CHAPTER 10
Charlee’s Adventure Begins
Charlee’s escort was an ostrich who pulled her along in a chariot. There was a mountain range in the distance that the ostrich ran toward. It took them about forty-five minutes to get there.
They slowed as they approached the base of one of the mountains. Charlee could see a narrow pass that was maybe fifteen feet wide. About sixty feet inside the pass, two knights in dull armor were holding axes-on-sticks, standing in front of a solid iron gate. Their helmets each had pink, furry bunny ears sticking out the top. A pink bunny stood at the feet of each knight.
The ostrich stopped when they were next to the pass, out of sight of the bunnies and knights, then asked Charlee to get out of the chariot.
After Charlee stepped onto the ground, she gazed up at the steep walls of the mountain. “Very pretty,” she said.
The ostrich, who was female, turned to face Charlee, then said, “Yes, the Bunny Mountains are very beautiful, but they are also a barrier that keeps all outsiders out. The mountains form a circle all the way around the Valley of the Pink Bunnies. There is only one way in or out, and the bunnies will only allow other bunnies to come or go.”
Charlee bit her lip worriedly. “You mean you’re not coming with me?”
“No, I’m not. I’m only supposed to take you here and give you all the information you need to fulfill your quest. Then I will wait here if—for you to return.”
“Don’t you mean if I return?”
The ostrich shook her head. “I’m sure you will return. After all, you are one of the ~*ChoSeN oneS*~ and this is a matter of destiny.”
Charlee scowled. “I don’t mean to offend you, but I think you might be sticking your head in the sand. I’m not your great epic hero who’s come to your land to save Easter. As a matter of fact, I hate Easter! I’ve had bad experiences with it. I’m not even sure if I want Easter to continue, to be honest. I’m not so sure about how great the Easter Bunny is, either… If the toad or egg want to take over, why should I care?”
The ostrich said, “Listen, I know the Easter Bunny very well, and he’s a really great guy, and he really should be running Easter, so you just have to win.”
“But I hate Easter! I don’t want anything to do with it!”
The ostrich thought for a moment, then she said, “Well, you could always sign over your responsibilities…if you win.”
“Yeah, tell me more about that.”
“There is a clause in the contest rules. If you win, you can sign a document to give up all the responsibilities. They would all go to the Easter Bunny. You could go home and not have to worry about anything. No strings attached.”
Charlee’s ears perked up. “Maybe I should do that.”
The ostrich nodded. “The Easter Bunny told me he thinks you should really do that too, so you could go on with your regular life and not have to worry about Easter ever again. It would go on the same as always. No one would know the difference.”
Charlee was mulling it over. “Yeah…”
“And all the children wouldn’t have to be disappointed. Lots of people love Easter, even though you may hate it.”
Charlee felt ashamed and lowered her head. “Yeah, I used to love Easter too. It wouldn’t be the same with a toad or gummi egg, I guess.”
“Yes, the Easter Bunny has to keep delivering the eggs.”
Charlee suddenly thought of something. “Okay, I have a question. I remember Princess Megan saying that the Chosen One who wins will get certain abilities. If they sign the paper, what happens to those?”
The ostrich hesitated a moment, then said, “Well, if you signed, they would go over to the Easter Bunny.”
“What about the, um, political powers?”
“They would go to him too, but don’t worry, the Easter Bunny’s a good guy. He wouldn’t abuse the powers. And besides, you definitely wouldn’t want them going to the toad or Gumpty Dumpty. They’re really not as nice as they seem to be.”
Charlee nodded softly. She suddenly felt uncertain about the whole situation.
The ostrich said, “Now, about the Valley of the Pink Bunnies. They only let bunnies in and out and they’ve kept it secret about what goes on in there. The Easter Bunny used to go there all the time, but he doesn’t anymore. But he doesn’t reveal their secrets either, so I really can’t tell you what’s in the valley. I do know a few things, like that, due to magic, all pink bunnies are incapable of telling a lie, and I know that the boiled eggs for Easter come from one mountain in the valley.”
Charlee arched a brow. “What do you mean?”
“They call it Egg Mountain. Every year, before Easter, eggs roll down from it.”
“What do you mean? How can they roll down a whole mountain and not break?”
“Oh! I’ll explain it to you! See, there is a long chute that comes out of the mountain. The chute is exactly the right size for one egg, and it is tilted down ever-so-slightly. And one by one, eggs roll down the chute, and the chute goes round and round in spirals, and finally, the boiled eggs roll out of the bottom, outside the valley.”
Charlee suddenly understood. “Like a slide,” she said in amazement.
“Yes, but a lot more gradual.”
“And that’s where boiled Easter eggs come from?”
“Yes,” the ostrich replied.
“And who paints the eggs and stuff?”
“As far as I know, they come out already painted.”
Charlee nodded.
The ostrich nodded back. “So now I’ve told you all I really know. I’m going to tell you your missions now. You are supposed the find the jelly bean that the prophesy mentions, and bring it back. And you are supposed to find out what happened to the ancient boiled egg of Antiboli.”
“The egg that Princess Cinnamon was taking to the Dark Forest?”
“Yes. And each of your goals is worth two points.”
Charlee shook her head. “How am I supposed to do these things? Where do I begin? Do you have any hints or advice?”
The ostrich frowned. “I really wish I could help you, but that’s all I know. But you were chosen by destiny for your missions and I’m sure you’ll figure out what to do. As for where to begin, I suggest you start at the iron gate…”
Charlee felt a twinge of panic. “Will you walk with me to the gate?”
“No, I’m sorry. I don’t think that’s a good idea, because I’m not a bunny.”
“Neither am I…”
“You’re part bunny.”
Charlee looked worried.
In a reassuring voice, the ostrich said, “Just trust your instincts to guide you. You are one of the Chosen Ones and are specially suited for your quest. I’ll be waiting for you.”
Charlee nodded, then said, “Goodbye for now.”
The ostrich said “Goodbye” back, then Charlee rounded the corner. About sixty feet in front of her, the pink bunnies at the feet of the knights perked up. The knights stood perfectly still.
Charlee raised her arm, then waved and shouted, “Hellooooo!” Her voice echoed off the steep stone walls to each side of her.
She put on a warm smile as she began walking toward the bunnies. The gravel made crunchy noises beneath her feet.
The rabbits rushed behind the legs of the knights, then disappeared from her sight. The knights still hadn’t seemed to have moved at all. Then she suddenly remembered that all the humans in Easter Land were supposed to have killed each other off. Charlee wondered if there were even any people inside the suits of armor. Were they just scarecrows, meant to scare intruders off?
As she got closer, the knights started to vibrate and she could hear noises coming from them that sounded like running motors. Large plumes of black smoke began to rise up behind each knight.
She began to tremble, but she continued walking forward. After all, she was on a date with destiny.
The knights started moving around jerkily. Mostly they were raising and lowering their arms, and shifting thei
r feet a little. And there was something else weird about each twitching and vibrating knight (in addition to their bunny ears): they were damaged. The one on Charlee’s left had a large dent in the top of the helmet. The one on the right had a hole punched in the heart area. Behind the hole, metallic parts seemed to shift with the knight’s movements.
The closer she got, the more details she could see. She could now see that each knight had a potbelly! She’d never seen such a thing before. She’d never thought about knights being so fat that their armor had to be built to fit their poochy bellies, but then she figured it wasn’t so far-fetched. Obesity is an epidemic.
And there was something else odd about each knight’s tummy: each knight had two belly buttons—they were holes in the armor, and each knight had a left hole and a right hole.
Charlee stopped in front of the knights. She crinkled her nose at the smoke. She could also feel warm air flowing over her from the knights.
A muted voice shouted out, “Halt! Who goes there?” The male bunny voice seemed to be coming from the potbelly of the knight to her left.
Charlee looked down at the tummy. She could now see eyeballs peering up at her from the two holes! She bent down and peered inside. She smiled real big and in a sweet voice said, “Hi! My name is Charlee. Um, I’m one of the ~~ChoSen OnEs. Will you let me into the valley?” It looked to her like one of the pink bunnies was sitting inside that knight’s tummy.
The bunny’s eyes went wide, then it stared at the corruptagram hanging from Charlee’s neck.
The bunny exclaimed, “The Glaive!” then the suit of armor took a step back—Charlee jerked back in surprise as the suit of armor lifted its weapon threateningly.
The bunny in the other suit shouted, “The Glaive?” but the other suit of armor didn’t move—it just vibrated. Charlee looked over and could see that there was a metal box attached to the suit of armor’s back, with a smoke-spewing pipe coming out the top.
“Whoa, wait!” Charlee shouted. She bent over, then grabbed her pendant between her thumb and finger. “You mean this?” She looked into the bunny’s eyes inside the knight in front of her. She lowered her voice. “This is just my corruptagram pendant. It’s not the Glaive.”
The bunny replied, “So it’s not a massively powerful weapon that you throw?”
Charlee stood back up. “No. It’s just a necklace. I bought it in the mall.”
“Oh, it’s just a corruptagram? Well, why are you wearing a corruptagram? That’s the symbol for corruptamagic. Are you a witch?”
Charlee laughed and hoped her nervousness didn’t show. “No, I’m not a witch. I’m one of the Chosen Ones, and destiny brought me here. I’m supposed to enter the Valley of the Pink Bunnies and save Easter or something.”
The bunny replied in an irritated voice, “It’s not called the Valley of the Pink Bunnies. It’s called Pink Bunny Valley.” Then sarcastically, the bunny said, “If it was called the Valley of Bunnies, the mountains would be made out of bunnies, wouldn’t they?”
Charlee rolled her eyes and had to keep herself from snapping back at the bunny. “So, I’d like to have permission to enter the Pink Bunny Valley so I can fulfill my mission.”
“Well, nobody calls it Pink Bunny Valley either.”
“Oh?” she replied, trying to hide her irritation. She thought the bunny might just be toying with her—the bunny’s voice seemed to have a drunk with authority tone to it. She figured it was bound to happen when you give little furry animals the power to control a human-sized suit of armor.
The bunny explained, “We call it Pink Valley for short. It’s too tongue-twisting to always use the long version.”
Charlee sneered a little. “I noticed. So why don’t you call it Bunny Valley then?”
In an angry voice, the bunny replied, “Because we’re not just plain bunnies! We’re pink bunnies, you moron.”
“Okayyyy.” Charlee figured she should play nice if she wanted to be let in, so in a meek voice she said, “I’m sorry. Will you please let me into the Pink Valley?”
“Well, are you a bunny?”
Charlee wiggled her ears. “I’m part bunny…”
“Hmmm. What’s the other part?”
“Human. And my father is the Easter Bunny, if that helps.”
“It doesn’t,” the bunny replied angrily. “And I thought humans were supposed to be extinct, because of the Great War.”
“Well, my father…mated with a human from another realm.” She felt sickened by the idea.
“Oh wait, are you one of the special three mentioned in the prophesy poem?” The bunny seemed to fidget inside the suit of armor, though it was hard to tell.
“Why yes. You know the poem?”
“I’m asking the questions here.”
Charlee waited quietly, trying to look compliant.
The bunny said in an authoritarian voice, “And you say you’re a witch?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Ah, so you didn’t say it, even though you are?”
“No, I’m not a witch.”
The bunny seemed to think a moment, then asked, “Are you warlike?”
Charlee shook her head, then said, “Nope.” Her curiosity finally won out, so she asked, “Hey, is that where these suits of armor came from? From the Great War?”
“I’m asking the questions here, and, yes, they were taken from a battlefield and modified so they can be controlled from the cockpit. The wizard created them. They’re steam-magic hybrids.”
Charlee decided not to ask about the wizard. “Ah, I see. And what kind of engines you got in these babies?”
“Steam engines. They run on coal.”
“Nice. They seem very powerful.” She figured it might help to stroke the bunny’s power trip.
The bunny seemed spurred by the compliment to make his voice sound more powerful. “That’s right. You don’t want to butt heads with me, even though you say you’re a witch.”
“Not a witch.” She was trying to keep her composure, but was feeling irritated.
She waited again for the bunny to speak.
“Okay,” said the bunny. “I’m not sure what our policy is on half-bunnies, so what I’m gonna need for you to do right now, is wait here while I discuss your particular situation with my partner. I’m gonna need you right now, to wait right here. Do not attempt to run or flee.”
Charlee almost rolled her eyes, but decided to nod meekly instead.
The suit of armor turned—the bunny inside shouted to his partner, “Hey, can I ask you something?”—then it noisily and jerkily began to walk toward the other suit of armor.
They walked away from Charlee, moved so that the suit of armors’ tummies faced each other, then spoke quietly between themselves. Charlee couldn’t make out any of their conversation.
A few moments later, the two suits of armor walked toward Charlee, then stood side by side in front of her.
From inside the armor, the bunny on her right, who hadn’t spoken to her yet, said, “It is our policy that you must be at least fifty percent bunny to enter Pink Valley.”
“Well, I’m fifty percent bunny.”
The bunny replied, “Only fifty percent? No more?”
“No more,” Charlee replied sheepishly.
“Hmmm, well I would like it better if you were more than fifty percent bunny, but I will allow it this time.”
“Oh, thank you! So can I go in now?”
“Not yet. We only allow decent, law-abiding bunnies to enter. Do you intend to commit rape?”
Charlee was taken aback. “No! Why do you ask?”
“Because you’re bipedal. Bipedalism leads to rape. That’s why the Easter Bunny was banned from Pink Valley.”
Charlee gasped. “What? What happened?”
“Never mind that. I still haven’t determined if you’re wholesome enough to enter. Do you practice corruptamagic?”
“No.”
“And are you a good girl or a bad girl?”
/> “A good girl,” Charlee replied confidently, even though she wasn’t quite sure she was.
“But why should we believe you? Wait here. Don’t run.”
The knights again went off and talked to each other between tummies, then they came back and stood in front of Charlee again.
The bunny on her right said, “Show us your panties.”
“Excuse me?!” Charlee exclaimed, as she rested her hand on her hip.
The bunny explained, “It’s been a long time since there have been humans in Easter Land, and there is a lot we don’t know about them. But there are many legends and stories that have been passed down, and we remembered one thing that we heard about them: you could tell the good girls from the bad girls by the panties they wore. Good girls wear good-girl-panties and bad girls wear bad-girl-panties. So what kind do you have on?” From their peepholes, both bunnies stared out at the crotch of her jeans.
Charlee bit her lip, then said, “Good-girl-panties, of course.” But she honestly couldn’t remember which panties she had put on that morning.
The bunny on her left, with a forceful voice said, “Then show us your panties! If you pass our test, we’ll let you by. If you don’t, we will turn you away.”
Briefly, Charlee thought it might be illegal to show them, due to her age, but then she realized she wouldn’t be displaying any nudity. She thought for a moment, trying to decide whether to comply. Then she moved her hands to the button of her jeans, then unbuttoned…unzipped…
She pulls her jeans, while filled with doubt.
She glances down, and now she’s saved!
A cartoon kitty gazes out,
On panties white, and not depraved!
(The cat’s not shaved!)
And so the bunnies think, “How nice!”
(They wouldn’t if she turned around.)
They see the virtue, not the vice:
Her thong-clad ass, so plump and round.
(With white-hugged mound.)
And so the guards pound on the gate,
And now we see it open wide.
The Pink Valley shows itself as great,
And she seeks the jelly bean inside.
(Despite her pride.)
O, if that valley, we could own!
How can we help but gaze and wish?
She lifts her jeans, and so we groan.
She walks ahead with girlish swish.
(Her rump, a dish.)
Charlee walked past the two swung-open iron doors of the gate. Behind each door was a pink bunny stepping on a button on the ground. Oddly, an old-fashioned car was parked in the grass to her left. Motors hooked up to chains were holding the gate’s doors open.
As the two doors closed behind her, Charlee gazed upon the magnificent sight before her.
Green rolling hills spread out for a couple of miles. A ring of tall mountains walled the valley in. And all over the place, cute pink bunnies hopped and frolicked. And far away was a large multi-colored lake. It didn’t look like it was made of water. She couldn’t quite understand it.
But she somehow sensed that she had to go there.
Also far away, and to the right of the lake, stood a tall black mountain. Smoke billowed from the top of it, so it looked like a volcano.
The two bunnies who had opened the doors were now circling her feet and hopping, and chirpily exclaimed, “Heya!” and “How ya doin’?” Then they both exclaimed, “Welcome to Pink Valley!” One of the bunnies was male, and the other was female.
“Hello,” Charlee said, then while still looking into the distance, she asked, “Is that a volcano?”
“It sure is!” said the female bunny. “A volcano is a special kind of mountain that makes smoke!”
Charlee looked down at the bunny that was looking up at her, then asked, “Does it ever erupt?”
The bunny cocked her head. “You mean get mad? No, I don’t think so.”
Charlee asked, “And that lake next to it. What’s it made out of?”
The female bunny replied, “It’s full of jelly beans.”
Now the male bunny put his front legs on the female bunny’s rear end, then he lifted himself up and looked up at Charlee. “Hey!” he exclaimed. “Did you know you’re bipedal?”
Charlee laughed in surprise. “Why yes I am! Is that a problem?”
The male replied, “Oh not at all!” Both the bunnies shook their heads simultaneously in opposite directions.
The female bunny chirpily exclaimed, “Bipeds just make us really horny! Let’s fornicate!” The male bunny eagerly nodded his agreement.
Charlee felt alarmed. She thought that maybe bestiality wasn’t frowned upon in Easter Land. But she was still underage. She tried not to sound too panicky though, as she said, “Well, we won’t be having sex, because we’re not married. But hey, why are you so hot for bipeds, exactly?”
The two bunnies looked up at her with blank expressions for a moment, then the female said, “You aren’t a pink bunny, I take it. Your ears are white!”
Charlee shook her head. “Nope, not a pink bunny.”
“Well,” said the female bunny, “Pink bunnies were created through sorcery, and the wizard who made us, made us to glorify the bipedal, because he is a human.”
Charlee asked, “And did he also make it so you couldn’t lie?”
“That’s right. He thought we would be better servants that way. By the way, you’re hot, with your upright standing.”
“Thank you,” Charlee replied. The thought suddenly popped into her head that the Easter Bunny was bipedal. “So I heard the Easter Bunny got banned from Pink Valley. How come?”
The male bunny, in an alarmed voice, shouted, “Rape!”
The female bunny nodded. “Yeah, two counts of rape!”
Charlee tried to remain calm. She had to get to the bottom of all of this. “Could you please fill me in? What happened?”
The bunnies, who were standing next to each other now, exchanged glances. The male bunny looked back up at Charlee, then said, “Well, this was way before our time. We only have the stories that have been passed on…”
Charlee nodded. “Okay. What do the stories say?”
“Well,” said the female bunny, “he wasn’t a pink bunny, so none of the pink bunnies used to like him. Well, he fell in love with Princess Cinny, then one day, he decided to use corruptamagic to woo her. So he made himself bipedal, because he thought that then she would like him.”
The male bunny interrupted, “But things didn’t work out. Princess Cinny died or something, so the Easter Bunny came to Pink Valley. They say he just wanted to forget things and fornicate. And since he was bipedal, the pink bunnies found him attractive.”
Charlee was confused. “So, if that was true, why would he commit rape?”
“Well,” said the female bunny, “according to the Easter Bunny, the first girl-bunny lied about her age. She said she was 6 months old.”
Charlee gasped, but then she remembered that bunnies had a different life-cycle than humans—at least they did back in the non-magical world, so she asked, “And what’s the age of consent?”
The female bunny answered, “6 months. But the girl bunny was only 5 months and 30 days old.”
Charlee felt relieved. It didn’t seem so horrible. She didn’t want to ever find out that the Easter Bunny, who she was representing, was a horrible creep. “So it was just statutory rape.”
The two bunnies faces became angry, then they both shouted out in unison, “Rape is rape!”
“Oh, okay.” Charlee said. “But wait, you said that the Easter Bunny committed two acts of rape?”
The male bunny nodded, then said, “The second time, a few days later, he humped a bunny who was asleep.”
Charlee exclaimed, “Oh my god! That’s terrible! Didn’t she wake up? Was she drugged?”
The male bunny looked confused. “No, he didn’t drag her anywhere that I know of.” He asked the female bunny, “Do you remember anything abou
t that?”
“Nope,” said the female bunny.
The male bunny looked back up at Charlee, then tilted his head to the side. “Why do you say it’s terrible?”
“Because…she was asleep. The Easter Bunny took advantage, right?”
The female bunny shook her head, then said, “We hump each other while we’re sleeping all the time. Don’t you?”
“Um, no, not really. Besides, I’m not 18, so it’s illegal for me to be humped at all. So you mean it’s okay in Pink Valley?”
The female bunny replied, “Well, of course! A girl-bunny would be insulted if she wasn’t humped several times while she was asleep.”
Charlee shook her head in confusion. “So it wasn’t rape?”
The male bunny said, “Oh, it was rape. According to court records, it was determined that the Easter Bunny had penetrated the girl bunny about ten minutes before she was 6 months old.”
“Ah, so, statutory rape again.”
“Rape is rape!” both bunnies shouted.
Just to be agreeable, Charlee nodded her head and said, “It most certainly is!”
The male bunny said, “And the Easter Bunny has been banned from entering Pink Valley ever since.”
“Ah, well thank you for filling me in.”
The bunnies grinned, then said, “You’re so welcome!”
Charlee said, “It’s weird though, because for humans, the age of consent is 18…years.”
“Well that’s weird,” said the female bunny. “Us bunnies don’t even live that long—the wizard gave us short life spans to prevent revolt. But we will respect your laws.”
“Thank you,” Charlee said. “I’m honored that you want to hump me. Truly I am.”
The bunnies, at the same time, said, “You’re welcome.” and “No problem.”
Charlee smiled sweetly. “Now I have another question. Do you know what happened to the boiled egg of the once future King of Easter?”
The bunny shook his head. “No idea what you’re talking about.” The female bunny shook her head too.
Charlee thought that providing more details might aid the bunnies’ memories. “Back in the old days, I think his name was Antiboil or something. Princess Cinnamon was carrying his egg before she disappeared…”
The female bunny said, “Oh, Princess Cinny? Well, we don’t know much about humans. We mostly stay in the Pink Valley. But the Blind Bunny might know. I heard he used to have a crush on Princess Cinny. He even left the Pink Valley to pursue her. He came back after she disappeared.”
“He was around back then? And he’s still alive?”
“As far as I know. They say he lives on top of the volcano with the wizard. He got turned into chocolate a long time ago, which is probably why he’s lived so long. He never comes down or anything. He might know the answer to your question. There is a cable car that goes right to the top of the volcano, too.”
Charlee looked to the top of the smoking mountain. She suddenly sensed that she had to go there and speak to the Blind Bunny. Perhaps, she thought, she had acquired some strange extrasensory abilities, because she was a Chosen One. She asked the bunnies, “Would you like to come with me to the volcano to speak with the Blind Bunny?”
The male bunny shook his head. “Sorry, we can’t. It’s another thing the wizard did when he created the pink bunnies… The altitude causes us to fall asleep. He lives on top of the volcano, so he wants to protect himself from being attacked there. He never comes down anymore, either, probably because we have displeased him in some way.”
Charlee arched her brow. “It seems like the wizard is pretty paranoid. Are you pink bunnies really that dangerous? And if he’s human, doesn’t that mean that humans aren’t totally extinct in Easter Land?”
He shrugged in a pink bunny way. “I don’t feel like I’m very dangerous. And humans are still extinct, as far as we know, in Easter Land. But this is Pink Valley. Our wizard will never go extinct. We send him food regularly through the cable car. I worry about him. I wonder if he’s lonely. It is said that he used to have a girlfriend who lived with him, but she came down from the volcano one day, she left, and hasn’t been seen since. Maybe you could be his girlfriend…”
Charlee nodded. “Maybe… I do have another reason for being here though. I need to find the jelly bean of prophesy…”
“You mean the one in the prophesy poem?” He exchanged glances with the female bunny.
“That’s right. And somehow I sense that it might be in that giant lake of jelly beans.” She pointed. “Can you take me there?”
The female bunny said, “Why, yes we can. We’d be glad to.”
A few minutes later, she was racing across the landscape in a noisy steam-magic car driven by the male rabbit. The female bunny sat in Charlee’s lap.
They didn’t speak a whole lot during the ride, and the things they said were boring, except for one thing:
Charlee at one point remarked, “It’s weird how the prophesy poem doesn’t rhyme in the last three lines, huh.”
The female bunny looked shocked. “What do you mean? Of course it rhymes! They say the Easter Bunny would always recite the last three lines of the poem to try to impress girl-bunnies. He said it proved that he would be the future egg deliverer. The poem’s been passed down to each generation.”
Well, it turned out that, according to the female bunny, there were three extra lines that weren’t on Charlee’s pieces of paper. Charlee asked the bunny to recite them as she wrote them down, and now, on her sheet of paper, the prophesy, plus the three extra handwritten lines, was as follows:
The three compete to see who hides the eggs,
At seventeen, three-hundred-sixty-four.
One blond, one red, one with fantastic legs;
Each has a special gift, for what’s in store.
They each will try to find a candy hid:
The icing eyes, sdiu, and jelly bean.
And for three questions history begs to ask,
They’ll seek three answers—one answer per kid.
Then the snake will bust the wall before eighteen,
Allowing entrance to complete their task.
Out of the four, the future Queen will come,
From four jailbaits, who of their sorrows, sing.
She’ll come, before they add the final sum,
To cure the loneliness that plagues the King.
So strong SinEaster grows from hatred’s cost,
It can destroy Easter, the eighteenth day.
The three should give the Princess candy sin,
Then once the three find out who’s won or lost,
The long-eared one will throw power away,
Because of hatred of Easter within.