LETTER IX
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.TUESDAY, AUG. 15.*
* Text error: should be Aug. 16.
Thank thee, Jack; most heartily I thank thee, for the sober conclusion ofthy last!--I have a good mind, for the sake of it, to forgive thy tillnow absolutely unpardonable extracts.
But dost think I will lose such an angel, such a forgiving angel, asthis?--By my soul, I will not!--To pray for mercy for such an ungratefulmiscreant!--how she wounds me, how she cuts me to the soul, by herexalted generosity!--But SHE must have mercy upon me first!--then willshe teach me a reliance for the sake of which her prayer for me will beanswered.
But hasten, hasten to me particulars of her health, of her employments,of her conversation.
I am sick only of love! Oh! that I could have called her mine!--it wouldthen have been worth while to be sick!--to have sent for her down to mefrom town; and to have had her, with healing in her dove-like wings,flying to my comfort; her duty and her choice to pray for me, and to bidme live for her sake!--O Jack! what an angel have I--
But I have not lost her!--I will not lose her! I am almost well; shouldbe quite well but for these prescribing rascals, who, to do credit totheir skill, will make the disease of importance.--And I will make hermine!--and be sick again, to entitle myself to her dutiful tenderness,and pious as well as personal concern!
God for ever bless her!--Hasten, hasten particulars of her!--I am sickof love!--such generous goodness!--By all that's great and good, I willnot lose her!--so tell her!--She says, that she could not pity me, if shethought of being mine! This, according to Miss Howe's transcriptions toCharlotte.--But bid her hate me, and have me: and my behaviour to hershall soon turn that hate to love! for, body and mind, I will be whollyher's.