Chapter 22
“You lied to me!”
My father looked as if he wanted to strike me, but I wasn’t alone and defenseless like I had been in the limo on the way home from the hospital and he knew it.
Apparently, James thought the same thing.
He moved between us saying, “Why don’t we all sit down and calmly discuss…”
“You…” my father turned on him shoving his finger in James’ face. “You turned my daughter into a cheap, worthless wh…”
“I strongly suggest you watch your language in front of my wife,” James interrupted warningly. “Don’t think I won’t throw you out of our home.”
“Your home,” he scoffed taking in the clean but modestly furnished one-bedroom apartment. “This isn’t a home, this is a hovel.”
“Stop it! Just stop it!” I moved James out of the way and confronted my father. “For the first time in my life I am truly happy. If you had any paternal feelings for me at all you would be glad for me, but I suppose that is too much to ask since you haven’t shown me any affection my whole life.”
I paused, taking a deep, calming breath as I continued, “I didn’t lie to you, I graduated from college the day before we got married, that was the only promise I made you. We aren’t asking you for anything except to leave us alone. As far as I’m concerned, you are nothing to me, no let me rephrase that, you are less than nothing to me. Children should be more than just a commodity to be bartered off like some inanimate object. I’m a person and I have feelings. I never intended to marry Richard, I was going to find a teaching position and leave Austin regardless as soon as I graduated. James had nothing to do with my decision. I made that decision long before I met him. I am my own person. You may have given me life, but you…don’t…own…me!”
I was shaking with fury by the time I finished my speech, but I refused to back down, glaring at him, determined not to be the one to break eye contact.
“Why you little b…” James started forward again and my father, noticing, bit off the rest of his expletive. “Fine, you can have her,” my father said disdainfully “she’s damaged goods now anyway. Don’t come crying to me for money.”
“We won’t,” James assured him quietly.
“Here,” grabbing my purse I produced a set of keys and held them out to him.
“What’s this,” he asked, eyeing the keys suspiciously.
“The keys to the convertible,” I answered as unemotionally as I could manage. “I’m sure having it back is more important to you than I ever was.”
“Keep it. I don’t want it,” he replied coldly. “Call it a wedding present. It’s used now, just like you,” he threw over his shoulder as he turned to open the door to the apartment.
“I’ll make sure everyone knows how generous you are,” I retorted bitterly to his retreating back as he hurried down the outside stairs. “I know how important appearances are to you,” I mumbled as I crumpled to the ground.
“Allison, sweetheart,” James was there, squatting down beside me and taking me into his arms, offering his shirt as a handkerchief to dry the tears I didn’t even realize were staining my cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I truly thought things would be different once we were married.”
“I know,” I sniffled. “You just described my whole life. I kept thinking maybe if I got good grades, won some awards, showed them how popular I was maybe they would think I was worth loving. Hannah constantly tried to convince me that they loved me, deep down, just didn’t know how to show it, but I wasn’t fooled. Even though I tried to act like I didn’t care she knew better.”
“The man who just left here isn’t capable of love,” James said frowningly. “That is totally incomprehensible to me. How can anyone be that devoid of genuine human feeling?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged helplessly.
“Are you going to be able to put them out of your life?” James asked skeptically, pulling me up and over to the gorgeous Victorian sofa, Elsee’s wedding present to us. “What about your mother.”
“My mother’s main goal in life is admiration,” I replied in disgust. “That’s all I’ve ever been good for in her eyes, a dress-up doll for her to parade in front of everyone so they can ooh and aah over my beauty and how alike we are. She spends every bit of money my father gives her on hair, clothes, makeup, and plastic surgery in order to keep up the illusion that she’s still young. To say she’s superficial and shallow is actually being kind.”
Minutes passed. The room was silent save the ticking of the Victorian grandfather clock the Fowlkes had given us as a wedding gift, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
Elsee, knowing my love of all things Victorian, had helped Mrs. Fowlkes pick out the piece. We didn’t have much, but what we did have was absolutely perfect. Our small apartment might appear a hovel to my father, but to us it was a home filled with love and as such…perfect.
“Speaking of superficial and shallow, I guess we own a red convertible now,” James said lightly.
“I guess we do,” I agreed in the same vein. “And that’s not all,” I said determined to keep the mood positive. “I have a savings account I haven’t told you about.”
“A savings account…?” James queried cautiously. “Something your father set up for you?”
“No, my parents don’t know about it. I opened an account when I started college,” I replied tentatively, unsure how James would react. “My parents gave me an allowance of two thousand dollars a month, but since I didn’t need all of it...”
“You had an allowance of two thousand a month?” James stared at me, stunned. “That’s more than most people’s pay checks. Didn’t you say your father paid all of your living expenses?”
“He paid my rent and utilities, but I still had to buy my own food, everyday clothes, and incidentals,” I shrugged. “It takes quite a bit of money to present the correct image. My mother decided two thousand a month would be sufficient so my father coughed it up.”
“I understand the food and incidentals but what do you mean by everyday clothes?” he asked confused. “What other type is there?”
“My parents attend a lot of social gatherings, charity dinners, things like that,” I replied carefully. “Whenever they required me to attend my mother always made sure I had the…proper attire.”
“Proper attire…?” he raised an eyebrow.
“They would buy me a designer gown,” I sighed, “With matching accessories.”
“And how much does a designer gown with matching accessories usually set one back?”
“It varies,” I hedged.
“Ballpark figure,” he insisted.
“Let’s just say it was more than my monthly allowance.”
“Incredible,” James shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t you think this is a conversation we should have had before the wedding?”
“Would you have changed your mind and called the whole thing off?”
“No, of course not, but…”
“Then what does it matter?” I asked, being the reasonable one for once. “You knew I was a spoiled rich girl from the start. Does knowing the details make any difference?”
James laughed as he pulled me onto his lap.
“I guess not. It just makes it even more amazing that you were willing to give it all up just for me. So how rich are we?” he asked jokingly, only half interested in the answer as he began kissing the side of my neck.
“Hmm…” closing my eyes, I savored the feel of his lips on my skin. “Maybe we should go to bed early tonight,” I suggested languidly.
“You didn’t answer my question,” James murmured as he nibbled on my ear. “Besides we haven’t eaten supper yet and it’s still light out.”
“Not hungry for food and that’s what curtains are for,” I turned my head and found his lips with mine.
“You’re avoiding the question,” he murmured against my lips “That much,
huh?”
“Over thirty thousand,” I answered in resignation.
James froze.
“You’re kiddin’ me, right.”
“I put a thousand in savings every month,” I shrugged. “I wanted to make sure I would have something to fall back on when I graduated from college just in case I couldn’t find a teaching position right away. I was going to give it back to my parents after we married, but Richard said I should keep it. I thought I would let you decide what we…”
“Stover knew about it?”
I bit my lip in vexation. I hadn’t told James anything about what had happened between Richard and me in the bedroom at the Fowlkes right before the wedding and I was regretting my casual use of his name realizing the conversation would probably turn in that direction because of my stupid blunder.
“I may have mentioned it in passing while we were waiting for the ceremony to start. What do you think we should do with the money?” I asked attempting to return to our original discussion.
“I’m not through discussing Stover yet. What ever happened to his goodbye kiss, the one he was so gung-ho about claiming? He seemed content to let you go after the reception, but he’s never struck me as the type to give up that easily.”
I closed my eyes praying for inspiration. Although I had practiced how to tell James in my head many times, I had yet to hit on an approach that made it sound…palatable.
“Richard decided he would rather not kiss someone else’s wife,” that was true enough but I knew I couldn’t leave it at that, as much as I wanted to. “He kissed me before the wedding, when we were alone.”
There was silence. I opened my eyes to peek at James’ face, hoping he wasn’t too angry, to find him…grinning. I blinked a couple of times, hardly believing my eyes.
“Wait a minute,” I said in confusion. “You aren’t angry?”
“I might have been…no…I would have been,” he corrected himself “if you had told me the day of the wedding, but I have to admit that it’s what I would have done in his place. He needed to know for sure that you were making the right decision; otherwise, he would have always wondered ‘what if’. I’m assuming that he got no response from you or you wouldn’t be sitting in my lap at this very moment.”
“You mean to tell me,” I could feel my anger building and I made no attempt to stop it, “that I spent the whole last week since the wedding, on our honeymoon, worried about how to tell you, worried that you’d be furious, and you…you…”
I tried to get up from his lap, but he laughingly held me down.
“I’m sure I could work up a lather if you really want me to,” he said soothingly.
“Why aren’t you in a murderous rage?” I yelled, infuriated. “Another man, and not just any man but the one I was supposed to marry, kisses me, and it wasn’t just any kiss but a soft, tender, searching kiss designed to make me want more, right before I’m supposed to marry you, in my wedding dress no less, and you find it humorous.”
“Allison,” I could see he was trying to curb his amusement in deference to my anger, but was having a difficult time with it, “I just spent the most incredible week of my life, bar none, making love to the most enchanting creature I’ve ever laid eyes on, bar none, and I get to continue doing so ‘as long as we both shall live’. Do you think I should begrudge Stover the one and only kiss that he will ever get from you?”
“Well…when you put it that way…” I said, slightly mollified.
It felt like a light bulb had suddenly turned on in my head. James was no longer jealous, not because he didn’t care, but because he knew he had no reason to be jealous. The glorious week we had just spent together had been all he needed to feel totally secure about my feelings for him.
“Our honeymoon was awesome,” I conceded, stroking the face that I loved so dearly. “Well, after that first night,” I qualified.
“I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“You more than made up for it during the rest of the honeymoon.”
“Too bad we only had a week.”
Standing up, I took his hand and began moving slowly towards the bedroom.
“Does it have to be over yet?”
“Not by a long shot,” James replied fervently, swinging me up into his arms. “Not by a long shot,” he repeated as he kicked the bedroom door shut.