THE FIRST STORY
[Day the Second]
MARTELLINO FEIGNETH HIMSELF A CRIPPLE AND MAKETH BELIEVE TO WAX WHOLE UPON THE BODY OF ST. ARRIGO. HIS IMPOSTURE BEING DISCOVERED, HE IS BEATEN AND BEING AFTER TAKEN [FOR A THIEF,] GOETH IN PERIL OF BEING HANGED BY THE NECK, BUT ULTIMATELY ESCAPETH
"It chanceth oft, dearest ladies, that he who studieth to befoolothers, and especially in things reverend, findeth himself withnothing for his pains but flouts and whiles cometh not off scathless.Wherefore, that I may obey the queen's commandment and give beginningto the appointed theme with a story of mine, I purpose to relate toyou that which, first misfortunately and after happily, beyond hisevery thought, betided a townsman of ours.
No great while agone there was at Treviso a German called Arrigo, who,being a poor man, served whoso required him to carry burdens for hire;and withal he was held of all a man of very holy and good life.Wherefore, be it true or untrue, when he died, it befell, according tothat which the Trevisans avouch, that, in the hour of his death, thebells of the great church of Treviso began to ring, without beingpulled of any. The people of the city, accounting this a miracle,proclaimed this Arrigo a saint and running all to the house where helay, bore his body, for that of a saint, to the Cathedral, whitherthey fell to bringing the halt, the impotent and the blind and othersafflicted with whatsoever defect or infirmity, as if they should allbe made whole by the touch of the body.
In the midst of this great turmoil and concourse of folk, it chancedthat there arrived at Treviso three of our townsmen, whereof one wascalled Stecchi, another Martellino and the third Marchese, men whovisited the courts of princes and lords and diverted the beholders bytravestying themselves and counterfeiting whatsoever other man withrare motions and grimaces. Never having been there before and seeingall the folk run, they marvelled and hearing the cause, were for goingto see what was toward; wherefore they laid up their baggage at an innand Marchese said, 'We would fain go look upon this saint; but, for mypart, I see not how we may avail to win thither, for that I understandthe Cathedral place is full of German and other men-at-arms, whom thelord of this city hath stationed there, so no riot may betide; more bytoken that they say the church is so full of folk that well nigh noneelse might enter there.' 'Let not that hinder you,' quoth Martellino,who was all agog to see the show; 'I warrant you I will find a meansof winning to the holy body.' 'How so?' asked Marchese, and Martellinoanswered, 'I will tell thee. I will counterfeit myself a cripple andthou on one side and Stecchi on the other shall go upholding me, as itwere I could not walk of myself, making as if you would fain bring meto the saint, so he may heal me. There will be none but, seeing us,will make way for us and let us pass.'
The device pleased Marchese and Stecchi and they went forth of the innwithout delay, all three. Whenas they came to a solitary place,Martellino writhed his hands and fingers and arms and legs and eke hismouth and eyes and all his visnomy on such wise that it was afrightful thing to look upon, nor was there any saw him but would haveavouched him to be verily all fordone and palsied of his person.Marchese and Stecchi, taking him up, counterfeited as he was, madestraight for the church, with a show of the utmost compunction, humblybeseeching all who came in their way for the love of God to make roomfor them, the which was lightly yielded them. Brief, every one gazingon them and crying well nigh all, 'Make way! Make way!' they camewhereas Saint Arrigo's body lay and Martellino was forthright taken upby certain gentlemen who stood around and laid upon the body, so hemight thereby regain the benefit of health. Martellino, having lainawhile, whilst all the folk were on the stretch to see what shouldcome of him, began, as right well he knew how, to make a show ofopening first one finger, then a hand and after putting forth an armand so at last coming to stretch himself out altogether. Which whenthe people saw, they set up such an outcry in praise of Saint Arrigoas would have drowned the very thunder.
Now, as chance would have it, there was therenigh a certainFlorentine, who knew Martellino very well, but had not recognized him,counterfeited as he was, whenas he was brought thither. However, whenhe saw him grown straight again, he knew him and straightway fella-laughing and saying, 'God confound him! Who that saw him come hadnot deemed him palsied in good earnest?' His words were overheard ofsundry Trevisans, who asked him incontinent, 'How! Was he notpalsied?' 'God forbid!' answered the Florentine. 'He hath ever been asstraight as any one of us; but he knoweth better than any man in theworld how to play off tricks of this kind and counterfeit what shapesoever he will.'
When the others heard this, there needed nothing farther; but theypushed forward by main force and fell a-crying out and saying, 'Seizeyonder traitor and scoffer at God and His saints, who, being whole ofhis body, hath come hither, in the guise of a cripple, to make mock ofus and of our saint!' So saying, they laid hold of Martellino andpulled him down from the place where he lay. Then, taking him by thehair of his head and tearing all the clothes off his back, they fellupon him with cuffs and kicks; nor himseemed was there a man in theplace but ran to do likewise. Martellino roared out, 'Mercy, for God'ssake!' and fended himself as best he might, but to no avail; for thecrowd redoubled upon him momently. Stecchi and Marchese, seeing this,began to say one to the other that things stood ill, but, fearing forthemselves, dared not come to his aid; nay, they cried out with therest to put him to death, bethinking them the while how they mightavail to fetch him out of the hands of the people, who would certainlyhave slain him, but for a means promptly taken by Marchese; to wit,all the officers of the Seignory being without the church, he betookhimself as quickliest he might, to him who commanded for the Provostand said, 'Help, for God's sake! There is a lewd fellow within whohath cut my purse, with a good hundred gold florins. I pray you takehim, so I may have mine own again.'
Hearing this, a round dozen of sergeants ran straightway whereas thewretched Martellino was being carded without a comb and having withthe greatest pains in the world broken through the crowd, dragged himout of the people's hands, all bruised and tumbled as he was, andhaled him off to the palace, whither many followed him who heldthemselves affronted of him and hearing that he had been taken for acutpurse and themseeming they had no better occasion[77] of doing himan ill turn,[78] began each on like wise to say that he had cut hispurse. The Provost's judge, who was a crabbed, ill-conditioned fellow,hearing this, forthright took him apart and began to examine him ofthe matter; but Martellino answered jestingly, as if he made light ofhis arrest; whereat the judge, incensed, caused truss him up and givehim two or three good bouts of the strappado, with intent to make himconfess that which they laid to his charge, so he might after have himstrung up by the neck.
[Footnote 77: Or pretext (_titolo_).]
[Footnote 78: Or "having him punished," lit. "causing give him illluck" (_fargli dar la mala ventura_). This passage, like so manyothers of the Decameron, is ambiguous and may also be read"themseeming none other had a juster title to do him an ill turn."]
When he was let down again, the judge asked him once more if that weretrue which the folk avouched against him, and Martellino, seeing thatit availed him not to deny, answered, 'My lord, I am ready to confessthe truth to you; but first make each who accuseth me say when andwhere I cut his purse, and I will tell you what I did and what not.'Quoth the judge, 'I will well,' and calling some of his accusers, putthe question to them; whereupon one said that he had cut his purseeight, another six and a third four days agone, whilst some said thatvery day. Martellino, hearing this, said, 'My lord, these all lie intheir throats and I can give you this proof that I tell you the truth,inasmuch as would God it were as sure that I had never come hither asit is that I was never in this place till a few hours agone; and assoon as I arrived, I went, of my ill fortune, to see yonder holy bodyin the church, where I was carded as you may see; and that this I sayis true, the Prince's officer who keepeth the register of strangerscan certify you, he and his book, as also can my host. If, therefore,you find it as I tell you, I beseech you torture me not neith
er put meto death at the instance of these wicked, men.'
Whilst things were at this pass, Marchese and Stecchi, hearing thatthe judge of the Provostry was proceeding rigorously againstMartellino and had already given him the strappado, were sore affearedand said in themselves, 'We have gone the wrong way to work; we havebrought him forth of the frying-pan and cast him into the fire.'Wherefore they went with all diligence in quest of their host andhaving found him, related to him how the case stood. He laughed andcarried them to one Sandro Agolanti, who abode in Treviso and hadgreat interest with the Prince, and telling him everything in order,joined with them in beseeching him to occupy himself with Martellino'saffairs. Sandro, after many a laugh, repaired to the Prince andprevailed upon him to send for Martellino.
The Prince's messengers found Martellino still in his shirt before thejudge, all confounded and sore adread, for that the judge would hearnothing in his excuse; nay, having, by chance, some spite against thepeople of Florence, he was altogether determined to hang him by theneck and would on no wise render him up to the Prince till such timeas he was constrained thereto in his despite. Martellino, beingbrought before the lord of the city and having told him everything inorder, besought him, by way of special favour, to let him go about hisbusiness, for that, until he should be in Florence again, it wouldstill seem to him he had the rope about his neck. The Prince laughedheartily at his mischance and let give each of the three a suit ofapparel, wherewith they returned home safe and sound, having, beyondall their hope, escaped so great a peril."