N.J. follows him up the stairs to Hattie’s door. “We’ll talk tomorrow, man,” N.J. says, rewrapping his scarf. Hair smoothed. “Tomorrow, man,” he says, then opens Hattie’s door without knocking and strides in, like the place is his own.
Morris heads on, pauses at Andrea’s apartment, contemplates knocking, but doesn’t. George might be there.
Two flights up.
Home.
Keying his door, Morris finds his apartment is quiet, empty. Seymour’s still at work. Dishes still need washing. Laundry needs doing.
He checks the messages, sees if Stefani, if anybody, called. No one.
In his room, a blank wall waits. His Agenda of Travel, some twenty years of planning, is no more.
His mother’s photo is face down.
He uprights it, so that it faces him, then sits on his bed. Everything’s shifting, sliding out of his control. He no longer knows what is what. His safe, set boundaries have cracked.
He lies down for a rest, closes his eyes for what feels like a moment, then jerks awake to the rhythmic steps of Sofar’s in the apartment overhead. 5:45 p.m. He’s slept over an hour. The day’s light wanes. Disoriented, he’s uncertain of the day, if it’s morning or evening. “Daddy?” he calls out. Seymour’s still not home.
Sitting up in bed, Morris finds his feet are bare. He must have taken his shoes, his socks, off. He doesn’t remember. Quickly, he puts them on, feeling exposed, vulnerable. Not ready.
Above, he hears Sofar hit one end of his apartment, turn and head back. The noise has become a part of Morris’s life. Like the bathroom door that doesn’t fully shut, it’s something he’s gotten used to. He no longer notices.
He’s to meet Stefani at 7 p.m., in an hour or so, in front of McSorley’s Ale House on Seventh Street.
Standing, the idea of visiting Sofar takes hold. “I’ll visit Sofar,” he says to himself, the floor creaking above his head. It’s more out of curiosity than kindness. Morris hasn’t paid him a visit in years, not since Sofar tried to get him to wear a dress.
“I’m going to visit him,” Morris says, for no other reason than it seems the right thing to do.
Chapter 28