Chapter 16
The Bowling family all went to church on Sunday, but Kelly was miles away. During the sermon, all she could think of was the day before. She could still feel the sensations, and the tremble was still there. She had relived the afternoon over and over already. It filled her mind and made her smile. In a tiny corner of her heart, she wondered why she felt no guilt. But then, she was only taking charge of her own happiness.
On Monday, she felt a little nervous. Would Andrew avoid her? Would it seem strange taking to him? She tried to dismiss her apprehensions as she dressed for work. There was nothing she could do about it now. She would just have to wait and see. And they were still working on the project together. They would just have to find a way to relate to each other at work after having the…encounter. She packed her lunch, grabbed her keys, and headed out the door.
Kelly entered the office building and walked toward her office. She walked by Andrew’s office, keeping her gaze forward. As she passed his door, she heard Andrew’s voice.
“Aren’t you going to say good morning?” He called to her.
Kelly smiled and stood in his doorway. “Good morning,” She smiled.
“Have a good weekend?” Andrew asked as he grinned.
“Aw, it was okay I guess,” she answered.
“Ouch!”
“No, actually, it was pretty darn good. See you later.” Kelly waved and walked to her room. She was relieved. There was no tension, no awkwardness. Their friendship was still intact.
Overall, Monday was relatively uneventful. She and Andrew spent the day working on the presentation and chatting over lunch. She had been afraid that the previous weekend would consume her thoughts. However, surprisingly, it was just business as usual. Toward the end of the day after sitting in her office at her computer all day, she felt stifled, and the warm sunshine was calling her. It had been awhile since she had done any writing. She took her notebook and a pen and sat at one of the picnic tables next to the office building. She was immersed in writing when the side door opened and closed. Andrew walked down the sidewalk, briefcase in hand. He stopped and said, “See you later.” Before he resumed his walk to the car, he looked over his shoulder for just a moment and smiled a knowing smile.
Kelly gathered her things then and left to pick up her boys a little earlier than usual. Mikey and Sam ran to her car and jumped in excitedly. “Mom!” Sam exclaimed. “You’re early.”
“Yep,” Kelly smiled. “And since it’s so early, I thought we’d go to the park.”
The boys let out whoops of delight and gave each other high fives. The weather was beautiful and the park was relatively empty of people. Mike and Sam climbed out of the car and ran full tilt toward the maze. Kelly had to jog to catch up to them.
“Hey Mom,” Sam called. “Come through the maze with us!”
Kelly laughed, and, forgetting her dry clean only pants, she got on her hands and knees and followed the boys through the maze. The boys had been through the maze so many times, they knew their way. When they climbed out the other end, Mikey said, “Let’s do it again.”
“I think once is all I can do,” Kelly laughed. “I’m old, remember?”
Sam hugged Kelly and said, “You’re not old, Mommy. You’re perfect.”
They arrived home at about 5:00, and when they walked in, Mike was waiting for them on the couch. He looked irritated, but he smiled at the boys. “Hey guys. Where have y’all been?”
“Mom took us to the park,” Mikey answered. “She even went through the maze with us!”
“That’s great,” Mike said. “Could I talk to Mom for a minute? You guys can go do your homework.”
The boys went to their room obediently. Kelly sat on the couch, wondering what was up. It was obvious that Mike was annoyed about something. “So,” Kelly said, trying to sound light. “What’s up?”
“It’s 5:00, Kelly. I didn’t know where you were, and I have a dinner meeting at 5:30.”
“I’m sorry, “Kelly said apologetically. “I didn’t know.”
“Yes, Kelly, you did know. I told you last week.”
Kelly looked at him, puzzled. “No Mike, you didn’t. I would have remembered. I promise I didn’t know anything about it.”
Mike looked frustrated. “Kelly, you know how you are. Who knows if you were even paying attention when I told you? But I did tell you.”
Now Kelly was defensive. “Mike, I know you think I’m an idiot. But you did not tell me about this dinner. I know how important your schedule is to you. I wouldn’t dare mess it up.”
Mike raised his voice. “You’re going to extremes again. I don’t think you’re an idiot. But I know you don’t always pay attention when I talk. And I am about tired of you being angry every time my business inconveniences you.”
Kelly stood and rolled her eyes at him. “You know what Mike? I really don’t care. I don’t matter to you, I am invisible, and I am not important. You just take care of yourself and don’t worry about me. I’ll make sure I do the same.” And with that, Kelly stomped out of the kitchen. A few minutes later, she heard the door close.
Kelly fumed while she fixed supper for the boys. She was sick of Mike and his criticism. She was sick of feeling like nothing. It made her angry that her husband could make her feel so small when a man she had only known for two years had made her feel so special. She wasn’t in love with Andrew, not really, but that Friday, she had felt things she thought she would never feel again. And she decided she didn’t want just one Friday. She longed to feel the safety of someone’s arms. She sat down at her computer, took a deep breath, and began typing.
“Andrew,
I am thinking about our night together, and I can’t help smiling. I am not usually this direct, but I thought I would take the ‘Mrs. Robinson’ from The Graduate approach. I don’t have any expectations, but if you’re interested in another experience, you know where to find me.”
Kelly took one more deep breath, and then she pressed send. For just a moment she felt a pang of apprehension, wondering if she was putting pressure on him. But something inside told her that the door she was opening was one Andrew would most likely walk through willingly. Just to be sure that Mike didn’t stumble onto it; she deleted the email and then emptied her deleted items folder.
As the evening passed, Kelly’s anger at Mike dissipated. She knew her response to him was out of proportion. But lately she had felt so agitated. The extra energy was wonderful, but sometimes it was hard to expend it all. She had taken to slipping out early to jog. Then she would often jog again in the afternoon. Between that and the decrease in her appetite, she had lost about 10 pounds. This didn’t worry her though. Rather, she felt more attractive than ever. She decided that whether Mike was out of line or not, she would apologize to him when he got home. This new moodiness was part of the problem, and she had overreacted.
Kelly put the boys to bed and then watched television for a while. The time ticked by, and still Mike was not home. Finally, at 9:30, she gave up and went to bed. How could a business dinner take so long? Again Kelly’s suspicions flared, and she wondered where he was. The more she thought about it, the less she felt like apologizing to Mike. So when he arrived home and came into the bedroom, Kelly pretended to be asleep.
Kelly awoke automatically at 5:00 the next morning for her run. Unfortunately, it was raining outside. Kelly thought about doing an aerobics tape, but she didn’t want to wake Mike or the boys. So she sat down and checked her email. There was one message from Andrew. Kelly’s pulse quickened as she wondered what it might say. Would he be offended? Would he be interested? “Good grief, Kelly,” she chided herself. “Just open the stupid email.”
“Kelly,
Wow, I’m pretty flattered. I’ve been thinking of you all week, and I want to see you again. But I might need some time to think before we get together again. Of course, a
s I sit here, I don’t think it’ll be much time, not much time at all.
Andrew.”
Kelly smiled. He wasn’t offended, and had enjoyed it. Maybe he wasn’t ready for anything else, but he didn’t close the door either. She emailed a response:
“Andrew,
You just take all the time you need. You know where to find me.
Kelly”
After pressing the send button, Kelly again deleted the emails and closed out her account. She stretched and smiled again. She was looking forward to the day. As she was about to step into the shower, Mike knocked at the bathroom door. She wrapped herself in a towel and opened the door.
“Hey, Kelly, sorry I was so late last night. I decided to go to the office to do some work. I thought we both needed a little time to cool off.”
“Well, Mike,” Kelly responded, “You definitely gave us that.”
“Look, Kelly, I’m sorry about yesterday. I guess it’s possible I didn’t tell you. Things have been so busy. I didn’t mean to be so critical.”
“Don’t worry about it, Mike. It’s fine. I need to get into the shower.”
Mike looked at her for a moment as if he wanted to say something else. Kelly was still angry, he was sure of that. He wanted to explain and clear the air, but he knew it wouldn’t make any difference what he said. He just shook his head and turned and walked out of the bathroom closing the door behind him.