I shook my head. “No, this will be better than the old times.”
Kellan scrutinized me for a moment, then nodded. As I strapped on my guitar, Evan held his hand out. “Good luck, man.” Grinning, I shook his hand and thanked him.
When he stepped away, Matt approached me. He didn’t say anything at first, just looked at me. I started to apologize, since I thought maybe he was still mad, but he held his hand up to stop me. “We’re not allowed to vote, but if I could…I’d vote for you. You’ve been doing amazing, man.”
That moved me more than anything I’d heard from anyone else. I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I could speak. “Thank you…cuz.”
Matt smiled, then smacked me on the back so hard my skin tingled through my shirt. “Now don’t fuck up on camera. You need all the votes you can get.” I flipped him off and he started laughing. The familiar ribbing made me feel better than I had in ages. I finally felt like I belonged here again.
On this particular D-Bags song, the bass started first. Even though my heart was racing, I acted as calm and cool as I could. It’s just another show…not the deciding factor of my entire future. I was a little surprised when I nailed the intro; I usually fucked it up when we played it live. Of course, back in the day, I’d been easily distracted by…well, just about anything. I was focused now though, and I slayed the song. Murdered it in an awesomely gory fashion. It was fucking beautiful.
When the song was over, I raised my fists in the air in victory. The crowd went nuts. Sure, maybe I hadn’t won yet, but a little confidence was always appreciated, so long as I didn’t go overboard. And I wouldn’t. Not anymore.
On the following evening, when Liam and I were backstage waiting for the outcome of our performances from the night before, the surrealism of the moment hit me. Either I was going to win my spot back with the D-Bags, or Liam was. But this was it…it would definitely be one of us.
Seeing the sweat on Liam’s brow, I extended a hand to him. “Hey, I want you to know, if you win…I’m okay with that. I think you’d be a good fit with the D-Bags…maybe even better than me.”
Liam shook my hand, but he eyed me like I was playing him or something. “Who are you, and what have you done with my little brother?”
I laughed at his question. I supposed I did seem like another person…maybe I was. A lot of shitty stuff had happened to me, and I viewed things differently now. But not completely differently. “Oh, I’m still in here, asswipe, and if you do steal my job, I’m giving you a wedgie so deep, you’ll need a doctor to surgically remove the underwear from your ass crack.
A slow smile spread over Liam’s face. “There he is.”
Just then, a person I hadn’t seen in a while approached us. I stood up to greet him. “Hey, Denny, good to see you, man.”
Denny took my hand and shook it, then extended his hand to Liam. “Hi, I’m Denny Harris. My wife and I represent the band.” Liam nodded and Denny’s dark eyes flickered between the two of us. “I just wanted to congratulate you both on how far you’ve come, and wish you both good luck tonight.”
Liam was giddy as he said, “Thanks.” I was more reserved. The last time Denny and I had spoken, I’d been an ass. Seemed to be a pattern with me. “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute,” I told him.
He nodded and we stepped away from Liam. I stared at my feet while I prepared my apology. You’d think I’d be an expert at them by now. “I just wanted to say…sorry I was a prick last time we talked.” I thought to add more, but there really wasn’t any more to add. That pretty much summed it up.
Denny put a hand on my shoulder. “No worries, mate. I’ve already let that go.” When I looked up at him, he smiled. “You seem different,” he told me. “In a good way. I think the audience sees it too.” He glanced over at Liam before looking back at me. “I’d never tell him this, but…you’ve nailed it every time you’ve gone onstage. And you’ve really rallied the country behind you. No small feat, considering how much of a rift you caused when you left.” He patted my arm. “You’ve worked hard, and the guys and I have noticed. We’re all very proud of you.”
My nerves evaporated under his praise. “Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.”
He clapped my shoulder again. “Good luck tonight.”
But after he left, my nerves started creeping back in. This was it…the moment of truth.
When it was time, Liam and I went onstage together. The host gave each of the judges a moment to praise Liam and I for getting this far. Kellan was the last one to speak. He had to wait a solid three minutes for the screaming to die down long enough for him to start. “I just want you both to know, no matter what the outcome is tonight, you’re both winners in my eyes. You’ve both worked hard at earning your right to be in the band. Congratulations.”
The crowd started screaming again, so I tilted my head to thank Kellan for his words. I’d always been so jealous of him, and he’d never been anything but gracious to me. I was such a dick.
After each of the judges had said their words of encouragement, the host turned to Liam and me. He smiled and asked us how we were doing. I fought to keep my expression even. If he took his sweet fucking time opening the fucking envelope tonight, a blood vessel was going to burst in my brain. Just end this fucking torture already!
“You’ve both done so amazing on this show…let’s take a moment to recap, shall we?”
I wanted to groan, I wanted to scream. Instead, I scanned the crowd. There were several faces I recognized—all of my family was here, plus some of my ex-coworkers, Justin and his girlfriend, Kate, Denny and his wife, Abby, but the most important face in the crowd was my wife’s. While Anna watched the monitors playing my montage, I watched her. When the video got to the section of my audition when I said I was sorry to my wife, a tear dripped down Anna’s cheek. She met eyes with me and smiled, then she mouthed the words I love you.
Grinning myself, I switched my gaze to my feet. Win or lose, it was okay, because Anna and I had healed something broken between us, and that was more important than any job ever would be. After Liam’s video montage ended, the host returned his eyes to us. “Let’s not make you boys wait any longer. The winner of Can You Be a D-Bag? is…” I closed my eyes and squeezed Liam’s hand. Either way, I was fine with this. The host’s booming voice echoed around the auditorium as he announced the winner. “Liam Hancock! Congratulations, Liam!”
There was an explosion of light and noise, and confetti streamers started pouring down onto the stage like rain. Opening my eyes, I looked over at Liam. Several things happened to my body simultaneously: joy, pain, elation, sorrow. My brother won! And I lost…
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’d wanted this so much, and I’d just lost it. Permanently. I felt my vision hazing, my knees buckling, but somehow, I pushed the feeling aside. This contest wasn’t mine to lose. I’d had my chance with the D-Bags, and I’d blown it. My time was over; it was Liam’s time to shine now. Pushing aside the lingering agony, I squeezed Liam in a gigantic bear hug. This was okay. Liam deserved to win. The other eighteen contestants flooded the stage as the host thanked the audience, the viewers, and the numerous sponsors. The cameras eventually stopped recording, the confetti eventually stopped falling, and people eventually started leaving. I stayed on the stage, floored. It was over…and after all of that, I’d lost.
The guys came over to congratulate Liam. They were instantly surrounded by fans who’d stayed for autographs. Some even asked Liam for his, which astonished him by the look on his face. Evan, Matt, and Kellan each gave me shocked, sympathetic expressions. It made me feel better to see them surprised; they’d all thought I’d win. Denny and Abby joined their circle, and I watched from the outside as the new D-Bags began forming.
While I stared at them, Anna and the girls approached me. Gibson wrapped her arms around my waist, while Onnika held her hands out and asked for me. I picked up the miniature version of my wife and squeezed her tight. This is what matters. Anna
tenderly laid her fingers on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Griffin. I know how badly you wanted this.”
Opening my eyes, I shook my head. “I wanted this more.” I squeezed Onnika and wrapped an arm around Gibson for emphasis. Anna crooked a smile. Wondering just what she thought of our future now, I set Onnika down; she immediately started playing with the half foot of confetti piled on the stage. Facing Anna, I grabbed her hands. “I didn’t win, I’m not a D-Bag anymore.”
She shrugged. “You’ll always be a D-Bag to me.”
With a sigh, I looked down. “Do you still want to be with me if I’m not in a band, if I have a regular, crap-paying job?”
Removing her hand from mine, Anna lifted my chin so I’d look at her. “Griffin, it was never about the band, it was never about the money. It was about us being team, us being honest…that was what mattered to me. Feeling like I was important to you was what mattered to me. And I finally feel that way. So yes, crap job or not, I still want to be with you.” She laced our fingers together and stepped forward until we were touching. “Always.”
Grinning, I gave her a soft kiss. “At least the sequestering part is over with. We can do a lot more than just talk now.”
She laughed as she returned my kisses. “But I like the talking,” she said, her voice husky.
“I do too, but I’m ready to go home.” My tone started out playful, but ended up serious. I’d missed her. So much.
“Go home…where?” she tentatively asked.
Pulling back, I looked her in the eye. “Wherever you are, that’s my home.”
Smiling, she leaned in to kiss me again. After several long moments, our kids wanted our attention again. Gibson was practically crawling up my pant leg, so I picked her up, then skillfully, I picked up Onnika too. I half expected them to start fighting in my arms, but maybe having taken my “be nice” message to heart, Gibson handed Onnika some confetti. Onnika smiled and told her, “Tank you.”
As the four of us started walking off the stage, Anna sighed. “You know…I’ll kind of miss this stage. It was…fun.” She looked back at me with a playful gleam, and I knew she wasn’t talking about the show.
My grin was devilish. “Yeah, it was. We might have to crash a D-Bags show so we can spread some ‘luck’ on their stage.”
Anna laughed. Oh yeah…we were so going to christen their tour. I had no doubt in my mind. I set the kids down as we approached the steps. They were heavier than I remembered. Anna held Gibson’s hand while I held Onnika’s. As I helped Onnie down the stairs, Anna tossed out, “Oh, before I forget…something happened on that stage that I haven’t had a chance to tell you about yet.”
I looked back at her, curious. “Oh yeah, what? Were we filmed?” I smiled, hoping she said yes—that would be one fucking hot sex tape.
Anna grinned but shook her head. “No…but you kind of, sort of knocked me up. I’m due in May.”
I stumbled off the last step and nearly knocked Onnika over. “You…we…what?”
Laughing, Anna let go of Gibson and slung her arms around my neck. “We’re going to have another baby,” she told me. A glowing happiness was in her eyes when she said it.
Still thrown off by the multiple recent shocks, I felt like I wasn’t understanding her words. “We made a baby onstage?” When she smiled and nodded, I looked around and shouted, “We made a baby onstage!”
Fans and crew members were still milling about, along with Liam and the guys, and the rest of my family was still in the audience, waiting to console me and congratulate Liam. They all looked my way after hearing my exclamation. I saw more than a few puzzled expressions, then my mom screamed, “I’m gonna be a grandma again!” and I knew they understood.
Exhilaration lifted me. I didn’t know what Anna and I were going to do, and I still had money problems to deal with, but I felt more hopeful than I had in a long time. I had Anna, and she had me, and our family was about to get bigger and better. I couldn’t wait to see what happened next.
Liam left L.A. the same day I did, a few days after the contest ended. I’d wanted to leave earlier to be with Anna, who’d had to return to her job as soon as she could, but I’d also wanted to say goodbye to my family here. I wouldn’t be returning. Not to live, at any rate. My home was in Seattle, with my wife and children.
Mom and Dad drove Liam and me to the airport. Mom went on and on about how proud she was of both of us. She started almost every sentence with “Now, I know you didn’t win, Griffin, but…” I wished she’d stop prefacing everything with those words. I was fine with the way everything had gone down. Liam was out of his freaking mind with cheer. He practically bounced off the walls in the car.
“We’re gonna start working on a new album right away. The guys want to get me out there, get me accepted. Then there will be tours, promotional stuff, TV gigs…ugh! This is all so awesome!”
His excitement made me laugh. It reminded me of how I’d felt when the D-Bags had first gone on Justin’s tour. It was a high, that was for sure…but it was nothing compared to knowing that Anna would be home, waiting for me when I got there. Just thinking of the upcoming alone time with my wife was giving me a boner. How long was this fucking flight?
Once we got to the airport, Mom and Dad gave us goodbye hugs, wished us well, and begged for updates. Liam and I attracted attention as we walked through the halls, and quite a few people stopped to congratulate us. By the way they said it, you’d think we’d both won. Liam was gracious and at ease with his newfound fans. He was a natural at being a star. I knew he would be; it ran in the family.
Once we were boarded and resting in first class, compliments of the show, Liam closed his eyes. “I’m already exhausted,” he told me.
Shaking my head, I answered, “Better get used to it. It’s just going to get crazier.”
I texted Anna that I was on my way. She texted me back a picture of her chest. Jesus. This was going to be a long ass flight. As I debated quickly sending her a photo of my hard-on, I got a text from Chelsey. Reading it made me smile. Don’t forget…the dog may have lost everything, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t get it back. And remembering his loss made the next steak he ate ten times as savory. That’s the beauty of second chances. Don’t I know it.
Three hours later, I was walking into my new apartment. A modest two-bedroom place with the backside of a building as its only view. It was small. Pitifully small. But with Chelsey’s words ringing through my head, it felt massive. It felt like the largest, warmest, most wonderful place on earth…because my family was here.
Anna had given me a key before she’d left, and I let myself in. Hoping to surprise her, I tried to be as quiet as possible. Being stealthy had never been one of my specialties though, and I bumped and banged a few times as I ran into things. Anna didn’t come out to greet me, so I tiptoed down the hallway. Walking past the girls’ bedroom made me pause, and I peeked into their room to check on them. They were fast asleep in their beds. Onnika was holding a doll while she sucked on her thumb, and Gibson had Crock tight to her chest as she lightly snored. Like a trail of breadcrumb clues, evidence of everything they’d played with today covered their floor; there were dolls, teacups, books, stuffed animals, and building blocks everywhere. A pang went through me as I stared at the chaos. I’d missed a chunk of their childhood. Maybe it had been a small chunk, but I’d still missed it. Never again. I wouldn’t miss a second of my new baby’s life.
“I thought that was you I heard banging stuff.”
My surprise blown, I looked over at my wife as I shut my daughters’ door. She’d just come out of our bedroom…and she was wearing her work uniform. My jaw dropped as I took in the tight, bright orange shorty shorts, and the tank top that was just opaque enough that I could have seen her bra underneath it…if she’d been wearing one.
“Oh…holy…fuck…” I muttered.
Anna grinned as she played with a long lock of her hair. “Yeah, I figured you’ve missed this outfit.” She put her hands on her h
ips, turned to show me her ass, then slightly bent over in a Come fuck me pose. Goddamn…
I pointed to the room she’d just stepped out of. “I need to be inside you, right now.” Unzipping my pants, I started heading her way. She giggled, then took off into our room. I had my shoes kicked off and my pants around my ankles by the time I got to the door. When I stepped inside, I closed the door, flung my jeans away and ripped off my shirt.
Anna was lying on the bed, her hair fanned out around her. Her back was arched, her nipples were hard, and her legs were ceaselessly rubbing together; she had an ache just as profound as mine.
Giving my cock long, teasing strokes as I approached her, I murmured, “The Hulk will see you now…”
Chapter 28
Winners and Losers
Early in the morning, a couple of days later, I was tackled by two energetic little girls. Luckily I’d put some underwear on before falling asleep the night before. Anna and I had been making good use out of our daughter’s early bedtime by reconnecting between the sheets. I’d almost forgotten how horny being pregnant made my wife.
I let out a groaning laugh as Gibson jumped on me and Onnika crawled up my legs. Gibson’s cat, Kitty Sunshine, crawled up near my head and sat down with her ass almost in my face. “Good morning, Daddy!” Gibson, exclaimed, way too chipper for the early hour. Was the sun even up yet?
“Good morning, babe,” I grumbled. Reaching down, I started tickling her. Her laugher woke me up better than coffee. I’d missed this. I pulled Gibson into my arms then pulled Onnika up. Rotating my head back and forth, I gave each girl a tender kiss.
Anna was leaning against the doorframe, watching us. She was wearing casual lounge pants and the Douchebags band shirt I’d given to her the first time I’d met her. She’d blown me away that night with her beauty, her fun-loving spirit, her flirty nature…her amazing rack. There were so many things I loved about her that it was almost weird to me that I hadn’t been able to properly express it. Until now.