"He did not suffer," whispered Robert. He was speaking more to himself, as if thinking aloud.
"No. She died instantly, or at most a few minutes later. Anyway, his condition was so critical that he definitely lost consciousness before he died. "Dr. Michelini finally lifted his eyes and stared at Robert. He had finished his account and did not feel any better but had a less weight on the stomach.
Now she feared that her husband of the woman would begin to cry or scream at him that was all his fault, that was a murderess, who would have sued. At times it had happened and had been tremendous, because in those times were the victims of catastrophic death in his hands, while cerava to keep them this way with all his heart. And the worst was that he believed he had some responsibility, despite any links would be ready to swear that it was not even enough of a miracle. I'll often say, his parents, who had a weak character, he could not bear all the responsibilities of being a doctor, but how could listen to them at twenty and the height of his powers and ambitions?
But Roberto was perfectly calm. Devastated in the mind and heart, but calm. He kept his gaze fixed on the doctor's hands, then moved slowly up a folder bulging with yellow leaves, then came back. He wondered what he thought Simon at that time, before taking his last breath. I wonder if even then he struggled with all his determination not to panic and resignation and died with the thought turned to him and their children.
"And now," interjected a few seconds after the marshal. "Should I ask a few questions, if you feel able to respond."
Roberto gave his thoughts and looked at him. He noted again that square jaw, his eyes cold and the physical Hefty that allowed us to see the uniform. Gagliardo was the word that best described the Marshal. A man who got what he always wanted, by hook or by crook. "Yes, I can answer. But I also ... »
"I know, I understand perfectly, but please bear with me a few more minutes. Then ... "
At that moment someone knocked at the door and entered without waiting for an answer. She was a nurse and his pant must have followed that course. "Excuse me, Doctor, there Biso ..." he began, all out of breath.
"Excuse me" Michelini stopped him by raising a hand to him and pointing to the door. "I can not be bothered." The ability to give answers like this was another of the little dreams that he had when he was still studying medicine. Grit your teeth! was said when a question seemed insurmountable or when the idea was to study heavy as a boulder. Grit your teeth and become somebody!
The nurse listened with an expression somewhere between embarrassment and annoyance. But he dared not even try to argue with a but . He closed the door behind him without saying goodbye and no one disturbed him after the interview. Perhaps it was a rumor.
"Excuse me, sergeant. Keep well. "
"No problem," she assured him that, returning his gaze on Roberto, who gave the impression that he had not even realized what had happened. "So, Mr. Santoni," He sighed, as if preparing for a long and tedious job. "What kind of woman was his wife?" Her voice was firm, decided, without the small but perceptible hesitation, like ripples on the water surface, Dr. Michelini.
Roberto found himself crowded out: the demand for a million dollars! He could talk for hours about Simona and write a whole book about her, unable to say how he really was, without transmitting to his listeners or his reader not only the idea of her being special, of his ability to bring ' joy even in a group of people plucked from a death, but also and above all the magic that was in everything. The magic that sometimes he felt like a light in his eyes, as a reflection on her smile, like a tone in his voice, and that must have been what really made it different.
How could he explain how it felt when you spoke to her or even more when you hug or kiss you? It was like stepping into contact, at a deeper level, with that magic, as becoming involved in a wonderful symbiosis in which he lived by his love and she's his happiness. And how to describe ...
Then he realized what really interested to sergeant and eventually lost the question the strangeness and complexity that was awarded at the beginning.
"It was," he began, feeling his tongue stuck to the palate. She found herself wondering if Vasco Rossi imbottisse of tranquilizers before every TV appearance, or any concert. "She was very cheerful, I would say ... I would say at peace with itself. Sa ... Well, you know what women are usually not? They think they are fat even on the verge of anorexia, you are ugly, old, and twenty or thirty years ... "As he spoke he shook his head as if to roll into his mouth the words he sought.
"Yes, I grasped the concept," snapped the officer.
"Well." He paused to regain his train of thought. "Here, instead Simona ... he never complained once. Not that he thought he was perfect, in fact he was more conscious of its defects than many other people I know. But there was not to despair for a pimple on the forehead or because one day he weighed three grams more than usual. He lived trying to create the least amount of unnecessary problems and taking care of things very serious, very important. So he could make us all feel better too. You see, I have this belief: that you, enjoying this inner well-being ... Well, he had more charged, more grit and ... and we transmit it. As a current generator that powered three large lamps, me and my children, and you never wore, indeed, is recharged more and more, simply seeing the serenity that reigned in our family. "The will was drawn a smile on his lips: the pain, kept at bay by drugs, giving way to the beautiful thoughts and memories it evoked.
"Okay, this I think it was pretty clear. And I understand that there were difficulties in your relationship. No ... no bickering, no opportunity to disagree? "
Roberto began to shake his head before responding, and took a moment to reflect, even though he had doubts. "I would say no." Dr. Michelini, who was present interested in the conversation, held a sneeze as not to interrupt or perdersene not even a fraction. "You see, we ourselves are often surprised to find that ... how to say? It seemed that the feeling that united us when we met and we got engaged was not dropped after the wedding, and over the years, but remained constant. If not deeper. This has the complicity, the joking and playing, this euphoria of the first month, or even the first years together? Look, I can assure you that I never miss, so much so that ... "He paused with another half-smile on his lips and staring into her eyes, perhaps a beginning of the reemergence of pain or perhaps a nostalgia for preventive of those moments (and probably both), shone. "So much so that sometimes we found ourselves laughing and laughing like two stupid and without any particular reason. Perhaps for an expression of one or the comical. And you think our kids were telling us to stop. our children ! Crazy. But also incredibly soft. It is very painful now. "
He looked and saw the sergeant nodded slowly, but without abandoning his serious attitude. Gagliardo . He noted that even the doctor nodded and vigor and participation which he did were those who had been really impressed. He had begun to look at your hands and turn over the thumbs. From the corridor outside came many voices and a few cries and noises of creaking machinery of stretchers and wheelchairs or being moved. And yet Robert perceived the smell of disinfectant that permeated everything and everyone that worked at the hospital.
"I know," he continued. "You think I'm trying to give a description of our history ... how to say ... fabulous. It is a criticism that we have always done in many, when Simon and I were trying to explain the feeling that united us. And I can not blame her. But I want to reassure you a bit ': we fought and we too frequently. It happened for different reasons and sometimes we stayed for hours bickering. I remember one day ... I was washing the dishes and humming a song - sang often at home, and this also helped to make the happy climate - and, letting myself be a little 'hand, I tried to spin a plate to resume the flight. But I slipped and broke. So Simon began to reproach myself that I was worse than a child and sometimes I had better not sit still for disasters combined. Then, you know, one word led to another and you fight for long. But she understands well that disputes of this kind, for reasons like this ... as they say ..
. futile ... Well, it was not about one side of my character that she just could not bear but a broken plate by mistake! There are problems that can undermine a relationship, especially if it takes account of how I explained it was mine. And we ourselves were aware there and we had peace and laughing at ourselves. I remember it well. " Again the smile and bright eyes. "We hugged and we made our excuses and felt that we love even more than before, almost for a moment we guessed what it would hate instead of loving. Everything was put in place, you know? And I'm sure this played a major role in the character of Simon and his ability to transmit her inner peace. "
The sergeant stared at him in silence and continued to do even for a moment, considering if it should add more. But the response was more exhaustive and that it was getting late, so he decided to proceed. "Very well. From what he told me I would exclude the possibility of a suicide ... "
Roberto opened his eyes and raised eyebrows in an expression of amazement. "Suicide? Simona? But it would be easier than Bin Laden he convert to Christianity, "said, sounding terribly serious.
"Bring patience, sir, but we can not rule anything out in advance. That's suicide was a possibility quite remote, and his words confirm this. The dynamics of the accident remains, however strange or at least unusual, and we wanted to be sure that the lady had no problems that could push it to an extreme action. "
***
From somewhere outside, or perhaps from a room next door, came the sound of a phone: only two before a female voice answered. In the corridor someone was asking where she was a nurse in the neurology department.
"In that sense, the dynamic is strange?" Robert asked, frowning. He had observed the scene of the accident, he had no eyes for the Simona lifeless body, and the words of Marshal had instilled in him the suspicion that some details might make you think of an event is not accidental. The involvement of someone else.
"It will be noticed that the arrangement of black lines on the asphalt suggests a sudden and seemingly inexplicable car steering to the right."
"Honestly no, I did not notice," admitted Robert. Dr. Michelini nodded again.
"Well ... signs on the street almost form a right angle. From our reconstruction, the car must have braked sharply and swerved sharply to the right. A second before proceeding in a straight line along the highway and a second after it was rotated approximately ninety degrees to the right. A maneuver to rally, if you will pardon the comparison, which requires a rapid and complete rotation of the steering wheel. As if ... "
"How to avoid an obstacle?" Robert preceded him.
"Exactly. We developed two hypotheses. The first is that his wife has fainted or had a moment of distraction or even fell asleep, but exclude, since the time of the accident. Maybe simply a reflection of sunlight, a reflection at the wrong time. In any case, something that has made him lose control of the car making it crash into the ditch. "
Roberto thought of those words and mentally reconstructed images of what they described. Simon who was driving to school smiling, thinking, and Matthias embrace that would have given him a lot of there not, then a blinding glare, the hands on the wheel slipped and she tried to regain control, managing only to finish off road after half spin. Plausible, but something was not returned.
"The second possibility, more likely, is that something has cut off, forcing her to swerve, with the consequences that she has seen. Inevitably, may have also treated a cat that crossed it. "
"But nobody was there to ..."
"No, no witnesses, if that's what you mean."
"You can not! The accident occurred at noon and a half, is not it, doctor? "
"Most likely" secured Michelini.
"And at that hour the streets are full! If this were not enough, there's a bar right there in front, where there is the supermarket. At that time it is mathematically certain to find anyone around these parts! "
"Sorry, Professor, but it does not. We consulted with the manager of the bar is talking about, who told us that at that time were about half a dozen customers, but everyone inside, where the air conditioning made the temperature bearable. With regard to possible witnesses in the car ... is true, was the time it leaves the office, or shortly after, but the fact remains that at times the road is less busy and ... again, fate would have it, his wife transitasse in one of those moments. "
"But .. and if it had been buffered? If they had done and had escaped out of the way? "Roberto could not accept the absurdity of a death caused by a dog or a cat crossing the road. The death of his wife .
"We thought about it, but we found no signs of collision on the car, or fragments of glass on the roadway. I ... "said the marshal.
"A bicycle!" Almost shrieked Roberto, overlapping with enthusiasm to his voice. "She said a cat, but if it was a bicycle that has crossed the road? There are a lot of those stupid kids who are riding without hands and without precaution or those immigrants who are not in the wrong ... "
"I understand that you will find a reason, a convicted "the sergeant stopped him. "But I assure you that there is nothing that gives credence to this possibility. Nor do we think that there are witnesses who do not want to be alive, because why would not the first and second ... know how, who attends an accident tends to stay in place for calling for help and look around, above all, and ... as bad to say, we would take to come forward and tell what they have witnessed, as if to help us police represented a brief moment of glory. "
"I understand, I understand, is that ..."
"And if I can" interjected Dr. Michelini, albeit uncomfortable "does not arrovelli the mind to seek the truth at all costs, risks ... make things worse. The truth is hard to accept but, and I speak from the heart, not a doctor, should try to get over it as soon as possible. "
"I agree" continued the sergeant. "I repeat: if we had even the slightest suspicion that it may have gone differently, we would do everything to go down the other. But, however strange, dynamics, together with his statements, leading to conclusions that I have shown: a fatality. Okay? "
Roberto sat silent, his heart still throbbing with excitement. He nodded, serious, but it was not yet convinced. It would not be ever.
***
Dr. Michelini and Marshal Mortini were silent for a moment. Roberto began to cry. It was hard to accept the death of his wife but he was much more the idea that it could be caused by someone else: the idea of invading the bike lane was cemented in his mind and would not have gone easily. He felt the pain mixed with the anger and hatred. Within hours of his life had changed so radically reversed upside down on a deep abyss and feet tied and supported only by a few weak threads.
By the way, still had to warn them. A girl of nineteen years and a child of seven had just lost his mother and he was standing there playing the detective sergeant with a strict and a strange doctor. It felt incredibly guilty and incredibly late. He looked at his watch and saw that it was nearly four and a half. Then the increased flow of tears, because Roberto recalled being incredibly alone and thought it was like a knife that penetrated his stomach.
"Thank you, sergeant, but now I must go," she announced, trying to maintain a normal voice though weeping. "I must warn my children."
"Please, please. I'm through. "
"There is a public phone here?" Asked Robert, remembering not to have the phone.
"Down the hall, to the right" the doctor informed him, pointing the direction with one arm. "After I ask you another minute to identify the body." And he made the last proposal with a sense of guilt as thick as tar.
Robert nodded.
"But I look at the exit," continued the sergeant. "The drive you home."
Why can not I go with my car? Roberto was about to ask, then he remembered that he had arrived at the hospital by ambulance. It was so hard to get used to the idea of what had happened, all that series of events that had swept like a raging wind on an ocean of sadness and confusion. "Very well. Thank you. But now ... "
"Yes, go ahead. In the bottom right, "repeate
d the doctor. And when Roberto came out, he thought he had never suffered worse than the sight of his tearful face.
***
Matthias sat on the sofa in the living room and began watching television, somewhere between a cartoon and a nap so he would spend the whole afternoon. Gisella began clearing the table and made a face before throwing trash the pasta dish he had prepared for Simona. How much waste, and all the people dying of hunger! And why? Just because his daughter was lost somewhere!
It was already one and a half and Roberto had not been felt, which meant that everything was under control. He had tried to call home just minutes before and had found busy. will be on the phone with her, he thought. This will call and have discovered that it is still running at the supermarket because he had forgotten to buy milk. It is so distracted! And his belief that some tragedy had happened with that thought had vanished, leaving only a critical interior against Simon.
Roberto I was blinded and did not realize it was a woman but not serious. Always ready to laugh and joke and sing. A lady like you have had only two things to think about: the house and children. Instead she had sought a job, because he wanted to make a "modern woman" in his career. Well, dear, very well. And meanwhile I have to keep their children and Roberto must make the trades for you when he returns to school! Thanks for giving us beautiful, then: you forget even to them, their children, and had it not been for the teacher! But if I lived in my time ...
Then the sirens started and every critical thought vanished. The heart froze and my legs froze. He was bent over the trash can with a dirty plate in one hand and a fork in the other. He closed his eyes and frowned, and she found herself praying mentally that was not how he thought that the sirens were not playing for Simon, that the Lord would preserve her and her son and her grandchildren from such a misfortune. They were so beautiful a family, after all, and her late husband had understood from the outset. He also prayed. It 'that never happened, Mario. you are so close to the Lord and the Virgin Mary and all saints, is' they're all good .