to her the moment she moved into his home, but her pride would not let her run for help. Instead she put up with Jake and his “other women” who he claimed were men when she first met him. The type of things Jake did to Michelle represented a control officer and he treated her like a prisoner. She was not allowed to see family and friends without his permission. Jake took away the last bit of money and sold any of her items that were of worth after moving in. He was kind to her, or at least in his own mind he believed the life provided was good enough to keep Michelle satisfied.
Michelle cried often wondering if this was the biggest mistake yet, and even though her family was so close now she could not run to them for help without facing the consequences of her actions. She believed that her child would grow up in this wretched home and Michelle could not imagine a worse fate for the unborn baby. Michelle could hardly feel the child kick inside of her and over time she began to warm up to Jake hoping he would supply her with enough money to visit a doctor.
Jake was disappointed and extremely frustrated that Michelle was pregnant. He could not believe that Michelle was careless enough to have the baby and actually keep it. A few hundred bucks for an abortion was easier than thousands of dollars in diapers and baby formula over a longer period of time. School, homework and eventually grandchildren; Jake was not fit for the task and opted out of helping Michelle besides providing a roof over her head.
She would never get more than that from him, not ever. All she would get is a handful of regret and a big loss of power and stability in whatever peace and quiet she had left in the emptiness of her mind. She picked up the phone and called Presley to clear her head every now and then unable to take the loneliness with Jake’s lifestyle. He always answered in a low tone, and she knew it was because he saw the caller I.D. It was time to set things right for good.
“I miss you Michelle, and so do your parents. Why move back if you’re just going to avoid us?” He said and she sighed into the receiver.
“I have an ultrasound coming up in a few weeks; would you like to join me? Or would you prefer to chop my head off? How many times do I have to ask you to be my friend and not my father?” She said and lit a cigarette.
“I am not being your father Michelle, I am being your friend. Friends don’t let their friends treat family like dirt and friends also don’t talk on the phone with friends who smoke when they are pregnant.” There was a loud click in her ear and she chuckled at his immaturity. She loved her unborn baby, but sometimes the stress was so bad in the home with Jake and his controlling attitude that a cigarette was the only relief Michelle could get.
That is how life was for Michelle over the course of her birth. She would call Presley to keep in touch for her own selfish gain rather than his. He would always give in, not wanting to converse with her and hear about the good old days because he was tired of playing the run-around game. But she was not over him and they both knew it.
The months went by and every day she wondered if Presley would get over that burning desire to rip Jake’s throat out for stealing Michelle away from him. Presley was just too good to fight, he knew that Jake was not the problem but Michelle was the issue. If she had a little more attention and maybe a little less money, maybe a few more kisses and a few less hugs, then he would have his life with her that he so desired.
Presley had now become accustomed to her calls and after a few months of her convincing voice he decided to take her to the final ultrasound. Michelle could not have been happier since her life had a sparkle in it now that he was being her true friend again.
Presley was left with an eight month pregnant shadow of what Michelle used to be, a bundle of joy grew inside of her, and it didn’t matter what had to be done because Michelle would not make the same mistake twice. Jake loved her to an extent, but she could not open the doors of their secrets and show Presley all the horrible things that had happened to her since she left him behind. When she saw him for the ultrasound it would be a friendly date, and they would talk about the good times and ignore her idiot mistakes. Presley would drop her home after the appointment to suffer eternal agony with Jake and regrets.
The moment he pulled up to her driveway Michelle had fear in her gut. She would describe it as butterflies, the baby kicking, or maybe even gas if she was smart. But all of it was a lie. The churning in her stomach, the fear, the loneliness-revealed, the heart wrenching reality was all a result of seeing Presley’s face after all this time spent in doubt. She was excited just to see his face. As he jumped out of his car and ran up to the steps to help her down she imagined for a brief moment all of the horrible things they went through did not exist.
“Getting a little heavy I see!” He said and laughed. If he was still hurt, she could not tell. She would have spoken but instead she laughed a little, afraid that words would make her cry. She heard Jake come to the door as she walked with Presley towards the car. Jake did not say a word because he knew exactly who Presley was, and he knew what Presley came here to do; something he wouldn’t. Michelle clutched Presley tighter unable to turn back at the mistake in the doorway.
She knew that Presley noticed her large size was from all the pills he supplied her with. As soon as Presley found out Michelle was pregnant he went the extra mile in making sure she had everything a pregnant mother needed. He was not present physically, but he watched over Michelle by sending prenatal vitamins, pregnancy books and even a home nurse to check up on the baby since Michelle had no way to get to a doctor.
Presley’s over concern for the baby was the reason Michelle was so big and healthy, surely Michelle’s unborn had a little something to do with her weight but not as much as Presley. The thought made her smile. They were in his car and headed to the clinic without delay and arrived at a speedy time. They were silent walking into the large building and held hands (something they often did as kids) until she made it to the forty-third floor of his office building.
He booked the appointment for Michelle at the clinic in his building so she had to see him one way or another, and Michelle noticed he appreciated her allowing him to pick her up for the appointment today. I will have him in my daughter’s life, even if he could not be in mine. Michelle thought these things often to herself.
There was a silence on the elevator and someone saw noticed them holding hands while walking towards the clinic doors and congratulated the parents. Michelle did not bother correcting the passerby, but she should have because Presley was staring down her throat wondering when she would say something. Michelle’s silence said what she could not put to words and he left it at that.
The two sat and waited for the doctor to become available and entered the little hospital room that was made available for Michelle’s appointment. Presley stepped out while Michelle got dressed and asked if his company was needed for the appointment and she was in no mood to refuse.
Michelle had not gone to the hospital since the baby had been growing inside of her, and the nurse provided plenty of information and medication so she could stay at home since Jake denied her offer of hospital visits. She told mentioned there would be repercussions, since not everyone’s baby grew healthily without regular checkups but Michelle was not too worried. The doctor was in a few minutes later and still she spoke to them as if Presley and Michelle were the joined parents, this time she spoke up but Presley over spoke her.
“I am not the father, just her friend.” He said simply and the doctor smiled at them and gave a most thorough check up. She was nice and tiny but her hands were cold and the smell of Michelle’s birth being so near as it was began to make the new mother ill.
Michelle was nervous, scared and Presley grabbed her trembling hand. Michelle just kept shivering wondering if she would make it through the birth, let-alone make it through the next half hour with Presley. The doctor eventually finished the exam and took a look at the baby with the ultrasound device. When Michelle saw the baby for the first time her eyes flooded with tears and the reality of the baby’s
safety and wellbeing, the beginning of motherhood hit Michelle pretty hard. She was really growing a life, creating a little extension of herself and finally there was someone who needed Michelle, depended on its mother and no one else.
Suddenly the sight of those little hands and feet on a dark grey and black screen changed Michelle’s entire perspective on life. That little baby deserved better, she deserved more than Michelle’s pathetic offer of a lifestyle. Deserving more than what Michelle or Jake could currently provide. She deserves a beginning, middle and after life. She deserved parents who loved her for who she was, adored her for everything she would become, and cherish her for what she hoped to be.
Suddenly a feeling of longing and failure washed over Michelle like another wave. Like a crashing wind against her skin as if she was outside in the freezing cold at the dead of night alone and scared, homeless and regretful. The realization was so bright and vibrant Michelle feared she would go blind and here was Presley staring at her unsure of what to do to help. Michelle was slipping away from his grasp, falling into a large cloud of nothingness, then the whole world shook and the room went dark as she passed out.