THE FIRST STORY
[Day the Seventh]
GIANNI LOTTERINGHI HEARETH KNOCK AT HIS DOOR BY NIGHT AND AWAKENETH HIS WIFE, WHO GIVETH HIM TO BELIEVE THAT IT IS A PHANTOM; WHEREUPON THEY GO TO EXORCISE IT WITH A CERTAIN ORISON AND THE KNOCKING CEASETH
"My Lord, it had been very agreeable to me, were such your pleasure,that other than I should have given a beginning to so goodly a matteras is that whereof we are to speak; but, since it pleaseth you that Igive all the other ladies assurance by my example, I will gladly doit. Moreover, dearest ladies, I will study to tell a thing that may beuseful to you in time to come, for that, if you others are as fearfulas I, and especially of phantoms, (though what manner of thing theymay be God knoweth I know not, nor ever found I any woman who knew it,albeit all are alike adread of them,) you may, by noting well mystory, learn a holy and goodly orison of great virtue for theconjuring them away, should they come to you.
There was once in Florence, in the quarter of San Brancazio, awool-comber called Gianni Lotteringhi, a man more fortunate in hiscraft than wise in other things, for that, savoring of the simpleton,he was very often made captain of the Laudsingers[340] of Santa MariaNovella and had the governance of their confraternity, and he many atime had other little offices of the same kind, upon which he muchvalued himself. This betided him for that, being a man of substance,he gave many a good pittance to the clergy, who, getting of him often,this a pair of hose, that a gown and another a scapulary, taught himin return store of goodly orisons and gave him the paternoster in thevulgar tongue, the Song of Saint Alexis, the Lamentations of SaintBernard, the Canticles of Madam Matilda and the like trumpery, allwhich he held very dear and kept very diligently for his soul'shealth. Now he had a very fair and lovesome lady to wife, by nameMistress Tessa, who was the daughter of Mannuccio dalla Cuculia andwas exceeding discreet and well advised. She, knowing her husband'ssimplicity and being enamoured of Federigo di Neri Pegolotti, a briskand handsome youth, and he of her, took order with a serving-maid ofhers that he should come speak with her at a very goodly country housewhich her husband had at Camerata, where she sojourned all the summerand whither Gianni came whiles to sup and sleep, returning in themorning to his shop and bytimes to his Laudsingers.
[Footnote 340: See p. 144, note 2.]
Federigo, who desired this beyond measure, taking his opportunity,repaired thither on the day appointed him towards vespers and Gianninot coming thither that evening, supped and lay the night in all easeand delight with the lady, who, being in his arms, taught him thatnight a good half dozen of her husband's lauds. Then, neither she norFederigo purposing that this should be the last, as it had been thefirst time [of their foregathering], they took order together on thiswise, so it should not be needful to send the maid for him each time,to wit, that every day, as he came and went to and from a place he hada little farther on, he should keep his eye on a vineyard thatadjoined the house, where he would see an ass's skull set up on one ofthe vine poles, which whenas he saw with the muzzle turned towardsFlorence, he should without fail and in all assurance betake himselfto her that evening after dark; and if he found the door shut heshould knock softly thrice and she would open to him; but that, whenashe saw the ass's muzzle turned towards Fiesole, he should not come,for that Gianni would be there; and doing on this wise, theyforegathered many a time.
But once, amongst other times, it chanced that, Federigo being onenight to sup with Mistress Tessa and she having let cook two fatcapons, Gianni, who was not expected there that night, came thithervery late, whereat the lady was much chagrined and having supped withher husband on a piece of salt pork, which she had let boil apart,caused the maid wrap the two boiled capons in a white napkin and carrythem, together with good store of new-laid eggs and a flask of goodwine, into a garden she had, whither she could go, without passingthrough the house, and where she was wont to sup whiles with herlover, bidding her lay them at the foot of a peach-tree that grewbeside a lawn there. But such was her trouble and annoy that sheremembered not to bid the maid wait till Federigo should come and tellhim that Gianni was there and that he should take the viands from thegarden; wherefore, she and Gianni betaking themselves to bed and themaid likewise, it was not long before Federigo came to the door andknocked softly once. The door was so near to the bedchamber thatGianni heard it incontinent, as also did the lady; but she made a showof being asleep, so her husband might have no suspicion of her. Afterwaiting a little, Federigo knocked a second time, whereupon Gianni,marvelling, nudged his wife somewhat and said, 'Tessa, hearest thouwhat I hear? Meseemeth there is a knocking at our door.'
The lady, who had heard it much better than he, made a show of awakingand said, 'Eh? How sayst thou?' 'I say,' answered Gianni, 'thatmeseemeth there is a knocking at our door.' 'Knocking!' cried she.'Alack, Gianni mine, knowst thou not what it is? It is a phantom, thathath these last few nights given me the greatest fright that ever was,insomuch that, whenas I hear it, I put my head under the clothes anddare not bring it out again until it is broad day.' Quoth Gianni, 'Goto, wife; have no fear, if it be so; for I said the _Te Lucis_ and the_Intemerata_ and such and such other pious orisons, before we laydown, and crossed the bed from side to side, in the name of theFather, the Son and the Holy Ghost, so that we have no need to fear,for that, what power soever it have, it cannot avail to harm us.'
The lady, fearing lest Federigo should perchance suspect otherwhat andbe angered with her, determined at all hazards to arise and let himknow that Gianni was there; wherefore quoth she to her husband, 'Thatis all very well; thou sayst thy words, thou; but, for my part, Ishall never hold myself safe nor secure, except we exorcise it, sincethou art here.' 'And how is it to be exorcised?' asked he; and she, 'Iknow full well how to exorcise it; for, the other day, when I went tothe Pardon at Fiesole, a certain anchoress (the very holiest ofcreatures, Gianni mine, God only can say how holy she is,) seeing methus fearful, taught me a pious and effectual orison and told me thatshe had made trial of it several times, ere she became a recluse, andthat it had always availed her. God knoweth I should never have daredgo alone to make proof of it; but, now that thou art here, I wouldhave us go exorcise the phantom.'
Gianni answered that he would well and accordingly they both arose andwent softly to the door, without which Federigo, who now began tomisdoubt him of somewhat, was yet in waiting. When they came thither,the lady said to Gianni, 'Do thou spit, whenas I shall bid thee.' Andhe answered, 'Good.' Then she began the conjuration and said,'Phantom, phantom that goest by night, with tail upright[341] thoucam'st to us; now get thee gone with tail upright. Begone into thegarden to the foot of the great peach tree; there shalt thou find ananointed twice-anointed one[342] and an hundred turds of my sittinghen;[343] set thy mouth to the flagon and get thee gone again and dothou no hurt to my Gianni nor to me.' Then to her husband, 'Spit,Gianni,' quoth she, and he spat. Federigo, who heard all this fromwithout and was now quit of jealousy, had, for all his vexation, sogreat a mind to laugh that he was like to burst, and when Gianni spat,he said under his breath '[Would it were] thy teeth!'
[Footnote 341: _i.e._ pene arrecto.]
[Footnote 342: _i.e._ a fattened capon well larded.]
[Footnote 343: _i.e._ eggs.]
The lady, having thrice conjured the phantom on this wise, returned tobed with her husband, whilst Federigo, who had not supped, looking tosup with her, and had right well apprehended the words of theconjuration, betook himself to the garden and finding the capons andwine and eggs at the foot of the great peach-tree, carried them off tohis house and there supped at his ease; and after, when he nextforegathered with the lady, he had a hearty laugh with her anent theconjuration aforesaid. Some say indeed that the lady had actuallyturned the ass's skull towards Fiesole, but that a husbandman, passingthrough the vineyard, had given it a blow with a stick and caused itspin round and it had become turned towards Florence, whereforeFederigo, thinking himself summoned, had come thither, and that thelady had made the conjuration on this wi
se: 'Phantom, phantom, getthee gone in God's name; for it was not I turned the ass's head; butanother it was, God put him to shame! and I am here with my Gianni inbed'; whereupon he went away and abode without supper or lodging. Buta neighbour of mine, a very ancient lady, telleth me that, accordingto that which she heard, when a child, both the one and the other weretrue; but that the latter happened, not to Gianni Lotteringhi, but toone Gianni di Nello, who abode at Porta San Piero and was no lessexquisite a ninny than the other. Wherefore, dear my ladies, itabideth at your election to take whether of the two orisons mostpleaseth you, except you will have both. They have great virtue insuch cases, as you have had proof in the story you have heard; getthem, therefore, by heart and they may yet avail you."