Page 31 of Metro 2035


  “You’re a heavy lump, damn you.”

  “Or maybe it is Polar Dawns? How does he know? Eh?”

  “Just don’t jerk your legs about! Or I’ll dump you right now and you can crawl on your own!”

  “And I’ll go there, Zhen. I’ll go. After all, no one … None of the creeps is going to admit anything. I have to go to this Balashikha myself. To look for the outpost. Otherwise there’s no way of knowing what’s really going on. Will you go with me, Zhen?”

  “You know what? You want the truth? Now you’re really pushing it. First it’s carry you to TsvetnoI Boulevard, to this Sashenka of yours. And now we’ve barely even reached Trubnaya Station, and you want to go to Balashikha! That’s a bit over the top, don’t you reckon? You’re not some bucket of shit I can carry round and round in circles. You weigh sixty kilograms! And by the way, I served my time in that hellhole, just like you! And I swung a pick while you waltzed around with that little barrow of yours! Have you no shame? That’s it, get down.”

  “Hang on, Zhen … Where have you brought me?”

  “Where? To your Sashenka, that’s where. Lie here. I’ll go and knock. If they don’t open up … Then we wasted our time climbing out.”

  “Zhen. Do you think I don’t understand anything? You’re dead. I know that. How did you carry me here?”

  “Me? You’re the dead one.”

  * * *

  “Right, I warn you straight off. You bundled that goner of ours off to the next world, but you just make good and certain that Tyomich here gets back up on his feet.”

  “What’s wrong with his shoulders? And his leg?”

  “An injury. Occupational, to keep it short. So rub something on it.”

  “Such as what? Take a look around.”

  “At my station they rub shit on everything, but I hope you’ve got something with a bit more kick to it. Or did I waste my time dragging him down here from on top?”

  “Don’t you get pushy now. Or you’ll be plodding back up there.”

  “I’m a patient too, by the way! Take a look at my back, lady! I wasn’t scratched by a woman either.”

  “It would be better if you had been. And this one looks like he was run over by a train. Give me some light … Not really my area. I’m a venereologist, you know. I’ve got a queue waiting.”

  “Lady, I know who you are. Just patch him up the way he was before. And after that you can feel my balls. I’m a bit worried. Someone told me something very disturbing!”

  “Why’s he unconscious? That’s not because of the knee! And this flush he has. Maybe he’s been sunbathing too, eh?”

  “I’ve been sunbathing. And I’m conscious. I need to get some sleep. Where’s Sasha?”

  “Who’s Sasha? Oh, and look here …”

  * * *

  “Hey! This the one?”

  “Eh?”

  “Is this the chick?”

  “Wait. Stop blurring like that … Stay still.”

  “This one? Is she your Sasha?”

  “How did you find me?”

  “She found you? Ha! I turned this entire damned brothel upside down! I did! You’re some ungrateful brute, aren’t you now?”

  “I remember him. I remember. You … What are you doing here?”

  “And I remember … Since I remembered you … I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.”

  “You’re Artyom, right? The stalker from Economic Achievements. Am I right? What’s wrong with him?

  “What’s wrong with him? You can see the state he’s in.”

  “He can’t stay here.”

  “Why can’t I stay here? I don’t want to go anywhere else. I walked to get here.”

  “Uh-huh, you walked. He walked, uh-huh.”

  “He can’t, because … Because I’m working. This is my working room.”

  “Well, work with him now. Or did I bugger up my back for nothing, then?”

  “What do you … What do you remember, Artyom? From that night?”

  “You. I remember I was lying on your knees. And I felt … I felt so … Can I rest my head on you again? I really need to.”

  “He can’t stay here. You have to take him away.”

  “Please. Otherwise, where will I get the strength to leave? Just for five minutes.”

  “Five minutes. All right.”

  “And stroke my hair, please. Like that. Yes. Again. God, that’s so good.”

  “Let me pay for an hour for him! I’m up to my ears in debt anyway … It was hardly worth the trudge for just five minutes!”

  “What? Artyom … Do you see? Look …”

  “Well yes, that’s basically what I’m talking about.”

  “Eh? What? Don’t stop, oh please.”

  “Your hair’s coming out, Artyom. It’s falling out.”

  “My hair? Really? That’s funny … Really funny …”

  * * *

  “You said only five minutes …”

  “Be quiet. Here, swallow this. Take a drink of water. Swallow. Swallow it, come on, you need it. It’s iodine.”

  “I don’t care what it is. It’s good the five minutes aren’t up yet. It’s too late to take iodine. Thanks.”

  “You were talking … In your sleep. About Homer. I couldn’t make it out. Do you know Homer?”

  “Yes. Yes. Homer. A fine old man. He’s looking for you. He thinks you drowned. It was you who drowned, right? At Tula?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you didn’t drown after all? I really, really don’t want you to have drowned!”

  “Of course she didn’t drown! She’s sitting there, look: not as red-faced as you are, of course …”

  “You know what I did? I remembered what you told me. About the city on the surface. That stupid story. I used to go up there every day. And then … All that about airplanes with dragonfly wings. And the railway carriage cars. And the rain. I got caught in the rain up there. Without a rubber suit.”

  “That’s probably when you picked this up! And you dragged me up there without a suit too! Let’s go, let’s go, you said. Ha, me—a stalker! I should have stayed in the tunnel with that crowd of jokers … I had already problems anyway …”

  “Could you go out? What’s your name?”

  “Uh-huh, pay for an hour, that’s just fine, but the slightest thing, and it’s go take a walk, right?”

  “Lyokha … Go take a walk, eh?”

  “Why you creeps! Although you look pretty good. All right, you do your billing and cooing. If your plug isn’t burnt out, that is.”

  “What do you remember, Artyom? What else?”

  “I don’t know. I remember that some man picked me up in the corridor. He took me … Was it here?”

  “No, not here.”

  “And he called you. And after that … I don’t know. I remember I was lying on your knees. Like right now. And … Could you just pull your top up a bit here? Yes, there, that’s it. Your stomach. This here … Wait. Where’s that from? It was cigarettes, right?”

  “That’s not important.”

  “I’ve got some exactly the same. Look, here on my arm … They just appeared. What is that?”

  “I don’t know, Artyom. Can I pull it down? I’m cold. And where is he now? Homer?”

  “He’s in the Reich. Writing a book. A history textbook. He’s got another book too. About you.”

  “About me? Did he finish writing it?”

  “Yes. I think it finished like this: ‘Homer never did find Sasha’s body at Tula.’”

  “I got out through a ventilation shaft.”

  “Me too. The same. Funny, eh?”

  “And what does it say there about Hunter?”

  “About who? Wait … About who?”

  “Lie down … Lie down … You’re sick! You mustn’t get up!”

  “Hey! Come out of there! Where are you? I’m from Catfish!”

  “That’s it, my customer’s arrived. Stay here. Later.”

  * * *

  “Co
me on, what’s up? Don’t shrink away like that. Come over here. On my knees.”

  “Money first.”

  “Money she wants! And maybe I want to try a little sample first! To make sure. See what the quality’s like. Come on!”

  “Ow!”

  “Wider! Open up wider! Right. That’s it. Tha-a-at’s it …”

  “Just a moment. A second. It’s uncomfortable like that.”

  “It doesn’t have to be comfortable for you, little bunny. Not for you, you little bitch. Not for you, not for you.”

  * * *

  “Why are you staring at me?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Well, all right then. You knew what I do, didn’t you? What sort of place you’d come to? And anyway, you hour’s over already.”

  “I … It’s nothing to do with you. I’m sorry. Should I leave?”

  “Where will you go to … In that state. Just lie down. Aren’t you going to say anything, then?”

  “About Hunter. What Homer says about Hunter in that book of his?”

  “I thought you were going to tell me. Do you know him?”

  “Hunter? Do I know him? Is he … Is he alive, then? Have you seen him?”

  “I saw him. The book was supposed to be about him, not about me. Homer was traveling with him. They were together. And then we were all together.”

  “When? What year was it?”

  “Last year. That whole story of his, the one he was writing—I just happened to turn up. He was looking for a hero all the time. Out of the myths. He’s so funny, Homer. I looked over his shoulder when he was writing in his notebook. He described Hunter as so … Mysterious … As if he had a monster inside him. And as if that monster was trying to break out. Homer … He wants to be poet.”

  “He wants to be Homer. But you know, I …”

  “What?”

  “I’m from Exhibition, you know, Economic Achievements … I already told you all that, didn’t I? And I lived there almost all my life. My stepfather didn’t let me go anywhere. And then Hunter showed up. In armor. With a machine gun. And this black leather coat. With his head shaved. And he argued with Sukhoi … With my stepfather. Hunter said there was no threat that we humans couldn’t handle. That we had to keep on fighting to the end. Like the frog that fell into a jar of milk and worked away with its legs until it churned the milk into butter, and then climbed out. I can see him saying it right now. But my stepfather … His brains had gone soft. He was ready to surrender.”

  “Who to?”

  “The Dark Ones. It doesn’t matter. Anybody at all. The important thing is that I saw Hunter, and that was it. I realized that was the way I had to be. He wasn’t Homer’s hero … Ha! He was my hero. And it was him that sent me … He gave this assignment. He went up onto the surface to destroy the Dark Ones. ‘If I don’t come back,’ he told me, ‘you’ve got to get to Polis. Take this cartridge … And find Miller.’ Do you understand? It’s all because of him. I became who I am because of him. Thanks to him.”

  “I fell in love with him too. And now look, the two of us have met up. Two fools.”

  “Sashulka! Where are you, you pest?”

  “I’m sorry. Maybe you can sleep for a while?”

  * * *

  “You haven’t been here in a long time.”

  “And would you believe, I haven’t been with anyone apart from you! I’ve been waiting to see you!”

  “Are you tired? Lie down; I’ll do everything myself.”

  “What about you? That doesn’t seem decent somehow. I want you to, you know, as well.”

  “Don’t worry. I enjoy it anyway. Really. It’s always good with you. You’re careful and you’re gentle.”

  “And you … Do you know what it’s like for me with you? Not like with my wife.”

  “No more idle chatter. Stop it. I don’t need any extra money. Here. Take this off.”

  “Ooh. Ooh you … What … Ooh. I love you … You’re my …”

  * * *

  “Are you sleeping?”

  “In this place?”

  “Wait, I’ll just rinse myself off. I’m all smelly … I smell of him. Will you wait?”

  “Yes.”

  * * *

  “Anyway, I thought he’d been killed. I thought that all this time. But you tell me he’s alive.”

  “He was. I don’t know about now. I didn’t try to look for him. After I clambered out of Tula … I’d go anywhere, but not back there. Not to a place where I could meet him.”

  “Why?”

  “Didn’t Homer write about what happened at Tula? Why it got flooded? Didn’t he?”

  “I didn’t read it. He just said it was flooded.”

  “Oh, right. Homer was always trying to justify him. The monster woke up … And in the notebook I was trying to tame the monster. Who’d believe something like that?”

  “But what really happened?”

  “He took to drink. Hunter. And he drank really hard. He was totally plastered every day. He staggered about, couldn’t even walk straight. It was frightening to be near him. Terrifying. He’s a killer. He has that pistol with him all the time. With the silencer. He grabs for it at the slightest little thing. A pistol in his right hand and a flask in his left. He never stopped. Always swigging. He could hardly string two words together. I asked him to stop. He couldn’t. That’s how it was. Greetings to Homer.”

  “He … Did he touch you?”

  “No. Not once. He shunned me like fire. Maybe he didn’t want to spoil a young girl. Or maybe he just didn’t need any of that, women. But me, when our eyes met … I went weak at the knees. Imagining that someday … he would … well, hug me and so on. What could I imagine then?”

  “And what happened to Tula?’

  “He flooded it. Mined it close as he could to the groundwaters and flooded it. With all the people who were sick and the ones who were healthy. To prevent an epidemic in the Metro. And to make sure they didn’t escape from there, he set up flamethrowers. I was at Tula. And I shouted to him, told him there was a cure. He heard me. He saw me there. But he blew everything up anyway. Three of us got out of the station. All the others drowned.”

  “What for? What did he do it for?”

  “He said he had to save the Metro. Save it like that. But I think he just got this itch. You know? The booze wasn’t enough for him.”

  “That’s not what’s in Homer’s book.”

  “What is in it?”

  “In the book you ask for a miracle, I think. And afterwards, when the water breaks through … You think it’s started raining. Something like that.”

  “I ask for a miracle!”

  * * *

  “I … I feel bad. Sick. Help me … Get to the toilet.’

  “You can do it here. Nothing bothers me. Shall I give you a basin?”

  “I don’t want to do it here. Not in front of you.”

  * * *

  “Come on! Come on! More! More! Please, more! Well? Well?”

  “You’re sweet. Such a sweet girl. God, how sweet you are.”

  “Don’t stop. More. I want more.”

  “I can’t … I can’t … I …”

  “No. No, no.”

  “I’m finished. Finished. My God. My God. I love you.”

  “Don’t talk nonsense.”

  “No, honestly. I’ll take you out of here. I’ll save up a bit and take you out. I don’t want you to be in here. This isn’t the right place for you. I’ll take you out.”

  “Okay, you persuaded me.”

  “Ah, my sweet girl! How much do I owe you?”

  “The same as last time.”

  “How about giving me a little discount? Give me something off! As a regular customer!”

  * * *

  “What do you do it for?’

  “What?”

  “Why do you work like this? I’m not lecturing you about morals, it’s just …”

  “Now it’s starting, right?”

  “No, rea
lly. Homer said that … that you weren’t like that.”

  “Like what? You don’t understand, do you? What difference does it make what Homer said? He lives in his own magical world. And I live in my real one. And in my real world, it’s better to do this than shoot people in the head. And what else could I do? Dream about how someday we’ll all go back to the surface and how wonderful and amazing it will be? But that’s later, and I need money now.”

  “Only for the money? But what if you had money?”

  “Well, have you got any?”

  “No.”

  “Then what are we talking about?”

  “How did you end up in here?”

  “A kind man brought me here. He picked me up and gave me the job. I don’t have anyone else. And nowhere to live. Have you got a home?”

  “Yes.”

  “And a wife?”

  “Yes. I did have. I do.”

  “Well, that’s good. What are you doing here?”

  “I don’t want to go there. I feel calmer here.”

  “You’ll have to leave soon. You can lie here a little bit longer, and then on your way. You can come back later sometime.”

  “Why?”

  “My master will come. He mustn’t see you.”

  “What master? Your pimp?”

  “Lie down. And calm down. Have some broth, drink it. Drink.”

  “I won’t drink that garbage … I feel sick. What master?”

  “It’s not important.”

  “What are you, a slave? What master?”

  “You fool!”

  “Do you get pleasure out of this? From all these dirty men?”

  “Pleasure … By the way, it would be a good idea for you to get a wash too. Get up. I’ll show you where.”

  * * *

  “Can you find Lyokha? The broker? The one who brought me here? Tell him to collect me. I have to spend the night somewhere.”

  “You can … You can stay today. My master probably won’t come. Because of this war … He doesn’t come every day now. Do you want to?”

  “Where? Right here? Or on that bed where you …”

  “Here. Will you eat with me? Mushrooms.”

  “Thanks. I don’t know how … I’ll pay you afterwards.”

  “Let me take a look at your knee. Someone gave me some ointment. Lie still.”