"We are not trying to diminish what you went through or how devastating it was for you to lose your baby, but we couldn't lose our whole family," her mum says. "I'm sorry we didn't do enough for you."
"Why did you forgive them so quickly?" Savannah asks. "It was only a matter of weeks."
Her mum wrings her hands. "It wasn't easy. I was so angry with Isla and Simon for what they'd done. But, when it came down to it, I had to try to preserve the family. I had to try to fix things between you all, so we could be a family."
"But they were together. I don't understand how you could go from watching him with me to watching him with her."
"Like I said, it wasn't easy. I wish none of it had happened, but I can't control anyone's behaviour, Savannah."
"No, you can only control yours, and you chose to forgive what they had done to me so fast. How could you look them in the eye, knowing what they'd done? That cheating arsehole was flitting between us both, but you invited him back into your house."
"You make it sound like we had a one-night stand," Isla says. "We fell in love. I'm sorry that happened, but it did."
Savannah looks at her sister and rolls her eyes. "Don't be naive, Isla."
I frown. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Laughing, Savannah waves her hand. "Nah, actually, don't worry. It doesn't matter. Believe him all you want."
Isla sits forward. "No, you finish what you were going to say!"
"Isla, enough," their mum says. "We didn't come here to argue."
"She's trying to tell me something about Simon, Mum."
Simon wants Savannah back. That's never happening.
"I don't care about Simon!" her mum snaps.
"Can I applaud?" I whisper to Savannah.
She nudges my arm, trying to hide a smile.
"I don't care about Simon either," Savannah adds. "So, let's move on."
The look Isla gives Savannah, eyes narrowed and chin pointed, has me straightening my back. I will kick this bitch out of my apartment if she's going to be a dick to my girl.
"Whatever," Isla mutters.
Savannah ignores the world's worst sister and turns back to her parents. "Were you as angry with me as it seemed when I wouldn't get on board with your new happy family plan?"
Her dad drops his head further and leaves it to her mum to answer. "At the time, when we were all hurting and couldn't see things clearly, yes. I'm so sorry, Savannah. We know it was wrong. As soon as the dust settled, we realised what we'd done, but by then, it was too late because you'd gone, and all we had was a note."
"Did you look for me?"
"Of course we did. We tried getting through to you first, then family, and then your friends. We drove to hostels, and then we went to the police. We knew there wasn't anything they could do though. You were nineteen and had left a note."
She folds her arms. "Yes, I did leave a note. One saying not to try to find me, which you clearly ignored."
"We're your parents. We could never honour that request."
"I'm not surprised really. You've not done anything that I wanted in the past."
"You're being purposefully difficult," Isla snaps.
"You were purposefully unfaithful," Savannah replies.
She's doing a much better job of keeping cool than her spiteful sister, and Isla is getting frustrated by that fact.
"You and Simon weren't right."
"Maybe not, and maybe you two did fall for each other, but I'm your sister, and you never should have gone there. The little coward should have ended it with me first. Instead, you decided to go behind my back, even after you learned I was pregnant. I don't really know how you justify that to yourself, Isla, and to be honest, I don't care, but don't pretend like you're innocent, and don't act like what you did was okay."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Isla spits.
Savannah rolls her eyes. "Of course I don't."
"Girls, please," her mum says. "Savannah, we came here to try to settle our differences and to apologise for letting you down."
"Well, you've apologised, and as far as I'm concerned, our differences are settled."
"I don't think you mean that unless you're willing to let me and Dad back into your life."
She shrugs. "Fine, I don't mean it then. We won't agree here, so I think you should all leave. Maybe shoot me a text occasionally if you want, but beyond that, I don't want anything to do with you."
Savannah's mum holds her heart. "I want a relationship with you again."
"It's too late for that." She sighs. "Look, I'm not trying to hurt you, but this is most certainly a case of too little, too late, Mum. I got tired of being angry and wishing for things that weren't going to happen. I've moved on, and I'm happy." She squeezes my leg. "Really happy."
Yeah, fuck you, I make her happy!
"Savannah ..." her dad says.
"Don't, Dad. There are no hard feelings. Let's just leave it at that."
Isla snorts. "And me?"
"Definitely no hard feelings with you. You're with Simon, and that's punishment enough."
I press my lips together tight, so I don't laugh. Isla's eyes become slits as she glares so hard at Savannah. Her parents don't say anything. I cut them a look in case they suddenly get any ideas.
Savannah stands up.
I blink up at her before rising to my feet. Where is this going?
"You okay, babe?" I ask, touching her back.
Her grey eyes peek up at me, and a smile touches her lips. "I'm great actually." She turns back to her parents and sister. "I'm glad we got to clear the air, but I think we should leave it there, and you should go."
Her parents stand. Isla gets up too, and she looks longingly at the door.
"Honey, I don't--"
"Mum, my offer to message occasionally stands, but that's it."
"Right. Okay," she replies, wiping a tear from her cheek.
Savannah doesn't react to her mum crying.
"Let's go. This was a waste of time," Isla says, folding her arms.
Looking at her sister, Savannah smiles sarcastically. "Take care, and good luck."
Her parents turn to leave when a hammering on my front door has us all freezing.
Savannah tilts her head up. "What the hell is that?"
I move around her. "I don't know. You stay there."
The banging rattles the door until I swing it open.
"What the fuck do you want, prick?" I growl at Simon as he stands before me, breathing heavily with his hands clenched.
In the background, I hear Isla say Simon's name and the sound of footsteps closing in.
"Where is she?"
"Isla's inside."
"Not her!" he snaps.
Savannah. He's here for Savannah right now.
37
Savannah
Me? Simon wants to see me?
Kent turns back to me from the door, and Simon uses that as the perfect opportunity to let himself into the apartment.
"What the hell is going on?" Isla shouts to Simon.
She heard him admit that he was looking for me and not her.
"Why won't you answer my calls?" Simon asks me, totally ignoring his girlfriend.
I fold my arms. "Because I'm done talking to you."
"Well, I'm not done!" he snaps, saliva spitting from his mouth.
Isla steps forward and throws her arms in the air. "Simon, what the hell is this?"
His head snaps to her like he's just noticed she's in the room. He's not at all focused on my sister; it's all about trying to get me back. He doesn't have a hope in hell of that. This is going to be good since Isla has just realised exactly what's happening.
Karma, you beauty.
"You don't understand," Simon says to Isla.
"Understand what? What can you possibly want from my sister?" Isla shouts.
I laugh because I've been there. "I used to ask myself the same question."
Isla growls and takes a step toward me. My b
ack instantly straightens. I won't back down to her. But Kent still steps forward at the speed of light and puts his body half in front of me.
I love him.
"Isla, that's enough," Mum says, sobbing at the exchange. "Let's go. You can sort this out with Simon later."
Simon growls. "I don't need to sort this out with Isla. I need to sort this out with Savannah."
"You're crazy if you think you need anything from my girl," Kent snaps at him. "Now, get the fuck out of my apartment."
His apartment. Wait. How does he know where Kent lives? Unless Isla told him. I did give Mum the address. Or the little weasel followed us. That sounds more like The Colossal Wanker's style.
He turns his nose up as his beady little eyes take Kent in.
Good luck, knobhead. Kent could crush him with one hand.
"Try it," Kent warns, his shoulders broadening.
Okay, so, as much as I really do love Kent backing me up, I need to do this. They only know the strong Savannah. They weren't around for the last three years when I lost myself to grief, so I don't want to show them I need a man to fight my battles. And I don't want a man to fight my battles.
I touch Kent's arm and step around him.
I've got this.
"Enough," I snap. "This is Kent's apartment, so you'll play nice, or you'll leave right now." I step forward. "I'm going to say this one last time, and I'll be very clear, so you understand. I don't want anything to do with you. Don't call me, don't message me, don't stop by. Our contact ends here today, so go home with Isla, and get on with your life."
Isla's face turns red, like she's been holding her breath for the last five minutes. "Simon!" she screeches. "What is going on?"
Surely, he has to come clean now. He has to tell her that he's not happy. It wasn't that long ago that he admitted that Isla was a mistake, and he would ditch her for me. Not that I would ever have him back. There's no way out of this for him.
Sighing long and hard, he throws his hands up. "We're wrong."
Kent looks at me at the same time I turn to him. Even though Kent wouldn't piss on Simon if he were on fire, he still winces at how badly Simon's explaining things to Isla.
"We're wrong," she repeats, tilting her head like she's testing the words to see if they make sense.
They do to me.
"Everything. What we did, the fact that we stayed together. It's all wrong."
Mum and Dad move closer to Isla. I remember what that feels like, though I doubt they'll move away from her after a few weeks.
"Maybe you could take this outside," I say. "We're done here. You can work on your relationship or your breakup elsewhere."
"Shut the fuck up, Savannah!" Isla snaps. "What did you say to him? You've gotten in his head."
She's angry, so I'll ignore her telling me to shut up, especially since she followed it by a question. "Hmm, let me think. What did I say to him? I told him to leave, and I told him never to contact me again. Did you fall asleep for that part?"
"Let's calm down," Dad says.
"First, I am calm, and second, I never asked for this. I didn't want any of you to come here, so for Isla to accuse me of anything is ridiculous. Simon is all hers. Believe me, I do not want him."
"How can you say that after everything?" Simon asks.
I deadpan and twist my body to face him. No one else speaks either because, despite what anyone thinks of the situation, we all know he and Isla are ultimately to blame here.
"Did those words actually just come out of your mouth? Are you high or drunk? It's because of everything that I don't ever want to see you again."
His eye twitches, and he shakes his head.
Is there something wrong with him? A breakdown maybe?
He doesn't seem to register his place in this. For him not to understand where I'm coming from is ludicrous.
"It was always us," he says.
"Until it was you and my sister. Leave, Simon."
"This is un-fucking-believable!" Isla shouts. She lunges forward and pushes Simon.
Mum dashes toward her and pulls her back while my dad does nothing. No shock there.
"Isla, don't," Mum pleads. "Let's just go and talk."
I roll my eyes.
"I'm sorry," Simon says to her. "I tried, Isla, but it never felt right. I only realised that when Savannah left. Everything got so serious, so quickly. Savannah and I were talking about moving in together when we finally went away to uni, and you were there. Then, Savannah got pregnant and lost the baby."
Savannah got pregnant. Yeah, I did that all on my own.
I grind my teeth. He's never said that he blames me for losing the baby, and I always assumed he wouldn't, but he kind of put it all on me there.
You know what? No. I'm not going there.
I've only just stopped blaming myself, so I'm not going to allow him to throw me ten steps back.
He can fuck right off.
"You got her pregnant." Kent folds his arms and raises his eyebrow.
So, I wasn't going to bite, but apparently, he's not letting that go.
Simon looks like he wants to kill Kent. "Who the hell asked you?"
"Okay, you need to leave. Right now. Get out."
Simon takes a step back and pulls something out of his pocket. A knife.
My eyes widen, and I open my mouth to shout at him, but Kent tugs me back behind him.
"What are you doing with that?" Isla asks.
"Son, you need to put that down," Dad says.
"Savannah, I need to talk to you on your own." He holds the knife higher.
It's long, and it has a serrated edge. I didn't notice it until he was holding a knife, but he looks tired and run-down. His eyes are red and sunken, hair a mess, and his clothes are wrinkled from days of use.
"Not happening," Kent snaps.
I ignore everyone else in the room because the only person I seem to think is capable of remaining calm is me. Well, my dad, too, but he's unlikely to do anything.
Raising my hands, I say, "I'll talk to you if you put the knife down."
"Savannah--"
I cut Kent off before he can say any more. "Shh!" I hush sharply. "You've got my attention, Simon. Put it down."
He holds the knife higher. "We belong together."
I want to correct him because we most certainly do not, but I'm not looking to piss off the guy wielding the knife.
"Why now, Simon? After all this time, it doesn't make sense."
His wild eyes dart to Isla and then back to me. "She ..."
"What?" I repeat.
"She wants a baby."
"Oh." Good luck to that kid, having them as parents.
He runs his hand over his face. "All I could think about was how it should have been with you."
Isla gasps, taking a step back like she's been slapped.
Definitely no way back now.
"We were a long time ago, Simon. You made your choice the second you allowed things to go too far with her. There was never going to be any way back, not even if we hadn't lost the baby."
"That's not right. It's not right. We belong together, Savannah. It's always been us, right from when we were fifteen."
I look at Isla for--dare I say it--help. But she's just staring at him with tears in her eyes, devastated. I'm not sure what she expected really. He's hardly going to be the most reliable since he's done one of the crappiest things to a girlfriend that you could do.
There's a shift in the air, a kind of desperation that has the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Simon breathes deeply. His knuckles turn white around the handle of the blade.
It makes Kent sidestep, so he's protecting more of me.
"We belong together, Savannah."
Isla snaps, "Okay, Simon, just calm down a minute."
She's changed her tune. As angry as she is that he's just admitted he doesn't want her, she's still trying to appease him.
Because she thinks he's about to do something stupid.
&
nbsp; He's not paying any attention to her though. He's watching me like no one else is around. I fucking hate it, but again, he has a knife.
Kent's forearm muscles flex as he clenches his fists.
He wants to finish this. He wants to grab Simon and punch him. I do, too. I'd love nothing more than to whack Simon around the head with his own knife--handle end, of course, as I'm not a monster--but that wouldn't be smart.
"What we did wasn't right, Isla." He turns toward her and points the blade at her chest. "It wasn't right. You kept telling me it was, that it was okay because we had fallen in love, but it wasn't okay."
My heart drops. She's a bitch, but I don't wish her dead.
"Simon, look at me," I say. "It is okay now. A lot of time has passed, and I know you're sorry. Please put that down and talk to me."
He turns his head but keeps the knife pointing at Isla. "You don't want me."
My body tenses. I can't lie. "No, I'm sorry, I don't."
"No. No, no, no, no!" he raves, the veins in his neck popping through the skin. He walks toward the door.
No one moves because none of us really knows what to do. I've never seen him like this before.
When he stops, his back hunches, and he slowly turns around. There are tears in his empty eyes.
"I can't live without you," he rasps.
His words turn my blood to ice.
"Simon, don't!" I shout, lunging forward as he turns the knife to himself.
Kent's arm wraps around my waist and yanks me back. Simon looks up, his vacant eyes burning into Kent, his lip curling, furious that Kent thinks Simon is a threat to me.
"Let her go. She's not yours," Simon says, voice low and chilling.
I am Kent's in every way possible, but that's only going to add fuel to the fire.
Kent's arm tightens around my waist.
Simon raises the knife, so it's pointing in the air.
"Can you put that down, please?" I say, holding my hands up. I nudge Kent, and he lets go, but he doesn't move even a millimetre away from me. "Simon, give me the knife, and we'll talk."
His eyes flit between everyone in the room, spending a fraction longer each time he reaches me again. He looks lost, scared, and empty. Like he has nothing left to lose.
"Simon," I repeat, "can you give me the knife?"
Turning from Isla, he looks at me and nods. "It's really over." His voice is a whisper. He's talking to himself, finally realising that there's no way back for us.
"Simon, hand Savannah the knife, son," Dad says.
I want to roll my eyes. I've almost defused the situation, so now, he talks up. Where was he when Simon turned the knife on himself?