particulars, I would have made an excuse to youto have put off our voyage to Ireland for some time, and to have gonefirst towards London.
'Then, my dear,' said he, 'I resolved to have confessed all thecircumstances of my own affairs to you, and let you know I had indeedmade use of these artifices to obtain your consent to marry me, but hadnow nothing to do but ask to your pardon, and to tell you howabundantly, as I have said above, I would endeavour to make you forgetwhat was past, by the felicity of the days to come.'
'Truly,' said I to him, 'I find you would soon have conquered me; andit is my affliction now, that I am not in a condition to let you seehow easily I should have been reconciled to you, and have passed by allthe tricks you had put upon me, in recompense of so much good-humour.But, my dear,' said I, 'what can we do now? We are both undone, andwhat better are we for our being reconciled together, seeing we havenothing to live on?'
We proposed a great many things, but nothing could offer where therewas nothing to begin with. He begged me at last to talk no more of it,for, he said, I would break his heart; so we talked of other things alittle, till at last he took a husband's leave of me, and so we went tosleep.
He rose before me in the morning; and indeed, having lain awake almostall night, I was very sleepy, and lay till near eleven o'clock. Inthis time he took his horses and three servants, and all his linen andbaggage, and away he went, leaving a short but moving letter for me onthe table, as follows:--
'MY DEAR--I am a dog; I have abused you; but I have been drawn into doit by a base creature, contrary to my principle and the generalpractice of my life. Forgive me, my dear! I ask your pardon with thegreatest sincerity; I am the most miserable of men, in having deludedyou. I have been so happy to possess you, and now am so wretched as tobe forced to fly from you. Forgive me, my dear; once more I say,forgive me! I am not able to see you ruined by me, and myself unableto support you. Our marriage is nothing; I shall never be able to seeyou again; I here discharge you from it; if you can marry to youradvantage, do not decline it on my account; I here swear to you on myfaith, and on the word of a man of honour, I will never disturb yourrepose if I should know of it, which, however, is not likely. On theother hand, if you should not marry, and if good fortune should befallme, it shall be all yours, wherever you are.
'I have put some of the stock of money I have left into your pocket;take places for yourself and your maid in the stage-coach, and go forLondon; I hope it will bear your charges thither, without breaking intoyour own. Again I sincerely ask your pardon, and will do so as oftenas I shall ever think of you. Adieu, my dear, for ever!--I am, yourmost affectionately, J.E.'
Nothing that ever befell me in my life sank so deep into my heart asthis farewell. I reproached him a thousand times in my thoughts forleaving me, for I would have gone with him through the world, if I hadbegged my bread. I felt in my pocket, and there found ten guineas, hisgold watch, and two little rings, one a small diamond ring worth onlyabout #6, and the other a plain gold ring.
I sat me down and looked upon these things two hours together, andscarce spoke a word, till my maid interrupted me by telling me mydinner was ready. I ate but little, and after dinner I fell into avehement fit of crying, every now and then calling him by his name,which was James. 'O Jemmy!' said I, 'come back, come back. I'll giveyou all I have; I'll beg, I'll starve with you.' And thus I ran ravingabout the room several times, and then sat down between whiles, andthen walking about again, called upon him to come back, and then criedagain; and thus I passed the afternoon, till about seven o'clock, whenit was near dusk, in the evening, being August, when, to my unspeakablesurprise, he comes back into the inn, but without a servant, and comesdirectly up into my chamber.
I was in the greatest confusion imaginable, and so was he too. I couldnot imagine what should be the occasion of it, and began to be at oddswith myself whether to be glad or sorry; but my affection biassed allthe rest, and it was impossible to conceal my joy, which was too greatfor smiles, for it burst out into tears. He was no sooner entered theroom but he ran to me and took me in his arms, holding me fast, andalmost stopping my breath with his kisses, but spoke not a word. Atlength I began. 'My dear,' said I, 'how could you go away from me?' towhich he gave no answer, for it was impossible for him to speak.
When our ecstasies were a little over, he told me he was gone aboutfifteen miles, but it was not in his power to go any farther withoutcoming back to see me again, and to take his leave of me once more.
I told him how I had passed my time, and how loud I had called him tocome back again. He told me he heard me very plain upon DelamereForest, at a place about twelve miles off. I smiled. 'Nay,' says he,'do not think I am in jest, for if ever I heard your voice in my life,I heard you call me aloud, and sometimes I thought I saw you runningafter me.' 'Why,' said I, 'what did I say?'--for I had not named thewords to him. 'You called aloud,' says he, 'and said, O Jemmy! OJemmy! come back, come back.'
I laughed at him. 'My dear,' says he, 'do not laugh, for, depend uponit, I heard your voice as plain as you hear mine now; if you please,I'll go before a magistrate and make oath of it.' I then began to beamazed and surprised, and indeed frightened, and told him what I hadreally done, and how I had called after him, as above.
When we had amused ourselves a while about this, I said to him: 'Well,you shall go away from me no more; I'll go all over the world with yourather.' He told me it would be a very difficult thing for him to leaveme, but since it must be, he hoped I would make it as easy to me as Icould; but as for him, it would be his destruction that he foresaw.
However, he told me that he considered he had left me to travel toLondon alone, which was too long a journey; and that as he might aswell go that way as any way else, he was resolved to see me safethither, or near it; and if he did go away then without taking hisleave, I should not take it ill of him; and this he made me promise.
He told me how he had dismissed his three servants, sold their horses,and sent the fellows away to seek their fortunes, and all in a littletime, at a town on the road, I know not where. 'And,' says he, 'itcost me some tears all alone by myself, to think how much happier theywere than their master, for they could go to the next gentleman's houseto see for a service, whereas,' said he, 'I knew not wither to go, orwhat to do with myself.'
I told him I was so completely miserable in parting with him, that Icould not be worse; and that now he was come again, I would not go fromhim, if he would take me with him, let him go whither he would, or dowhat he would. And in the meantime I agreed that we would go togetherto London; but I could not be brought to consent he should go away atlast and not take his leave of me, as he proposed to do; but told him,jesting, that if he did, I would call him back again as loud as I didbefore. Then I pulled out his watch and gave it him back, and his tworings, and his ten guineas; but he would not take them, which made mevery much suspect that he resolved to go off upon the road and leave me.
The truth is, the circumstances he was in, the passionate expressionsof his letter, the kind, gentlemanly treatment I had from him in allthe affair, with the concern he showed for me in it, his manner ofparting with that large share which he gave me of his little stockleft--all these had joined to make such impressions on me, that Ireally loved him most tenderly, and could not bear the thoughts ofparting with him.
Two days after this we quitted Chester, I in the stage-coach, and he onhorseback. I dismissed my maid at Chester. He was very much againstmy being without a maid, but she being a servant hired in the country,and I resolving to keep no servant at London, I told him it would havebeen barbarous to have taken the poor wench and have turned her away assoon as I came to town; and it would also have been a needless chargeon the road, so I satisfied him, and he was easy enough on the score.
He came with me as far as Dunstable, within thirty miles of London, andthen he told me fate and his own misfortunes obliged him to leave me,and that it was not convenient for him to go to London, for reasonswhich it was of
no value to me to know, and I saw him preparing to go.The stage-coach we were in did not usually stop at Dunstable, but Idesiring it but for a quart of an hour, they were content to stand atan inndoor a while, and we went into the house.
Being in the inn, I told him I had but one favour more to ask of him,and that was, that since he could not go any farther, he would give meleave to stay a week or two in the town with him, that we might in thattime think of something to prevent such a ruinous thing to us both, asa final separation would be; and that I had something of moment tooffer him, that I had never said yet, and which perhaps he might findpracticable to our mutual advantage.
This was too reasonable a proposal to be denied, so he called thelandlady of the house, and told her his wife was taken ill, and