Chapter 17: Mate
“You did cross paths with The System, didn’t you?” Ellie accused when I remained cocooned in my sullen silence.
Shaking my head, I said, “Lydia works for them.” Thoughtlessly, I’d divulged even more information I ought to have kept to myself.
I wasn’t going to tell her I worked for them too.
“Who’s Lydia?” She raised a suspicious eyebrow.
“My mate,” I answered. “She’s away for work at the moment.”
Was it my imagination or did she look a little disappointed when she said, “I take it you don’t mean mate as in your friend, buddy, chum, or pal.”
I shook my head. “I suppose humans would use the term partner.”
“Why don’t you use that term?” she asked immediately.
“I guess we see ourselves as predators, non-humans. I don’t know.” I shrugged. “That’s the word she used after she made me.”
“Made you? You’re dating the vampire that took your life?” She was completely taken aback by this.
Nodding, I remembered I’d not mentioned that part. “I was going to become like her anyway. She saw me.”
“She saw you?”
“Lydia is psychic. She had a premonition of me as her mate, the two of us together.”
“How romantic.” Ellie rolled her eyes. “She created you especially for her.”
I bit my lip, wanting to smile at her jealousy. At the same time, I knew jealous lovers in vampire form are not a laughing matter. “She can never know about you Ellie.” I heard the mild panic in my voice as I recalled the other reasons why she had to stay away from Lydia and our government. “You have to make sure you’re never, ever, on The System’s radar, do you understand?”
Rolling her eyes again, she said, “Don’t worry Christian, I promise not to tell your mate about us.” Then something occurred to her and she was intensely serious. “So, do you routinely cheat on her?” she asked, slightly disgusted. “I mean, do you sleep with all your… meals first?”
“I did not plan to… to have sex with you. But I wanted–”
“A one night stand,” she offered, cutting me off.
I nodded. “For the lack of a better term, yes. It was your fault, really.” She noted the accusation in my tone. “You said you could like me and I could tell you wanted to stay with me. So really, you are just as much to blame.”
Ellie found this funny and let out a chuckle. “Christian, are you apologising for taking my innocence and my life in the same hour?” Her tone was light but it made me feel guilty and I looked away.
“If I didn’t…” she began. “If I didn’t make it seem like I wouldn’t mind being seduced by you, you would have just killed me by the door instead of kissing me, right?”
“I would have killed you as soon as you walked through the door.” Well, that had been the plan. A plan I became reluctant to follow through with since I first saw her. “But it was before, when you said you could have feelings for me. Something strange happened to me, and I wanted you in more ways than one.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about it.” She gave me a small smile. “I’m glad I didn’t die a virgin.”
She was letting me off the hook so easily and I didn’t like this one bit. She ought to be judging me, accusing me of ending her human life. She should hate me for everything I’d done to her. I did.
“Though I admire your sense of humour at a time like this,” I said, finally brushing aside enough guilt to speak, “you cannot deny that you hate the fact that you slept with your killer moments before he killed you. The human in you, anyway. And then turned you into a monster.”
“But you didn’t kill me, not completely. Why?”
“It wasn’t something I planned, believe me!” I snapped.
“But it was actually because…?” she asked when I remained quiet. “Christian,” she pressed, “I know why I became like this, technically. But if you meant to drain me till I was an empty corpse, why did you stop drinking?”
“That was your fault too,” I snapped.
“How?” she snapped back.
I wasn’t sure how to answer this but I had to give her something close to the truth. I’d already told her a few lies, hidden a few truths, and kept a few details discreet, so what did it matter if I offered a slightly distorted version of the truth?
“You tasted…” Delicious. Heavenly. I can still taste it on my tongue. The best I’ve ever had. “You did not taste good.”
“Thanks,” she said sarcastically.
“Well, you tasted wrong,” I murmured, “and it terrified me.” This was true. It did scare me. “I just had to get away before it… I managed to heave most of it out of me but the rest… The rest just made me feel ill. When I was myself again, I realised it was too late. You were probably already like me. And you are.”
“Huh,” was all she said for a while, contemplating. “So…” she began but halted for a few seconds before continuing. “What happens to mistakes like me?” It almost sounded like she might cry when she asked that, her features forlorn.
It almost broke my stone heart.
I knew what she was thinking, as though she was telling me herself. As a human baby, she’d been a mistake. As a newborn vampire, she was no different. After giving birth to Ellie, her mother got stuck with her. Ellie didn’t think that would be the case with me.
I had to say something to distract her but what she deserved was the answer to her question. I couldn’t bring myself to give it to her yet. “I gain nothing by killing you,” I said, my tone flat. “And you’re too strong for me now, anyway. Of course, I have contemplated the notion that you would want to destroy me for creating you, taking your life, but I had to return to you before you left my flat. I couldn’t let you roam the streets without knowing the rules.”
“You still haven’t answered my question.”
“I told you, I already have a mate.”
“I’ll go off on my own then,” she said brightly.
“That is probably best,” I agreed, averting her gaze.
Looking back, this is the part that I hate the most. Sending her into the unknown, all on her own, simply because I couldn’t do my job and kill her and was too afraid of letting her go on to do hers.
“Ellie, I am sorry that I cannot guide you further.”
“I’m sorry I tasted so bad,” she laughed and I made myself join in as she stood up.
Already, I found myself missing her. I had never been ready to kill her and now I wasn’t ready to let her go.
“Ellie,” I called as she headed for the door. Stay with me a little longer. Stay with me forever. “Wait until its dark.”