Rast followed her into the bookshelf lined room with its sober, overstuffed leather furniture. The study was where his father had always doled out punishment. Being summoned there to talk made him feel like a kid all over again—one who had transgressed one of the many house rules and was soon to be spanked or grounded.
“Where’s Dad?” he asked as his mother settled herself into a deep leather armchair with brass buttons and indicated that he should take the one across from it.
She sighed and steepled her fingers. “Well, that’s something I need to talk to you about. I kept meaning to call you and somehow I just never got around to it…”
Rast felt a quick spasm of panic. “Is he sick? Is he in the hospital or something?”
“No, I think he’s in the Bahamas. Or wherever it is old fools go to chase young women.” His mother shook her head. “Anyway, the point is, we’re getting a divorce.”
“What?” Rast couldn’t have been more shocked if she’d told him his father was down at the funeral home and she hadn’t gotten around to picking a casket yet. “You’re what?” he said again.
“Honestly, Adam, I don’t know why you’re so surprised. You know things haven’t been right between us for a long time. Not since…” His mother shook her head. “Not for a long time.”
“Not since Jessie was killed, you mean,” Rast said in a low voice. “Don’t make that face, Mom—you know it’s true.”
“That doesn’t make it a polite topic of conversation.” She frowned at him reprovingly. “So kindly stop talking about distasteful subjects and tell me what you came to say.”
Rast took a deep breath and tried to clear his head. “I…I’m leaving,
he said at last. “Not just the city or the country. I’m leaving Earth. I’m going in a Kindred ship thousands of light years away and I don’t know when I’ll be back. In fact, someone told me I might…might not be back. I’m sorry, Mom.”
For a moment she just sat there, staring at him. Then she seemed to shake herself and sighed. “Don’t be, Adam. You barely come around anyway—I’m sure we’ll manage without you.”
Her accusation was true but it still stung. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll miss you too,” he said dryly.
She nodded. “I’m certain you will.”
“Don’t you want to know why I’m going?” He felt like a little kid asking for approval, showing her the A plus on his math test or the Excellent on his book report and hoping for a positive response—any response. But as usual, his mother didn’t give him one.
“I’m sure you have your reasons.” She looked down at her steepled fingers and then up at him again. “Adam, if you’re serious about leaving I feel there’s something I ought to tell you. Something you should know.”
“What?” His heart was suddenly beating in his throat. “Is it about Jessie? Something you didn’t tell me when I was a kid?”
“Something like that but not what you’re thinking.” His mother gave him that reproving look again. The look that said he was discussing “distasteful” matters and should let them drop.
“What then?” Rast was genuinely bewildered.
She took a deep breath. “Adam, I don’t know how to tell you this so I’ll just say it. You were adopted.”
“What?” The word should have come out as a full throated roar but it was a bewildered whisper instead. “What?” he asked again, feeling sure he must have misheard.
“It’s true.” His mother nodded briskly. “We got you for Jessie. Your father and I were both so busy with our careers and she wanted something to play with—something to love. We offered her a cat or a dog but what she wanted most was a baby—a little brother.”
Rast shook his head in disbelief. “So you took her down to the local adoption agency and let her pick me out like a puppy in a pen?”
“Something like that.” His mother flicked an imaginary piece of lint off her skirt. “Of course she was in school so we didn’t want a baby in arms. I had already gone through the whole tiresome mess of potty training once with Jessie—I had no intention of doing it again.”
Rast’s lips felt too numb to speak but somehow he managed to force words out anyway. “How…how old was I when you got me?”
His mother shrugged. “Around three, we think—no one really knew for sure.”
“No one knew? What about my real mom—my biological mother, I mean?” Rast demanded. “She would have known.”
“I’m sure she would have if they could have found her,” his mother said tartly. “But no one could. You were picked up wandering naked in a field outside the city. The woman who brought you in said you were right by a huge sink hole and it was a wonder you hadn’t fallen into it and killed yourself.”
“So she just took me?” Rast demanded. “How could they be sure my real mother wasn’t there somewhere and too afraid to come forward?”
“To my understanding they did an exhaustive search of the area,” his mother said. “But even if one or both of your biological parents had been around, there was no way they could have stepped forward to claim you.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because of the scars.” She gestured at him. “You had two terrible scars running parallel to your shoulder blades. It was clear you’d been abused—anyone who dared to claim you would have been blamed for that. So no one did—claim you, I mean.”
“Except for Jessie,” Rast said in a harsh whisper. “She claimed me when she picked me out.”
“We tried to change her mind, your father and I.” His mother shook her head. “We told her you’d had a traumatic past and there were likely going to be behavior problems as a result. Problems she was going to have to deal with because we made it very clear that you were her responsibility, right from the start.”
“Jesus, Mom.” Rast didn’t know what to say—it was too much to take in at once.
“Well, nothing we could say would change her mind,” his mother continued, either oblivious or uncaring of his shock. “She just had to have you. Said she would heal you and she wanted to be your mom. We took you as a foster child at first—as a trial to see how well she’d do, you know.”
“Yeah?” Rast whispered numbly.
“Oh, yes.” His mother nodded. “But she proved to us she was responsible after all. That’s why we ended up adopting you.” She looked thoughtful. “And I must say, you were a remarkably well adapted child. Jessie used her own allowance to buy the special skin cream the doctor recommended and even the scars faded over time.” She cocked her head. “I dare say you never even noticed them yourself.”
Rast frowned. “My…my shoulders feel tight sometimes. And sometimes I get kind of an…an itching, tingling sensation along my shoulder blades but no, I never would have guess that someone…”
“Abused you,” his mother finished for him. “Yes, well, we assumed the scars were from some kind of belt. But as I said, they faded in time. And you made Jessie very happy.” She looked down at her hands. “I’ve always been grateful for that. That she had some happiness before…before she had to leave us.”
Rast was suddenly angry. “She didn’t leave, Mom—she was murdered. Murdered.”
“Adam, please.” His mother looked up at him, frowning. “That is not—”
“A polite topic of conversation, I know,” he finished for her savagely. “Nothing about Jessie is a polite topic of conversation. Do you know how much I missed her? How awful it was to know she was never coming home again and not even be able to talk about it?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Hell, this is the most you’ve mentioned her name in twenty years.”
“We all deal with grief in our own way, Adam.” His mother’s lips were a thin, tight line. “I did the best I could for you after Jessie left. I never really wanted the responsibility of raising another child. You were hers…the same way she was mine. After she was gone I didn’t…didn’t quite know what to do with you.”
“You sure as hell knew what not to do, though, didn’t you?” All tho
se lonely nights after Jessie died. Crying myself to sleep and waking up with bad dreams. Wishing Mom would come in like Jessie used to. His sister had always stroked his back or held him tight when the nightmares came. His mother simply opened the door briefly and told him to go back to sleep. There were no comforting touches, no soothing whispers, no love at all from that direction. Now he realized there never had been. There had only been Jessie and when she died, there was nothing left.
“What are you talking about, Adam?” Her prim, brittle voice brought him back from the past with a snap.
“Nothing.” Standing, he straightened his jacket and looked down at her. “I think we’re done talking now. Thanks for telling me about…about my past.”
“I thought it was about time you knew,” she said gravely. “Are you leaving now?”
He nodded. “I’m getting in a Kindred shuttle almost immediately.”
“Well then, I hope you have a pleasant flight.” She nodded at him, as though he was planning to fly across the state instead of thousands of lightyears away to a place he might never return from.
She really doesn’t care, Rast thought, despair filling him. Honestly doesn’t give a damn that she might never see me again. His throat felt tight.
“Mom…” Reaching down he took her hand and saw her flinch with surprise and perhaps distaste. He almost never touched her except to give her a stiff little hug and a dry peck on the cheek on Mother’s Day and her birthday. Carolyn Rast didn’t approve of overt displays of affection. Or any kind of affection, for that matter.
“Yes, Adam?” she said stiffly.
“Mom,” he said again. “Wasn’t there any room in your heart for anyone but Jessie? You really never…never wanted me?”
She looked uncomfortable. “We always tried to do right by you, Adam. We kept you and raised you even after Jessie was gone. Isn’t that enough?”
“No.” He dropped her hand abruptly. “No, it was never enough. But it doesn’t matter now—I’m going.”
She started to rise. “I’ll see you to the door.”
“Don’t bother.” He turned away. “I’ll see myself out.”
“Have a safe trip,” he heard her call as he left his childhood house for what he was sure would be the last time.
What does it matter if I’m safe or not? he thought, banging the gate savagely behind him. Why should it matter that I’m leaving when there’s no one on Earth who’ll give a damn if I ever come back or not?
Chapter Seven
“I wish you could come with us—both of you.” Nadiah hugged Sylvan and Sophia again, a wave of sorrow washing over her. She wasn’t even gone yet and she already missed them terribly. When would she see them again? The vast, echoing space of the docking bay seemed to be filled with foreboding.
“I wish we could too, Nadiah.” Sylvan hugged her back gently, enfolding her in his arms in that warm, comforting way she remembered from childhood. “But the rules of the blood challenge clearly state that only you and your champion are allowed to return to the grotto.”
“Stupid rules.” Sophia looked like she was going to cry. “I don’t understand the point of that at all.”
“It’s so the champion couldn’t bring an army of his kin to kill and ravage the intended’s family if he lost the challenge and take the girl anyway,” Sylvan explained. “Not that we would do something so savage but the law was made centuries ago in less civilized times.”
“Well then, we should come with them and stay in another grotto.” Sophia lifted her chin defiantly. “At least we’d still be on the same planet.”
“But where would we stay?” Sylvan asked. “We have no hotels or motels on Tranq Prime as you do on Earth. If you have no kin to stay with, you have no place to stay. And regrettably, my only kin are in Nadiah’s home grotto.”
Sophie sighed. “That’s right. I’d forgotten what an inhospitable place Tranq Prime is.”
“It’s all right, Sophia.” Nadiah hugged her again. “I’ll have Rast with me. Everything is going to be okay…I hope.” She bit her lip and cast a sidelong glance at the human detective who was standing by the small but surprisingly spacious ship they would be flying in. He had a brooding expression on his strong features, as though he was thinking about something that troubled him. “Um, he’s kind of quiet,” she murmured to Sylvan. “Do you think everything is all right?”
Sylvan shrugged, his broad shoulders rolling under his pale blue uniform shirt. “He’s been like that ever since we left Earth. Maybe taking leave of his parents troubled him.”
“Did you ask him about it?” Sophie wanted to know.
Sylvan shook his head. “I assumed that if he wished to talk about it, he would. He remained silent so I did as well.”
Sophia rolled her eyes. “Men. There’s obviously something upsetting him, Sylvan. You should have at least asked.”
“I’m sorry, Talana, but it’s too late now. They need to go.” He looked at Nadiah. “Come on, I have to have a few words to say to you and Detective Rast together.”
“Wait.” Sophie clutched at his arm. “Are you sure he knows how to pilot well enough to get Nadiah all the way to Tranq Prime with no accidents?” she asked in a low voice. “I mean, he hasn’t been flying that long at all.”
Sylvan patted her hand comfortingly. “I’m positive. Actually, it’s amazing how well Rast has taken to Kindred technology. He mastered flying faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. With a little more experience, I wouldn’t be surprised if he could give Baird a run for his money.”
“Really?” Sophie looked surprised. Baird was a master pilot—an instructor’s instructor.
“Really,” Sylvan assured her. “Now come, space is being folded as we speak and Nadiah and Rast can’t miss the window of opportunity.”
The three of them walked over to the sleek silver ship and Rast turned to meet them. “Ready to get going?”
“Not at all.” Nadiah took a deep breath. “But I don’t think we have any choice.”
He nodded shortly. “Good enough. Let’s go.”
“Wait.” Sylvan put up a hand. “I have something to tell you and something to give you before you go.”
“All right.” Rast nodded respectfully. “Shoot.”
Nadiah was certain that was just an expression—he didn’t actually mean that Sylvan should shoot him with his blaster. It seemed odd to her but her cousin had clearly heard it before because he nodded back before speaking.
“I just want to go over the route with you one more time.” He looked at Rast. “You know that because of where Tranq Prime is in its orbit, the fold won’t put you directly by it. You’ll be almost five standard days out but the autopilot is configured to take you straight to it. All you have to do is help with the landing.”
Rast nodded. “No problem. Can do.”
“I know you can,” Sylvan said gravely. “I was just telling Sophia and Nadiah what a good pilot you are.”
“I know.” Rast flashed them a sardonic grin. “I heard.”
Sylvan frowned. “You have hearing like a Kindred.”
“Reflexes too.” Rast cracked his knuckles. “Don’t worry. Nadiah’s in safe hands. I promise to protect her with my life—all of her.”
The emphasis he placed on the last words made Nadiah frown. Had Sylvan said something to him on their trip to Earth? If so, what? “We’ll be fine, Sylvan,” she told her cousin. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Sylvan brushed her cheek lightly with his knuckles.
“And what do you have to give us?” Rast was clearly impatient to be gone.
“This.” Raising a hypo-blast to the human’s muscular arm, Sylvan injected him with a hiss, before he could protest.
“Ouch!” Rast complained, rubbing his shoulder. “What the hell was that?”
“A hemo-booster with some Kindred compounds in it to strengthen your blood.” Sylvan put the hypo-blast away. “The lab isn’t done with the full analysis of your blood—that will take more th
an a week because it goes all the way down to the molecular and genetic level. But early analysis suggest that this booster should at least give you a fighting chance against Nadiah’s intended.”
“Thank, then.” Rast nodded. “I guess I can use all the help I can get.” He twitched uncomfortably. “But… are you sure you didn’t give me something I’m allergic to?”
Sylvan frowned. “Of course not—the hemo-booster was specifically formulated for your body—it should have nothing in it that your system would reject or react to. Why?”
“Because my back is itching like crazy.” Rast twitched again. “Right along my shoulder blades—ouch!”
“Let me have a look.” Sylvan made a motion with his hand. “Raise your shirt.”