Poems From the Underground Volume 2
By Jason Wallace
******
Published by:
Poems From the Underground Volume 2
Copyright © 2011 by Jason Wallace
*Disclaimer* I have attempted to denote any writings containing adult language. However, if I have failed to mark any of these writings, I apologize to those that are offended. Please know that it was in no way my intention to fail in marking such things.
Just as Well
I have no heart to satisfy
I am what I've made myself
Time, I find, tries to pass me by
So fast, if nothing else,
My life's a lie
I have nothing good left
But the rest, I guess, isn't worth it
The best I possess
Is a pain that hurts me
What there is, I cannot tell
But that's what I expect, so just as well
Haunting me with open arms
Grasping my all to suck me in
Terror fills my mind so darkly
Wondering if the loss is worth what we win
If you could tell me what to feel or what to give
Maybe I could finally learn to live
I have nothing good left
But the rest, I guess, isn't worth it
The best I possess
Is a pain that hurts me
What there is, I cannot tell
But that's what I expect, so just as well
What I've had since before I fell
Steal my soul, drain my life
I have no control so I can't feel alive
I have nothing good left
But the rest, I guess, isn't worth it
The best I possess
Is a pain that hurts me
What there is, I cannot tell
But that's what I expect, so just as well
I'm screaming inside but no one hears me yell
I'm dying so slowly
Why can't it kill me
I'm trying to know me
But no one does really
I'm the kind to fall in line
And quickly give up and fall behind
Lose everything to gain so little
Attempt to build myself but break
With a will so brittle
I have nothing good left
But the rest, I guess, isn't worth it
The best I possess
Is a pain that hurts me
What there is, I cannot tell
But that's what I expect, so just as well
I have nothing good left
But the rest, I guess, isn't worth it
The best I possess
Is a pain that hurts me
What there is, I cannot tell
But that's what I expect, so just as well
I have the time
When I can sometimes grab it
You could be mine
But what I have left, will you have it
Or will you leave me cold and lonely
Feeling the same as always, broken open
And knowing that I'm all I have only
I have nothing good left
But the rest, I guess, isn't worth it
The best I possess
Is a pain that hurts me
What there is, I cannot tell
But that's what I expect, so just as well
It's just as good
I don't see anything like they say I should
I cannot breathe
I cannot hear
Except everything that causes me fear
I cannot change
I cannot be
Anything you ever thought of me
But the worst you never need
Now I know I never knew that you
Would treat me so badly, the way you do
I have nothing good left
But the rest, I guess, isn't worth it
The best I possess
Is a pain that hurts me
What there is, I cannot tell
But that's what I expect, so just as well
It's just for now
I will only be around as long as you allow
I have nothing good left
But the rest, I guess, isn't worth it
The best I possess
Is a pain that hurts me
What there is, I cannot tell
But that's what I expect, so just as well
Just as much, just as well
Forever or just this once, just as well
Just Like Today
Who knew
I'd miss you
So much
That the only peace I'd get
Is fallin rain
Those short moments long ago
Weren't long enough
And the long ones alone
Just aren't the same
It was all
Just like today
Every breath I take is empty
And all the tears in me
I used to cry
Felt like a flood
Washin over me
Feelin like I would die
All hope's gone away
Because everything's just like today
I met the girl of my dreams
Who said she'd always stay
And every moment since she left
Has felt just like today
Rainy and cloudy
Miserable as I feel
The weather, at least,
Lets me know
That feelin so bad is real
Every breath I take is empty
And all the tears in me
I used to cry
Felt like a flood
Washin over me
Feelin like I would die
All hope's gone away
Because everything's just like today
Everything's blurry
But everything's gray
Everything's unassuring
Just like today
Just like today
It's all nothing
So much, it must be
Completely dark this way
Unloving, ugly
Empty, coming
To the point
You have to say
Make it go away
Every breath I take is empty
And all the tears in me
I used to cry
Felt like a flood
Washin over me
Feelin like I would die
All hope's gone away
Because everything's just like today
Everything's plenty
Of nothing but memories
Of all that's gone to shame
So much like today
Just like today
Couldn’t Give Enough
Did you know
You still have my heart
No matter where all you've been
You left, too afraid it would fall apart,
Too afraid you might let me in
Tell me, where have you gone
Now that you've given up
Why'd you take somethin so right
And turn it so wrong
Did you not give
Cuz you couldn't give enough
What is it you thought it would mean
The two of us in somethin so good
Maybe caught somewhere between
What it should be and
What you feared it would
Tell me, where have you gone
Now that you've given up
Why'd you take somethin so right
And turn it so wrong
Did you not give
Cuz you couldn't give enough
Couldn't give me love
Did you run away
Because I wasn't the dream you dreamed of
Can you tell me how to
Get over you
Do you feel at all the same
If ever my name
Comes to your lips
Or to your ears
Do you wish I could be there
Can I wish you were here
Tell me, where have you gone
Now that you've given up
Why'd you take somethin so right
And turn it so wrong
Did you not give
Cuz you couldn't give enough
Tell me, where have you gone
Now that you've given up
Why'd you take somethin so right
And turn it so wrong
Did you not give
Cuz you couldn't give enough
Did you know
You still have my heart
Barely Hangin’ On
Why is it I
Want you tonight
Nobody else
Not the ones that want me
But the one who I felt
Meant everything
Brought to life
Out of my dreams
The one I know
Who never seems
To have the heart
To ever be
Anything I need
The breath in me
May just be
My only destiny
Livin this side of wrong
I gave you everything I thought there was
You took it all
And then the rest of me
And I'm barely hangin on
If it could be that I
Could look you now
In your eyes
And tell you what I feel
I know if you have a soul
You could only start to cry
So you'd finally see
That everything there's been from me
Has been everything that could be real
We haven't talked in so long
But no matter how much movin on
You try to do
I never don't think of you
And I can want only you... still
The breath in me
May just be
My only destiny
Livin this side of wrong
I gave you everything I thought there was
You took it all
And then the rest of me
And I'm barely hangin on
Barely breathing
Barely hoping
Barely being
Barely coping
Unfairly leaving
You didn't care, we
Were both deceiving
Barely believing
Were we even open
The breath in me
May just be
My only destiny
Livin this side of wrong
I gave you everything I thought there was
You took it all
And then the rest of me
And I'm barely hangin on
You took everything
And I'm barely hangin on
When everything is gone
Does it matter what went wrong
Barely hangin on
The breath in me
May just be
My only destiny
Livin this side of wrong
I gave you everything I thought there was
You took it all
And then the rest of me
And I'm barely hangin on...
Barely hangin on
Did you ever treat me right
Why is it I
Want you tonight
Didn’t Count
Was I the one
Who made her feel so alone
That she cried
What is it I've done
Was it that I lied
I can't remember doing that to her
But memories are cruel
The same as they always were
Maybe the reason why I'm here alone
Is that what I really had
I didn't know
I gave up long before
She walked out
And I thought her love was fake
And didn't count
Lookin back now
I still see a blur
So much I can't figure out
Was I there for her
The truth really is that I can't see
Because tears have blinded
Away reality
I can't help but wonder why
When I had the chance
I didn't try
Maybe the reason why I'm here alone
Is that what I really had
I didn't know
I gave up long before
She walked out
And I thought her love was fake
And didn't count
Maybe the reason why I'm here alone
Is that what I really had
I didn't know
I gave up long before
She walked out
And I thought her love was fake
And didn't count
But if I could go back
To change what went wrong
I would let it all go the way it did
So we could both move on
All I can hope is that I will be
Everything she used to think was me
Maybe she would agree
That all she thought she had
Was a myth, a mystery
Maybe the reason why I'm here alone
Is that what I really had
I didn't know
I gave up long before
She walked out
And I thought her love was fake
And didn't count
I thought all we ever had
Had already gone away and turned bad
I couldn't tell that all she wanted
Was to not have to doubt
But I thought her love was fake
And didn't count
I thought her love was fake
And didn't count
Everything She Needs
When somebody walks away
You can't help but worry
Wantin and wishin that it's you they're missin
Waitin around and wonderin what's their hurry
Every time I close my eyes
I think about
The one who... lied to me
And every time I hear her name
I go insane
The same inside
Knowin I tried to be
Everything she needs
So I have to ask
What can that be
Wasn't I two lovin arms
To give her restless soul some peace
Wasn't I
No regrets when all she wanted
Was to forget
The past that haunts her dreams
Every time everything got to be
Too much to take, too much to breathe
br /> Wasn't I
Everything she needs
Everything she needs
I tried to let her go easy
I thought maybe
She wanted somethin else
And it couldn't be me
So I made an excuse
To make her choose
And she chose to be free
And I'm the one hangin on
Imprisoned here, waitin on
Her choice to change
Hopin she will see
That I really am
Everything she needs
Wasn't I two lovin arms
To give her restless soul some peace
Wasn't I
No regrets when all she wanted
Was to forget
The past that haunts her dreams
Every time everything got to be
Too much to take, too much to breathe
Wasn't I
Everything she needs
Everything she needs
Wasn't I her place of rest
Maybe I didn't understand
But that's all I wanted
And I wanted to be the best
Wasn't I nothin I
Thought I always was
Tryin so hard to not fall apart
Wishin the worries would wash away
Because
Wasn't I two lovin arms
To give her restless soul some peace
Wasn't I
No regrets when all she wanted
Was to forget
The past that haunts her dreams
Every time everything got to be
Too much to take, too much to breathe
Wasn't I
Everything she needs
Everything she needs
Wasn't that me
Wasn't I two lovin arms
To give her restless soul some peace
Wasn't I
No regrets when all she wanted
Was to forget
The past that haunts her dreams
Every time everything got to be
Too much to take, too much to breathe
Wasn't I
Everything she needs
Everything she needs
When somebody walks away
You can't help but worry
Wantin and wishin that it's you they're missin
Waitin around and wonderin what's their hurry
Better
I sometimes think
That my wounds will all heal
But I come to find
That I know they never will
I used to be happy
I used to feel good
I thought life would be more
Than getting by, and I would
Find something more
Than all I knew before
Not live like a bore
And have something to be living for
I want to feel useful
I want to be sound
But every day
I can barely find a way
To get through with no one around
How do I take it
How can I be
More than so empty
More than just me
Not so helpless
Not so insecure
Knowing my life
Will be better for sure
Being alone for so very long
Isn't so bad
If you can feel right
Instead of feeling so wrong
I don't belong here
I don't want to be
All that I'm made of
And what I can't see
Inside so broken
Secretly hoping
That one day, just one
I might be put together
Instead of forever... coming undone
How do I take it
How can I be
More than so empty
More than just me
Not so helpless
Not so insecure
Knowing my life
Will be better for sure
How can I make it