“I don’t get it,” Minerva exclaimed. “He wanted to protect me! It was Harold who persuaded me to get a bodyguard!”
“He did that to throw off any suspicion. At the same time, he made sure you hired the worst private detective in London. Someone too stupid to get in the way of his plan.”
“And who was that?” Tim asked.
“Have some more champagne, Tim,” I said.
“And then Harold Chase killed Reginald Parker,” Snape said.
“You’ve got it in one, Chief Inspector. Chase had chosen Parker because he knew he was going to be the Santa Claus at Harrods. First of all he hired him to go on the roof. Then he killed him and took his place. Tim’s business card must have fallen out of his pocket during the fight. It was when I saw the card that I put two and two together…”
“You did your maths homework?” Tim asked.
“No, Tim. I cracked the case.”
There was a long silence. Either I’d been talking too slowly or they’d been drinking too quickly but all the champagne was gone. And I hadn’t even touched my lemonade.
Jake Hammill put an arm around Minerva. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” he said. “What a terrible experience for you!”
Minerva shrugged. “It wasn’t so bad,” she said. “I’ve got rid of Harold. I’m going to get lots of publicity. And my CD’s certain to go to number one.” She got to her feet. I thought she was going to leave, but she took one last look at me. “You’re quite smart for a scruffy fourteen-year-old,” she said. Then she flicked her eyes towards Tim. “As for you, you’re just an utter loss.”
She walked out.
“What did she mean?” Tim wailed.
I thought for a moment. “Justanutterloss. It’s Greek for sensational,” I said.
“Really?” Tim’s eyes lit up.
“Sure, Tim,” I said. Well, after all, it was Christmas.
There are a few things to add.
Two weeks later, Tim and I got a surprise in the post – and this time it wasn’t a bomb, an unpaid bill or a poison pen letter. It was a note from Jake Hammill. It seemed that he wasn’t so bad after all. We had just saved his most famous client from a murder attempt that would have been not only the end of her career, but – even worse – the end of his percentage. And as a token of his gratitude, he’d decided to send us a cheque for ten thousand pounds. I’ll never forget the sight of Tim holding it between his hands. The last time he had seen that many zeros, it had been in his school report.
We talked a lot about what to do with the money. Of course, we were going to have a proper Christmas lunch. Tim was going to pay off the rent. I was finally going to get a new school uniform – the last one had so many patches in it, it was more patches than uniform. But that would still leave us with several thousand pounds, which was just about the most money we’d ever had.
I forget who suggested it first, but that was when we decided to fly out to Australia to be reunited with our parents. It had been years since we’d seen them, and sometimes I thought it was unnatural for a young lad to be living without his mother, often crying himself to sleep, having to be tucked in every night and cheered up by his brother. Not that I minded doing all that for Tim, but even so I thought it would do us all good to be a family again, just for a while.
And the next day we bought two British Airways tickets to Sydney. We were going to travel out as soon as the Easter term ended, and maybe one day I’ll write down what actually happened when we got there. The Radius of the Lost Shark. That’s the title I’ve got written down in my notebook. It’s another story I’ve got to tell.
What else is there? Harold Chase got life in jail for attempted murder, but looking at him I didn’t think that would be too many years. Snape took the credit for the arrest, of course. They actually put his face on the front cover of the monthly police journal, Hello, Hello, Hello magazine. Reginald Parker’s remains were scattered in the River Thames, in front of the National Theatre – as he’d requested in his will. It can’t have been pleasant, though. He hadn’t been cremated.
And what about Minerva? She may have got to number one, but I didn’t care. I never listened to her music again. She may have had everything, but without a heart you’re just nothing. She was like a December without Christmas – and at the end of the day, what’s the point of that?
Johnny Naples opened his mouth and tried to speak. “The falcon…” he said. Then a nasty, bubbling sound…
When vertically challenged Johnny Naples entrusts Tim Diamond with a package worth over three million pounds, he’s making a big mistake. For Tim Diamond is probably the worst detective in the entire world.
Next day, Johnny’s dead. Tim gets the blame, his smart, wisecracking younger brother Nick gets the package – and every crook in town is out to get them!
So there I was in a maximum-security prison outside London, accused of theft, trespass, criminal damage and cruelty to animals… Me, public enemy number two!
Framed for jewel robbery, quick-thinking young Nick Diamond finds himself sharing a prison cell with Johnny Powers, Public Enemy Number One. His only chance of rescuing the situation is to nail the Fence, the country’s master criminal.
But first, Nick has to get out of jail – which is where his older brother Tim, the world’s worst private detective, comes in. And with Ma Powers and her gang waiting to greet the jailbirds, the heat is really on!
McGuffin had finished talking. The telephone was dead and any minute now he’d be joining it. The stuff he had spilled down his coat was blood, his own blood…
Tim Diamond, the world’s most defective private detective, is broke – as his much smarter younger brother Nick is quick to remind him. So when a mysterious stranger offers Tim a wad of money for his overcoat, it seems like a stroke of good luck.
But there are worse things in life than being broke. Being pumped full of lead, for one – which is what happens to the stranger and could soon be the fate of the Diamond brothers unless they can outwit the unknown assassin on their tail!
“Tim,” I asked. “What’s the French for murder?” Tim shrugged. “Why do you want to know?” “I’ve got a feeling it’s something we’re going to need…”
When the hard-up Diamond brothers win a weekend for two in Paris, it looks like their luck is taking a turn for the better. But looks can be deceptive.
No sooner have they arrived in the French capital than the brothers are up to their necks in danger. There’s a nasty smell in the air and it’s not the cheese. If Nick and Tim aren’t careful, their dream holiday could end up being a nightmare from which they’ll never wake…
It’s not fair. I do my homework. I clean my teeth twice a day. Why does everyone want to kill me?
It’s a dangerous life being the younger brother of the world’s worst private detective – but Nick Diamond has survived … so far. He’s due a holiday, so he should be happy when his brother Tim receives an invitation to a school reunion on a remote Scottish island.
But Nick’s got a bad feeling, and it’s not indigestion. When he meets their fellow guests, the feeling only gets worse. Especially when they start dying in ever more bizarre ways… Could it be the Diamond brothers’ days are numbered?
“My name is Carter,” he said at last. He spoke with an American accent. “Joe Carter. I’ve just got in from Chicago. And I’ve got a problem.”
The man in the photo is so blurry, it’s impossible to make out what he really looks like. And that’s before he was run over by a steamroller! His name was Lenny Smile and he ran a children’s charity called Dream Time, financed by millionaire author Joe Carter.
Now Carter wants to know just what happened to Smile – and to the money. Unfortunately he’s hired Tim Diamond, the world’s most defective private detective, to find out!
ANTHONY HOROWITZ is one of the most popular contemporary children’s writers. Both The Power of Five and Alex Rider are number one bestselling series enjoyed by millions of readers worldwide.
> When Anthony launched the Alex Rider series he created a phenomenon in children’s books, spurring a new trend of junior spy books and inspiring thousands of previously reluctant readers. Hailed as a reading hero, Anthony has also won many major awards, including the Bookseller Association/Nielson Author of the Year Award, the Children’s Book of the Year Award at the British Book Awards, and the Red House Children’s Book Award. The first Alex Rider adventure, Stormbreaker was made into a blockbuster movie in 2006.
Anthony’s other titles for Walker Books include the Diamond Brothers mysteries; Groosham Grange and its sequel, Return to Groosham Grange; The Devil and his Boy; Granny; The Switch;’ and a collection of horror stories, More Bloody Horowitz. Anthony also writes extensively for TV, with programmes including Foyle’s war, Midsomer Murders, Collision and, most recently, Injustice. His other books include The House of Silk — a brand new Sherlock Holmes adventure, written with the endorsement of the Conan Doyle estate.
Although abandoned by both his sons, Anthony Horowitz continues to live in Clerkenwell with his wife, Jill Green and the ghost of his dog, Lucky. You can find out more about Anthony and his books at:
www.anthonyhorowitz.com
www.alexrider.com
www.powerof5.co.uk
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.
First published 2007 by Walker Books Ltd
87 Vauxhall Walk, London SE11 5HJ
Text © 2007 Stormbreaker Productions Ltd
Cover illustration © 2007 Martin Chatterton
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, taping and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data:
a catalogue record for this book is
available from the British Library
ISBN 978-1-4063-0485-5
www.walkerbooks.co.uk
Anthony Horowitz, The Greek Who Stole Christmas
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