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Chapter 36: Derek
I found a defense against Emilia and though I knew it was a weak one to the level of control she had over me, I used it as much as I could. The night after that encounter with the young woman and the vampire at the labyrinth, I decided that I was going to focus all my energies on thinking about Sofia. One memory in particular kept running through my mind, because no matter what Emilia’s control was making me feel, my mind kept reminding me that I wanted to marry Sofia.
“Marry me, Sofia. ”
I wasn’t expecting her to even respond, so when she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face on my chest, before nodding and saying, “Yes,” it was definitely a taste of heaven on earth.
“What?” I asked her, stepping back, so that I could look at her and make sure that she wasn’t joking. “Did you just say what I thought you said?”
She laughed at my reaction. “I’m not sure…” She tilted her head to the side, her long auburn locks falling over her shoulders. “What did you think I said?”
“It sounded like you were agreeing to marry me. ”
She paused and wrinkled her nose before shuffling on her feet. When she heaved an anxious sigh, I was already certain that I was just hearing things.
But then a huge smile appeared on her face. “Then you definitely heard right. ”
I was so preoccupied reliving that moment in my mind, I hadn’t even noticed how Emilia was glaring at me from across the table until she slapped my face with the back of her hand.
“I thought you said you loved me, Derek. You’re not even listening to me!”
That’s the point. I don’t love you. “I’m sorry, Emilia…”
I got another blow and then another and then another. Every fiber of my being longed to fight back, longed to retaliate, but I could not. What she was doing was such a stark reminder that I wasn’t in control. I was losing my mind and I knew it. I could access memories of Sofia, but I couldn’t even think about anything that was going on at the castle. Everything was confusing. I knew that I’d only been there for a few days, but it felt as if I’d been there for centuries. My mind was thinking of Sofia and mentally sending sarcastic quips and flat-out rejections Emilia’s way, but I was beginning to feel differently. I was beginning to feel like I was in love with Emilia.
I was losing the battle and I knew it, but I was clinging to every last straw of hope that I could still overcome this, that I could get back to Sofia.
“You love me!” Emilia screamed before once again hitting me. She did it over and over again, screaming the same thing until I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t know where the strength came from, but I hit her back so hard she went crashing to the ground.
And for some reason, I knew that she had won something over me based on the way she smirked as I lunged forward to attack her. I hit her and clawed at her. I watched her heal then I did it again. By the time I was done, a sick feeling came over me, because I found her snickering. I watched her heal before she fisted a clump of my hair and kissed me full on the mouth.
When our lips parted, she smirked, tilted her head to the side, and said, “Welcome to the darkness, Derek. ”
I then realized why she was acting so triumphant. The act of violence was me giving in to my dark side. She had provoked the part of me that would react with unbridled violence – a side of me Cora knew very well.
“She doesn’t know about this side of you… I’ll introduce it to her when I make you kill her, Derek. ”
She kissed me again and I could feel it happen. It was almost as if every memory I had of Sofia faded into some sort of subconscious black hole. I couldn’t even remember Sofia’s face. All that remained was that one strong sense of conviction that told me that I was a man in love with Sofia.
I was under Emilia’s full control for the rest of the day and I couldn’t even think of anything apart from her, but in the back of my mind that thought remained: I love Sofia Claremont. I love her. Not Emilia. I love Sofia.
Still, even that thought didn’t take long to disappear.
My stay at the Elder’s castle felt like an eternity I couldn’t escape from. I was falling in love with the woman I found myself so deeply attracted to from the moment I first laid eyes on her. Emilia was the girl for me and I had no doubt about it, but when it came to her, I was also consumed by another emotion apart from love: fear. Emilia terrified me. Everything about her – even the sweet, doting side of her – consumed me with utter fear.
One night, after we made love, I’d already drifted off to sleep and I had no clue how long I’d already been sleeping when she once again did something unexpected. . . and rather agonizing.
I had no idea why she was so furious with me, but the moment I woke up, I was introduced to Emilia’s claws scratching over my torso. I fought the urge to scream at the pain. Instead, I just stared at her, wondering what on earth I did to deserve the punishment. She quickly revealed what was bothering her so much that she would wake me up in such a violent manner.
“Say her name again, Derek, and I will kill you!”
I swallowed hard, wondering whose name I just said, but I knew better than to ask.
“You’re mine, do you understand?!” she screamed. “Mine!”
The manic look in her eyes was terrifying, I couldn’t suppress a shudder. She must’ve noticed my fear, because she quickly mellowed down and tears began to drop from the corners of her eyes. “I’m sorry… I just… I’m so in love with you, Derek. ”
I sat up on the bed, relieved that my torso was beginning to heal from the wounds she had just inflicted on me. “I know that, Emilia. I’m in love with you too. Why do you still doubt this?”
“Because you still say the name of the woman I hate, instead of saying mine. ”
That tugged at my heartstrings, but I couldn’t help but sense that something was different about this woman she was speaking of. I knew Emilia as a woman who harbored hatred for more people than just one, but I could tell that this woman was high up on her list. “What has she done to you that you would hate her so much, Emilia?”
“She tried to take you away from me. ”
I sneered. “No one could ever do that, Emilia. We belong together. ” Anger was beginning to build up inside of me as I contemplated the thought of anyone ever trying to take me away from Emilia. “Who is she?”
Emilia’s eyes widened with anger and suspicion. “Why do you want to know?”
I couldn’t understand her paranoia, but I knew that I had to quickly assure her. “Because I want to know who would bother you in such a way. I want to know how I can help. ”
“Kill her. I want you to kill her. If you love me, you will end her life. ”
I stared at her, knowing how consumed she was by her own darkness and I wondered to myself why I loved her, but all I knew was that I did and that I wanted to please her. “If I do this, then will that prove my love for you?”
Dark delight sparked in her eyes as she nodded and exclaimed, “Yes! Yes, Derek. Kill Sofia Claremont and we will be in love and happy forever. ”
“Consider it done. The moment I first lay eyes on her, I will rip her heart out just for you. ”
I couldn’t help but feel an agonizing void form within me when I thought about killing the stranger who was Sofia Claremont.
Chapter 37: Emilia
I knew he was telling the truth and it was pure delight to see the determination in his blue eyes when he assured me that he would indeed end the life of the young redhead who was the one person who could take him away from me.
I couldn’t help but throw my arms around his neck and press my lips against his, reveling in the fact that no longer did I hear his thoughts fighting against me. He was mine. Derek Novak was finally mine and he was in love with me. My love for him was finally no longer unrequited.
“You make me so happy, Derek,” I whispered into his ear as I kissed him.
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Just like clockwork, he told me what I wanted to hear. He told me that I made him happy too. I bit my lip and smiled, wondering how long the bliss would last, hoping that it would last for eternity.
We made love again and I snuggled against his arms, enjoying every moment I had, knowing that his heart was mine and mine alone.
His promise that he would end Sofia’s life gave me more assurance than I could ever dream possible and I found myself longing for the day that I would see him make good on his promise. When the familiar, fearsome presence of the Elder swept across my room, my eagerness to tell him what had just occurred overpowered the dread I felt whenever he was around.
“He has agreed to kill young Sofia, Master,” I blurted out. “Shall I arrange immediate transport to The Shade? It has to be done before the week is over and control over him is lost, although he is so enamored by me right now, I doubt we’ll lose control. ”
I was expecting him to be happy. I wanted him to congratulate me or to express how he was proud that I was able to accomplish what he set out for me to do. I was able to pull Derek back to the dark side. I was able to make him fall in love with me like we had planned, but I was mistaken. Instead, I got a lash right across my chest. I whimpered in pain. Why? I asked him, knowing that he knew my thoughts. What have I done?
“You naïve fool, Emilia. You’re nowhere near done. Don’t celebrate just yet. ” He hit me again and that’s when I realized that never before had I seen him happy for me nor for anyone else. Every triumph – whether by me or my siblings – was met with another challenge. We were never enough. We never achieved enough to justify a rest. We had to do more, accomplish more, be more until we failed so badly, he would have no other choice other than to end us. Those of us that were his children were never killed because we were good at succeeding at the tasks he gave us and then once again rising up to accomplish his next whim. That was the Elder’s endless and deadly cycle, and I was well aware that I could never get away from it.
“Will you ever be satisfied?” I found myself muttering out loud despite my better judgment.