"What's your problem? Why don't you want to discuss this? I don't like holding back. I hate secrets and fucking lies."
The venom in his words makes my heart slow. What?
"Are you still talking about last night?" I didn't lie last night.
His chest caves with a sharp intake of breath. He slowly breathes out. "No, I just ... I'm sorry. I prefer to have everything out in the open."
Yeah, that worked amazingly the last time I had everything out in the open ...
Can't say I'm loving out in the open.
"We both had a few drinks, and it happened. Or didn't happen. Whatever. It's done, so don't worry."
"Don't worry?" he asks.
I nod. "Yep. Let's forget it."
Kent frowns. "All right."
"Good. It's forgotten then," I confirm.
Kent's eyes linger on mine.
Nothing is forgotten.
16
Kent
Forget. Savannah wants us to forget. I know we probably should since things go from inferno to ice cold with us in a nanosecond, and that's not good with her being my sister's friend, but I can't--not the part where we were dancing and flirting, and it felt as natural as breathing. Everything was going well, and we were getting on. I got to see that side of her that made me genuinely like her and not just her body.
Of course it wasn't going to last.
We fucked things up. I fucked things up.
"So, is that all you came here for?" she asks.
I came here to pick up where we'd left off before I made a mess of things. But I can't tell her that. She wants to forget it.
"I wanted to clear the air before Heidi's barbeque."
She kicks her legs up underneath her. "Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm going to go."
"Why not?"
"I'm not feeling well."
She just looked me square in the eye and lied.
My hand tightens around the handle on the mug, and I resist the urge to snap. It's a white lie, one she feels she has to make because of my behaviour last night. I might hate lying, but I can't hold this one against her, not when it's me she wants to escape.
"Really? You didn't have that much to drink last night."
"It's not alcohol-induced. I'm just not feeling great."
I sigh, closing my eyes. "We're cool now, Savannah."
"Yeah, I know. This has nothing to do with you."
When I open my eyes again, she's nervously biting her lip.
"Bullshit." I take a sip of my coffee.
Savannah glares at me, her naked face impossibly beautiful, even when she's angry. "It's not bullshit."
"Heidi really wants you there. So does Brooke and my mum."
"I'll invite them out to lunch one day."
Fuck, she's impossible.
"It wouldn't suck for me to have you there either."
There, I said it.
Jesus. I like Savannah. Despite knowing very little about her and only seeing her true personality a couple of times, though she's always herself in messages, I like her. And not just in a wanting-to-get-her-naked way. I just wish she would drop the false side of her that she was so determined to show the world. It's like, if she portrays herself as someone in the background, she won't be bothered.
After everything I've been through, I still know I don't want to live a lie.
"Why? So, you can come on to me all night and then leave with one of Heidi's friends?"
"Yes, to the first part, and, well, you're the only friend going, so yes to that, too."
She rolls her eyes. "You're not coming home with me."
"I'm home with you right now."
"You know what I mean, dickhead!" she says, nudging my arm.
"Can we call a truce again? No more arguing."
"That sounds easy." The sarcastic tone in her voice makes me laugh. "It's not worked the other times we've tried."
"Yeah, we're not good at that."
She lifts her eyebrow. "Perhaps because you keep bringing up screwing each other's brains out every five minutes."
I hold my hand up. "Sorry, it's hard not to when you constantly make me hard."
"Didn't we just say we're not going to do that?"
"Sorry." I grin.
"I'll come to Heidi's barbeque," she concedes. "You'd better be on your best behaviour, Lawson!"
With a salute, I reply, "I'll be like a Boy Scout. Or a monk."
"I'm surprised you even know what a monk is."
"Come on, I'm not that bad."
"Have you only ever had one girlfriend?"
Why is she bringing this up?
"Yeah. Why?"
"Just wondering if there's a reason for the man-whoring or if you're a genuine one."
Laughing, I tip my head back. "A genuine one?"
"You know, one who just likes lots of sex and isn't trying to get back at anyone or the memory of someone."
I'm not a genuine one.
"Honestly?" I ask, and she nods. "Freya. We got together when we were seventeen, and by nineteen, it was all done."
She doesn't need any more information than that right now. She already knows way more about me and my family than I do about her.
"And, after that, you decided to sleep with everyone else?"
Laughing, I nod. "Something like that. I wasn't up for another relationship."
Her eyes round at my use of past tense. I wasn't up for another relationship, but now, I am. With her.
Would I really start something up with Savannah?
"What about you? Are you ready for the serious stuff?" I ask.
She hesitates, biting her bottom lip. Slowly, she dips her head in a reserved nod, like she's unsure. Or she's sure but scared.
"Now, is that because you're getting on a bit or because I'm too awesome?"
Her shoulders slump, and she loses the heat in her eyes. "What makes you think I would want a relationship with you?"
"I don't know how you're even trying to deny it. Do you often let men make you come in--"
"Okay, you're no longer allowed to bring up the restaurant thing either!" she snaps.
"Good luck with that. It was the most amazing moment of my life."
She rolls her pretty grey eyes.
"I'm taking you to the barbeque," I tell her. "How long do you need to get ready?"
"You trying to say I look like trash, Kent?"
"Your hair is messy as fuck, and you're wearing tiny shorts with a T-shirt that really doesn't hide the fact that you have no bra on."
With a glare, she wraps her forearms across her chest.
"Hey, I like that about your outfit. You look great."
She glares some more.
"Come on, you could never look like trash. But Brooke and Freddy are bringing Bobby with them, and I don't want him seeing those perfect tits."
"What if I want him to see them?" she says defiantly.
Sighing, I ask, "Do you, Savannah?"
I already know the answer, but I still wait for her reply.
"No, of course I don't."
"Drop your arm, babe. I don't like you hiding from me."
Why the fuck am I talking to her like she's mine?
Very slowly, her arm drops. Her eyes stay fixed on mine. I almost pass out.
Since when does this girl follow orders?
She's sitting beside me, bare legs crossed on the sofa, nipples popping against the thin material of her top, no makeup, and a fucking bird's nest on her head.
My idea of perfect.
"Why are you really here, Kent?"
"To clear the air after last night. It started off so well and then--"
"No, why are you really here?" she repeats more forcefully.
I know.
I'm here for her.
We've been building up to this since the first day in Heidi's studio. I've tried to deny it, but what's the point in delaying the inevitable? She is the first woman I've wanted to spend time with, be real with, since Freya, and I'm not about
to ignore that any longer.
"I'm already tired of going back and forth, Savannah, and I've only known you for around three weeks."
She plays with her fingers, squirming awkwardly on the sofa. "I thought we talked about casual sex. I'm not going to be your fuck buddy, Kent."
I press my lips together because laughing at her right now isn't going to get me what I want. What I need. "I'm not here to get you into bed."
Her eyes lift, and her hands still as she tries to process what I mean. "What are you saying?"
"I want more than sex."
"Wait, say that again, so I can record it." She grins.
"Can you be serious for one minute? And, no, because you'll let Max and Toby hear the recording, and they'll never let it go."
"I wouldn't."
Yeah, right.
She laughs and shakes her head. "Sorry, what were you saying?"
Folding my arms, I say, "I'm not sure if I want to tell you now."
She untangles her legs and stands up. There is so much bare skin, I don't know where to look first. I breathe heavier as she slips down onto my lap. Her eyebrow lifts when she feels how hard I am for her.
She'll have to get used to that. I don't think it's going away anytime soon.
"Tell me, Kent."
I sit up straighter, so we're chest-to-chest, and I wrap my arms around her back. Her hair falls in front of her face as she leans closer to me. My dick turns to steel at the feel of her slim body pressed against mine and at the smell of coconut.
Grey eyes the colour of a stormy night burn into mine.
"My God, you're beautiful, Savannah."
Her lips part. "Please tell me why you're here."
Her fingers desperately dig into my shoulders. She needs to hear the words; it's not enough that it's damn obvious what I want.
"I'm here for you. I'm here because I can't get you out of my head, and I'm done trying. I knew I would want a relationship again at some point. I just didn't think it would be so soon. But I'm ready. You make me ready." I look down her top. "And this body is certainly making me ready."
When I look back up at her, she has tears in her eyes.
"Kent, I--"
We don't need any more talking. I press my mouth to hers, effectively shutting her up. Her response is electric. She grips hold of me and moans, arching her body into mine. There is no distance--the way it should be.
Fuck, she feels good. Why haven't we been doing this the whole time?
Her lips are as soft as I imagined they would be, but she kisses me back with the same desperation I'm kissing her. My hand finds her hair. I tangle my fist in her locks at the back of her head, the way I've been desperate to for weeks, and hold her exactly where I want her.
Crying my name against my lips, she grinds against my dick, and I nearly fucking go off. I feel the orgasm building, my heart hammering and hips rocking against her.
Savannah whimpers, mashing her mouth against mine as her body shudders. The sound of her coming is my undoing. Ripping away from her, I throw my head back, groaning as I come harder than I have ever done before.
Fuck.
What the fuck was that?
My chest heaves. Savannah collapses down on me, and I hold her closer.
I just came in my boxers. That's not happened since I was about fourteen.
"You're amazing," I whisper, my heart jackhammering against my chest.
"Hmm, back atcha, Lawson."
"The third time I make you come, it's going to be while my tongue is inside you."
Laughing, she splays her fingers out on my chest and pushes herself up. "Sounds good to me." Her eyes dance. "Shower?"
My eyes widen. "Fuck yeah, a shower!"
17
Savannah
I drag my brush through my damp hair. Kent is lying on my bed, watching me like a hawk. He's naked, I'm naked, and we're together. We haven't necessarily said the words, but we don't need to. We both know what this is.
When I woke up this morning, I did not expect that, today, I would be with Kent. Now, I'm not going to get too ahead of myself, as this is all very new, but I'm happy.
My heart is aching in the best way, phone call with Simon forgotten for now.
"You okay?" Kent asks.
Smiling at him in the mirror, I reply, "Yep. You?"
He smiles back. "Yep."
Taking a breath, I focus on brushing my hair out before it dries a mess rather than all the ways this could go wrong. Plus, it's hard to concentrate on anything when my mind is on Kent using his tongue on me in the shower five minutes ago. My legs still feel like jelly.
"We need to go soon," he says, glancing at the clock on my bedroom wall.
"You want to go?"
"You would let me blow off Heidi's barbeque?"
I turn to him and frown. "No way."
"Then, we need to go soon."
"You would blow off your sister's barbeque?"
"Absolutely. There is still so much I want to do to you."
I put my hairbrush down on the vanity table and walk over to him. He sits up, back straight but arched a little forward, like he's getting ready to pounce.
"There's still so much I want to do to you, too, Kent, but we can't miss Heidi's birthday."
"She'll understand."
I tilt my head and deadpan.
"Fine, we'll go," he concedes with a sigh. "But, as soon as we get back to your place, I need to finally be inside you."
We haven't had sex yet. He was very focused on me, and then we washed each other. Although I do very much want to have sex with him, I loved the sensuality of having his hands lather soap over my body. He was showing me that not everything was about sex to him, like it used to be, like I assumed.
"And, as soon as we get in the car to drive back to mine, I want you in my mouth," I say.
"Oh my God, Savannah, don't say things like that unless you really mean them, baby," he whines, sitting up on his knees and pleading with me with wide eyes.
"You're so cute." My legs hit the edge of the bed. "I mean it. You've been very nice to me so far."
"Yes, I have. I really deserve a blow job."
Laughing, I bat his chest with my good arm. "Ugh, I got my splint wet. That's going to take ages to dry."
Kent takes my arm, eyeing the black splint stretching from my wrist to elbow. "Does it hurt?"
"Not really. Well, a little after the living room thing." I smirk. "But it was worth it."
"Do you need painkillers?"
"No, it's fine."
"Orgasm? That'll take your mind off it."
The word yes is on the tip of my tongue, but there's no time. If we don't leave very soon, we're going to be late. And, if we're late, Heidi will ask questions. Or Judy will.
"Later. Get dressed." I step back, and Kent pouts. "You're such a baby."
"I'm hard again." He looks down at his erection.
I don't want to look because we do need to go, but when Kent wraps his hand around the base, I can't help it.
"What're you doing?" I breathe. "Kent, stop. We need to get ready."
"I'm not stopping you from getting ready."
"You're wanking on the middle of my bed!"
A burst of laughter explodes from his mouth. He drops his hand, using it to tug me onto the bed. "Wow, babe." Bending his head, he kisses me. "You have such a way with words."
"I want you," I murmur against his mouth. Watching him touch himself is so hot, I'm throbbing. "I need to come again."
He moans against my mouth and pulls back. "No more orgasms until we get to mine."
"What?"
With a laugh, he gets off the bed. "You've been teasing me for weeks. It's time to taste your own medicine."
"That's not okay, Kent."
What the hell is he thinking?
"I think I'm going to enjoy this," he says.
"You're still hard," I point out.
"Oh, I know it's going to suck for me, too, but I'll deal with it."
>
I fold my arms. "I've wanted you the last couple of weeks, too, you know. Do you have any idea how many times I've woken in the night, thinking about you, and had to take care of myself?"
His nostrils flare at my words. "You don't play fair, woman."
"No, I don't."
He steps into my space and cocks his eyebrow. "I guess we'll see who cracks first."
The bastard.
"I guess we will." I walk away, knowing he's watching, and bend down to get underwear from my drawer.
He takes a sharp intake of breath, and I smile.
I'm so winning this.
We arrive at Harrold and Judy's house with minutes to spare. They knew Kent was picking me up, so it's not suspicious that we've arrived together.
Though I don't know if we're supposed to keep us a secret or not. We've not discussed the details yet. We were too busy getting naked ... and not having sex.
Kent cuts the engine and looks across at me. "So ..."
Okay, looks like he wants to have that conversation now.
"So?" I prompt.
"If for any reason you don't want to tell anyone about us, let me know now."
"You plan on telling them?"
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?"
Shrugging, I grab my bag from beside my feet. "I don't know. It's new."
"That means it has to be a secret?"
"No, of course not. I just haven't even had a second to process everything, and as much as I love your mum--"
"She's going to be very into this," he says, completing my sentence. "All right, why don't we agree to keep it to ourselves for today?"
"Okay."
"Just today, Savannah. I'm not hiding us any longer than that."
"Me neither. Besides, it'll make the game more interesting."
His eyes light up. "You still think I'm going to give in before you?"
"Oh," I say, opening the car door, "I know you are."
Kent follows me along the long path, carrying presents for Heidi.
"Your arse looks amazing in those shorts," he says, looking straight ahead, acting like he's not uttered a word.
"My arse would look better on your lap."
He purses his lips, but it fails to stop him from grinning.
I won that one at least.
What have I even turned into? My head is filled with all things dirty.
I've never felt this need to have a person all the time before. Old friends would confess to feeling the same when they got into new relationships, but I always thought I was different, or they were exaggerating because I didn't have that with Simon. Sure, we had sex, but he never made me feel like I was burning and like I had to have him right then and there.
So, I guess we weren't compatible sexually either.