Chapter 10
Two nights later I dreamt of my mom.
I’d rarely thought about her, forcing my mind to stay in the present. It was too hard to remember, what little memories I held. So the dream was surprising, to say the least. The images that flashed through my mind once I closed my eyes were odd, swirling images of color and emotions that made no sense. Images that confused me. That made me nervous.
The dream started like my meditation exercise and for a moment I thought I was back in Aaron’s study. I was sitting on the beach, the sky an odd, hazy gray and orange, as if the sun was setting. The waves roared in, the tide rising, water tickling my bare toes, but I wasn’t worried. I was calm, relaxed. I wore a long, blue sundress that wavered on the warm breeze. Sea gulls cried overhead, hovering on the wind. I was alone, but I wasn’t afraid.
I glanced away from the softly roaring waves to the sky, brilliant, bright, too bright. Warmth came from not only above, but also to my right. Two suns, one at the top of the sky, the other a fiery ball on the horizon. How odd. I didn’t have too much time to think on it before I felt a presence next to me. A shiver over my skin that told me I was no longer alone. My father, I assumed, for he was the one who had come to me first in my meditation. I turned, looking for the intruder. From the gray haze a form stepped closer.
But no. Not Dad.
A woman wearing a long sundress like me. She was a shadow against the brilliant sun. Unidentifiable, but somehow familiar. Slowly, she started toward me. Her long, dark hair fluttered in the wind. I didn’t recognize her immediately, my mind was oddly numb. But the moment she settled beside me, everything fell into place. The familiarity of those full, smiling lips, that pert nose, those large eyes. My mom was beautiful. She was young. As young as she’d been the last time I’d seen her, twelve years ago. I knew she must have aged and I knew she wouldn’t be here now. And so I realized she wasn’t real.
“I missed you.” She settled beside me, so close I could see the silver flecks in her blue eyes. So close I could smell the vanilla scent that was only hers. She wasn’t real, but my heart didn’t realize that. Emotions welled within, a lump that settled painfully in my chest.
“Mom?” I was too confused by her sudden appearance to be surprised. “Why are you here?”
She studied my face, as if trying to memorize every detail. “Because I’ve missed you.”
I wanted to believe her, but couldn’t. No, I wouldn’t let her break my heart again. “But you’ve never even called.”
Her smile fell. “I couldn’t find you, until now.”
My mind spun with confusion. I wasn’t sure where I was, even who I was. I wasn’t sure if I could believe her. “You know…” I looked around the beach. “I’m here?”
She nodded, smiling again. “I’ve been looking for you, Cameron. I’ve been searching for you for so many years.”
I shook my head. I wouldn’t let her make me care. I wouldn’t let her break my heart again. “No, no you left me.”
“I did, but it wasn’t supposed to be forever.” Only sincerity shone on her face. She was tan and healthy, she’d been pale and sickly looking before. How weird.
I wanted to believe her. My heart so badly wanted to believe her, but I knew I couldn’t trust her. Grandma had told me that Mom was a druggie. Drug addicts couldn’t be trusted. She would never come back for me. I had to let her go.
“No,” I whispered. “You can’t do this to me. You can’t make me care again.” I turned away from her and stumbled to my feet. Tears stung my eyes. I wouldn’t look back. She wasn’t real. I started down the beach, my feet sinking into the sand. I was barely aware of the sea gulls squawking their protest as I rushed through their flock.
“Just a dream,” I whispered. “I’m imagining this. It can’t be real.”
“Cameron!”
I froze, even as my mind told me to keep going, my body wouldn’t listen.
“This time it’s different.”
I didn’t want to believe her, yet I turned, facing her. “How?”
“I’m coming for you, I promise.”
I tried to pay attention to her words, but sand was falling down around my ankles. I was sinking. “How strange.”
Sand, warmed from the sunlight, fell and pattered against my legs… faster, higher the sand grew. Confused, I looked up, searching for my mom. Fog was rolling in off the ocean, my mom a mere shadow some distance away.
“Cameron, I will come for you.”
“Mom?” But she was fading… fading into the fog and the sand was pouring around me, the mound growing higher… higher… to my knees. I shifted, trying to move. The sand was too thick, too heavy. Panic tightened in my chest. “Mom!”
The sand came higher, up to my thighs, those little crystals falling and rolling over themselves as they tumbled down around me. I was sinking…sinking. “Please! Someone help me!”
The only response was the sharp cry of the gulls overhead.
I reached out, searching for something… anything to grab onto. The sand rose to my chest. I reached out, clawing at the tiny particles. It was coming higher… higher…
“Please!”
I jerked awake, my entire body jumping on the soft bed. My frantic gaze darted around the dark space as my mind tried to accept the fact that I wasn’t being buried alive. The room. I was in my new room. I covered my face with my trembling hands.
My breathing was harsh in the quiet, dark room. It took a moment for my confused brain to work again. Even longer for my heart to stop its mad race.
“Just a dream,” I whispered to no one, because no one was here. Not Grandma. Not my dad. Certainly not my mom. How I wished Lewis would hear my silent cry and come for me. But it would be ridiculous to go to him now and wake him because I’d had a nightmare.
I pushed aside the down comforter and settled my feet in the plush carpeting. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t stand. My body was trembling too badly, sweat made my t-shirt cling to my back. Why, after all these years, had I dreamt about my mom? What had the dream meant? Was it just some weird, random scene, or had it been something else… a warning?
But it wasn’t real. It wasn’t a warning. It was just my messed up head trying to come to terms with the fact that my life was changing dramatically. And yeah, sure, I was a little nervous. After all, I didn’t really know Aaron or Lewis all that well and I was in an unfamiliar house. I’m sure it was totally normal to have a nightmare.
My body stopped shaking enough that I managed to stand. The silence of the place had comforted me when I’d first arrived, now it seemed spooky. This huge mansion with the many, many rooms that held who knew what. I grabbed my robe and shoved my arms through the sleeves. The worn cotton offered some warmth. Not that the room was cold. No, but my insides were chilled.
The window panes rattled, the wind fierce tonight. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table.
3 a.m.
Sleep felt as far away as my Mom. I raked my hands through my hair and started toward the bathroom door. The creepy sound of wind whistling through the trees raised the fine hairs on my body and reminded me of the cry of the gulls in my dream. I reached for the bathroom door when I realized the sound wasn’t coming from outside, but from my bedroom door. I froze, confused.
Not a whistling, but something high-pitched. A cry. I tightened the belt on my robe and made my way to the door, opening it cautiously. Silence. Had I imagined it?
I stepped into the hall. The sconces that were attached to the walls of the corridor gave the hall a soft glow, just enough light to see.
There it was again!
A high-pitched cry, like the tearing of a soul. I turned right and started down the hall, following the sound. My heart hammered madly, the suspense too much after having had the nightmare. Not the cry of pain, no, the cry of sorrow. A child, crying. My steps hurried, my pulse thundering. I knew there were other children here, but this cry sounded young. Too young.
r /> I turned a corner and stopped short. There, only five feet from me, huddled a small child. He wore pajamas with some sort of super hero on them. His scrawny legs were tucked to his chest, his back to the wall.
“Are you…are you okay?”
His little shoulders stiffened, but he didn’t lift his head.
“Are you… lost?” Okay, it was a stupid question. The kid obviously lived here, where as I had just arrived. He probably knew the place better than I knew my cottage back home. “You want me to get Aaron?”
He lifted his head, his brown eyes wide and shimmering with tears. “No,” he whispered.
“Sam,” someone called from the shadows.
A blonde girl stepped into the light, her white nightgown practically glowing like a ghost. The girl I’d seen from my window the morning after I’d arrived. She reached out and the boy rushed to her side, taking her hand and obviously taking comfort in her presence.
“You’re supposed to be in the dorm room,” she whispered.
She was only a few inches taller than him, but seemed older. As one, they lifted their heads to look at me and I realized I was staring, my mouth hanging open like an idiot. Immediately, I reached out with my mind, trying to read their thoughts. Nothing. They’d obviously been taught to block them.
They didn’t look afraid, but they did seem confused as to how I had gotten there. I was an adult. Well, would be in less than a year according to law, I should say something to make them feel better. “Are you… okay?”
She looked at me for a moment, as if judging my worth. Finally, she nodded. “We’re fine.” She turned, taking the boy with her, a little mother hen. “You need to go back to bed.”
It took a moment for me to realize she was actually talking to me. “Wait!” I started after them.
The girl paused. “Go, Sam.” She pushed him gently, until he scurried into the shadows toward the direction where she’d appeared.
“Why was he crying?”
She shifted, clutching her small hands together in front of her and looking completely uneasy. “Homesick, is all.” She turned and started after the boy.
Homesick? “But, wait!” She was gone, fading into the darkness. After a few moments her soft footsteps quieted and silence settled in the hall. If he was homesick, why not go home?
“Cameron?”
Startled, I spun around. Lewis stood there looking as confused as I felt. So close I could feel the warmth of his body. His hair was mussed, his eyes half-closed. He wore only athletic shorts, no shirt or shoes and had obviously come from bed.
“Did I wake you?” I asked, embarrassed to be caught, although, why I wasn’t sure.
His gaze shifted from me to the dark hall behind me where the girl and Sam had disappeared. “What’s wrong?”
Flustered, I wasn’t sure how to explain. “Crying,” I said, raking my hands through my hair, hoping I didn’t look a total mess. “There was a little boy crying.”
He frowned and reached out, taking my hand. “They do, sometimes.”
I allowed him to lead me back toward my room. “But why?”
He shrugged. “They’re sad; they miss their families.”
I pulled away from him, too upset to take comfort in his touch. “Are you saying their families are… dead?”
“Some.” We paused outside my door. Lewis leaned against the wall. “Some just don’t want them because of what they can do.”
The words hit home, pierced my chest.
“What is it?” He cupped the side of my face, forcing me to look at him. He had a shadow of whiskers on his cheeks. It made him look older, rugged. Gorgeous.
“Nothing.” I forced myself to smile. “I’m being silly.”
“Tell me.” His palm was warm. So warm, so comforting. He shifted so his body was closer to mine. How I wanted to sink into him!
“It’s just… I understand. My mom didn’t exactly want me.” My mom, and there she was again, hovering on the edges of my world.
His blue gaze grew soft. He grasped my shoulders and pulled me against his warm body. Tossing my nerves aside, I wrapped my arms around his waist and allowed him to hug me tight.
“You don’t have to worry about that anymore,” he said. “I want you here. We want you here. You’re home Cameron. Exactly where you belong.”