Reattach was one of the greatest reliefs that had ever tried at the same time marked the beginning of a sense of guilt that would accompany him for ever. Not only that Cristina had just lost his mother and did not know, but her father had spoken as if nothing had happened, mentendole on something so important. He had done for his own good, but maybe Cristina would not have willingly accepted it anyway.
"Do you mind ..." urged the sergeant saw that Roberto was lost in thought, his hand still resting on the handset. "Bring patience, but ..."
"Come, come," said mechanically, the vague tone of one who has his mind occupied by something else. "We do what we do."
"Well, follow me."
***
Gisella thanked heaven that afternoon Matthias was a prey to exhaustion as to make him sleep for hours. At five and a half, just over an hour after the phone call from Robert, the child was still sleeping. Make dreams happy grandmother told him mentally. Why in the coming days I will have far too much sadness .
He cried a lot more than he could think of. Perhaps as much as the day when her husband was dead. And her pain was not only the fact itself, as the awareness of the pain that this had resulted in Roberto. He was young, had a baby, still had a life ahead: not deserve such a disgrace, not yet.
He cried a lot and had been forced to do so in silence, unable to give full vent to his despair, not to wake Matthias. It would already be aware of the terrible news from her father's words, without risking injury to induce a much bigger let alone drew its conclusions after watching his grandmother in tears. Besides, he had heard the sirens of the ambulance.
Now Gisella sat in the kitchen, well aware of what was supposed to do and however reluctant. Roberto had not thought of, obviously, too engrossed in his nightmare, but pious woman Gisella knew that it was necessary to call the pastor to ask him to recite the rosary and the funeral. However, about the blocking was as if he could arrange the funeral ceremonies make the tragedy even more true.
He had experienced similar feelings when he lost his family and particularly her husband. Her death was terrible, but it had almost abstract until such time as he had not found the church to establish his coffin. If up to that time his mind was limited to knowing that Mario was dead, the coffin, flowers, condolences, the ceremony, the burial had made him understand . And it was even worse.
But there was no way to escape reality, not even from so much pain. So, fearing that, as tired sooner or later he would wake Mattia, Gisella looked up the number of Don Mauro. He thought of asking the recitation of the rosary in church for that evening and the next night. For the funeral would be fine Thursday or Friday, he was always available
With trembling hands, dialed the number.
***
"Another hour?" Asked Daniel to Christine. "Shit, it's almost five!"
"Come on, do not say bad words at all," she chided him good-naturedly. He sat on his lap and held her arms around his neck. They were on a bench next to the building of the Faculty of Engineering campus.
"Excuse me, your holiness" Daniel laughed and planted a kiss on the lips.
"When you can cut this beard?" She complained, rubbing his chin with one hand. "But yes, I have five to six lessons. Although it usually ends the first quarter of an hour. "
"I would not make it this time. I'd stay home. "
"But you are you. Are you a couch potato! Think you live here a hundred meters, yes and no, but I have an hour's bus back! "She smiled, looking at him with loving eyes.
Daniel lived in rented an apartment for students just off campus. Cristina had known him in the cafeteria a few weeks before. Had no place and was placed next to the guy who initially had not even looked. Then he had taken advantage and an excuse had attacked a speech: "Do not we already seen the case for the seminar on the job?" It was a seminar held a few days before and to which all students were almost obliged to participate, then Daniel had gone on the safe side.
A word he pulled the other from that day and had begun to look at often. When not had lesson and Cristina was sleeping, Daniel joined her and spent their time together. A few days earlier had agreed to enter into his house and presented it to her mother and her grandmother Isa. Cristina had thought it would be nice for him and his mom, but eventually had regretted seeing him in a quandary, though Simon had argued to the contrary.
Now they were embraced, until it began the lesson by Cristina, when the phone rang. "Wow!" He said. "I forgot the ringtone high! And if I was playing in class? "
Daniel looked at her with an amused expression. "But it did not happen!" He remarked. "Answer me, come on."
Cristina looked at the screen of your Nokia, which informed that the call came from an unknown number. "Who is he?" He wondered aloud.
Daniel was about to remind you that the best way to know was to respond, but stopped seeing that Cristina had finally pressed the button with the green receiver.
"Hello? Yes, hello, Dad. You! What is it a problem? "He waited. "Ah, yes, yes, ok. But I should wash myself, maybe. "Another pause. "Listen, Dad. Are you sure that everything is okay? "Daniel gave her a reproachful look, shaking his head. "Well, hello" she concluded, and hung up.
"But you must always create you explain to me why all these problems?" Daniel asked, not entirely joking. "Your father calls you for a very normal thing and you're already thinking about who knows what!"
"But really, I do not know what to say," she defended herself. "I never usually calls me and then used an unknown number. Why has not called me at home? "
"You did not say which is the professor? Maybe it's still in school and used a cab. Come on, please do not do that! "
Cristina felt ashamed and most of you realized that in two words Daniel had given the most logical explanation for that phone call, but there was still that feeling of something not quite completely in the right direction. "All right, sorry."
"Well, anyway, what did he say?" Said Daniel, the most heartening.
"What we're going to eat my grandmother and that takes me beyond the clothes to change into. But .. "His face went suddenly dark.
"But what?" Urged Daniel.
"I do not know, I had a voice that seemed strange ... Perhaps the first step to reassure me from home, then I go to my grandmother. "
"No, no, no! This is not good. You just said you're quiet, I told you that you should not be afraid of everything! Now look at me straight in the face. "He approached her and gazed into her eyes, resting his hands on his shoulders. "Promise me you will not come down until the bus arrived at the home of your grandmother. Nothing happens if you pass by your house and check that everything is okay, nothing changes for me. But it is a matter of principle. I want to heal this problem, the more and stop worrying. Okay? "
Cristina thought for a moment, looking down. "Okay, I promise. I'm sorry. It's just that with the fact my mom, we're talking so much these days, I would not want ... "
"Bastaaa ... Be happy with your mom will see that it solves, did not you say you wrote that you need to chat tonight? And then, when you go to eat the grandmother is always a party, then smile. But do not overdo it! With food, I mean ... "
Christina laughed and embraced Daniel. And in the grasp of those strong arms seized the three thoughts. The first was not that Daniel never spoke of his parents and family, so she did not know precisely where he originated. The second was that he felt lucky to have found a guy so wonderful, who seemed to know exactly what she liked and made them understand that every second that he loved.
And the third was that he regretted not having gone to bed with him already two weeks before, though not all know that a few days ago, and have repeated the experience again and again in the days to follow.
***
It looked like a different house from that which was passed just hours before. He had not had time to get out of Mortini Marshal, who had greeted him in haste and in a somewhat annoyed, feeling that once the new one had caught him.
He looked like an aband
oned house, cursed. That great garden in which he and Simon had spent virtually all of their Saturday afternoon had suddenly turned into a tangled mass of weeds and monstrous that accompanied gaze up at the entrance to the haunted house.
It was still hot. Robert climbed over the gate and walked up the driveway. He wondered what divine force had helped him not to faint when he was forced to revise the body of Simon. In the hospital room where they had taken the body had been cleaned and reassembled and it was a spectacle less worse than the scene of the accident, but it was still his wife. Died.
He reached the door and found her still open. As the first visit of a long series by an old friend who had decided to move far, far away, Simon's voice spoke in his mind: The day when entering the house will not find the pants maybe even learn to close Key! Echo of the past, when they were first married and he had too much faith in the goodness of men. He had listened to the advice of Simon, but his confidence had remained. But that day was gone as well: Is it possible that no one saw anything? wondered.
He entered the house. His legs felt tired, like the rest of the body, however. In his quiet life, modest, was suddenly plunged a boulder not think he could bear. He grew up with the childish, naive idea that he spent his whole life with his wife and that, in due course, he would be the first to go. Why was it, was almost always the case: first husband died, then his wife.
Already, almost always. When in the normal course of events did not fit a distraction in the car that made you swerve and crash into a ditch. Or when someone cut the road and fled after thinking that perhaps the incident was more serious than expected and that it was best to avoid unnecessary trouble. Roberto began to cry. The attempt to turn her pain into anger had failed. It was still too early.
The short corridor leading from the stairs leading to first floor appeared to challenge him with her to be quiet and empty. It was as if the walls had absorbed every sound, every smell from the family home, leaving all the sensations of Roberto converge towards that immense pain that obscured the heart. It was a house where he stayed only for the memory space, and it was the memory of a happy event.
With his face streaked with tears, Roberto is forced not to turn to the cabinet on the picture to the right. He did not want to see the beautiful face of Simon, not yet, or wanted to remember his body disfigured. For the moment he wanted to try to keep it out of his mind, he wanted to ignore even her weeping and the knot in his stomach that caused him the same way they forgot that he was breathing or blinking occasionally.
He went up the stairs and gave only a brief glimpse into the kitchen. His eyes saw only the TI AMO on the slate, a picture soon as the flash of a camera. But just as dazzling. Robert fell to the ground, rolling on his back and began screaming at the ceiling, writhing and sobbing as he had never done before in life. He cried almost to lose his voice, called out the name of Simon, and inarticulate ways they sought in vain to relieve his suffering. And wept loud, almost choking risk for cramps. But in those minutes, not even her survival instincts longer had any importance in those minutes, the half of his soul that was entrusted to Simone forever had finally noticed to be left alone.
***
The bus was traveling on Cristina began to slow down for the next stop, the one to whom she habitually fell, a few hundred meters from his house. Today had to take to the streets and throughout the trip had not done anything but ripeterselo, as if it were a delicate mission of war and planned in detail.
However, the seed of doubt had crept into his mind after a call from his father would not let truce with his forked tongue whispered to her home that something was wrong, that was too weird to eat by grandmother during the week, it was curious that the father had called from a phone booth.
On the other hand, was almost seven o'clock and had it not come soon from her grandmother would all be worried, except for Mom. It was something I could not stand, to be still a matter of apprehension as if he was nineteen and he could not fend for themselves even more hated having to admit that, despite the efforts of Simon to transfer the whole family the joy of living without always think the worst, she was more influenced by the character voted the pessimism of his father and his grandmother. And at that time was to worry that something bad had happened, when in fact they were all waiting to sit at a table spread.
The bus stopped and opened the doors. Cristina was a few seconds to decide. In those moments he thought Daniel had promised that he would not invented problems exist and that would go directly from his grandmother. He did not want her paranoia was created, had told him on several occasions. She had repeatedly pledged to correct, restrain. She arrived an opportunity to prove to herself that she was able, but ...
Eastpak hastily picked up his blue and fell before the doors are richiudessero, shouting a goodbye that crossed the empty bus and walked to the driver.
***
It was a little more than a quarter to seven when Roberto got up on his feet. He did not feel at all reassured, but the outburst was momentarily dispelled the knot in my stomach that gripped him. He thought he could stand without crying for a while ', just long enough to break the news to his children. But it was late and had to go to his mother before he reached Cristina. At his age he was old enough to understand if something was wrong with a simple glance. And he did not want him to come to know the tragic news to others.
Feeling supported by legs more stable, ran up the stairs. This time he succeeded in establishing itself not to think about anything except what he had to do and not to daydream looking at the risk of running into a memory of Simon and another crisis. He reached the room quickly and without delay, Cristina opened the top drawer that came under fire. The scent of laundry washed and ironed it looked like the sound of a distant song in time and space, a song of someone who even knew what it meant happiness.
Do not waste time rummaging through the clothes. He took the first boss that came to hand, a white blouse, neatly folded and placed in the drawer, as was typical of Simon. She loved the order. But Robert did not have to think of her, was not to let that image of his wife that she was placing the clothes in their place, and the pluck ...
He closed the drawer with force, holding the eyelids to the noise. He discovered that he had worked for the time and had a clear head again. It led to the closet and opened a door after another, until he found where they were stored pants. Again he took a pair of jeans to the event. Cristina would have something else to think about, regardless of what she wore. Damn , he thought. How is all terribly unreal. Yet ...
A noise behind him made him jump. He spun around and yet he made time to work out a terrifying image. Projected in his mind he saw the figure of Simon, stood before him, leaning against the doorway of the room by Cristina, dressed in a white nightgown he had seen her wearing in the bed of the mortuary. The shirt was untouched, except for an eerie bloodstain at the belly.
When he turned around, saw nothing of this. But he found himself hoping the opposite. Behind him, the wall was gone and had left no room for an entire clearing surrounded by trees. At the center of the clearing was a pile of wood that was on fire, a fire. And on that pyre to burn alive Roberto saw a female figure, now almost completely engulfed in flames except the upper body. It distinguished blacks and their hair long, his face distorted by pain, which manifested itself even more in the face of his lips. And that woman with her arms tied behind his back around a pole that was supporting it, stared at him with eyes filled with anger and satisfaction.
It lasted a while but that was enough to tear a scream of terror Roberto. The came from the bowels of the mouth and exploded, spreading into the room, or perhaps because there was still that there had always been. He fell backwards and slammed his head heavily. Joined to the fear and pain sensation, a sound that seemed to come from far away and could not well defined.
He thought for a moment that it was the woman who was finally swallowed up by the fire and I nearly fainted when a really feminine face filled his visi
on, shouting even louder than it did him. He had just enough time to think it was over, that some monstrous ghost come from who knows where he had arrived to take him with him, first to distinguish clearly the first word: father .
Cristina above him, holding his head in his hands and screaming desperately. "Dad! Dad! What have you got? What happens? Dad! "He returned home and found the door open but no one waiting. Had increased, attracted by the noise had come from upstairs. It had not seemed to have maintained an absolute silence in climbing stairs. Yet, when my dad had turned, startled as if he had seen the devil himself. And she was terrified, and for a brief moment she became convinced that he got out of his head. "Dad," called out again, almost certain not to have been wrong.
There was definitely something wrong.
***
Slowly, Roberto found himself in control. He continued to remain silent for a while ', just to think about which words to use. He was fully aware that the time had come to tell the truth in advance, but after that sort of monstrous vision was struggling to re-order thoughts. We first asked whether what he had seen was the result of emotional stress or if the victim was in the same time giving the brain. In that case, a compassionate Cristina and even more for Matthias.
Then he put aside the unfortunate event and focused on his daughter. Both sat on the bed, in the dim light from the lamp on the ceiling. Cristina was visibly shocked.
"Scu ... I'm sorry, darling, "began Bob, wondering if she still had red eyes. But soon he realized that it was irrelevant anyway Cristina was to know. "You scared me, I have not heard ..."
"What happened, Dad," she persisted, showing that he understood that the problem was beyond his father's reaction when he saw her. "Tell me the truth: it is for grandma?"
Those words were a further blow for Roberto. Cristina had sensed something was wrong right away, I had seen talking to her on the phone. And apparently he thought, naturally enough, to her grandmother Isa. He could not even begin to imagine how much worse would the situation and Roberto came to feel guilty about having to be an ambassador of such a tremendous message. "No," replied sadly, eyes on his hands, who went to look for those of Cristina.