“Like me.”
She snort-laughed at that one. “I need Flora’s dish towel so I can smack you with it.”
“Sounds kinky.” He leaned back in his chair, his gaze analyzing her. “But back to what you said about being daring, why would you think tonight is par for the course for me?”
She focused on the bowl of chips and shrugged. “You’re living the wild, single life every day. That’s all I’m saying.”
He reached out and tapped the top of her hand, making her look up. Lines appeared around his mouth. “No, you’re saying I fuck random girls in random places, so you’re just another one on the list, right? Another night.”
She winced. “I didn’t mean—”
“You did.”
She sighed. “Fine. Maybe I did. I’m not saying I have a problem with it.”
His jaw twitched. “Let’s get something straight, Oakley. If I wanted a random fuck tonight, I would’ve had one—at the party the guys invited me to, at The Ranch if I went solo, at any club downtown. But that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to be with you. You think I haven’t taken risks tonight?”
She stuck another chip in her mouth, fighting the images of Pike going out and picking up some other girl.
“So that’s a yes.” He let out a frustrated breath. “Look, you can believe what you want, but I’ve never done anything with a woman at my studio. I’ve never brought a date here. And I definitely don’t talk about the shit that happened when I was a kid to anyone. Even the record company has a fake, generic bio for me just so I can avoid talking about it altogether. So stop thinking you’re just some piece of ass, all right? I’d like to think we’re friends and that I’m treating you as such—regardless of whether or not we’re sleeping together.”
She frowned, his words stinging. Had she been treating him like that? Like she was just a fill-in lay on his calendar? Maybe. Yes. No matter how much she liked Pike, she kept reminding herself that he was who he was. Screwing women was sport to a guy like him. Keeping that at the front of her mind helped her keep her head straight about all this. But the hurt hovering in his eyes hit home. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply that. I’m glad we’re … friends.”
He grabbed his beer and took a sip, brooding.
“And the childhood stuff … I know you didn’t have to share that with me.”
He shrugged. “I should’ve never said anything. Nothing ruins a fun date faster than some poor-me sob story. It just slipped out. That was my bad.”
“No. I’m glad you did,” she said, reaching out for his hand. “I … I like getting to know you. Even the ugly stuff. We all have it. I mean, in a lot of ways, I can relate.”
He looked up, clearly still annoyed but curiosity sparking in those green-gold depths.
She let go of his hand and took a long sip of her beer, trying to find some bravery so she could be open with him like he had been with her. “I didn’t struggle in the same way you did. In a lot of ways, my childhood was ideal. We didn’t have a lot of money, but my parents owned a farm, so we had space and I had a lot of brothers and sisters to play with. We were homeschooled so there was a lot of flexibility.”
Pike nodded but didn’t say anything. He was probably afraid to spook her off talking.
She picked up her butter knife, turning and turning it to give her hands something to do, the memories of her childhood rearing up and punching her in the chest. Sometimes she forgot how good things had been in those early years when her parents were heroic and infallible in her eyes. “Things were happy for a long time. But my parents had strict views on religion and life. They supported my singing career when I originally got signed to a Christian group at fifteen, but when that didn’t work out and I landed the Pop Luck gig, things became strained. They let me continue with it for a while because the family could use the money. But when I got pregnant, they told me I couldn’t come back home unless I married the father or placed the baby for adoption. I wasn’t willing to do either, and they cut me off. Just like that. Like we hadn’t had this whole life of being a family together. I moved in with my brother permanently after that.”
He grimaced. “Wow.”
“Yeah, they’re good people in many ways. I never wanted for love when I was a kid. But they’re neck deep in very old, strict beliefs that they won’t ever shake. They eventually forgave me for the premarital sex and the fact that I didn’t marry the father, because they wanted to see their grandchild. But Devon was cut out completely once he came out to them.”
Pike shook his head. “Sad.”
“I probably would’ve never talked to them again if not for Rae. I don’t want her to not know her grandparents, aunts, and uncles, so I make an effort to go up to the farm on holidays. But it’s tense and awkward. And I spend the whole time pissed because they don’t let Devon come. I mean, I can’t imagine Rae doing anything—outside of murdering someone—that would make me cut her out of my life. How does a parent do that?”
Pike took another swig of his beer, eyes stormy. “It’s fucked up. But it happens all the time. Your parents chose their beliefs over you and your brother. My mom chose her boyfriend and a nice house over her son.” He grabbed another chip. “It’s one reason why I don’t want to have kids. I don’t trust that I’d be one of the good ones.”
She tilted her head. “Why would you say that?”
Emilio served their plates, interrupting the conversation. He slid two steaming hot dishes in front of them. “Pollo en Mole Poblano, Mamá’s specialty.”
Oakley leaned over her plate and inhaled the fragrant steam, picking up some savory combination of chiles and cinnamon. Dark sauce covered bone-in chicken, and fried plantains and rice completed the dish. “This smells like hours in the kitchen.”
Emilio smiled proudly. “Days. Mamá’s sauce takes days to build up all that flavor.”
“Well, tell her I can’t wait to try it,” she said.
Emilio made sure they didn’t need anything else and then left them alone. Pike tucked into his meal as if she hadn’t asked him something right before the food had arrived.
She lifted a brow at him. “Not going to answer my question?”
He chewed his bite of chicken and gave a half-shrug. “I’d suck as a parent. My band is my life. I travel all the time. I’m a selfish fucker. And no one needs me as a role model, believe me.”
“Right. Someone who came from nothing and made his dream come true. You’re a totally lame role model.”
His lips smoothed into a straight line. “That life’s just not for me.”
“Yeah, well, I would’ve said the same thing back in the day. Music was my only true love. But sometimes life has other plans.”
She cut into her chicken and began to eat, lost in thought. When she was a teenager, she’d balked at the idea of growing up and doing the mom thing. Her mother’s whole life was her kids—taking care of them, feeding everyone, cleaning the house, home-schooling. She’d never seen the woman have an identity outside of that. Her mom didn’t seem to mind. She was one of those people whose life mission was to be a mother. But Oakley had never imagined that to be her own future. She still felt woefully unequipped most of the time with Reagan. She’d never be Super Mom. She’d never have that sparkly clean sink.
“Must’ve been terrifying to find out you were pregnant that young. I had a scare with a girl right after I finished high school and I fucking panicked. I knew then that I wasn’t meant for parenthood because all I wanted to do was run.”
“You wouldn’t have been the first guy to do it.”
“Is that what happened with Reagan’s dad?”
The delicious food turned bitter in her mouth. She stabbed a plantain with her fork and looked up. “How about we talk about this place you’re taking me to?”
He smiled, chagrined. “We’re ruining the date again, aren’t we? God, you’d think we could just shut the fuck up and talk about all the sordid things I’m going to do to you tonight.”
r />
“We suck.”
“Yes, there will be that. Lots of sucking.”
She laughed and threw him an are-you-twelve? look. “Seriously, what am I getting into? I read those papers I had to sign. The contracts. Seems like there’s lots of … things to try.”
He leaned onto his elbows, considering her. “We’ll have everything at our fingertips. It just depends on how brave you’re feeling. Technically, you have to go in as my submissive. That’s how I’m getting you in without you having a membership. And that will also make it clear that no other members should approach you for play.”
The word submissive sent a little shiver through her. “But it’s just a technicality because you’re not a dominant, right?”
He lifted his beer, his eyes never leaving hers while he sipped. “I don’t pick a label. Doesn’t mean I can’t take control.”
She licked her lips. Pike was a playful guy. She’d fully enjoyed their give and take in the studio. But she couldn’t deny that the thought of him taking the reins intrigued her. The night he’d given her instructions on the phone had been intensely erotic, knowing she was doing his bidding, that she could just let go and follow the steps without all the analyzing that usually accompanied her every move.
“Do you like doing that? Being in charge?” she asked carefully.
He leaned forward and covered the hand she had on the table with his. “In life? Yes. In the bedroom? I’m usually more flexible. But I have to tell you.” He flipped her hand over, exposing her palm, and ran a finger down the center of it. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about since I first touched you tonight.”
The words crawled up her spine, wrapping around her body and washing over her breasts and neck, making her aware of every one of her erogenous zones in one swift rush. She took a deep breath. “Why is that?”
His finger continued to caress her hand, but his eyes held her gaze. “Because you’re so put together, so self-contained. I got glimpses of what’s behind all of that on the phone, but tonight I saw what you’re like when you let go, when you give in to your desires. Thinking of you putting your pleasure completely in my hands, trusting me to take care of you tonight?” He shifted. “I’ll get hard as fucking stone just thinking about it.”
The flush in her upper body ventured south—the pulse, pulse, pulse of awareness settling between her thighs—but she tried to keep her voice even. “I can see the appeal in that.”
“Yeah?”
“I never would’ve thought I’d say that. My ex—Rae’s father—he was into having all the control.”
Pike frowned. “Was he a dom?”
“No, he was an asshole,” she said flatly. “I was too young. I let him control things in my life, including the bedroom. But it wasn’t BDSM. I think he got off on my innocence, so he played the romantic role, the gentle lover, the man who would show me the way.”
Lines appeared around Pike’s mouth. “How old was he?”
“Twenty-eight. He was my manager.”
“Christ, Oakley. He—”
She put her hand up, not wanting to travel too far down that road. “I’m only telling you because I know you can probably understand better than most since you had that relationship with your teacher. His control was laced in sweet words and dressed up with romantic notions. It turns my stomach to think about how easily he manipulated me. So I have no interest in ever handing over that kind of control again. But the dominance/submission stuff … well, that seems a lot more honest and upfront. You’ve got me thinking pretty hard about it lately.”
He stared at her for a moment longer, appearing to debate whether he was going to prod more of her story out of her, but eventually he let the intense scrutiny ease and he softened his expression. “So I’m wooing you over to the dark side?”
She smiled. “Maybe. I don’t know if the formal stuff would be my thing. If you made me call you sir, I’d probably want to punch you in the throat.”
He laughed. “No worries. Supreme Master of the Universe would work just fine.”
She snorted. “Of course. But now I’m starting to understand how the power-exchange thing can be exciting when done right. When clients call and want to play the master/slave role-play, I spend most of my time rolling my eyes at their commands. I’ve never found it sexy until …”
“Until what?”
“The night you put all the appointments on my calendar.”
A pleased smile spread on his lips. “I’ve never wanted to give commands like that, but I nearly lost my mind that night wondering if you were following them.”
“I did. I liked it. It was nice to shut off the busy part of my brain and just follow the directions. All my adult life, I’m always the one who has to be responsible, make the decisions, handle it all. Listening to you for a little while … it was like a vacation. A really sexy vacation.”
Fire flared in his eyes, and he held her gaze. “Wanna take another trip then?”
“I don’t want to force you into a position you don’t want to be in …” She paused, considered. “Well, on second thought, that could probably be hot, too.”
He chuckled. “Dirty girl.”
“Definitely. It’s in my job description.”
“No.” He shook his head. “This has nothing to do with your job. This is you.” He laced his fingers with hers. “And I promise you, you’re definitely not forcing me into a role I don’t want. I want this—more than maybe I ever have. You seem to inspire that side of me. But I’ll make you a deal. If you’re really interested in exploring both sides, next time I’ll be yours to do with what you will. Your personal slave boy.”
The offer sent her nerve endings tingling and X-rated pictures flashing through her head, but she frowned. “This is only supposed to be one night, Pike.”
He leaned closer, all swagger and sex appeal, and a slow, confident smile curved his lips. “Baby, you’re not going to want to walk away after what I do to you.”
Her breath left her for a second, and the restaurant seemed to fade around them as their gazes locked. She swallowed hard. “Well, someone’s confident.”
His eyes creased at the corners. “Gonna find out if I can back it up?”
She didn’t break the eye contact. It felt like they were squaring off in a ring, challenge hovering between them. She’d promised herself this was a one-night getaway, but the thought of her and Pike trading power back and forth, pushing each other to new edges—no, she couldn’t think about that right now. That kind of temptation was dangerous. “Guess I am. For tonight.”
He looked like he may argue the one night point with her again, but then his expression smoothed and he gave a small nod. “Pick a safe word, Oakley. One that you can remember easily.”
The command startled her for a second, sent her thoughts scattering, but her body’s response was instant. “Why do I need one of those?”
“Because I’m not going to ask your opinion on our activities tonight. This isn’t going to be a negotiation. But I also want you to let me know if we’re about to cross a line you’re not willing to cross.”
She could feel her heartbeat in her throat. They were going to do this. She was going to give him the control tonight. If the theme of the night was bravery, she was about to bungee jump off a rocky cliff. She wet her lips and gave him the first word that came to mind. “Oklahoma.”
His brow arched.
“It’s where I’m from.”
“Okay. Use that word if you want anything to stop at any time tonight. But only use it if you truly want to pull the eject cord. You’ll enjoy this a lot more if you trust me to take you outside your comfort zone. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“And you understand that for the rest of the night, I’m making the decisions? The only control you have is that safe word.”
Blood rushed through her ears. “I do.”
“Excellent. Now”—he released her hand and slouched back in his chair, legs wide in that cocky man way—
“let’s see how much you mean that. The restroom is in the back right corner of the restaurant. Go in there and take off your panties.”
“What?” She’d heard him, but the knee-jerk reaction was impossible to stop.
He seemed unmoved by the shock in her voice. He pitched himself forward and crooked a finger at her. She leaned in close, their lips a hairsbreadth apart. He kept his voice low. “You heard me just fine. It’s a clean, private, one-person bathroom with a lock. Take the panties off, put them in your purse, and then slide your fingers into your pussy until you’re good and wet for me. I want you slick and ready. Once you’ve done that, you can come back out here and finish your dinner.”
She blinked. “You’re serious.”
He pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. “You have five minutes, gorgeous.”
Her face had to be red as a tomato. Hopefully, the other patrons in the restaurant would just assume she’d eaten too much green salsa. She’d been down with playing submissive at The Ranch where that kind of thing happened. But here? Now? “Pike, I—”
“Just don’t think too hard about it,” he said, his tone like a caress and his hand coasting over her knee beneath the table. “Trust that I won’t put you in a situation that would compromise your reputation or hurt you. You’ll be safe with me. You have my word.”
She rubbed her lips together, his promise resonating. She hadn’t known Pike for long, but all her instincts told her that he was telling the truth, that he wouldn’t do anything to put her at risk, and that his word meant something. She nodded and pushed back from the table. “Okay.”
The desire that sparked in his eyes when he saw that she was complying nearly had her stumbling in her heels as she stood. Prickling awareness tracked over her body as his gaze dragged along every inch of her.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said, managing to keep her voice steady.
He lifted his hand and wiggled four fingers. “You’re down to four minutes. Don’t make me wait longer than that. Can’t have our food getting cold.”
The sexy half-smile he gave her nearly undid her. Despite the shift in his tone, the playfulness she loved about him danced in his eyes. She had a feeling with that smile, he wouldn’t have a hard time getting her to do most anything.