He was married, and had a child. She had to accept that. That was a sacred thing. He was taken.
The idea of it hurt her more than anything else, but she just had to accept it. It was a bond of marriage, and regardless of what might happen in the future, she could not interfere. She would have to let him go.
If that was the case, then what was the point of her coming back in time? Was it really to find her father, as that priest had said? Was Caleb just the lure to lead her down that path?
Or was her destiny to be with Blake instead? Was that the whole reason she had come back?
Was that fate’s way of winking at her?
On the one hand, since Caleb was taken, there was nothing wrong, she realized, in being with Blake. But a huge part of her still loved Caleb, still longed for him. The idea of being with Blake still, somehow, despite everything, felt disloyal. Disloyal to who? she wondered.
Why had it never entered her mind that things could go so wrong? She had imagined that possibly she could never find Caleb. But she had never imagined that something even worse could happen: that she could find him, and that he could be with someone else. And not even remember her. It was the worst thing she could possibly imagine. She should have foreseen it. But if she had, would she have done anything differently?
Dawn was breaking fully on the horizon now, shades of red and orange and pink flooding the sky, lighting up the lagoon and the water. She had been awake all night long, she realized, and now the world was beginning anew again.
She saw the island on the horizon, and knew she would be there shortly.
But a part of her wished she wouldn’t. A part of her wished their boat would just keep going, and fall off the face of the earth.
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CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Caitlin ran. The sun was high overhead as she ran through a field of flowers, thousands of roses, impossibly tall, reaching up to her waist. They were all different colors, red and pink and white and yellow, and they brushed against her softly as she ran. Amazingly, they had no thorns, and the feel of the flowers was smooth on her legs, as their smell filled the air.
On the horizon stood her father, taller than ever, closer than she could remember. She could almost make out his facial features, and as she ran, she felt as if she were about to reach him.
But as she looked down, the field of flowers disappeared, and was replaced by a small, golden bridge. Her father, too, was gone, and on the horizon sat a city, with low buildings, all with red tile roofs. The small, golden bridge went up in an arch and came down the other side.
She ran across it, and underneath her, she saw the crystal clear water, glowing blue. She crossed the bridge, about to enter the city, and her father appeared again, at the entrance to the city gates. He stood just on the other side, and as she ran for him, there suddenly appeared two immense doors, freestanding, in the middle of the street, blocking her way.
She knew she could not get around them. They were tall, three times her height, and as she stopped before them, she was amazed to see that they were made of solid gold. They were intricately carved with the most beautiful figures, figures she could not understand. She knew that her father was behind them, on just the other side. She knew that if she could just open the doors, she could reach him, that he was waiting to embrace her.
She searched everywhere, but found no handle. So instead, she reached up, and ran her fingers along the carved, golden figures. She felt the smooth shapes and contours, was amazed at their depth of detail. It was like a piece of artwork.
“Caitlin,” came the voice. She knew that it was the voice of her father. It was a deep, soft, relaxing voice. She craved to hear it again.
“I am waiting for you,” he said. “Open the door.”
“I can’t!” she cried frantically.
“Caitlin!”
Caitlin opened her eyes and saw Polly standing over her, shaking her.
Caitlin woke up, disoriented. Had it been her father’s voice? Or Polly’s?
She sat up and looked all about the room, looking for her father. But it was just another dream.
It had been so vivid, like a meeting.
She sat up, rubbing her eyes, and squinted against the harsh sunlight streaking into the room.
Daytime. She tried to remember. When had she fallen asleep? Had she been sleeping all day?
Rose came up and licked her face.
“What time is it?” Caitlin asked, groggily.
“It’s late in the afternoon,” Polly said, “you’ve been sleeping all day. I didn’t want to wake you. I let you sleep as long as I could. But now, most the day’s passed, so I figured it’s ok. You’ve slept enough, right? I’m just dying to talk to you. How did everything go last night? What happened? Why didn’t you come back with me? Did Blake bring you back? How was your time with him?”
As always, Polly fired question after question, barely giving Caitlin a chance to think. She didn’t know which question to answer first.
“I didn’t come back with him,” she said. “I came back alone. I hired a boat to take me back.”
Polly’s eyes opened wide in anger.
“What happened?” Her expression darkened. “If he abandoned you there, I’ll kill him—”
“No, no,” Caitlin said, “it’s nothing like that. He wanted to bring me back. I asked him not to.”
“Why?” Polly’s expression changed again. “Oh, I see,” she said. “Things didn’t go so well? You don’t like him? Why, what did he say? What happened!?”
“No, it’s nothing like that either,” Caitlin said.
She got up, stretching her legs, needing to breathe a bit, to process it all. She wanted to answer Polly, but she barely knew the answers herself.
“I guess I just…needed time,” she said. “To think it all over, you know? I actually…I…ran into someone else last night…someone I used to know.”
Polly hesitated. “That…Caleb person you were talking about?”
Caitlin looked away, her heart pulling at even the sound of Caleb’s name.
“Yes,” Caitlin answered, finally.
“So? What happened?”
Caitlin thought. What did happen? She still could hardly believe it all. That Caleb did not remember her. It felt like she’d been stabbed in the heart. And seeing him together with Sera, so happy….It was more than she could handle.
“Things…I guess…just didn’t turn out as I expected,” Caitlin said.
“So? What about Blake? What’s wrong with him? You guys seemed to dance so well together.”
Caitlin tried to think. Blake was amazing. There was no doubt about that. And her feelings for him—they were very real. Why had it all had to happen at once? She felt so torn, so conflicted. She knew, intellectually, that Caleb was taken, and that it wasn’t healthy to dwell on him anymore. But at the same time, to be with Blake, right now, so fast, at this moment…it just felt too soon.
“There’s nothing wrong with him,” Caitlin said. “I just… I don’t know. I guess I just haven’t figured it all out yet.”
Polly nodded. “I hear you there,” she said. “Guys are impossible.” She sighed. “Anyway, sorry for all the questions. I was just really curious. I missed you. You have a way of growing on people.
Not to mention, it’s almost dinner time. And someone very importa
nt wants to see you.”
Caitlin wracked her brain. Who could that possibly be?
“Aiden,” Polly said. “He asked me to summon you.”
*
Caitlin walked down the outer corridor of the cloister, past column after column, through the low, arched ceilings along the inner courtyard. All throughout the courtyard she could see her fellow coven members training, heard the click-clack of their swords, as they relentlessly sparred with each other. It made her think back to Pollepel, made her realize that nothing really changes over the centuries.
Caitlin continued, heading towards the main church of San Michele, where Polly told her she’d find Aiden.
Aiden. She was excited to see him again, another link to her past, and yet nervous at the same time. Would he remember her? It seemed that some people, like Caleb and Polly, didn’t, while others, like Blake, did—or at least somewhat. What about Aiden? He seemed to see more than most, both in the past and the future. She had a feeling that if anyone would remember her, it would be him.
As always, her meeting with Aiden seemed to come at an opportune moment. She herself was brimming with so many questions left unanswered, felt so much at a crossroads. She couldn’t stop thinking of her morning’s dream, of her father, of those huge golden doors. She wondered what it meant. She felt, more than ever, that there was a mission burning inside of her, and that she needed to be on it. But she didn’t know exactly what it was, or where to go. Should she give up on Caleb altogether? Should she be looking for her father? If so, where? And what about Blake?
Was her journey back in time a huge mistake?
Or was it all for a reason?
She felt that if anyone knew the answers, Aiden would.
Caitlin opened the door to the ancient church, and walked inside.
It was completely empty, save for one person, kneeling at the far end of the room, before the altar. Caitlin did not need to go any further to know who it was. Aiden.
She walked down the center of the long aisle, her footsteps echoing.
She stopped a few feet behind him. He knelt there, his back to her, hands raised, apparently in prayer. He was so motionless, so still, she wondered if he was even alive. Before him, at the altar, was a huge cross.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, just before she was about to say his name, he spoke:
“Caitlin,” he said.
It was a statement, not a question. As always, he managed to make even the simplest thing mysterious.
“I’m glad to see you again,” he added.
As always, it seemed like everything he said could be interpreted many ways. Did that mean that he remembered her?
Caitlin was unsure how to respond.
Finally, he rose to his feet, turned and looked at her. His eyes shone an intense, light blue, and seemed to look right through her. He still had long silver hair and a silver beard to match, and he looked exactly as he had on Pollepel. It was incredible. He seemed like he hadn’t aged at all.
“Thank you for taking me back in,” Caitlin said. And then, added: “Again.”
Aiden broke into a small smile. “This isn’t quite Pollepel, is it?”
Caitlin’s heart soared. So. He did remember. Did that mean he remembered everything?
“What do you think?” he said, in response to her thoughts.
Then: “Follow me.”
*
Caitlin and Aiden walked slowly, side-by-side, along the outskirts of the island, right along the water’s edge. Caitlin was struck by the tranquility and beauty of the place. The island was covered in a lush, green grass, dotted with Italian Cypress trees, and, in the distance, lined with small cemeteries. Water was visible from everywhere.
They walked slowly in the silence. Caitlin began to wonder if Aiden would ever talk.
Finally, she could take it no longer. She had so many burning questions she needed to ask.
“How much do you remember?”
“Remember is a funny word,” he said. “It’s more like…seeing what might have been.”
Caitlin was alarmed by his choice of words. “Might have been?” she asked.
“When you travel backwards, you of course affect your future. Everything is connected. Your future, after all, is only the sum of your past. Whatever you are doing now, your actions last night, this conversation we’re having—all of your actions in this time and place—will change the future you would have had. It is all a chain of events. Alter one link in the chain, and the entire chain alters with it. You’re changing your future right now, by being here. And you will continue to change it, with every choice that you make.”
He turned and looked at her.
“The consequences are infinite. You are not just affecting this time. You are affecting all times to come.”
Caitlin’s mind reeled with the implications. She felt scared to say anything, to do anything; she felt burdened. Had she made a mistake to come back here? Then again, what choice had she had?
To just let Caleb die?
“I’m so confused,” she said. “I don’t know why I’m here anymore. At first, I thought it was for Caleb. It was for Caleb. I wanted to save him. I wanted to be with him. But now…he’s with someone else.”
Aiden sighed. “Time is a tricky thing, isn’t it? You want things to be exactly as they were. But they never are.”
“Then tell me,” she said. “Why am I here?”
“That is something you will need to find out for yourself.”
“But is there a reason? A point to all of this?” she pressed.
“There is always a reason. You look through a too-narrow lens. What you still fail to see is that Caleb is just one piece of a very large and complex puzzle. He was the driving force that brought you back, yes. But perhaps he led you back in time for another reason. You assume you brought him back in time. But perhaps all the while, he was leading you.”
Caitlin’s mind reeled.
“You do have a mission, don’t you?”
Caitlin stared, and suddenly her dream came back to her.
“I dreamt this morning of my father,” she said. “The same dream I always have, but this time, I saw these golden doors. They were so tall, so beautiful. I tried to open them, but I couldn’t. I knew that if I could just open them, I would reach him.”
“And what did these doors look like?” he asked.
“They were gold, and they had these carvings all over them.”
“Scenes from the Bible?” he asked.
As he said it, Caitlin suddenly realized he was right.
“Yes,” she said, excited. “How did you know? Do you know these doors? What does it mean?”
“It’s meaning is for you to find out,” he said. “Those doors you describe, they exist in but one place in the world. Florence.”
Florence. Caitlin remembered the priest’s words: you will find your father in Florence.
“Your father has sent you a message. He wants you to find him there.”
Caitlin thought hard. Had she failed in not going there right away? Should she have avoided Venice to begin with?
“Caitlin, you hail from a special lineage. It is not too much to say that the fate of the entire vampire and human races rests in your hands. And yet, you have not fully chosen to embrace your mission. Instead, you chase past lovers. You still follow your heart. As you knew from the start, your mission begins in Florence. It is time for you to embrace your responsibilities. You must lead us to the shield. And find your true father.”
“But I don’t know how to do that,” she pleaded.
“Yes you do,” he answered. “You already have the meaning in your dream.”
She looked at him. Florence. Those doors. At that moment, she knew that was where she needed to go.
The sky suddenly darkened, and a strong wind picked up, blowing his hair, and his eyes shone with more intensity than ever.
“You cannot escape your destiny.”
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CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Caitlin stood by herself on the end of the gondola, rowing it across the wide canal of Venice.
Polly was worried for her to go by herself, but after much pleading, she had let her borrow her boat.
Caitlin felt that she could handle it, and she really needed to be alone. She needed time and space to think. And most importantly, in the place where she was going, she didn’t want anyone by her side.
It was a place she had to go alone. Rose was the only one she took; she sat at her legs appreciatively, happy, as always to be at her side.
After her meeting with Aiden, Caitlin had realized that he was right. She had to fulfill her mission. She had to at least to try, to get on the road, to follow the clues, to see where it led her.
But at the same time, she realized that she could not embark without closure with Caleb. She needed to know with absolute certainty that he truly didn’t remember, that he truly didn’t love her, that he was truly happy with Sera. After all she had been through, after all that they had been through together, she just had to know. Last night, everything had happened so quickly, perhaps he had just momentarily forgotten. Now, the following day, perhaps things would be different. Perhaps it had all come flooding back to him in the middle of the night.