LETTER LXV
MR. BRAND, TO MR. JOHN WALTONSAT. NIGHT, SEPT. 2.
DEAR MR. WALTON,
I am obliged to you for the very 'handsomely penned', (and 'elegantlywritten,') letter which you have sent me on purpose to do 'justice' tothe 'character' of the 'younger' Miss Harlowe; and yet I must tell youthat I had reason, 'before that came,' to 'think,' (and to 'know'indeed,) that we were 'all wrong.' And so I had employed the 'greatestpart' of this 'week,' in drawing up an 'apologetical letter' to my worthy'patron,' Mr. John Harlowe, in order to set all 'matters right' between'me and them,' and, ('as far as I could,') between 'them' and 'Miss.'So it required little more than 'connection' and 'transcribing,' when Ireceived 'your's'; and it will be with Mr. Harlowe aforesaid, 'to-morrowmorning'; and this, and the copy of that, will be with you on 'Mondaymorning.'
You cannot imagine how sorry I am that 'you' and Mrs. Walton, and Mrs.Barker, and 'I myself,' should have taken matters up so lightly,(judging, alas-a-day! by appearance and conjecture,) where 'character'and 'reputation' are concerned. Horace says truly,
'Et semel emissum volat irrevocabile verbum.'
That is, 'Words one spoken cannot be recalled.' But, Mr. Walton, theymay be 'contradicted' by 'other' words; and we may confess ourselvesguilty of a 'mistake,' and express our 'concern' for being 'mistaken';and resolve to make our 'mistake' a 'warning' to us for the 'future': andthis is all that 'can be done,' and what every 'worthy mind will do'; andwhat nobody can be 'readier to do' than 'we four undesigning offenders,'(as I see by 'your letter,' on 'your part,' and as you will see by the'enclosed copy,' on 'mine';) which, if it be received as I 'think itought,' (and as I 'believe it will,') must give me a 'speedy' opportunityto see you when I 'visit the lady'; to whom, (as you will see in it,) Iexpect to be sent up with the 'olive-branch.'
The matter in which we all 'erred,' must be owned to be 'very nice'; and(Mr. Belford's 'character considered') 'appearances' ran very strong'against the lady.' But all that this serveth to show is, 'that indoubtful matters, the wisest people may be mistaken'; for so saith the'Poet,'
'Fallitur in dubiis hominum solertia rebus.'
If you have an 'opportunity,' you may (as if 'from yourself,' and'unknown to me') show the enclosed to Mr. Belford, who (you tell me)'resenteth' the matter very heinously; but not to let him 'see' or 'hearread,' those words 'that relate to him,' in the paragraph at the 'bottomof the second page,' beginning, ['But yet I do insist upon it,] to the'end' of that paragraph; for one would not make one's self 'enemies,' youknow; and I have 'reason to think,' that this Mr. 'Belford' is as'passionate' and 'fierce' a man as Mr. Lovelace. What pity it is thelady could find no 'worthier a protector!' You may paste those linesover with 'blue' or 'black paper,' before he seeth it: and if heinsisteth upon taking a copy of my letter, (for he, or any body that'seeth it,' or 'heareth it read,' will, no doubt, be glad to have by themthe copy of a letter so full of the 'sentiments' of the 'noblest writers'of 'antiquity,' and 'so well adapted,' as I will be bold to say they are,to the 'point in hand'; I say, if he insisteth upon taking a copy,) lethim give you the 'strongest assurances' not to suffer it to be 'printed'on 'any account'; and I make the same request to you, that 'you' willnot; for if any thing be to be made of a 'man's works,' who, but the'author,' should have the 'advantage'? And if the 'Spectators,' the'Tatlers,' the 'Examiners,' the 'Guardians,' and other of our politepapers, make such a 'strutting' with a 'single verse,' or so by way of'motto,' in the 'front' of 'each day's' paper; and if other 'authors'pride themselves in 'finding out' and 'embellishing' the 'title-pages'of their 'books' with a 'verse' or 'adage' from the 'classical writers';what a figure would 'such a letter as the enclosed make,' so full fraughtwith 'admirable precepts,' and 'a-propos quotations,' from the 'bestauthority'?
I have been told that a 'certain noble Lord,' who once sat himself downto write a 'pamphlet' in behalf of a 'great minister,' after taking'infinite pains' to 'no purpose' to find a 'Latin motto,' gave commissionto a friend of 'his' to offer to 'any one,' who could help him to a'suitable one,' but of one or two lines, a 'hamper of claret.'Accordingly, his lordship had a 'motto found him' from 'Juvenal,' whichhe 'unhappily mistaking,' (not knowing 'Juvenal' was a 'poet,') printedas a prose 'sentence' in his 'title-page.'
If, then, 'one' or 'two' lines were of so much worth, (A 'hamper ofclaret'! No 'less'!) of what 'inestimable value' would 'such a letter asmine' be deemed?--And who knoweth but that this noble P--r, (who is now*living,) if he should happen to see 'this letter' shining with such a'glorious string of jewels,' might give the 'writer a scarf,' in order tohave him 'always at hand,' or be a 'mean' (some way or other) to bringhim into 'notice'? And I would be bold to say ('bad' as the 'world' is)a man of 'sound learning' wanteth nothing but an 'initiation' to make his'fortune.'
* i.e. At the time this Letter was written.
I hope, my good friend, that the lady will not 'die': I shall be much'grieved,' if she doth; and the more because of mine 'unhappymisrepresentation': so will 'you' for the 'same cause'; so will her'parents' and 'friends.' They are very 'rich' and 'very worthy'gentlefolks.
But let me tell you, 'by-the-by,' that they had carried the matteragainst her 'so far,' that I believe in my heart they were glad to'justify themselves' by 'my report'; and would have been 'less pleased,'had I made a 'more favourable one.' And yet in 'their hearts' they'dote' upon her. But now they are all (as I hear) inclined to be'friends with her,' and 'forgive her'; her 'brother,' as well as 'therest.'
But their 'cousin,' Col. Morden, 'a very fine gentleman,' had had such'high words' with them, and they with him, that they know not how to'stoop,' lest it should look like being frighted into an 'accommodation.'Hence it is, that 'I' have taken the greater liberty to 'press thereconciliation'; and I hope in 'such good season,' that they will all be'pleased' with it: for can they have a 'better handle' to save their'pride' all round, than by my 'mediation'? And let me tell you, (internos, 'betwixt ourselves,') 'very proud they all are.'
By this 'honest means,' (for by 'dishonest ones' I would not be'Archbishop of Canterbury,') I hope to please every body; to be'forgiven,' in the 'first place,' by 'the lady,' (whom, being a 'lover oflearning' and 'learned men,' I shall have great 'opportunities' of'obliging'; for, when she departed from her father's house, I had butjust the honour of her 'notice,' and she seemed 'highly pleased' with my'conversation';) and, 'next' to be 'thanked' and 'respected' by her'parents,' and 'all her family'; as I am (I bless God for it) by my 'dearfriend' Mr. John Harlowe: who indeed is a man that professeth a 'greatesteem' for 'men of erudition'; and who (with 'singular delight,' I know)will run over with me the 'authorities' I have 'quoted,' and 'wonder' atmy 'memory,' and the 'happy knack' I have of recommending 'mine own senseof things' in the words of the 'greatest sages of antiquity.'
Excuse me, my good friend, for this 'seeming vanity.' The great Cicero(you must have heard, I suppose) had a 'much greater' spice of it, andwrote a 'long letter begging' and 'praying' to be 'flattered.' But if Isay 'less of myself' than other people (who know me) 'say of me,' I thinkI keep a 'medium' between 'vanity' and 'false modesty'; the latter ofwhich oftentimes gives itself the 'lie,' when it is 'declaring of' the'compliments,' that 'every body' gives it as its due: an hypocrisy, aswell as folly, that, (I hope,) I shall for ever scorn to be guilty of.
I have 'another reason' (as I may tell to you, my 'old school-fellow') tomake me wish for this 'fine lady's recovery' and 'health'; and that is,(by some distant intimations,) I have heard from Mr. John Harlowe, thatit is 'very likely' (because of the 'slur' she hath received) that shewill choose to 'live privately' and 'penitently'--and will probably (whenshe cometh into her 'estate') keep a 'chaplain' to direct her in her'devotions' and 'penitence'--If she doth, who can stand a 'better chance'than 'myself'?--And as I find (by 'your' account, as well as by 'everybody's') that she is innocent as to 'intention,' and is resolved never tothink of Mr. 'Lovelace more,' who knoweth 'what' (in time) 'may happen'?--An
d yet it must be after Mr. 'Lovelace's death,' (which may possiblysooner happen than he 'thinketh' of, by means of his 'detestablecourses':) for, after all, a man who is of 'public utility,' ought not(for the 'finest woman' in the world) to lay his 'throat' at the 'mercy'of a man who boggleth at nothing.
I beseech you, let not this hint 'go farther' than to 'yourself,' your'spouse,' and Mrs. 'Barker.' I know I may trust my 'life' in 'yourhands' and 'theirs.' There have been (let me tell ye) 'unlikelier'things come to pass, and that with 'rich widows,' (some of 'quality'truly!) whose choice, in their 'first marriages' hath (perhaps) beenguided by 'motives of convenience,' or 'mere corporalities,' as I maysay; but who by their 'second' have had for their view the 'corporal' and'spiritual' mingled; which is the most eligible (no doubt) to 'substance'composed 'of both,' as 'men' and 'women' are.
Nor think (Sir) that, should such a thing come to pass, 'either' would be'disgraced,' since 'the lady' in 'me' would marry a 'gentleman' and a'scholar': and as to 'mine own honour,' as the 'slur' would bring her'high fortunes' down to an 'equivalence' with my 'mean ones,' (if'fortune' only, and not 'merit,' be considered,) so hath not the 'life'of 'this lady' been 'so tainted,' (either by 'length of time,' or'naughtiness of practice,') as to put her on a 'foot' with the 'castAbigails,' that too, too often, (God knoweth,) are thought good enoughfor a 'young clergyman,' who, perhaps, is drawn in by a 'poor benefice';and (if the 'wicked one' be not 'quite worn out') groweth poorer andpoorer upon it, by an 'increase of family' he knoweth not whether 'ismost his,' or his 'noble,' ('ignoble,' I should say,) 'patrons.'
But, all this 'apart,' and 'in confidence.'
I know you made at school but a small progress in 'languages.' So I haverestrained myself from 'many illustrations' from the 'classics,' that Icould have filled this letter with, (as I have done the enclosed one:)and, being at a 'distance,' I cannot 'explain' them to you, as I 'do tomy friend,' Mr. John Harlowe; and who, (after all,) is obliged to 'me'for pointing out to 'him' many 'beauties' of the 'authors I quote,' whichotherwise would lie concealed from 'him,' as they must from every 'commonobserver.'--But this (too) 'inter nos'--for he would not take it well to'have it known'--'Jays' (you know, old school-fellow, 'jays,' you know)'will strut in peacocks' feathers.'
But whither am I running? I never know where to end, when I get upon'learned topics.' And albeit I cannot compliment 'you' with the 'name ofa learned man,' yet are you 'a sensible man'; and ('as such') must have'pleasure' in 'learned men,' and in 'their writings.'
In this confidence, (Mr. Walton,) with my 'kind respects' to the goodladies, (your 'spouse' and 'sister,') and in hopes, for the 'young lady'ssake,' soon to follow this long, long epistle, in 'person,' I concludemyself,
Your loving and faithful friend,ELIAS BRAND.
You will perhaps, Mr. Walton, wonder at the meaning of the 'lines drawn under many of the words and sentences,' (UNDERSCORING we call it;) and were my letters to be printed, those would be put in a 'different character.' Now, you must know, Sir, that 'we learned men' do this to point out to the readers, who are not 'so learned,' where the 'jet of our arguments lieth,' and the 'emphasis' they are to lay upon 'those words'; whereby they will take in readily our 'sense' and 'cogency.' Some 'pragmatical' people have said, that an author who doth a 'great deal of this,' either calleth his readers 'fools,' or tacitly condemneth 'his own style,' as supposing his meaning would be 'dark' without it, or that all of his 'force' lay in 'words.' But all of those with whom I have conversed in a learned way, 'think as I think.' And to give a very 'pretty,' though 'familiar illustration,' I have considered a page distinguished by 'different characters,' as a 'verdant field' overspread with 'butter-flowers' and 'daisies,' and other summer-flowers. These the poets liken to 'enamelling'--have you not read in the poets of 'enamelled meads,' and so forth?