***~~~***
Later that afternoon, Charlie sat within a booth at Joleen’s Diner, a restaurant not far from her own apartment that served delicious home-style cooking, waiting for Tom to arrive. Soon after sending her message, Tom replied with much enthusiasm and agreed to meet her there. She thought about going to the coffee shop, since it would have been cheaper to order something, but she wanted to avoid another embarrassing incident with Lisette if she could help it. Thankfully, her father offered her ten dollars regardless of the damage he believed she had caused to his house. Her dad was awesome.
Charlie looked out the window, sipping at a glass of iced tea and wondering what Tom would look like. She had to leave him details about her so that he would be able to spot her once he arrived, but nothing too specific. Just things like the color of her shirt, for example. She hoped she provided enough information though, because she would hate for him to walk past her and they’d never know it. But it was a good thing Tom had a good eye for detail.
“Hmm,” said a man who suddenly appeared next to Charlie. “Blue shirt, sitting alone, avoiding eye contact with everybody else in the restaurant… well, if I didn’t already know you were a borderline hermit, I’d say you must be Charlie.”
Charlie turned her head and looked at the man who stood before her. He was average height, had dark and slightly wavy hair, a little overweight but carried it well, and had a face that was not handsome but still somewhat pleasing to the eye. Overall, there didn’t look to be anything special about him. He was simply an average, normal-looking person.
“Tom?” asked Charlie.
“You got it,” said Tom, taking a seat across from her. “It’s kind of weird not referring to each other by our character names, eh? It’s good to finally meet each other in person.”
“I’ll admit I was a little hesitant. Even though we only talk to each other online, you know me better than anyone else, so you know how bad I am with meeting people.”
“I know. That’s why I was a little scared to ask you to meet. I know how much of a recluse you are.”
Charlie and Tom laughed, but then an awkward silence spread between them and Charlie played with the straw in her drink and didn’t know what to say. She could tell by the way Tom was tapping his finger against a salt shaker he grabbed that he was experiencing similar anxieties. But thankfully, a waitress came around and took their order.
“Can I get you anything?” she asked.
“Um, maybe just a fried donut and a refill for my drink,” said Charlie.
“I guess I’ll try the same,” said Tom. “But I’d like a coffee instead, please.”
The waitress wrote down their order and went out back to put it in, returning a couple of minutes later with two donuts, a coffee and an iced tea.
“Wow,” said Tom, “this donut’s great.”
“I know, right?” said Charlie. “I like coming here because it’s not the usual fast food joint. Everything is made fresh and the food’s incredible.”
“Man, I could definitely load up on these during one of our guild raids. Having one of these in my mouth would make the armor repair cost taste a little less bitter. Remember that time you and I decided to go on a stealth mission into the Dark City? Man, that was a disaster waiting to happen. We totally got our butts handed to us. But wasn’t it hilarious when we jumped that one guy when he was dealing with a merchant? I still laugh when I think about what he must have been thinking that two players from the opposing faction actually attacked him inside his home city.”
“That was so funny!” said Charlie, laughing really hard. “I literally banged my fist against the computer desk and spit energy drink from my nostrils.”
Charlie and Tom laughed together again, but this time there were no awkward pauses. Being able to share that memory in person and laugh about it together had helped to break the ice, and somehow Charlie felt a lot more comfortable now. They looked at each other and smiled, and then once she realized she was staring at him, she broke eye contact.
“So…” said Charlie, “is this your first time to Riverton?”
“Nah,” said Tom, “I usually don’t travel unless I have to come into town for work stuff. I’m a trainer at a call center I work at in my small town. Sometimes other companies hire ours to train some new employees and when they do, they usually send me.”
“No way! I had no idea you worked at a call center, too. I’m sure your position must be better than harassing people on the phones about pointless crap though. I freaking hate my job.”
“Tell me about it! Try training people who’d rather stab themselves in the eye than listen to me tell them how to pretend to excited about technical support.”
Charlie was amazed at how well their meeting was going. She was glad that she agreed to get together. They were hitting it off really well. They talked like two old friends who hadn’t seen each other in a long time. It felt good to talk to someone about normal, mundane things. It was all looking really positive, until Tom started acting awkward again and brought Rowan into the conversation.
“So, how are things going between you and that guy you mentioned the other day?” asked Tom. “You still seeing each other?”
“Yeah, things are good,” said Charlie, feeling awkward talking about Rowan with him.
“You like him?”
“Yes, I do,” said Charlie, really meaning it. Even if things were complicated because they both came from different worlds, that didn’t change that she had developed strong feelings towards him.
“Oh, I see,” said Tom, averting his eyes from hers and tapping the salt shaker again.
Suddenly the atmosphere had gone from pleasant to uncomfortable. Charlie had a feeling in her gut as to why he brought that up, but she didn’t want to believe it. She really didn’t want this to happen. Her emotions and relationship with Rowan was complicated enough and she didn’t want her own with relationship with Tom to get weird either. He was her best friend. If something happened between them, then she would have nobody else if she and Rowan didn’t work out.
“Charlie, I’ve got to be honest with you,” said Tom. “I didn’t just come here for a business meeting. The main reason was because I wanted to see you and tell you something.”
“Tom…” said Charlie, her expression pleading with him not to go there.
“Please, just hear me out. I don’t know if I could forgive myself if I didn’t at least try. Charlie, the truth is that I really like you. I’ve been crazy about you for a long time but have always been afraid to say it. I know I tease you a lot about being a shut-in and everything, but to be honest, I’m the exact same way. We’re exactly alike, and I’ve never met anyone who I felt so connected to before. The reason I never told you this in the past is because I value our friendship so much that if you ever turned me down, then I know we would never be the same again. But when you told me the other day that you met a guy, my heart felt like it shattered to pieces. I hated myself for not telling you how I felt before someone else stole you from me. And believe me, Charlie, it’s not like me to be so forward about all of this. But I know that if I sit back and let someone as amazing as you slip through my fingers, to be swept away by some other guy who doesn’t know you the way that I do, well, I’ll always wonder if things could have ever been between us.”
Charlie was thrown into a dilemma from which she believed she could not emerge from unhurt. At that moment, she desperately wished to be fighting off savage demons and garden gnomes instead. The truth was that she also really liked Tom. Even if their relationship was strictly online, she had come to enjoy his company and even look forward to more time spent gaming with him. There had been a few times when she even entertained the idea of what it would be like if they dated. But the prospect of bringing it up to face rejection was just too frightening to go through with it. But it was too late now. She was with Rowan. And the truth about that was that she really liked him too. He was gorgeous, charming, and had saved her life like a h
ero from within a fairy tale. He had shown her things that amazed her beyond limits and made her feel more alive than she ever did in her life. Sure, things were complicated because of the nature of his existence, and sometimes she felt like being in a relationship with him was too scary and dangerous at times, but he was just so perfect and always had the right things to say to make her feel like she really mattered. It pained her so much to do this, but deep inside she felt like she couldn’t just leave Rowan after all the good things he’s done for her.
“I’m so sorry, Tom…” said Charlie, feeling sad and unable to meet his eyes.
Tom bit the inside of his lip, as if trying to keep back from looking sad and hurt, and nodded. “It’s all right. Don’t worry about it. It was just something that I felt like I had to do. Let’s try and not let this interfere with our friendship, okay? We still got to get you that Bow of Lesser Destruction, after all.”
Charlie nodded, too afraid to speak for fear of crying.
“Anyway,” said Tom, checking the time on his cellphone, “I better get ready for that business meeting. It’s was really great meeting you, Charlie. I hope we can do it again sometime.”
“I’m glad we met, Tom,” said Charlie. “You’re a really great guy.”
Tom nodded, looking just as sad as Charlie did but trying not to look affected, then picked up his things and left the diner. Charlie watched him walk out the door, then inside his car as he drove away. When he was finally out of sight, Charlie buried her face in her hands and started to cry. She knew that even if they said it wouldn’t affect their friendship, things would never be the same again. There would always be that awkwardness between them, and Tom’s feelings would never change, making it so unbearable for him that at some point he would have no choice but to distance himself from the pain he felt inside.
Why did love have to be so complicated?