“All your questions will be answered in time. First, you must learn from your past mistakes because your eternal soul depends on it.”
Shane cried out, “Please, I don’t understand.”
“Remember that I am always with you, and promise me you will not let your pride delay your eternal journey.” With those final words, Shane felt pulled from the strangely, illumined room.
Bolting upright, he looked around his room. “Was that real, or a dream?”
Sitting on the edge of his bed, Shane tried to understand what it all meant. He knew it must have been a dream, but a small voice deep inside his soul told him otherwise.
***
“Dinner’s ready,” Patricia tapped lightly on the bedroom door.
“Okay, I’m coming.” Shane glanced around the bedroom one last time. Shaking his head, he stood and followed his mother down the hall. “That was weird.”
Chapter 3
As the years progressed, Shane continued to have visits from the mysterious woman in his dreams. He would enjoy their time together, but once he awoke, she became a distant memory in the far reaches of his mind. He also noticed how at times he would feel a gentle nudge if he ever found himself in a potentially dangerous situation. At those times, he wondered if it was her.
One day, Shane had decided to tell his mother about the strange feelings that would come over him and the voice who warned him of potential danger. He had wondered if she would think him crazy, but she had told him to always listen to his inner voice. She said it would help protect him from making wrong the choices.
“Son, I have always listened to my inner voice, and it has saved me from harm many times. I believe loved ones who have passed on to the next existence watch over us and warn us of danger.”
Shane had appreciated his mother’s words, but he felt there was something more to this voice. It seemed so familiar, and the feelings it stirred inside of him were a mixture of pure happiness and agonizing pain. He could not explain it, but he found himself looking forward to the times when the inner voice would visit him. He would never tell his mother, but he also could not explain the feelings of love and devotion he had for this mysterious visitor.
***
The voice had remained silent for several months until one night when Shane was sixteen years old. He had made the decision to join a group of friends for a night of drinking and troublemaking. After lying to his parents that he was going to watch a movie and stay at a friend’s house for the night, Shane soon found himself facing a dangerous decision. He knew it was wrong to go. How by doing it would betray the trust his parents had in him, but he could not let his friends think him a coward.
“Dean’s here,” Patricia tapped on his bedroom door. “He’s waiting in the driveway.”
There was something off about Dean. He never wanted to come in the house, so she was disappointed when he was the one who came to pick up Shane for the movies.
Not wanting any probing questions, Shane rushed out of his room and went straight to the front door, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mom.”
“Whose house will you be staying at tonight?” Patricia did not like the feeling she had growing inside of her.
“Don’t worry, I’m staying with Jeremy. We’re picking him up next,” this lie caused a pang of guilt to stab Shane’s heart.
“Oh, that’s fine then. Have fun and remember to behave yourself,” Patricia watched him rush out the door and said a silent prayer he would be safe.
“I will,” quickly closing the front door behind him, Shane rushed out to the car before she could say anything else.
***
The boys had decided to meet in the parking lot of the abandoned truck stop that had closed a few years earlier. It had become a favorite place for the local kids to hang out because it was just outside of town but away from the watchful eye of the city police. They had been there for a couple of hours, and had drunk and smoked until none of them had their senses about them. Suddenly, Dean Bales, who was new to town, jumped up on the roof of his car.
“Come on, guys. My grandfather always keeps beer in a refrigerator in his garage. He goes to sleep early, so he’ll never know we were even there. He normally has at least a case or two. Grandma doesn’t let him drink in the house, so he stays out in the garage whenever he wants to drink.” Dean laughed at the idea of his grandfather sitting at the work bench on his old wooden stool, drinking his beer.
“Do you really think we can get in and back out without being heard?” Jeremy snickered as he threw an empty beer can into the bed of Scott’s truck with it landing inside of the empty ice chest.
“I know we can,” Dean opened his car door and got in. “Come on, who’s going with me?”
“I will,” Jeremy walked over to Dean’s car and got into the front seat.
“I’ll come,” Scott jumped out of the bed of his truck.
“What about you, Shane?” Dean said as he started his car. “Are you going or staying here?”
Shane did not like the idea of stealing beer and especially from someone’s grandfather, but he also did not want them to think him a coward.
“I’m in,” he finally relented then climbed into the backseat with Scott.
“What are you doing, my love?” the voice whispered in Shane’s ear with a hint of fear.
“What did you say?” Shane looked over at Scott.
“I didn’t say anything. Man, you must be hearing things,” Scott chuckled as he lit a cigarette then took a long drag on it.
“Why are you going with them?” the voice persisted; however, this time much louder and with more force. “You can’t let your pride destroy you in this life.”
As Dean parked the car across the street from his grandfather’s house, Shane felt a profound sense of dread wrap around his body with such force that he could barely breathe.
“Are you okay?” Scott said as he tossed the cigarette butt out of the car window.
“I’m not sure. I feel dizzy, and I can’t breathe,” Shane tried to steady the sickening feeling churning in the pit of his stomach.
“Don’t puke on my seat.” Dean twisted in his seat to look at Shane. “Maybe you need to go home and sleep it off?”
Shane hated to admit it, but he knew if he did not get some fresh air soon he was going to pass out.
“You’re right, but let me get myself pulled together a bit first.” Shane opened the door and hung his head out into the cool night air.
“Come on, I’m beginning to lose my buzz. Let’s go get that beer,” Jeremy got out of the car and then gently closed the door so as not to make any unnecessary noise.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Scott stepped out of the car and stood on the curb next to Shane.
“Yeah, I’ll be okay. I guess I should have eaten before I came tonight,” Shane groaned as he slowly got out of the car. “My house isn’t that far from here, and I think the walk will do me some good.”
Thankful he had gotten a ride from Dean earlier, Shane was glad he would not have to explain why he walked home and not drove his own car. He just hoped his parents were asleep, so he could sneak into the house and get to his bedroom without alerting them.
Chapter 4
The sound of his bedroom door flying open, startled Shane awake. “What the hell?”
“Oh, thank God, you’re home!” Patricia rushed into the room with tears streaming down her cheeks. “I was so afraid something horrible had happened to you. Your father is on the phone with the police about the shooting.”
“Shooting, what shooting? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mom,” Shane felt his heart skip a beat.
“Two boys decided to help Dean rob his grandfather. They were in his garage stealing beer out of a refrigerator when Mr. Bales heard the commotion and surprised them. He didn’t know they were just kids and that one of them was his own grandson when they charged at him. That poor old man shot and killed his
own grandson while trying to defend himself,” Patricia’s voice cracked as tears continued to stream down her cheeks. “He said the other ones got away, so he didn’t know who they were, but the police are gathering fingerprints and hope to find them soon. Please tell me you weren’t one of them. Your poor father had to inform the police that you left our house earlier last night with Dean.”
Shane could not believe what he was hearing. After rubbing his eyes, Shane looked up into the tear-filled eyes of his mother, “Mom, I hate to admit it, but I was with them last night.”
Gasping, a look of horror appeared on her face. However, before she could say anything, he pressed on. “I didn’t go with them into the garage, I promise. I was going to, but I got sick, so I left them and walked home. Mom, I’m sorry that I lied and caused you to worry. I wish I could change what happened.”
Patricia was silent for several moments, not wanting to accept his words. Finally, she wiped the tears from her eyes and swallowed before speaking. “I’m thankful you didn’t go into the garage as well, but I’m not happy that you were planning to in the first place. Your father and I have always trusted you to make the correct choices, but you let yourself and us down this time. I’m going to talk with your father about this, and we’ll decide on your punishment.”
Reaching out, she gently touched his arm. “You’re lucky it wasn’t you that died last night. I cannot believe you boys would do something so foolish. I’m sure once the others are caught it won’t be too good for them. Now, get out of bed and get yourself cleaned up. I’ll make some breakfast then we will need to go to the police station. I’m sure you’ll need to give them a statement.”
Patricia stood and walked toward the bedroom door then stopped. Inhaling deeply, she placed her hand on the doorknob and spoke without turning to face Shane. “Thank you for being honest with me. Now get out of bed and get yourself cleaned up. I love you.”
Shane watched as she walked through the door, closing it behind her. He knew he had betrayed her trust. He knew he should have tried to talk them out of going. He had allowed his pride to stop him from making the right choice. Realizing what was facing him, Shane wanted to just pull his blanket over his head and disappear forever.
“Well, there’s no getting out of this,” Shane groaned as he walked into the bathroom to shower and get ready to face his punishment.
***
As the warm water flowed over his head, Shane wondered how differently things would have gone had he joined them in the garage. He could not believe that Dean was dead at the hand of his own grandfather and the pain it would cause his family.
Lost in thought, Shane heard a voice fill his mind. You almost let your pride destroy you last night.
“What did you say?” Shane held his eyes tightly closed, wondering if it were his imagination.
You nearly let your pride destroy you last night. You didn’t heed my warning as you traveled to the man’s house, but deep inside, you knew what you were about to do was wrong, the voice filled his mind drowning out the sound of the water flowing over his head.
“Did you cause me to get sick?” However, no sooner had he uttered the words, he knew better.
No, it was your actions that caused your illness. You knew it was wrong, but you could not admit it to your friends because of pride,” a touch of sadness now filled the voice.
“You’re right, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them it was wrong,” shame now consumed his soul.
That has always been your weakness. It will be your eternal burden to carry if you don’t learn to have faith in yourself and trust your instincts. However, you first need to finish your bath, and then we will continue our conversation, the sadness in the voice was now replaced with a playful tone.
The words ‘finish your bath’ reminded Shane he was still standing in the shower.
“Oh, crap,” he groaned, realizing the water was now cold against his skin.
He reached for the knobs to turn off the water when a thought flowed into his mind. I wish whoever this is, would let me see them. At least, I’d know I do not imagine it all.
Grabbing a towel off the rack then wrapping it around himself, Shane walked into his bedroom. However, nothing could have prepared him for what awaited him. There across his room, standing by his desk was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Long, dark auburn hair framed her porcelain-skinned face with sparkling emerald green eyes. She had the cutest patch of freckles spread across the bridge of her nose, and lips as red as a rose. Frozen in place by the vision standing before him, Shane reached up and rubbed his eyes, convinced they were playing a trick on him.
“Hello, Shane. Please come and sit. We have much to talk about, and I’m sure you have many questions.” With a playful smile on her lips, she motioned for him to sit on his bed.
Unsure if he should sit or run, he paused a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. After a few awkward moments, the words seemed to explode out of him, “Are you the one I’ve heard all these years?”
Smiling at the expression on his face, she slowly nodded her head, “Yes, I am the voice in your head.”
A rush of emotions filled Shane. For as long as he could remember her voice had whispered warnings in his mind. His heart beat wildly in his chest as he fought for the words he wanted to say. Finally, unable to choose the perfect ones, he just blurted out, “Why are you here now?”
“Because you asked me to,” she calmly responded.
“I don’t remember asking…” Suddenly he realized what she meant.
Her eyes held his gaze, seeming to penetrate his soul.
“Were you in the shower with me earlier?” his face now took on a slight shade of red.
“Yes, but not in the way you mean. Only our minds were together, so you have no need for embarrassment,” a smile came to her lips.
“Who are you and why are you here?” An uneasy feeling came over him. “You’re not here to take me, are you? I’ve watched movies about angels who come to take people when they die. Am I going to die?”
“You won’t before your time if you make the correct choices. Do you remember when you were younger and you wanted to go with your friends to Miller’s Rock? You knew your parents would have forbidden it, yet you still planned to go. If your friends would have heeded their inner voices, they would still be alive today.”
“So, you’re my guardian angel. Is that what you’re saying? My mother has always spoken of how guardian angels are sent to protect us, but she never said they would appear to people as you are,” he gazed at her with a confused expression on his face. “Can I touch you?”
Realizing how his request must have sounded, Shane turned away, his cheeks growing an even deeper red.
“No, you can only see me. I’m here in spirit only. After all these years, I thought it was the time that I formally introduced myself. My name is Rachel.”
“Rachel? That’s a beautiful name. I don’ know why, but I’ve always liked that name. So, what happens now?” Shane felt transfixed by the vision before him. He could not explain it, but a new sensation seemed to flow throughout his body –pure love. Was he in love with her, but how could that be? Shane could not explain it, but he felt a deep and intense love for this beautiful spirit before him. As he gazed into her eyes, his mind struggled to push the feelings aside, but his battle was in vain because they were undeniable.
“What happens next is entirely up to you. You must choose your own path in this life, but I want you to know that I will always be with you. I must go for now; your parents are waiting for you in the kitchen.”
Shane began to speak, but she held a finger to her lips. “Hush, you have important things to do before we are together. Please search your heart and remember your promise.” Blowing him a kiss, a swirling mist began to wrap around her, pulling her into a soft glowing light.
Not wanting her to go, Shane ran toward the fading vision of the
woman he knew he had loved since the dawn of time. “Wait, please don’t leave yet. I have so many questions.”
Convinced his plea had gone unheard, Shane stood motionless, trying to summon her return with his mind. As he stood in the spot where mere moments before the vision of his dreams had been, he felt a complete sense of loneliness fill his heart. It was one of such intensity, he was convinced it would stop his beating heart.
“Shane, breakfast is on the table,” his father tapped on the bedroom door while trying to restrain his anger.
“I’m coming.” Shane pulled on a pair of blue jeans and grabbed a shirt from his dresser drawer. He was not looking forward to facing his parents, but he knew he had to make things right with them and hopefully begin to regain their trust.
Chapter 5
“I don’t understand why you won’t ask her to the prom,” Chad forced his algebra book into his over-stuffed locker. “I know she’d say yes because Sandy told me she really likes you.”
Shane was in no mood for this conversation again. He was aware that Cathy Davis liked him and would gladly be his date to the senior prom, but he just could not seem to bring himself to ask her. It was not how she looked or anything like that because she was a beautiful girl. He just had no desire to date anyone. Whenever one of the girls at school would show any interest in him, he always found himself comparing her to the mysterious auburn-haired woman who had appeared to him the previous year. Shane had pleaded with her to come back and talk with him, but she would only visit him in his dreams.
“I know you’re right, but…”
“But nothing, you need to stop living in that fantasy world of yours,” Chad closed the locker and then turned to face him. “Hey, we all have our dream girls, but you need to realize she’s not real and turn your attention to a real girl.”
Shane chided himself for telling Chad about Rachel. He had sworn not to tell anyone about her, but for some reason, he decided to share his secret with Chad. He knew he could trust him not to tell anyone or tease him about it, but his heart wished he had kept it to himself. “I know, you’re right, but I just can’t seem to let her go.”
“Shane, you’re my best friend, and I hate to see you wasting yourself on some fantasy woman. So, pull yourself together walk over to Cathy, and ask her to the prom,” Chad chuckled as he slapped the stunned-faced Shane on the shoulder.