and had so good a bank to support me, whyshould I now not leave off, as they say, while I was well? that I couldnot expect to go always free; and if I was once surprised, andmiscarried, I was undone.
This was doubtless the happy minute, when, if I had hearkened to theblessed hint, from whatsoever had it came, I had still a cast for aneasy life. But my fate was otherwise determined; the busy devil thatso industriously drew me in had too fast hold of me to let me go back;but as poverty brought me into the mire, so avarice kept me in, tillthere was no going back. As to the arguments which my reason dictatedfor persuading me to lay down, avarice stepped in and said, 'Go on, goon; you have had very good luck; go on till you have gotten four orfive hundred pounds, and then you shall leave off, and then you maylive easy without working at all.'
Thus I, that was once in the devil's clutches, was held fast there aswith a charm, and had no power to go without the circle, till I wasengulfed in labyrinths of trouble too great to get out at all.
However, these thoughts left some impression upon me, and made me actwith some more caution than before, and more than my directors used forthemselves. My comrade, as I called her, but rather she should havebeen called my teacher, with another of her scholars, was the first inthe misfortune; for, happening to be upon the hunt for purchase, theymade an attempt upon a linen-draper in Cheapside, but were snapped by ahawk's-eyed journeyman, and seized with two pieces of cambric, whichwere taken also upon them.
This was enough to lodge them both in Newgate, where they had themisfortune to have some of their former sins brought to remembrance.Two other indictments being brought against them, and the facts beingproved upon them, they were both condemned to die. They both pleadedtheir bellies, and were both voted quick with child; though my tutoresswas no more with child than I was.
I went frequently to see them, and condole with them, expecting that itwould be my turn next; but the place gave me so much horror, reflectingthat it was the place of my unhappy birth, and of my mother'smisfortunes, and that I could not bear it, so I was forced to leave offgoing to see them.
And oh! could I have but taken warning by their disasters, I had beenhappy still, for I was yet free, and had nothing brought against me;but it could not be, my measure was not yet filled up.
My comrade, having the brand of an old offender, was executed; theyoung offender was spared, having obtained a reprieve, but lay starvinga long while in prison, till at last she got her name into what theycall a circuit pardon, and so came off.
This terrible example of my comrade frighted me heartily, and for agood while I made no excursions; but one night, in the neighbourhood ofmy governess's house, they cried 'Fire.' My governess looked out, forwe were all up, and cried immediately that such a gentlewoman's housewas all of a light fire atop, and so indeed it was. Here she gives mea job. 'Now, child,' says she, 'there is a rare opportunity, for thefire being so near that you may go to it before the street is blockedup with the crowd.' She presently gave me my cue. 'Go, child,' saysshe, 'to the house, and run in and tell the lady, or anybody you see,that you come to help them, and that you came from such a gentlewoman(that is, one of her acquaintance farther up the street).' She gave methe like cue to the next house, naming another name that was also anacquaintance of the gentlewoman of the house.
Away I went, and, coming to the house, I found them all in confusion,you may be sure. I ran in, and finding one of the maids, 'Lord!sweetheart,' says I, 'how came this dismal accident? Where is yourmistress? Any how does she do? Is she safe? And where are thechildren? I come from Madam ---- to help you.' Away runs the maid.'Madam, madam,' says she, screaming as loud as she could yell, 'here isa gentlewoman come from Madam ---- to help us.' The poor woman, halfout of her wits, with a bundle under her arm, an two little children,comes toward me. 'Lord! madam,' says I, 'let me carry the poorchildren to Madam ----,' she desires you to send them; she'll take careof the poor lambs;' and immediately I takes one of them out of herhand, and she lifts the other up into my arms. 'Ay, do, for God'ssake,' says she, 'carry them to her. Oh! thank her for her kindness.''Have you anything else to secure, madam?' says I; 'she will take careof it.' 'Oh dear! ay,' says she, 'God bless her, and thank her. Takethis bundle of plate and carry it to her too. Oh, she is a good woman.Oh Lord! we are utterly ruined, utterly undone!' And away she runsfrom me out of her wits, and the maids after her; and away comes I withthe two children and the bundle.
I was no sooner got into the street but I saw another woman come to me.'Oh!' says she, 'mistress,' in a piteous tone, 'you will let fall thechild. Come, this is a sad time; let me help you'; and immediatelylays hold of my bundle to carry it for me. 'No,' says I; 'if you willhelp me, take the child by the hand, and lead it for me but to theupper end of the street; I'll go with you and satisfy you for yourpains.'
She could not avoid going, after what I said; but the creature, inshort, was one of the same business with me, and wanted nothing but thebundle; however, she went with me to the door, for she could not helpit. When we were come there I whispered her, 'Go, child,' said I, 'Iunderstand your trade; you may meet with purchase enough.'
She understood me and walked off. I thundered at the door with thechildren, and as the people were raised before by the noise of thefire, I was soon let in, and I said, 'Is madam awake? Pray tell herMrs. ---- desires the favour of her to take the two children in; poorlady, she will be undone, their house is all of a flame,' They tookthe children in very civilly, pitied the family in distress, and awaycame I with my bundle. One of the maids asked me if I was not toleave the bundle too. I said, 'No, sweetheart, 'tis to go to anotherplace; it does not belong to them.'
I was a great way out of the hurry now, and so I went on, clear ofanybody's inquiry, and brought the bundle of plate, which was veryconsiderable, straight home, and gave it to my old governess. She toldme she would not look into it, but bade me go out again to look formore.
She gave me the like cue to the gentlewoman of the next house to thatwhich was on fire, and I did my endeavour to go, but by this time thealarm of fire was so great, and so many engines playing, and the streetso thronged with people, that I could not get near the house whatever Iwould do; so I came back again to my governess's, and taking the bundleup into my chamber, I began to examine it. It is with horror that Itell what a treasure I found there; 'tis enough to say, that besidesmost of the family plate, which was considerable, I found a gold chain,an old-fashioned thing, the locket of which was broken, so that Isuppose it had not been used some years, but the gold was not the worsefor that; also a little box of burying-rings, the lady's wedding-ring,and some broken bits of old lockets of gold, a gold watch, and a pursewith about #24 value in old pieces of gold coin, and several otherthings of value.
This was the greatest and the worst prize that ever I was concerned in;for indeed, though, as I have said above, I was hardened now beyond thepower of all reflection in other cases, yet it really touched me to thevery soul when I looked into this treasure, to think of the poordisconsolate gentlewoman who had lost so much by the fire besides; andwho would think, to be sure, that she had saved her plate and bestthings; how she would be surprised and afflicted when she should findthat she had been deceived, and should find that the person that tookher children and her goods, had not come, as was pretended, from thegentlewoman in the next street, but that the children had been put uponher without her own knowledge.
I say, I confess the inhumanity of this action moved me very much, andmade me relent exceedingly, and tears stood in my eyes upon thatsubject; but with all my sense of its being cruel and inhuman, I couldnever find in my heart to make any restitution. The reflection woreoff, and I began quickly to forget the circumstances that attended thetaking them.
Nor was this all; for though by this job I was become considerablyricher than before, yet the resolution I had formerly taken, of leavingoff this horrid trade when I had gotten a little more, did not return,but I must still get farther, and more; and the avarice joined so
withthe success, that I had no more thought of coming to a timelyalteration of life, though without it I could expect no safety, notranquillity in the possession of what I had so wickedly gained; but alittle more, and a little more, was the case still.
At length, yielding to the importunities of my crime, I cast off allremorse and repentance, and all the reflections on that head turned tono more than this, that I might perhaps come to have one booty morethat might complete my desires; but though I certainly had that onebooty, yet every hit looked towards another, and was so encouraging tome to go on with the trade, that I had no gust to the thought of layingit down.
In this condition, hardened by success, and resolving to go