He smiled. “Well, considering we’ve been divorced for a few years now, it’s none of her damn business.”
She stared into his brown eyes. They’d only shared one kiss, right after the movie, a sweet, tender kiss she’d often thought about since that night until the normal stresses of being a responsible adult shoved the memory into a lockbox where it would quit pulling at her heart and conscience every time she wanted to recall it.
Before she realized what she was doing, she leaned in and kissed him, hard. At first he seemed too shocked to respond, but just as it finally hit her what she was doing, and that she probably should not have done it, he started kissing her back.
Not only kissing her back, but grabbing her and pulling her tightly against him, one hand firmly clamped around the nape of her neck, the other arm around her waist, so that she had no other option but to drape her arms around his neck and hold on tight.
Which she did.
When he finally broke their kiss, he pressed his forehead against hers. “Okay, sorry, what were you saying again?” he breathlessly asked.
“I…” She couldn’t remember. There’d been an apology and snot-sobbing tears and…
That was when he kissed her again, his hand deliciously curling around the nape of her neck once more, holding her there. He took his time with his lips, gently exploring, completely in control.
After shoving back her initial ingrained reflex of wanting to pull away, she let go to him, let him take control.
This time when he ended their kiss her brain was blissfully silent and free of all the recriminations and wildly swirling thoughts that normally plagued her.
Feeling secure for the first time that she could remember in her adult life.
She stared into his eyes, not sure what to say. Hell, she was afraid to say the wrong thing.
“How about dinner tonight?” he asked. “My place. Josh will be there, too. We live together. I can even have Ted come over. He eats with us a lot. You know, we can talk, catch up. Discuss all…this.”
“The house?”
“Anything you want to discuss. Just…I’m single. You’re single. If nothing else, let’s catch up, even if only as friends. No pressure. Please? We can tell your mom we need to plan the decluttering.”
She remembered meeting his two older brothers. Back then, they were just as cute as Mark. And if the other two brothers were there, maybe it would help keep her from doing something stupid, like throwing herself at Mark again.
I live in Spokane. This is a really, really bad idea.
But she wasn’t a teenager anymore. She wasn’t beholden to her father’s rules.
“Okay. Dinner. Sure.”
She would have killed for the grin he gave her. “We’ll cook,” he said. “You just come, relax, talk.”
Reality set in. “What about my mom?”
“I’ll talk to Ross and Loren and I’m sure they’ll be fine keeping her busy.”
“Okay,” she said, nodding. “Thank you.”
Chapter Seven
Ted wasn’t sure what was going through his youngest brother’s head…
Scratch that, I know exactly what’s going through his head.
He knew Mark wanted to help Essline Barrone and her mom, but he also remembered far too well how his brother had reacted to getting dumped by the woman in high school.
He and Josh had tried for months to shake their little brother out of his funk.
He also thought it was no surprise that Mark’s ex-wife, Carolyn, had strongly resembled Essie in appearance.
He didn’t know what the woman looked like now, but he remembered the cute, albeit quiet, brown-haired, brown-eyed girl. He even remembered the thread of envy running through him at the time. She was smart, got fantastic grades, and was cute without being a stuck-up snobby bitch.
Hell, he’d even been jealous of his little brother at the time.
And then she’d dumped Mark without much of an explanation.
Now Ted understood that, when he talked with her, it would likely prove to have been a case of not wanting anyone to get too close and expose her father’s hoarding. But back then he’d had to deal with the fallout as Mark’s big brother.
And he damn sure didn’t want to have to deal with it again when she left Florida to return home to Spokane.
Not to mention, the last thing they needed during a televised case was anyone getting too close to any of them emotionally. They’d lucked out so far that their close group of friends were trustworthy and helped them take great care to keep their extracurricular activities quiet, but one could only risk that for so long.
Then again, all three of them were pretty much in a dry spell in terms of relationships.
Josh knocked on Ted’s doorway. “Got a minute?” He had his iPad in his hand.
“Yeah.” Ted got an actual office since he had to see clients in private. They could afford a larger facility, but none of them wanted to put the money into doing that when their current arrangement was only a minor annoyance on occasion.
“Got two of the large containers scheduled for delivery at the Barrone house tomorrow morning, early. By seven, they said. What’d Purson say?”
“He’ll be down in a couple of hours. He’s going to meet us there at the house at two.”
“I’m going?”
“Damn right you’re going, in case I need you to help me beat some sense into Mark.”
Screw the sensitive approach. He didn’t want his brother getting hurt.
Again.
“Fast-tracking this might not be a bad thing,” Josh said.
“I know. I suspect I’ll be helping the family more through grief than working on letting go of things.”
“They already signed the contract, and our waivers and releases for filming.”
“I saw those come through,” Ted said. “I wish he’d let me talk to them before doing that.”
“Well, it’s not a bad thing.”
“I don’t want this backfiring in the middle of a job, much less a shoot.”
And he didn’t want it backfiring on his little brother, either.
“Do you think we should talk to Ross and Loren?” Josh asked. “They might be able to help us with him. Tony, too. Voices of reason?”
“I already thought about that.”
“And?”
“No arguments there.” Ted sat back in his chair. “Ross texted me that he’s already rounding up help for this weekend.”
“See? That’s good. Maybe we can get the house cleared out in a few days and then put it past us.”
“Do you really think it’s going to be that easy if he falls for her again?” Ted asked. “She’ll head back to Spokane, but you and I will be left dealing with the aftermath.”
“Then again, maybe we’re underestimating him.”
Ted gave him one of “those” looks.
After a moment, Josh let out a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.” He scowled. “Which sucks, because this is the first time it’s looked like he’s had any light in his eyes since his divorce.”
“Too bad we don’t have a nice subbie girl to fool around with,” Josh said. “Keep his mind off Essie.”
They’d each had play partners off and on, but other than their brief dabbling with a poly arrangement, no one they felt a strong enough connection with to take it outside of the dungeon. Definitely not enough to take it to a sexual relationship level, especially considering how emotionally gun-shy they all were as a result of their divorces.
Brothers first, their business second. Any woman in their lives would have to understand that.
Any woman who was right for them would understand that. And yes, he realized how outside the norm it was to think in terms of having a closed poly group with his brothers, but they’d already tried the other, vanilla route, and each of them had failed miserably. They had several friends successfully living in poly situations, so why couldn’t they? They’d alre
ady had a successful poly relationship, until the woman wanted heavier kinds of play than they could give her.
It’s way too soon to think about that. Right now, they needed to get the Barrone case done, handled, and get Essline back to Spokane.
Then the three of them could get together and Ted could tell his brothers what he’d like to do. That he’d like to see if they could find a kinky woman who would want not one, but three guys in her life on a permanent basis. If it was something Mark and Josh would even be interested in. They’d all joked about it at some point, but they’d never had a serious sit-down discussion about it since amicably dissolving their other poly quad.
I think it’s time we do.
* * * *
Essie still couldn’t believe what she’d done. It was totally out of character for her to act like that. To just grab someone and kiss him like that—well, okay, he wasn’t a total stranger, but close enough to one.
And he’d kissed her back.
Twice.
The fact that she’d had such a visceral reaction to him didn’t help her sort things out, either.
What the hell am I thinking?
She followed him outside and they locked up behind them before she headed to Ross and Loren’s. The men started moving her mom’s things into her room for her while Loren got lunch preparations underway.
“Are you all right?” Loren quietly asked Essie while they were alone in the kitchen.
“Yeah, I’m just…still in shock, I guess.” As good an excuse as any. Not like she was going to admit to the woman, Hey, I was sucking face with your friend in the middle of that freaking disaster area.
She already felt like enough of a failure as a daughter. Her dormant libido getting the better of her for a few weak moments certainly didn’t need to get added to her rapidly growing list of personality flaws.
Essie didn’t know if Mark staying around was because of his normal job or because of their little interlude, but she certainly didn’t mind it. After they finished eating, her mom called and made arrangements to have her father’s body picked up from the hospital morgue he’d been transported to for the autopsy. She also set up an appointment for the next afternoon, to go to the funeral home and finalize the arrangements.
Before Essie could bring up the topic of going to Mark’s house for dinner, he handled it for her.
“Mrs. Barrone, I hope you don’t mind if my brothers and I borrow your daughter tonight. We’d like to have her over for dinner to talk. Fast-track the arrangements for the decluttering as well as pick her brain. Professionally,” he added, glancing at Essie.
“Oh?” her mom asked.
He flashed her mom a smile that nearly made Essie wet right there. “We get some animal hoarding cases, and—”
Her mom waved her hand at him. “Say no more, please. I always wished we could have pets, but you can see why I put my foot down.” She turned to Essie. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know you always wanted pets.”
“It’s okay, Mom. I get it now.”
Mark winked at her, leaving her both horny and feeling slightly guilty. A few minutes later, he said, “I’d like to go back over there one more time before my brothers and the producer arrive, if that’s okay?”
Her mom handed him the key. “Be my guest. You don’t need my permission.”
Essie opted to walk over with Mark. “Nice fib,” she muttered as they headed up the driveway.
He shrugged. “Not totally a fib. Usually when we get an animal hoarding case, county animal services has already been called in. I wouldn’t mind picking your brain about it.” He smiled at her. “Among other things.”
She didn’t understand why he had this effect on her, if it was just the stressful circumstances, or unrequited teen love, or what.
She also didn’t understand the uncertainty she felt, the disturbance in her normally perfect and well-controlled equilibrium. Never in her life did she ever feel uncertain, except in the past couple of hours about this particular man.
“How are you holding up?” he asked as he unlocked the door. “With your dad’s death?”
She thought maybe he’d want to talk about what happened between them earlier, or, quite possibly, do it again.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I’m a little surprised she’s not having a service, but I certainly don’t want to have one. It’ll be bad enough I’m cursing his name over the next couple of weeks while we excavate this place.”
“Hopefully it won’t take that long to complete the initial decluttering.”
He followed her inside to the kitchen. Then, she headed off in the direction where the bedroom she used to call home lay. She had to turn sideways to make it through the rabbit trail leading down the hallway.
It came as no surprise that the room was filled, as best she could tell pretty much to the ceiling, with crap.
Mark had silently followed behind her.
She blew out an aggravated breath. If it wasn’t for Mark’s expertise and a shitload of helping hands, there would be no way she could get this place cleaned out in a month, much less a week.
“Son of a bitch,” she muttered, kicking at a box blocking the doorway.
It was too much for her. She kicked it again. “You son of a bitch!” she screamed.
“I take it you’re not talking to me,” Mark said from behind her.
“No. Him. My asshole of a father.” She kicked the box again, getting a little satisfaction when she heard something rattle inside it. “Was all this shit worth more to you than we were? Huh?” Another kick, and the side of the box caved in.
Unfortunately, it was the lynchpin in a pile, and the entire pile tipped over.
Toward her.
“Watch out!” Mark grabbed her by the arm and yanked her out of the way as Mount Trashmore toppled, filling the space where she’d been standing with more junk.
“Are you okay?” he asked when they got back to the kitchen.
“No, I’m not fucking okay,” she sobbed, happy to let him hold her close. “I’m not. Fucking. Okay.”
He seemed as happy to console her as she was to be consoled by him.
“You’re not alone,” he said, his arms feeling way too comfortable around her again. “I swear you’re not alone here. You can lean on me.”
“This sucks so bad,” she mumbled against his chest. “And I’m sorry I’m acting like an idiot right now.”
* * * *
I’m not sorry.
But he knew that would sound really, really wrong. “I don’t think you’re acting like an idiot.” And he didn’t. He’d seen, almost verbatim, this kind of reaction before. Or close enough for government work.
This was the first time, however, that he’d been pulled so personally into the situation. Even with their aunt, while they felt badly for their cousins and they loved their aunt, it was apart from them.
It was different.
This was personal, because it was affecting Essie.
“How soon are we going to be able to start this?” she asked.
“Josh sent me a text. We’ll have trash containers here tomorrow morning. You and your mom are free to do whatever you want, but I know the producer will want to start filming as soon as possible.”
“And he’ll be here today?”
“At two, yes. Look, I’ll talk to him for you, see if he can minimize your screen time.”
“Thank you. I’d really appreciate that.” She seemed to realize he still had his arms around her. She carefully pulled away. “Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Hey, seriously. I want us to be friends. Tonight at dinner, just hang out with us, relax, decompress. I already talked to Ross about it, he said no problem in keeping your mom busy.”
“Thank you. I appreciate you being so nice about all this. I know it’s your job and everything, but still, thank you.”
He made her look at him. “This isn’t just about my job, okay? I know a lot of years have passed, but I get it.” He didn’t want to t
ell her the full extent of his pining for her. Not yet, at least. It might scare her off. “I feel badly that I didn’t make you feel secure enough back then to confide in me.”
“It’s not your fault. I didn’t confide in anyone. I was roommates in college with Amy for over six months before I told her even a little about it. I felt too ashamed.”
“The shame isn’t yours to bear.”
“I know that now,” she said, staring around them again. “But…” She met his gaze head-on. “Growing up like this, it took me a while to realize most people don’t live like this. I couldn’t bring friends home to play, or have sleepovers, or even enjoy holiday dinners. I couldn’t enjoy having a Christmas tree proudly displayed in our front window. None of that. Birthday parties.”
She looked around again. “I never felt good enough. Because of all this…crap. It sucks knowing your father would rather have this shit than a happy kid, you know? And Mom couldn’t stand up to him. I get it. I do. But I felt angry for a lot of years. Still am, at him. I know he was sick, but it doesn’t change what he took from me, and from Mom, for all of those years in exchange for the crap.”
Mark left Essie in the kitchen while he explored the rest of the house, taking pictures with his cell phone. Excavating the front door and hallway would be one of their first challenges. At least in the living room they could use the cockpit area to move stuff into while they got the path clear to the sliding glass doors in back.
He’d seen worse in terms of hazardous conditions. But in terms of sheer volume, this house was right up there with the worst of the worst. In another bedroom that Essie told him was a guest room, he couldn’t see to the other wall over the ceiling-high press of stuff.
When he returned to the kitchen, she was sitting in one of the two chairs, staring at the floor.
“Just being in here depresses me,” she softly said. “I didn’t realize until I was back here how depressed I felt all the time growing up. Like all the joy was sucked out of my life when I walked into this house. That’s why I loved school so much. I could escape this disaster for a few hours every day.”
When she looked up at him, her brown eyes were full of tears again. “I can’t imagine how badly Mom must be depressed about this, but I’m finding it really hard to feel sympathetic about Dad dying, and I feel horrible about that, too. I feel horrible that I feel glad he’s gone. Because Mom’s still young enough she can enjoy life. So his love of all this crap stole that from me, too, a relationship with him.”