***
The road into Ruthin town centre was thankfully quiet and free of witches. It was no more than two miles’ walk and the group were making good progress, even bearing in mind Half-blind Ron’s protestations about not having breakfast yet. ‘Look, we’ll grab some chicken as soon as we get into town,’ Theo said to him. ‘We’re all hungry, Ron.’
‘Well we better. I can’t be fighting and scratching on an empty tummy.’
The tranquil surroundings and the pleasant chirruping of birds provided some welcome peace of mind, and Theo knew that whatever lay ahead for the rest of the day was unlikely to offer similar opportunities for reflection. Cracky obviously had a plan as to how they were going to enter the palace, although finding the Queen whilst eluding the guards was going to be another matter entirely. Humphrey had said that the best ideas just appear in one’s head, as if magically deposited by some unseen guiding force, and Theo hoped that Humphrey’s undoubted genius was going to be correct. For all Half-blind Ron’s bravado about scratching and fighting, the six of them were not likely to be able to battle their way to Ophelia, rescue her and then battle their way out. No, this operation would be won with brains more than brawn, although Theo felt that it may end up being a mixture of both.
As Humphrey chatted happily with Half-blind Ron and Captain Marmaduke explained cat military tactics to Oriana, Theo remembered the conversation that had taken place between Blacktie and Cracky, outside of the Diner. Although Cracky was reluctant to talk about it then, Theo decided he would bring the subject up when the time felt right.
‘Cracky, I’ve been meaning to ask you about the little verbal spat you had with Blacktie. You said it was a story for another time; is now perhaps that time?’
Cracky sighed and rubbed his long beard, before smiling. ‘Ah, yes, I was wondering when you’d get around to asking me about that. Believe it or not, we met at school.’
‘School?’ Theo said, with astonishment.
‘Yes, it was just before my father passed away,’ Cracky continued. ‘Blacktie’s parents were keen that he should receive some “normal” education, so they paid for him to attend one class a week at my school. That class just happened to be History, and it just so happened to be one of the subjects I was taking. We were both sixteen at the time.’
‘What was he like?’ Theo asked.
‘He was as arrogant and unpleasant as he is now, and he was a bully.’
‘Did he bully you, then?’
‘No, I was one of the taller boys; he’d always look to prey on the weak and vulnerable, so not much has changed there. Given his wealth and influence, he quickly amassed a gang of boys eager to be seen in his company. He was a typical coward, really. Physical combat wasn’t his thing, so he always made sure he had a couple of chaps with him for protection. One particular day, he made the mistake of picking on one of my friends as I happened to be passing by. It was a boy called Phil Twizzlewizzle, whose father owned a sweet shop. Unbeknown to me, Blacktie and two of his henchmen had been getting poor Phil to steal sweets from his father’s shop for them.’
‘What did you do?’
‘Well, they had him pinned up against a wall so I intervened, shall we say,’ Cracky said.
‘What do you mean, “intervened”?’
‘Er, you have to understand I was going through some strange days back then. I was growing up fast and, ahem, odd things used to happen when I was around. I’ve not used magic for a long time now, mainly because I’m not very good at it, but when I was younger things would just happen. I really didn’t have any control at all.’
‘Go on,’ Theo said.
‘Well, I was very angry and wanted to turn the two ruffians with Blacktie into toads, only temporarily of course, just to teach them a lesson. The problem was that I was at that age when I used to spend a lot of time thinking about girls, if you know what I mean. So let’s just say things didn’t quite go to plan.’
‘What did you turn them into, then?’
‘I didn’t turn them into anything, but they both ended up with a lovely pair of breasts.’
Theo chortled in his mind at the image. ‘That’s wonderful, Cracky. What did they do?’
‘Oh, they ran off in terror… although I was told that after a week or so they got quite fond of them!’
‘A week! How long did they stay like that for?’
‘I think it was about two months in the end, I really can’t recall.’ Cracky said, laughing.
‘So what magic did you use on Blacktie?’
‘I didn’t. I simply gave him a bloody nose. The snivelling little weasel cried all the way home, and he never bothered Phil again. However, he did swear he’d get his revenge… and he did, unfortunately.’
Cracky’s eyes became distant, with past memories making a painful return to his mind, and Theo could sense his discomfort. ‘Look, you don’t have to tell me the rest if you do not wish to.’
‘No, it will probably do me good to talk about it,’ Cracky replied.
He composed himself and took a deep breath before continuing. ‘It was the day of my father’s funeral. I was distraught, but I was equally concerned for my mother, so I was trying to put on a brave face. The procession went through the entire town and the turnout of people was quite extraordinary. He was a very popular and much loved man. Anyway, as the procession reached the church on the outskirts of town, I caught sight of Blacktie and about four or five other boys. They were waiting by the church gates and I just had a feeling they were up to no good. As we got nearer, Blacktie shouted “now” and we were pelted with water bombs.’
‘That’s awful,’ Theo said.
‘Indeed. But the worst was that one hit my mother square in the face. Well, I just lost it at that point.’
‘I can imagine.’
‘So, I flew towards them and they scattered, but I was only interested in getting hold of Blacktie, and let’s just say he wasn’t the fastest. I caught up with him at the side of the church and pushed him against the wall. He was smiling. So, I looked at him and began to gather my will. The more he looked into my eyes, the less he smiled. I was about to destroy him utterly, and I knew I could have done it. I saw his smiling eyes descend into fear. He became just a scared little boy who knew he’d done something very bad and was about to get punished… more than punished. Anyway, that’s when I felt the blow to the back of my head. His friends had come to his aid and ambushed me. I received several kicks and punches before they all ran off again, laughing… except for Blacktie. He looked back once, but he didn’t join in the laughter.’
The two walked silently for the next minute or so, Cracky lost in his thoughts and Theo coming to terms with the story. Eventually the Prince broke the silence.
‘So did you ever meet him again?’
‘Only once; but by that time he was already a Baron and had a vast entourage of people with him. It was many years after the event, at a fair in Mold. Not surprisingly, he never returned to my school.’
‘Did he speak to you?’
‘Oh, yes. He asked how I was, but he never mentioned my mother. He was full of himself again by this time and he knew I was powerless to enact any kind of revenge. Back then, though, I think I’d have settled for a simple apology, but I don’t believe it ever crossed his mind. Now it’s gone beyond that.’
‘So even if he apologised now, you wouldn’t accept it?’
‘Oh, I’d accept it alright… and then I’d set fire to his testicles.’
‘Look,’ Captain Marmaduke said, suddenly. ‘There’s a taxi coming towards us.’
Sacred Wind: Book 3 - Preview
* You’ll cheer on the Companionship in their game of charades
* You’ll actually be very glad to see Traffic Wardens
* You’ll feel sad as a hero passes from this world to the next
* You’ll cheer as the Companionship enter Chester, but cry at a noble sacrifice
* Baron Blacktie will really start to get on your nerve
s
* You’ll want to singalong at the Cestrian Music Tournament
* You’ll be on the edge of your seats as the battle begins
* You’ll fall in love with a Troll
* You’ll gnash your teeth at the Knights of Flatulence
* And you’ll witness the stunning conclusion to our story…
All this and more awaits you in… Sacred Wind: Book 3.
Thank you for reading my book. If you enjoyed it, please take a moment to leave me a review at your favorite retailer?
May Odin bless your wind!
Andy Coffey
About the Author – by Oldfart Olafson
Andy Coffey has been called many things; short, bald, barking mad, cute, a creative genius (… actually, I think he calls himself that). But, it is true to say that without Andy, Sacred Wind may never have made it into your particular reality. And we thank him for that.
After a brief foray into music journalism, and an attempt at rock superstardom in the late eighties, Andy eventually carved out a successful career in something called 'IT' for the best part of twenty years, attaining a Senior Management position in a company dealing with software production and IT service management. He tells me that he was a bit of a guru, by all accounts.
However, the music bug never really left him, and in fact he recorded two albums with his band, 'The Quest', in the nineties (he tells me that the second one was really good). Oh, he plays drums, and apparently his drum kit is nearly as big as Agnar's.
He also developed an interest in music technology and composition. This initially caused him some confusion as he had to learn to play keyboards, discovering that hitting them with drumsticks didn't really achieve the desired results… and was more expensive.
We first managed to cross the dimensional barrier to communicate with Andy about Sacred Wind in late 2010 (your time). Having voices in his head was a bit of a shock for him at first, but he soon got used to it. So, after working with him closely for over two years, he's now produced the Sacred Wind books and debut album, for reading and listening pleasure in your reality.
He lives with his partner, Jo, and their cat (Theo) in a little town called Frodsham, in the UK. Apparently they can fart whenever and wherever they like. He has a son, Adam; a step-daughter, Zoë, and a step-son, Johnny.
He's a good lad but he needs a bigger weapon… (that pocket knife will never do).
Yours fartily,
Oldfart Olafson (Manager - Sacred Wind)
Other books by Andy Coffey
Sacred Wind: Book 1
Sacred Wind: Book 3
Sacred Wind: The Complete Trilogy
Sacred Wind: The Appendices
Sacred Wind: Songbook
Sacred Wind – The Album
Possibly the finest debut album by a Welsh Viking Flatulence Rock band from an alternative reality… Available at all good download stores!
www.sacredwind.co.uk
Contact Sacred Wind
Web: https://www.sacredwind.co.uk/
Email:
[email protected] Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sacred-Wind/136135083263791
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SacredWindBand
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud/sacredwind
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