Chapter 15
“Can I ask you something?” I stare at Orion’s face across the couch. He’s typing away on his phone, checking in with Canis and Vela to see how things are going on their end of things. Since I woke up this morning I’ve been waiting for him to say something about what happened between us but he hasn’t. He ordered us breakfast and we’ve just been lounging around the hotel room all morning. His silence about the events of yesterday is starting to irritate me. My confidence in my answer to the Orion puzzle has started to falter ever so slightly and dammit I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him.
“Of course.” He sets his phone down and gives me his undivided attention.
“I think we should talk about yesterday.” My voice falters a bit under his gaze but we need to talk about things otherwise I’m going to keep stressing about it.
“What about it?”
“You know. About the kiss and all that.”
“What about it?”
“What does it mean?”
“What do you want it to mean?” he asks. He has that smile on again. The one that makes him look sweet and innocent but underneath I know he’s teasing me.
“Orion, come on, this is serious. I want to know what it means. Does it mean we’re dating? Was it just a onetime thing? Is this serious or is it just a fling to you? Because I’ll have you know that I’m not okay with that. I don’t date for fun and I want to know what this means so I can be prepared. You’re a Constellation and that in itself is complicated and I don’t need to be stressing over what I am to you.”
“Ailey,” he takes my hand and I stop my rambling and look into his eyes.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
For a moment I think I misheard him.
“What?”
“I love you,” he says again. “I have since the night I met you. It just took me awhile to realize it.”
“I don’t understand. You barely know me.” I know I’m being a hypocrite by saying it considering how I feel for him even though we’ve only known each other for a short time.
“I don’t think that’s true. I know you are kind and care about everyone, even strangers. I know the thought of being a nuisance drives you crazy. I know you are independent and it makes you uncomfortable when someone takes care of you. I know there’s a deep sadness you keep bottled up. I know despite that sadness you are strong and your presence is like a cool breeze on a hot day, refreshing and calm. I know being around you makes me happy even though I don’t show it all the time. You make me feel like I don’t need to worry so much; like I can breathe even though I’m not in control. I know the thought of something happening to you scares me more than any battle. And I know that I don’t want anyone to feel about you the way I do.”
“Orion,” I say softly, unable to say anymore due to the emotion welling up in my chest.
“So yes, I may not know everything about you but I don’t need to in order to love you. Don’t pretend either because I know you love me too despite not knowing everything about me.”
“How?” I ask, shocked, and then it hits me. “Your power.”
He nods.
“That really is cheating you know.”
He just smiles. “I’m sorry I confused you but I didn’t know how to act. I’ve never dated anyone seriously, human or Star, and I’ve certainly never loved someone in that way. I didn’t know what I was feeling and then when the Zodiacs started asking you about the ring I realized the real reason I had given it to you. I was mad that Leo acted so familiar with you and I got angry. I hadn’t planned on falling in love with you and I felt out of control of my own emotions. I took my frustration out on you and that wasn’t fair of me. I’m sorry.”
“Why me?
“Why you?”
“Yeah. After all the years you’ve lived, why do you love me?”
“I don’t know. It would be simpler if there was some kind of reason beyond emotions but I’ve learned from observing over the years that love rarely makes sense or is simple. It just happens.”
“So it’s not because I’m some kind of Star princess and I just don’t know it?”
Orion laughs and takes my hand.
“No, nothing like that. You’re just you and you is enough.” He kisses my forehead. “Are you good now or do you have more questions?”
I smile.
“Just one. Who do I introduce you as? Oliver? Orion? Boyfriend? Moose pj boy?”
Orion laughs and pushes me back so I’m lying on the couch. He crouches above me.
“You can introduce me as anything you want,” he whispers.
He kisses the base of my throat and my heart rate increases again. He makes his way up my neck and my hands grip his biceps. His lips meet mine and the emotions I felt the first time we kissed come crashing over me again.
Puzzle definitely solved.
-------------------------------------------------
“Orion?” I whisper. I’m lying wrapped in his arms on the couch. I don’t want there to be anything in the way of our new relationship so I’ve decided to tell him.
“What is it?” Sensing my sadness, he looks down at me and strokes my hair.
“The sadness you talked about,” I stop, trying to decide if I should just say it out right or lead up to it.
“What about it?” he urges me. I look at him and decide.
“My parents died. Not long after I graduated.”
There’s a long silence before he speaks. “I know that.”
“What do you mean? You knew?” I sit up and stare at him in shock. How long has he known? “Did Canis tell you?”
“Canis didn’t tell me. The night you were attacked, I went back to your house to see if I could pick up Alexander’s trail. Initially I thought they were out of town and that’s why they hadn’t been in the house with you but the house seemed empty and while I was looking around I found their room. People don’t leave everything when they go on vacation. I knew what had happened.”
He rubs his thumb across the back of my hand, comforting me.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“You didn’t want to be treated differently, right?”
“How did you-” He hit the nail right on the head.
“I was the same way. When I lost friends in the war and then later Alexander, all I wanted was for people to stop treating me like I was fragile. It just reminded me of what I had lost. I thought since you hadn’t said anything to me then you probably wanted the same thing.”
“It’s true. No one in town will even talk about my parents anymore. I felt like they were always watching me. The night I met you was the first time in a long time I was around someone who didn’t know about what had happened. It was refreshing knowing you didn’t know. I wasn’t ready for that to end. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I understand, and there’s no need to apologize. After all, I wasn’t really honest with you the first time we met either.” And just like he always does, he makes me feel better.
“That’s true. Mister hi my name is Oliver and I’m just a normal guy who travels around the world with money I inherited.” We laugh.
“My story could use some work, I know, but I like the name Oliver. Orion, Oliver, I think it works.”
“Okay, I’ll give you that one. I’ll try to remember to use Oliver in public.”
“That would be good. Nowadays I probably could go by Orion and play it off that my parents were space enthusiasts, but people remember those with unique names and it’s not good to be remembered in our situation.”
“I suppose that’s true. Isn’t it hard lying though?”
“You get used to it.”
Would I have to get used to it too? I’d already been lying to Stacy and I knew I’d have to lie again if Orion and I stayed together. What would I say when it became obvious that he wasn’t aging? Thinking about how hard things would be in a few years I felt my chest tighten. My
previous happiness was overshadowed with thoughts of how it would be impossible to stay together. I’d get old and he wouldn’t. I couldn’t just ignore that.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Orion’s worried voice cuts through my dark thoughts.
“Oh, it’s nothing.” I shake it off and give him a smile. I could worry about those things later. Right now I just wanted to enjoy being together.
“If you say so.” I could tell he didn’t believe me but he doesn’t press me and I’m glad. There are more important things to worry about.