped heavily on the chair beside her cot, frowning. I sound like a fucking love-sick bride hunter—one of those pure blooded idiots pining for their one true love or some shit like that. That’s not me—I’m strong. I don’t need anyone.
Well maybe she needs you, whispered a little voice inside his head. Did you ever think of that?
Merrick pushed the thought away uneasily. Elise Darden had a very successful life and career down on Earth. From what he could gather, she was busy from morning until night working in the planet’s legal system—mostly on the behalf of children who had been wronged or abused in some way. There was no way she needed him—no way she had room for a hybrid giant who was scarred both inside and out in her busy life.
Elise turned over again, showing her lovely profile and Merrick sighed. It would be easier to leave her and go back to his own life if he didn’t feel any kind reciprocal affection from her. But he did. It was there in the way she looked at him, the way she said his name when she was awake. Also the way she kept touching him.
It seemed that every minute they were together Elise had to have a hand on his arm or her fingers entwined with his. Once or twice when her nightmares were especially bad, Merrick had scooped her up and held her close to his chest. That, he found, was best of all. Elise rubbed her cheek against him and nearly purred when he held her—like a feline begging for a caress. Merrick couldn’t deny he loved that, just as he couldn’t deny the way he felt when he held her close.
Complete. I feel complete. It was true. He felt complete and happy in a way he hadn’t been since he was a very young child and his mother hand held him in the same way. In fact, if he thought about it, that early time in his life was the last time he’d experienced any kind of prolonged physical intimacy with anyone. Back before the bad times started, he thought. Before my real father died.
Not that he had strictly paternal feelings for Elise Darden. To the contrary, every time he touched her, he got hard. Even the lightest brush of her hand would make his shaft thicken and the mating fist at its base throb with desire. There was a mixture of innocence and sensuality about her that made him crazy. It aroused a protective heat in him he couldn’t understand.
You don’t have to understand it, he told himself as she stirred again and her eyelids began to open. You just have to get over it. Look at her—all her bruises are healed and her wounds are nothing but barely visible scars. She’ll be leaving soon—maybe even today. It’s time to let her go.
So why did he feel sick at the thought of losing her?
Her eyelids fluttered again and then opened, showing her warm brown eyes fringed thickly with black lashes.
“Mmm. Hi,” she murmured, looking up at him. “Have you been watching me sleep?”
“Yes,” Merrick admitted hoarsely, unable to lie. “Just wanted to make sure you had good dreams.”
She frowned. “If I had bad ones I don’t remember them. You must have chased them all away.” She reached for his hand at the same time Merrick was reaching for hers and their fingers entwined automatically. Elise sighed contentedly. “That’s nice,” she murmured, squeezing his hand. “I don’t know why but it is.”
“Yeah.” He no
dded. “Yeah, it is. So…” He cleared his throat, not wanting to say what came next.
Elise seemed to catch on to his mood at once. “What is it?” She sat up in the cot, looking at him anxiously. “Is everything all right?”
“Better than all right,” Merrick said gruffly. “Olivia says you’re good to go home soon. Back down to Earth,” he added unnecessarily and then kicked himself. Don’t be a fucking idiot—of course she knows where she lives!
“Back to Earth, huh?” Elise gave him a weak smile. “Sounds like a science fiction movie or something.” She sighed. “In fact, my whole life sounds like science fiction lately.”
“You think so?” Merrick raised an eyebrow at her.