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“We all have our devils . . . yours is just larger than most,” she whispered as I downed the bottle of pink liquid she pressed into my hand. “Here, drink this for the pain. And if you need to talk, I’m here. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I said softly. “If Hyto is my devil, then he’s going to find himself on the wrong end of the pitchfork. ”
After she treated me, Sharah turned her attention to Hanna and I rejoined the others in the living room. Delilah motioned me toward the kitchen and, managing to convince Smoky and Trillian that I’d be all right without them joined to my hip, I followed her into the warm, cozy room.
As I slid into one of the distressed kitchen chairs, wincing, she pushed a sandwich in front of me. “You need to regain your strength. Eat more. ”
“Yes, ma’am. ” I pulled the sandwich to me—peanut butter and jelly? Since when did Smoky eat peanut butter?
As she sat down, staring at me, I felt my reserve slipping. “Camille . . . what do you need? You’ve always been here for us, and now it’s our turn. Whatever you need, just ask. ”
She leaned forward and picked up a potato chip off the plate, lifting it to my lips. I obediently opened my mouth and accepted the crisp, chewing slowly as I thought over her question. What did I need? My emotions were racing between heartbroken and furious.
I let out a sigh and put down the sandwich as she stood and poured me a glass of milk. “What do I need? What I need is for none of this to have happened. But it did, and now I need to figure out how to cope with it. My emotions are all over the board. I haven’t had time to process what’s happened. Hyto . . . he humiliated me, Delilah. I can withstand a lot of things, but that—no. He stripped me of my dignity, and he hurt me. ”
“How . . . how are you going to handle what he . . . the . . . ”
I shrugged. “Rape isn’t about sex—it’s about wielding power. I know that much, and I refuse to let him destroy my passion. I won’t let him take that away from me. But the pain . . . the beatings . . . I’ve never experienced pain like that before. And you know I’ve been hurt a lot since we came over Earthside. I’m not as quick or physically as strong as you and Menolly. The pain scared me. ”
Delilah bit her lip, then leaned forward. “You will get through this. It’s your nature, Camille. But whenever you need to vent, just tell me—or Menolly—and we’ll be there for you. If you need to scream in the woods, or beat up on some stupid troll, we’ll find you what you need and let you whop ass on it. ”
I sucked in a long, deep breath and let it out with a shudder. “I thought I’d met evil before, but he is evil like . . . like Karvanak was—only less reasonable and far more dangerous. He’s a sadist. He drinks deep from the pain of others. And he’s jealous—he’s so jealous of Smoky. ”
“It’s sad when a father can’t rejoice in the joys of his children. ” Delilah frowned. “At least Smoky didn’t kill Vanzir. We thought he was going to, but when we found out you’d been captured, he went wild. He totally blames himself for it—if he hadn’t yelled at you and told you to get out of his sight, you wouldn’t have gone walking in the woods and been captured. ”
“I already had a talk with Vanzir about that. Smoky’s going to have to get over it. I don’t have the energy to soothe his fears. And whatever happened, there’s nothing we can do about it now. The important thing is that we pull together. I notice they’re in the same room out there and there’s been no bloodshed. That’s a good thing so far. ”
I finished my sandwich and flexed my hands, except for my finger held rigid by a splint. They were about the only part of me that didn’t hurt, aside from the fractured bone. But Sharah’s salve had worked wonders, and the pain was muted. As was the queasiness and my fatigue. Whatever was in that little vial was a wonder drug as far as I was concerned.
“We have to get over to the astral and find Chase. He seems to be able to home in on my energy field—we have similar sparks in our auras and I think he’s going to end up wielding some interesting magic in the future. ”
“Are you sure you’re up to it?” Delilah cocked her head, giving me a skeptical look.
“Keeping busy is the only thing that will save my sanity right now. I can’t sit here forever, worried that Hyto is going to come barreling down on me. Come on, let’s see if Smoky can take us over with him. ”
I pushed back from my chair, then stared down at my nightgown and robe. “I guess I’d better get dressed first, huh?”
She laughed, and her laughter felt good as it rang through the air. “Yeah, somehow I don’t think those are fighting clothes. ”
“You said it, not me. ” I forced a smile to my lips and we headed into the other room. “I keep clothes out here for when we come to stay. Hold on and I’ll be right out. ”
As I entered the bedroom, I saw that Hanna was back in bed, asleep. Sharah motioned me to the side. “She’s malnourished and exhausted and has a nasty case of asthma. I’ve got her on meds, and she’ll need to rest for a couple of weeks at least. ”
I nodded, quietly plundering the closet for a skirt, bustier, and jacket. I longed for my unicorn horn—until we killed Hyto, it was the only thing that might stand between me and the dragon.
As I returned to the living room, the others were gathered together, discussing the best place to approach Hyto. I motioned for Delilah to lace me up.
“Are you sure that’s wise? That corset is tight. ” She pulled on the laces and I let out a gasp of pain.
“It will help. I checked with Sharah. The support will ease my bruised ribs even though it makes the lacerations on my back hurt. ” I held up my hand. “Not much is going to help this little bugger but time, though. ”
Being back in my own clothes, among my family, I began to relax just a little. It would take time to heal, but as I glanced around from face to face, I knew that with their help I’d be back in control sooner than later.
“Chase was stronger than I’ve ever seen him. He had no clue how he’d gotten out on the astral, but the fact is he managed it. ”
Delilah let out a long sigh. “Smoky’s the only one here who can reach the astral. He can’t take all of us. If Roz were here, but he’s not . . . ”
“I can take three,” Smoky said, “which means Delilah, Camille, and Trillian. Vanzir—” Here he stopped, again staring coldly at the demon.
Vanzir met his gaze, but did not challenge him. “Truce holds?”
Enough of this crap. I stood up.
“Both of you—listen to me. I don’t want to have to say this again. I’ve had enough of feeling responsible for the hostility between you. So right now, it ends. No more. No more fighting. What happened between Vanzir and me happened. It shouldn’t have, but it did. We were both injured by the aftereffects. It’s over. Done. He’s been drained of his powers, and I ended up as Hyto’s plaything. We’ve both been hurt. So, Smoky, you have to stop. You have to stop this. ”
Smoky sputtered, but I shook my head. “No. Just . . . no. I want you two to shake hands and apologize to each other. ”
Vanzir let out a long breath. “I don’t do apologies easily, but I am sorry for this. I’m mostly sorry to Camille—it was she whom I hurt. But Smoky, my apologies to you, too. Whatever it takes to be on the same side again. ”
I turned to Smoky. “I’m waiting,” I said, tapping my boot. I’d had enough of petty fights.
My dragon rolled his eyes. “Whatever you wish, my love. Vanzir, I remove my threats to dismember you. But remember this: Once was an accident. Twice—”
“Yeah, yeah, the big bad dragon will tear me to shreds. ” Vanzir waved him away, but then his gaze fell on me and he sobered. “I’m sorry. I just realized . . . ”
I bit my lip. I had to make a choice. Either I could let this drag me down, or I could soldier on. And regardless of his feelings toward me now, I’d been born and raised a soldier’s daughter and I still had that
sense of honor. We didn’t have time for me to wallow. I’d have to wait until downtime for revisit hell.
“Then let’s get busy. Until we know what we’re going to do about Hyto, we go on as usual, except I live out here because with this collar, once Smoky’s father decides to come finish me off, I’ll be a moving target and I won’t put our house in danger. ”
“We can just transfer all the operations out here for now. Menolly can sleep in the barrow during the day—there’s no chance for sunlight to reach some of the caverns here. ” Delilah leaned back in her chair. “We can leave a skeleton crew of Asteria’s guards at the house. But we bring everybody else out here just in case Hyto decides to destroy our house out of spite. ”
I frowned. “If you think so . . . ”
Smoky nodded. “There are labyrinths in the lower chambers—Menolly and Maggie can hide down there. I’ve actually got a well-lit living area down there, where the light of day never touches. You can’t see it from up here. ”
“Then go outside and give Iris a call. Have them start moving things over. ” One worry off my list. “Meanwhile, Smoky, you, Trillian, Delilah, and I are going hunting for Chase on the astral. Vanzir and Roz, you take Shamas and go home. Do what you can to help Iris get ready. ”
As I stood up, I turned to Sharah. “Can you stay with Hanna? I don’t want her waking up and freaking out because we’re gone. ”
“No problem,” she said. “Duties at headquarters are pretty light right now. ” She paused, then whispered, “When you find Chase . . . tell him I’m . . . waiting for him. ”
Delilah let out a soft sigh. “I’ll tell him, Sharah. I know he’ll be happy to hear it. ”
And that was it. We were on the move again—me with a broken finger and a bruised and battered body. But it felt good to be in action again. I’d had my fill of being on the other end of the stick.
Chapter 16
As we sped toward Tangleroot Park, it occurred to me that I’d better let Aeval know I was back—if she even knew I’d been captured. But right now, I was determined to save Chase before he got in trouble. I couldn’t bear the thought of him wandering alone forever, trying to find his way home. I knew what it felt like to be utterly alone.
We parked on the outskirts of the park and headed toward where we’d first entered the portal. I remembered what Aeval had taught me and was prepared to open it by myself. But to my surprise, we arrived to find the portal back again—unattended. Either it had sprung back up on its own within the past few hours, or nobody had been down this way to notice it for awhile. Given the time of year, the snow, and the obscurity of the park, I was betting on the latter.
As we neared the vortex, I stopped, sniffing the air. “Crap. ”
“What’s wrong?” Delilah hurried to my side.
“I smell the Bog Eater—on this side of the portal. Damn it—he got through. He’s loose somewhere, but the trail ends here and I can’t track him. ”
One more thing on our worry list. Another of the Elder Fae—a man-eating one, at that—had rejoined the world at large. And he wasn’t terribly amenable to reason.
“Should we go after him now? Try to figure out where he went?”
I thought about it, then shook my head. “We won’t find him today. He’s passed by this way, but he’s gone now. And I want to find Chase. Let’s just go on—but we’ll keep our eyes open. Pretty soon the Bog Eater’s going to wreak havoc and we’ll be here to track him down. ”
Smoky pulled me to one side.
“We have to speak. We have to discuss what happened. ” He put his arms around me, holding me gently against his chest. “I cannot bear to think you might blame me for my father’s actions—though I understand why you might. ”
We hadn’t had a chance to talk in private. Actually, that wasn’t altogether true. The fact was, I’d avoided being alone with him and Trillian. I’d seen enough pain and worry in my life to understand that I’d have issues to work through, but I also knew that none of my husbands could have prevented what had happened, and that none of them were to blame. When it came down to it, we were all alone. There was no such thing as perfect safety. No such thing as invulnerability. One wrong move, one wrong slip, and any of us could be at the mercy of fate—or a psychotic dragon.
But once we were alone together, I’d have to let go. I’d have to have my breakdown and exorcise Hyto’s ghost from my body and mind. Anyone being too kind to me right now threatened my ability to push back the rage and the fear. And Smoky’s arms around me were too gentle, too caring, too loving for me to summon up my courage.
I pushed him back, my hand against his heart as I stared into those concerned glacial eyes. He looked so similar to his father—and yet he was not Hyto, and his nature took away the resemblance that could have come between us.
“I love you. ” Tears sprang to my eyes. “But we cannot talk about this here. I will need you—I will need you and Trillian and Morio, and my sisters, to get through this. But right now, I want to save Chase. If we can save Chase, I won’t feel so helpless. ”
“I’m worried about you—your injuries are not mild, my love. ” A look of pain crossed his face. “I can’t bear to think that my own flesh and blood did this to you. That I let him take you away. ”
“You didn’t let him. It’s not your fault, and I’ll never blame you for what happened. Hyto is the one who hurt me. He’s solely responsible for his actions, and we will make him pay. But right now, I have to keep busy. I have to keep from dwelling on the past few days. Do you understand?” I leaned up and kissed him gently on the cheek. “What is in your heart—that is what I love. Not how invulnerable you can make my life. ”