“Ow!” Kara squawked suddenly and rubbed her arm where the very guilty looking Jewel had just pinched her―hard. “What was that for?”
“Just wanted to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I’ve read that in dreams that even when things happen that should be painful you don’t actually feel any pain,” Jewel explained.
“We may not be dreaming but I haven’t ruled out that we might be trippin’,” Kara admitted as she looked around the dark, densely populated forest.
“You mean drugs?” Jewel’s voice rose just a little revealing the doubt she had about Kara’s conclusion.
“No of course not, I meant Lucky Charms.” Kara closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry, that was rude. I sometimes get a little testy when I’m stressed out. This situation qualifies as extremely stressful.”
Jewel smiled in a way that Kara knew she was forgiven, and more than likely Jewel was the type that forgave way too much, way too often. “I think we might need to consider that what Lorelle said is true,” Jewel told her matter of fact like.
“You mean believe in magic, gypsies with powers and Canis lupis, which if I’m not mistaken are werewolves?” Kara crossed her arms across her chest as she met Jewels steady gaze.
“Exactly,” Jewel beamed obviously pleased at Kara’s conclusion.
“What did you say your name was?” Kara asked.
“Jewel.”
Kara made an ah motion with her mouth as if Jewel’s name explained everything. “Well Jewel, I’m Kara and I’m here to tell you there is no such thing as magic and if there was I would have figured it out a long time ago and gotten myself the hell out of Dodge.”
Jewel nodded as if she totally understood what Kara was saying. “Well, I don’t know where Dodge is, and I’m sorry if it was a horrid place for you, but it’s hard to refute the evidence that we have and I think we could better spend our time trying to figure a way out of this instead of trying to make sense of it.”
Kara wanted to laugh at the girl’s obvious innocence. She wished she was still that innocent but it’s hard to stay innocent when you’re a product of the system. No parents, no love, no security, and that equaled jaded. But instead of sharing all of her baggage with Rainbow Bright over there, she simply nodded and said, “I’m guessing you have a plan?”
Jewel smiled mischievously. “Like I said, you learn a few things when you work in a library.”
Kara didn’t know if that should comfort or frighten her.
Chapter 12
“Defeat has never been an option. I may lose a skirmish, I may have to retreat and regroup, but I will not lose the war. There is too much at stake, although I don’t even know what is at stake. There are too many unknown variables. What I do know, what I am utterly sure of, is even if I have to go to the furthest depths of hell to save the healers my sister has stolen, I will do it, and I just might toss my sister into the pit while I’m at it.” ~Perizada
“You need to rest,” Lucian’s voice came from behind her.
“There is no rest for me. I will find none until I have done what I was charged to do. You were a warrior, you know what it is like to have orders that you must carry out, to have those who have been entrusted into your care to keep safe, and then fail them.” Peri held her voice steady even though she was torn up inside.
“You are doing all that you can, love. You cannot expect more of yourself than you have to give.” Lucian’s arms wrapped around her and his breath on her neck sent a thrill through her that she wanted to enjoy but couldn’t.
She pushed his hands away as she rounded on him, her eyes narrowed and flashing with the power that she fought to contain. “Why can’t I?” She nearly yelled. She knew her anger wasn’t at him, not really, but he was a convenient target and he had wandered into the lion’s den. “I am a high fae, centuries old, with power and wisdom beyond which the likes of even your mind can imagine so tell me why I shouldn’t expect more of myself? Tell me how I could possibly have let my sister get her wicked hands on those girls and then lay down for a little nap, or curl up in your arms and enjoy the feel of your skin and the breath from you lungs!” She was gasping for air as her hands fisted at her sides.
“I could help you if you would only let me. I could bear this burden with you,” he told her in his infuriatingly calm way.
“Ugh! Not this again! Are you serious? You want to bring up the whole mate thing at a time like this? You really want to go there, because I can’t think of ANY reason for us to take time away from searching for these girls so you can bite me and claim me like I’m your property only to then have your…,”
“DO NOT SAY IT,” he suddenly snarled at her. His shoulders pulled back and his chest rose and fell with deep breaths of anger. His eyes had begun to glow and now were blazing silver that swirled in time to the beat of Peri’s heart.
She had pushed him too far.
“I am done waiting,” he growled though not nearly as loud.
“Excuse me?” Peri tried to sound threatening but it came out more as a pathetic whisper. The weight of the task the Great Luna had set before them was weighing her down. She felt as though the lives of the entire world depended upon her, and she had no idea who, other than her sister, that she was fighting. She felt guilty for her divided attention. She should be focusing on finding the healers that Lorelle had captured and yet she found that she couldn’t keep her mind or heart off of the determined wolf.
Then she felt angry for having to feel guilty when all she wanted was to be loved the way Lucian was promising to love her. Most of all she wanted to feel safe and for the first time in her very long life she found the place she could go and feel completely safe ―Lucian’s arms.
“I have been patient with you, Peri. I have helped you, protected you and loved you from the distance where you have kept me. I have given you time, but it is not helping you or me. It is simply preventing us from being whole. You cannot do what the Great Luna is asking you to do until you deal with us. You would not be divided in your attentions if your soul was whole.” Lucian’s voice, though firm, was full of understanding.
“So you want me to what? Just take a mini vaca and have a honeymoon while Lorelle and whoever her evil master is continues doing who knows what to those healers?” Her voice had once again grown in strength as her temper once again flared. “And what am I supposed to tell the little healers Lucian? What am I supposed to say to them when I finally find them, because I will find them, tortured and drained of their magic? I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner but I had to get MY ROCKS OFF!”
“ENOUGH!” Lucian’s voice reverberated off of the walls of the house behind them and shook the glass in the windows. His wolf had surfaced and though he appeared angry he was in complete control. Peri had yet to see him lose control and in that moment it seriously pissed her off that she felt so out of control.
“I have come to find your brass and completely immodest ways rather endearing, but I will not allow you to cheapen the mate bond. I will not allow you to turn something that the Great Luna intended to be sacred and eternally binding into some form of quick fix for raging hormones. I have been trapped in a realm for over two hundred years, alone, without any form of companion and yet with the way that you speak about the physical love between a mate and his female you must find it surprising that I have not ripped your clothes off. Let me clue you in on something that either this day and age has warped for you or you actually never knew; what happens between a mated pair on their bonding night and on any night after that is not about getting your rocks off,” he gritted out the words with disdain. “It is about love, sacrifice, commitment and a willingness to be vulnerable with your mate. It not only solidifies the bond between mates but it also creates a level of intimacy that you will never share with another, nor should you. It binds your souls together making you whole once again.”
Lucian held Peri’s gaze as he spoke and Peri knew that everything he was saying was true. She knew that he was right
and she did need him as if he were the last breath in a world being sucked dry of oxygen.
“I love you, Perizada. I don’t know when it happened but I know that I love you. You are my mate and when you are ready to admit that you need me, use the bond and I will return to you.”
Peri took a step towards him as she felt her heart crash into her toes. “You’re leaving?” The desperation in her voice normally would have made her cringe but in that moment she didn’t care how she sounded.
“I do not wish to hurt you with cruel words said in anger and I am afraid that is what will happen if we continue on like this. I will not be far and I will keep you safe.” He walked over to her and stared down into her eyes. His hand reached up and traced her cheek more gently than a hand so large should be able to. Peri’s eyes fluttered closed just as his warm, firm lips pressed to hers. It was over much too quickly and he was gone when her eyes opened and the tears finally came.
∞
Lucian drew on his wolf’s speed, needing to get as far away from his mate as possible before he let his wolf take over and simply claim what was theirs. Not as a man claims property as she had so eloquently said, but as a lover claims the heart of the one he longs for. If she would let him, he would give her everything she needed and when he could give her no more, he would petition the One who could. If she would only let him he would conquer her demons and give her rest for the first time in centuries, just as she would give him rest.
Lucian phased into his wolf form without thought as soon as he was out of sight. He didn’t know where he was going since they were in the fae realm and he didn’t know their land as well as his own, all he knew was that he needed to run and possibly kill something. He didn’t want to leave her, especially since she did not bare his mark, and their bond was not complete. But just as he told her, if he stayed he was going to say something that he would not be able to take back or do something she would regret. Because what she did not understand was that he was on the verge of biting her with our without her consent and he did not want to do that. The man did not want to do that. His wolf just wanted their mate. He wanted her marked, bonded, mated, and by his side where she belonged. The wolf did not understand why their mate was being so difficult and had decided they should just take matters into their own hands. Lucian chuckled to himself and told his wolf he had a lot to learn about their mate if he thought forcing something on her was a good idea.
His paws moved swiftly across the ground. He barely made any sound at all, even with his large form. He had learned to be invisible while living in the dark forest. Living, he snorted to himself, I was not living, I was simply surviving. He tried not to let his mind revisit those memories of two centuries in a land where evil had saturated the very soil he walked on and the air he breathed felt like noxious fumes to his lungs. Now he held his own darkness at bay only with the knowledge that he had hope because he had found his mate. Even after all those years alone, all those days and nights wondering if he would ever see his family again let alone have the opportunity to find his true mate, she was here, she was real and alive and breathing. Just knowing that eased the ache in him if only a little.
He felt her pain and confusion and it took every amount of strength in him not to turn around and run back to her. She needed time, be it ten minutes or ten months; time to think and work through her frustrations. He would stay as a shadow in her mind and once he returned to the house he would talk to Adam about taking him along once Peri was ready to make a move again. No matter what she thought, he would never really leave her. Even if he wanted to he could not. He not only loved her, he liked her. Liked her spunk and tenacity, liked her bravery, her devotion and selflessness. No, he would not give her up, he would wait, like the patient hunter he was and when she was finally ready he would answer her call. He finally slowed to a walk and found a spot next to a tall tree and lay down in the late evening sun. His wolf did not want to relax, he wanted to go back, to take their mate and show her that she was theirs and belonged with them. Instead of doing what his heart and soul longed for he closed his eyes and imagined a day when she would finally be his, the way he was already hers.
∞
A knock at the door startled Peri, ripping her from her tearful meditations. That alone told her how distracted she was, to be snuck up on, even by a quiet, little healer.
“Come in, Sally,” she said wearily.
“Tell me,” was all Sally had to say.
Peri kept her back to the healer as she told her everything that had been said between her and Lucian. She knew that something in every healer compelled people to share their burdens with them because it was in their nature to want to help, no matter how jaded they might have become. But usually that compulsion didn’t work on Peri. But she was beginning to realize that the normal rules didn’t apply when your heart was breaking.
“I drove him away,” Peri admitted. “I knew I would. I knew he wouldn’t be able to put up with me, hell I can’t put up with me half the time. He left and you know what, Sally, I don’t blame him one bit for going.”
“You have to know that he’s not really gone. Peri he can’t leave you any more than you could leave him. He’s giving you time, and though it might have come out in words of anger, it’s a gift that some true mates don’t get.”
“It may be a gift to me, but to him it is the equal of torture. I know it. I can feel it inside of him, see his pain through the bond and it’s driving me mad.” She finally turned around and looked at the American who became a healer, a mate, and a friend. “I have always had two things to do; look out for the healers and make sure the wolves played nice. There was a brief time that I stayed away from the human realm but as soon as you appeared I returned to do what I have always done.”
“And now the rug has been pulled out from under your feet,” Sally offered with her trademark gentle smile.
“I don’t think I could have landed any harder on my butt if I tried,” Peri admitted.
“What do you want to do?”
Peri clenched her eyes closed as she took a deep breath through her nose. “What should I do?”
Sally chuckled, though she meant no disrespect towards the fae. “The powerful Perizada asking the American from Texas what she should do. Have to admit, Peri, never thought I’d see the day.”
“Well if all you’re going to do is gloat with your Texas size ego then you might want to use that nifty bond to call out for help from your mate. I grow weary of being emotional and find I need to turn somebody into something I can squish with my shoe.”
“That’s the Peri fairy we all know and love,” Sally laughed but quickly smoothed her face. “But seriously, you need to do what is best for you and Lucian. Peri, nobody doubts your desire, or ability to rescue those healers. But even the strongest heroes have to rest and do the things necessary to make them capable of being the best. Every Alpha knows that without his true mate he is weaker than the others. Every male knows that there is a darkness that grows inside of them because the animal they share their bodies with harbors violence, the need to dominate and have the desire for the kill that the man does not. There is one thing that keeps that darkness at bay. What a gift we are to the males of the Canis lupis species. But he is just as much a gift to you.” She reached out and laid her hand on Peri’s arm allowing the magic that only healers were endowed with to flow into her. It was peaceful, as though water had been thrown on the fire inside of her quenching the burning inferno.
“Now imagine that times infinity,” Sally whispered. “That is what the mate bond is. That is what you will know once you give yourself to him and he to you. Tell me Peri, how would anyone deny you that, or expect you to save the world without it?”
Sally turned and left the room as quietly as she had come, pulling the door closed behind her. Peri was speechless, which was a rarity for the fae. Sally had just turned her world upside down. She had given her a glimpse, just a glimpse of what the bond between true mates brought. It was l
ike rain drenching the dry earth after years of drought. If felt as though, for that brief moment in time while Sally had touched her allowing peace to fill her, she was whole. Every cell healthy, every nerve relaxed, every beat of her heart suddenly had purpose. How could that be? How could one as imperfect as her find contentment with one as imperfect as him?
“Because you complement one another, Perizada,” Peri heard the Great Luna’s voice fill her room and that same peace returned only filled with a finality that Peri knew only came with the deity. “True contentment comes when you accept your weaknesses and embrace your mate’s strength. You will both find fault in the other, but you will choose to see past the fault to the soul that lies beneath them and you will choose love. When you make that choice there is no room for doubt, fear or hesitancy, there is only room for honesty, trust and hope.”
“I want to,” Peri whispered to the once again empty room. “But I’m scared, I admit it. I fear a love that deep, that complete. Because if I ever lost it, how would I survive?”
“You can never lose me. I was yours before our time, and I will be yours long after it has past.” She should have known he would be listening, should have known he would feel her pain and put his own aside so he could attend to her.
Lucian’s breath stopped in his lungs as her voice filled his mind. “Come back. P-p-please, come back.” Her broken cry was a stab to his heart and he was back on his feet running without even thinking.
He phased and grabbed a pair of pants that were lying on a shelf as he entered the house. One of the females, most likely Sally because he was learning she just did things like that, must have put them there for him knowing he would need them. He slipped them on and then followed Peri’s scent and the sound of her heartbeat to her room. He pushed the door open without knocking and she was in his arms before the door closed behind him.