THE NINTH STORY

  [Day the Seventh]

  LYDIA, WIFE OF NICOSTRATUS, LOVETH PYRRHUS, WHO, SO HE MAY BELIEVE IT, REQUIRETH OF HER THREE THINGS, ALL WHICH SHE DOTH. MOREOVER, SHE SOLACETH HERSELF WITH HIM IN THE PRESENCE OF NICOSTRATUS AND MAKETH THE LATTER BELIEVE THAT THAT WHICH HE HATH SEEN IS NOT REAL

  Neifile's story so pleased the ladies that they could neither giveover to laugh at nor to talk of it, albeit the king, having biddenPamfilo tell his story, had several times imposed silence upon them.However, after they had held their peace, Pamfilo began thus: "I donot believe, worshipful ladies, that there is anything, how hard anddoubtful soever it be, that whoso loveth passionately will not dare todo; the which, albeit it hath already been demonstrated in manystories, methinketh, nevertheless, I shall be able yet more plainly toshow forth to you in one which I purpose to tell you and wherein youshall hear of a lady, who was in her actions much more favoured offortune than well-advised of reason; wherefore I would not counsel anyone to adventure herself in the footsteps of her of whom I am to tell,for that fortune is not always well disposed nor are all men in theworld equally blind.

  In Argos, city of Achia far more famous for its kings of past timethan great in itself, there was once a nobleman called Nicostratus, towhom, when already neighbouring on old age, fortune awarded a lady ofgreat family to wife, whose name was Lydia and who was no lesshigh-spirited than fair. Nicostratus, like a nobleman and a man ofwealth as he was, kept many servants and hounds and hawks and took theutmost delight in the chase. Among his other servants he had a youngman called Pyrrhus, who was sprightly and well bred and comely of hisperson and adroit in all that he had a mind to do, and him he lovedand trusted over all else. Of this Pyrrhus Lydia became so soreenamoured that neither by day nor by night could she have her thoughtotherwhere than with him; but he, whether it was that he perceived nother liking for him or that he would none of it, appeared to recknothing thereof, by reason whereof the lady suffered intolerablechagrin in herself and being altogether resolved to give him to knowof her passion, called a chamberwoman of hers, Lusca by name, in whomshe much trusted, and said to her, 'Lusca, the favours thou hast hadof me should make thee faithful and obedient; wherefore look thou noneever know that which I shall presently say to thee, save he to whom Ishall charge thee tell it. As thou seest, Lusca, I am a young andlusty lady, abundantly endowed with all those things which any womancan desire; in brief, I can complain of but one thing, to wit, that myhusband's years are overmany, an they be measured by mine own,wherefore I fare but ill in the matter of that thing wherein youngwomen take most pleasure, and none the less desiring it, as otherwomen do, I have this long while determined in myself, since fortunehath been thus little my friend in giving me so old a husband, that Iwill not be so much mine own enemy as not to contrive to find meansfor my pleasures and my weal; which that I may have as complete inthis as in other things, I have bethought myself to will that ourPyrrhus, as being worthier thereof than any other, should furnish themwith his embracements; nay, I have vowed him so great a love that Inever feel myself at ease save whenas I see him or think of him, andexcept I foregather with him without delay, methinketh I shallcertainly die thereof. Wherefore, if my life be dear to thee, thouwilt, on such wise as shall seem best to thee, signify to him any loveand beseech him, on my part, to be pleased to come to me, whenas thoushalt go for him.'

  The chamberwoman replied that she would well and taking Pyrrhus apart,whenas first it seemed to her time and place, she did her lady'serrand to him as best she knew. Pyrrhus, hearing this, was sore amazedthereat, as one who had never anywise perceived aught of the matter,and misdoubted him the lady had let say this to him to try him;wherefore he answered roughly and hastily, 'Lusca, I cannot believethat these words come from my lady; wherefore, have a care what thousayst; or, if they do indeed come from her, I do not believe that shecaused thee say them with intent, and even if she did so, my lord dothme more honour than I deserve and I would not for my life do him suchan outrage; wherefore look thou bespeak me no more of such things.'Lusca, nowise daunted by his austere speech, said to him, 'Pyrrhus, Iwill e'en bespeak thee both of this and of everything else wherewithalmy lady shall charge me when and as often as she shall bid me, whetherit cause thee pleasure or annoy; but thou art an ass.' Then, somewhatdespited at his words, she returned to her mistress, who, hearing whatPyrrhus had said, wished for death, but, some days after, she againbespoke the chamberwoman of the matter and said to her, 'Lusca, thouknowest that the oak falleth not for the first stroke; whereforemeseemeth well that thou return anew to him who so strangely willethto abide loyal to my prejudice, and taking a sortable occasion,throughly discover to him my passion and do thine every endeavour thatthe thing may have effect; for that, an it fall through thus, I shallassuredly die of it. Moreover, he will think to have been befooled,and whereas we seek to have his love, hate will ensue thereof.'

  The maid comforted her and going in quest of Pyrrhus found him merryand well-disposed and said to him, 'Pyrrhus I showed thee, a few daysagone, in what a fire my lady and thine abideth for the love shebeareth thee, and now anew I certify thee thereof, for that, an thoupersist in the rigour thou showedst the other day, thou mayst beassured that she will not live long; wherefore I prithee be pleased tosatisfy her of her desire, and if thou yet abide fast in thineobstinacy, whereas I have still accounted thee mighty discreet, Ishall hold thee a blockhead. What can be a greater glory for thee thanthat such a lady, so fair and so noble, should love thee over allelse? Besides, how greatly shouldst thou acknowledge thyself beholdenunto Fortune, seeing that she proffereth thee a thing of such worthand so conformable to the desires of thy youth and to boot, such aresource for thy necessities! Which of thy peers knowest thou whofareth better by way of delight than thou mayst fare, an thou be wise?What other couldst thou find who may fare so well in the matter ofarms and horses and apparel and monies as thou mayst do, so thou wiltbut vouchsafe thy love to this lady? Open, then, thy mind to my wordsand return to thy senses; bethink thee that once, and no oftener, itis wont to betide that fortune cometh unto a man with smiling face andopen arms, who an he know not then to welcome, if after he findhimself poor and beggarly, he hath himself and not her to blame.Besides, there is no call to use that loyalty between servants andmasters that behoveth between friends and kinsfolk; nay, servantsshould use their masters, in so far as they may, like as themselvesare used of them. Thinkest thou, an thou hadst a fair wife or motheror daughter or sister, who pleased Nicostratus, that he would goquesting after this loyalty that thou wouldst fain observe towards himin respect of this lady? Thou are a fool, if thou think thus; for thoumayst hold it for certain that, if blandishments and prayers sufficedhim not, he would not scruple to use force in the matter, whatsoeverthou mightest deem thereof. Let us, then, entreat them and theiraffairs even as they entreat us and ours. Profit by the favour offortune and drive her not away, but welcome her with open arms andmeet her halfway, for assuredly, and thou do it not, thou wilt yet(leave alone the death that will without fail ensue thereof to thylady) repent thee thereof so many a time thou wilt be fain to dietherefor.'

  Pyrrhus, who had again and again pondered the words that Lusca hadsaid to him, had determined, and she should return to him, to make heranother guess answer and altogether to submit himself to comply withthe lady's wishes, so but he might be certified that it was not atrick to try him, and accordingly answered, 'Harkye, Lusca; all thatthou sayst to me I allow to be true; but, on the other hand, I know mylord for very discreet and well-advised, and as he committeth all hisaffairs to my hands, I am sore adread lest Lydia, with his counsel andby his wish, do this to try me; wherefore, an it please her for mineassurance do three things that I shall ask, she shall for certainthereafterward command me nought but I will do it forthright. And thethree things I desire are these: first, that in Nicostratus hispresence she slay his good hawk; secondly, that she send me a lock ofher husband's beard and lastly, one of his best teeth.' Theseconditions
seemed hard unto Lusca and to the lady harder yet;however, Love, who is an excellent comforter[354] and a past master inshifts and devices, made her resolve to do his pleasure andaccordingly she sent him word by her chamberwoman that she wouldpunctually do what he required and that quickly, and that over andabove this, for that he deemed Nicostratus so well-advised, she wouldsolace herself with him in her husband's presence and make the latterbelieve that it was not true.

  [Footnote 354: Syn. encourager, helper, auxiliary (_confortatore_).]

  Pyrrhus, accordingly, began to await what the lady should do, andNicostratus having, a few days after, made, as he oftentimes used todo, a great dinner to certain gentlemen, Madam Lydia, whenas thetables were cleared away, came forth of her chamber, clad in greensamite and richly bedecked, and entered the saloon where the guestswere. There, in the sight of Pyrrhus and of all the rest, she went upto the perch, whereon was the hawk that Nicostratus held so dear, andcast it loose, as she would set it on her hand; then, taking it by thejesses, she dashed it against the wall and killed it; whereuponNicostratus cried out at her, saying, 'Alack, wife, what hast thoudone?' She answered him nothing, but, turning to the gentlemen who hadeaten with him, she said to them, 'Gentlemen, I should ill know how toavenge myself on a king who did me a despite, an I dared not take mywreak of a hawk. You must know that this bird hath long robbed me ofall the time which should of men be accorded to the pleasuring of theladies; for that no sooner is the day risen than Nicostratus is up anddrest and away he goeth a-horseback, with his hawk on his fist, to theopen plains, to see him fly, whilst I, such as you see me, abide inbed alone and ill-content; wherefore I have many a time had a mind todo that which I have now done, nor hath aught hindered me therefrombut that I waited to do it in the presence of gentlemen who would bejust judges in my quarrel, as methinketh you will be.' The gentlemen,hearing this and believing her affection for Nicostratus to be nootherwise than as her words denoted, turned all to the latter, who wasangered, and said, laughing, 'Ecod, how well hath the lady done toavenge herself of her wrong by the death of the hawk!' Then, withdivers of pleasantries upon the subject (the lady being now gone backto her chamber), they turned Nicostratus his annoy into laughter;whilst Pyrrhus, seeing all this, said in himself, 'The lady hath givena noble beginning to my happy loves; God grant she persevere!'

  Lydia having thus slain the hawk, not many days were passed when,being in her chamber with Nicostratus, she fell to toying andfrolicking with him, and he, pulling her somedele by the hair, by wayof sport, gave her occasion to accomplish the second thing required ofher by Pyrrhus. Accordingly, taking him of a sudden by a lock of hisbeard, she tugged so hard at it, laughing the while, that she pluckedit clean out of his chin; whereof he complaining, 'How now?' quothshe. 'What aileth thee to pull such a face? Is it because I haveplucked out maybe half a dozen hairs of thy beard? Thou feltest notthat which I suffered, whenas thou pulledst me now by the hair.' Onthis wise continuing their disport from one word to another, sheprivily kept the lock of hair that she had plucked from his beard andsent it that same day to her lover.

  Anent the last of the three things required by Pyrrhus she was harderput to it for a device; nevertheless, being of a surpassing wit andLove making her yet quicker of invention, she soon bethought herselfwhat means she should use to give it accomplishment. Nicostratus hadtwo boys given him of their father, to the intent that, being ofgentle birth, they might learn somewhat of manners and good breedingin his house, of whom, whenas he was at meat, one carved before himand the other gave him to drink. Lydia called them both and givingthem to believe that they stank at the mouth, enjoined them that,whenas they served Nicostratus, they should still hold their headsbackward as most they might nor ever tell this to any. The boys,believing that which she said, proceeded to do as she had lessonedthem, and she after a while said to her husband one day, 'Hast thounoted that which yonder boys do, whenas they serve thee?' 'Ay have I,'replied Nicostratus; 'and indeed I had it in mind to ask them why theydid it.' Quoth the lady, 'Do it not, for I can tell thee the reason;and I have kept it silent from thee this long while, not to cause theeannoy; but, now I perceive that others begin to be aware thereof, itskilleth not to hide it from thee longer. This betideth thee for noneother what than that thou stinkest terribly at the mouth, and I knownot what can be the cause thereof; for that it used not to be thus.Now this is a very unseemly thing for thee who hast to do withgentlemen, and needs must we see for a means of curing it.' Whereuponsaid he, 'What can this be? Can I have some rotten tooth in my head?''Maybe ay,' answered Lydia and carried him to a window, where she madehim open his mouth, and after she had viewed it in every part, 'ONicostratus,' cried she, 'how canst thou have put up with it so long?Thou hast a tooth on this side which meseemth is not only decayed, butaltogether rotten, and assuredly, and thou keep it much longer in thymouth, it will mar thee those which be on either side; wherefore Icounsel thee have it drawn, ere the thing go farther.' 'Since itseemeth good to thee,' answered he, 'I will well; let a surgeon besent for without more delay, who shall draw it for me.' 'God forbid,'rejoined the lady, 'that a surgeon come hither for that! Methinketh itlieth on such wise that I myself, without any surgeon, can very welldraw it for thee; more by token that these same surgeons are sobarbarous in doing such offices that my heart would on no accountsuffer me to see or know thee in the hands of any one of them; for, anit irk thee overmuch, I will at least loose thee incontinent, which asurgeon would not do.'

  Accordingly, she let fetch the proper instruments and sent every oneforth of the chamber, except only Lusca; after which, locking herselfin, she made Nicostratus lie down on a table and thrusting the pincersinto his mouth, what while the maid held him fast, she pulled out oneof his teeth by main force, albeit he roared out lustily for the pain.Then, keeping to herself that which she had drawn, she brought out afrightfully decayed tooth she had ready in her hand and showed it toher husband, half dead as he was for pain, saying, 'See what thouhast had in thy mouth all this while.' Nicostratus believed what shesaid and now that the tooth was out, for all he had suffered the mostgrievous pain and made sore complaint thereof, him seemed he wascured; and presently, having comforted himself with one thing andanother and the pain being abated, he went forth of the chamber;whereupon his wife took the tooth and straightway despatched it to hergallant, who, being now certified of her love, professed himself readyto do her every pleasure.

  The lady, albeit every hour seemed to her a thousand till she shouldbe with him, desiring to give him farther assurance and wishful toperform that which she had promised him, made a show one day of beingailing and being visited after dinner by Nicostratus, with no one inhis company but Pyrrhus, she prayed them, by way of allaying herunease, to help her go into the garden. Accordingly, Nicostratustaking her on one side and Pyrrhus on the other, they carried her intothe garden and set her down on a grassplot, at the foot of a finepear-tree; where, after they had sat awhile, the lady, who had alreadygiven her gallant to know what he had to do, said, 'Pyrrhus, I have agreat desire to eat of yonder pears; do thou climb up and throw usdown some of them.' Pyrrhus straightway climbed up into the tree andfell to throwing down of the pears, which as he did, he began to say,'How now, my lord! What is this you do? And you, madam, are you notashamed to suffer it in my presence? Think you I am blind? But now youwere sore disordered; how cometh it you have so quickly recovered thatyou do such things? An you have a mind unto this, you have store ofgoodly chambers; why go you not do it in one of these? It were moreseemly than in my presence.'

  The lady turned to her husband and said, 'What saith Pyrrhus? Doth herave?' 'No, madam,' answered the young man, 'I rave not. Think you Icannot see?' As for Nicostratus, he marvelled sore and said, 'Verily,Pyrrhus, methinketh thou dreamest.' 'My lord,' replied Pyrrhus, 'Idream not a jot, neither do you dream; nay, you bestir yourselves onsuch wise that were this tree to do likewise, there would not be apear left on it.' Quoth the lady, 'What may this be? Can it be thatthis he saith appeareth to him to be true? So G
od save me, and I werewhole as I was aforetime, I would climb up into the tree, to see whatmarvels are those which this fellow saith he seeth.' Meanwhile Pyrrhusfrom the top of the pear-tree still said the same thing and kept upthe pretence; whereupon Nicostratus bade him come down. Accordingly hecame down and his master said to him, 'Now, what sayst thou thousawest?' 'Methinketh,' answered he, 'you take me for a lackwit or aloggerhead. Since I must needs say it, I saw you a-top of your lady,and after, as I came down, I saw you arise and seat yourself where youpresently are.' 'Assuredly,' said Nicostratus, 'thou dotest; for wehave not stirred a jot, save as thou seest, since thou climbest upinto the pear-tree.' Whereupon quoth Pyrrhus, 'What booteth it to makewords of the matter? I certainly saw you; and if I did see you, it wasa-top of your own.'

  Nicostratus waxed momently more and more astonished, insomuch that hesaid, 'Needs must I see if this pear-tree is enchanted and if whoso isthereon seeth marvels.' Thereupon he climbed up into the tree and nosooner was he come to the top than the lady and Pyrrhus fell tosolacing themselves together; which when Nicostratus saw, he began tocry out, saying, 'Ah, vile woman that thou art, what is this thoudost? And thou, Pyrrhus, in whom I most trusted?' So saying, heproceeded to descend the tree, whilst the lovers said, 'We are sittinghere'; then, seeing him come down, they reseated themselves whereas hehad left them. As soon as he was down and saw his wife and Pyrrhuswhere he had left them, he fell a-railing at them; whereupon quothPyrrhus, 'Now, verily, Nicostratus, I acknowledged that, as you saidbefore, I must have seen falsely what while I was in the pear-tree,nor do I know it otherwise than by this, that I see and know yourselfto have seen falsely in the like case. And that I speak the truthnought else should be needful to certify you but that you have regardto the circumstances of the case and consider if it be possible thatyour lady, who is the most virtuous of women and discreeter than anyother of her sex, could, an she had a mind to outrage you on suchwise, bring herself to do it before your very eyes. I speak not ofmyself, who would rather suffer myself to be torn limb-meal than somuch as think of such a thing, much more come to do it in yourpresence. Wherefore the fault of this misseeing must needs proceedfrom the pear-tree, for that all the world had not made me believe butthat you were in act to have carnal knowledge of your lady here, had Inot heard you say that it appeared to yourself that I did what I knowmost certainly I never thought, much less did.'

  Thereupon the lady, feigning to be mightily incensed, rose to her feetand said, 'Ill luck betide thee, dost thou hold me so little of witthat, an I had a mind to such filthy fashions as thou wouldst have usbelieve thou sawest, I should come to do them before thy very eyes?Thou mayst be assured of this that, if ever the fancy took me thereof,I should not come hither; marry, methinketh I should have sense enoughto contrive it in one of our chambers, on such wise and after such afashion that it would seem to me an extraordinary thing if ever thoucamest to know of it.' Nicostratus, himseeming that what the lady andPyrrhus said was true, to wit, that they would never have venturedupon such an act there before himself, gave over words and reproachesand fell to discoursing of the strangeness of the fact and the miracleof the sight, which was thus changed unto whoso climbed up into thepear-tree. But his wife, feigning herself chagrined for the illthought he had shown of her, said, 'Verily, this pear-tree shall neveragain, if I can help it, do me nor any other lady the like of thisshame; wherefore do thou run, Pyrrhus, and fetch a hatchet and at onestroke avenge both thyself and me by cutting it down; albeit it werebetter yet lay it about Nicostratus his cosard, who, without anyconsideration, suffered the eyes of his understanding to be so quicklyblinded, whenas, however certain that which thou[355] saidst mightseem to those[356] which thou hast in thy head, thou shouldst fornought in the world in the judgment of thy mind have believed orallowed that such a thing could be.'

  [Footnote 355: This sudden change from the third to the second person,in speaking of Nicostratus, is a characteristic example of Boccaccio'sconstant abuse of the figure enallage in his dialogues.]

  [Footnote 356: _i.e._ those eyes.]

  Pyrrhus very readily fetched the hatchet and cut down the tree, whichwhen the lady saw fallen, she said to Nicostratus, 'Since I see theenemy of mine honour overthrown, my anger is past,' and graciouslyforgave her husband, who besought her thereof, charging him that itshould never again happen to him to presume such a thing of her, wholoved him better than herself. Accordingly, the wretched husband, thusbefooled, returned with her and her lover to the palace, where many atime thereafterward Pyrrhus took delight and pleasance more at ease ofLydia and she of him. God grant us as much!"