that as what she had to say was a secret that belongedto him only, so whether he accepted her offer or not, it should remaina secret to all the world, unless he exposed it himself; nor should hisrefusing her service in it make her so little show her respect as to dohim the least injury, so that he should be entirely at liberty to actas he thought fit.
He looked very shy at first, and said he knew nothing that related tohim that required much secrecy; that he had never done any man anywrong, and cared not what anybody might say of him; that it was no partof his character to be unjust to anybody, nor could he imagine in whatany man could render him any service; but that if it was sodisinterested a service as she said, he could not take it ill from anyone that they should endeavour to serve him; and so, as it were, lefther a liberty either to tell him or not to tell, as she thought fit.
She found him so perfectly indifferent, that she was almost afraid toenter into the point with him; but, however, after some othercircumlocutions she told him that by a strange and unaccountableaccident she came to have a particular knowledge of the late unhappyadventure he had fallen into, and that in such a manner, that there wasnobody in the world but herself and him that were acquainted with it,no, not the very person that was with him.
He looked a little angrily at first. 'What adventure?' said he.'Why,' said she, 'of your being robbed coming from Knightbr----;Hampstead, sir, I should say,' says she. 'Be not surprised, sir,' saysshe, 'that I am able to tell you every step you took that day from thecloister in Smithfield to the Spring Garden at Knightsbridge, andthence to the ---- in the Strand, and how you were left asleep in thecoach afterwards. I say, let not this surprise you, for, sir, I do notcome to make a booty of you, I ask nothing of you, and I assure you thewoman that was with you knows nothing who you are, and never shall; andyet perhaps I may serve you further still, for I did not come barely tolet you know that I was informed of these things, as if I wanted abribe to conceal them; assure yourself, sir,' said she, 'that whateveryou think fit to do or say to me, it shall be all a secret as it is, asmuch as if I were in my grave.'
He was astonished at her discourse, and said gravely to her, 'Madam,you are a stranger to me, but it is very unfortunate that you should belet into the secret of the worst action of my life, and a thing that Iam so justly ashamed of, that the only satisfaction of it to me was,that I thought it was known only to God and my own conscience.' 'Pray,sir,' says she, 'do not reckon the discovery of it to me to be any partof your misfortune. It was a thing, I believe, you were surprisedinto, and perhaps the woman used some art to prompt you to it; however,you will never find any just cause,' said she, 'to repent that I cameto hear of it; nor can your own mouth be more silent in it that I havebeen, and ever shall be.'
'Well,' says he, 'but let me do some justice to the woman too; whoevershe is, I do assure you she prompted me to nothing, she rather declinedme. It was my own folly and madness that brought me into it all, ay,and brought her into it too; I must give her her due so far. As towhat she took from me, I could expect no less from her in the conditionI was in, and to this hour I know not whether she robbed me or thecoachman; if she did it, I forgive her, and I think all gentlemen thatdo so should be used in the same manner; but I am more concerned forsome other things that I am for all that she took from me.'
My governess now began to come into the whole matter, and he openedhimself freely to her. First she said to him, in answer to what he hadsaid about me, 'I am glad, sir, you are so just to the person that youwere with; I assure you she is a gentlewoman, and no woman of the town;and however you prevailed with her so far as you did, I am sure 'tisnot her practice. You ran a great venture indeed, sir; but if that beany part of your care, I am persuaded you may be perfectly easy, for Idare assure you no man has touched her, before you, since her husband,and he has been dead now almost eight years.'
It appeared that this was his grievance, and that he was in a verygreat fright about it; however, when my governess said this to him, heappeared very well pleased, and said, 'Well, madam, to be plain withyou, if I was satisfied of that, I should not so much value what Ilost; for, as to that, the temptation was great, and perhaps she waspoor and wanted it.' 'If she had not been poor, sir ----,' says mygoverness, 'I assure you she would never have yielded to you; and asher poverty first prevailed with her to let you do as you did, so thesame poverty prevailed with her to pay herself at last, when she sawyou were in such a condition, that if she had not done it, perhaps thenext coachman might have done it.'
'Well,' says he, 'much good may it do her. I say again, all thegentlemen that do so ought to be used in the same manner, and then theywould be cautious of themselves. I have no more concern about it, buton the score which you hinted at before, madam.' Here he entered intosome freedoms with her on the subject of what passed between us, whichare not so proper for a woman to write, and the great terror that wasupon his mind with relation to his wife, for fear he should havereceived any injury from me, and should communicate if farther; andasked her at last if she could not procure him an opportunity to speakwith me. My governess gave him further assurances of my being a womanclear from any such thing, and that he was as entirely safe in thatrespect as he was with his own lady; but as for seeing me, she said itmight be of dangerous consequence; but, however, that she would talkwith me, and let him know my answer, using at the same time somearguments to persuade him not to desire it, and that it could be of noservice to him, seeing she hoped he had no desire to renew acorrespondence with me, and that on my account it was a kind of puttingmy life in his hands.
He told her he had a great desire to see me, that he would give her anyassurances that were in his power, not to take any advantages of me,and that in the first place he would give me a general release from alldemands of any kind. She insisted how it might tend to a furtherdivulging the secret, and might in the end be injurious to him,entreating him not to press for it; so at length he desisted.
They had some discourse upon the subject of the things he had lost, andhe seemed to be very desirous of his gold watch, and told her if shecould procure that for him, he would willingly give as much for it asit was worth. She told him she would endeavour to procure it for him,and leave the valuing it to himself.
Accordingly the next day she carried the watch, and he gave her thirtyguineas for it, which was more than I should have been able to make ofit, though it seems it cost much more. He spoke something of hisperiwig, which it seems cost him threescore guineas, and his snuff-box,and in a few days more she carried them too; which obliged him verymuch, and he gave her thirty more. The next day I sent him his finesword and cane gratis, and demanded nothing of him, but I had no mindto see him, unless it had been so that he might be satisfied I knew whohe was, which he was not willing to.
Then he entered into a long talk with her of the manner how she came toknow all this matter. She formed a long tale of that part; how she hadit from one that I had told the whole story to, and that was to help medispose of the goods; and this confidante brought the things to her,she being by profession a pawnbroker; and she hearing of his worship'sdisaster, guessed at the thing in general; that having gotten thethings into her hands, she had resolved to come and try as she haddone. She then gave him repeated assurances that it should never goout of her mouth, and though she knew the woman very well, yet she hadnot let her know, meaning me, anything of it; that is to say, who theperson was, which, by the way, was false; but, however, it was not tohis damage, for I never opened my mouth of it to anybody.
I had a great many thoughts in my head about my seeing him again, andwas often sorry that I had refused it. I was persuaded that if I hadseen him, and let him know that I knew him, I should have made someadvantage of him, and perhaps have had some maintenance from him; andthough it was a life wicked enough, yet it was not so full of danger asthis I was engaged in. However, those thoughts wore off, and Ideclined seeing him again, for that time; but my governess saw himoften, and he was very kind to her, giving her something almost
everytime he saw her. One time in particular she found him very merry, andas she thought he had some wine in his head, and he pressed her againvery earnestly to let him see that woman that, as he said, hadbewitched him so that night, my governess, who was from the beginningfor my seeing him, told him he was so desirous of it that she couldalmost yield of it, if she could prevail upon me; adding that if hewould please to come to her house in the evening, she would endeavourit, upon his repeated assurances of forgetting what was past.
Accordingly she came to me, and told me all the discourse; in short,she soon biassed me to consent, in a case which I had some regret in mymind for declining before; so I prepared to see him. I dressed me toall the advantage possible, I assure you, and for the first time used alittle art; I say for the first time, for I had never