in which case, whoever had blamed him, nobodycould have blamed me. In short, if he had known me, and how easy thetrifle he aimed at was to be had, he would have troubled his head nofarther, but have given me four or five guineas, and have lain with methe next time he had come at me. And if I had known his thoughts, andhow hard he thought I would be to be gained, I might have made my ownterms with him; and if I had not capitulated for an immediate marriage,I might for a maintenance till marriage, and might have had what Iwould; for he was already rich to excess, besides what he had inexpectation; but I seemed wholly to have abandoned all such thoughts asthese, and was taken up only with the pride of my beauty, and of beingbeloved by such a gentleman. As for the gold, I spent whole hours inlooking upon it; I told the guineas over and over a thousand times aday. Never a poor vain creature was so wrapt up with every part of thestory as I was, not considering what was before me, and how near myruin was at the door; indeed, I think I rather wished for that ruinthan studied to avoid it.
In the meantime, however, I was cunning enough not to give the leastroom to any in the family to suspect me, or to imagine that I had theleast correspondence with this young gentleman. I scarce ever lookedtowards him in public, or answered if he spoke to me when anybody wasnear us; but for all that, we had every now and then a littleencounter, where we had room for a word or two, and now and then a kiss,but no fair opportunity for the mischief intended; and especiallyconsidering that he made more circumlocution than, if he had known mythoughts, he had occasion for; and the work appearing difficult to him,he really made it so.
But as the devil is an unwearied tempter, so he never fails to findopportunity for that wickedness he invites to. It was one evening thatI was in the garden, with his two younger sisters and himself, and allvery innocently merry, when he found means to convey a note into myhand, by which he directed me to understand that he would to-morrowdesire me publicly to go of an errand for him into the town, and that Ishould see him somewhere by the way.
Accordingly, after dinner, he very gravely says to me, his sistersbeing all by, 'Mrs. Betty, I must ask a favour of you.' 'What's that?'says his second sister. 'Nay, sister,' says he very gravely, 'if youcan't spare Mrs. Betty to-day, any other time will do.' Yes, theysaid, they could spare her well enough, and the sister begged pardonfor asking, which they did but of mere course, without any meaning.'Well, but, brother,' says the eldest sister, 'you must tell Mrs. Bettywhat it is; if it be any private business that we must not hear, youmay call her out. There she is.' 'Why, sister,' says the gentlemanvery gravely, 'what do you mean? I only desire her to go into the HighStreet' (and then he pulls out a turnover), 'to such a shop'; and thenhe tells them a long story of two fine neckcloths he had bid money for,and he wanted to have me go and make an errand to buy a neck to theturnover that he showed, to see if they would take my money for theneckcloths; to bid a shilling more, and haggle with them; and then hemade more errands, and so continued to have such petty business to do,that I should be sure to stay a good while.
When he had given me my errands, he told them a long story of a visithe was going to make to a family they all knew, and where was to besuch-and-such gentlemen, and how merry they were to be, and veryformally asks his sisters to go with him, and they as formally excusedthemselves, because of company that they had notice was to come andvisit them that afternoon; which, by the way, he had contrived onpurpose.
He had scarce done speaking to them, and giving me my errand, but hisman came up to tell him that Sir W---- H----'s coach stopped at thedoor; so he runs down, and comes up again immediately. 'Alas!' says healoud, 'there's all my mirth spoiled at once; sir W---- has sent hiscoach for me, and desires to speak with me upon some earnest business.'It seems this Sir W---- was a gentleman who lived about three miles outof town, to whom he had spoken on purpose the day before, to lend himhis chariot for a particular occasion, and had appointed it to call forhim, as it did, about three o'clock.
Immediately he calls for his best wig, hat, and sword, and ordering hisman to go to the other place to make his excuse-- that was to say, hemade an excuse to send his man away--he prepares to go into the coach.As he was going, he stopped a while, and speaks mighty earnestly to meabout his business, and finds an opportunity to say very softly to me,'Come away, my dear, as soon as ever you can.' I said nothing, butmade a curtsy, as if I had done so to what he said in public. In abouta quarter of an hour I went out too; I had no dress other than before,except that I had a hood, a mask, a fan, and a pair of gloves in mypocket; so that there was not the least suspicion in the house. Hewaited for me in the coach in a back-lane, which he knew I must passby, and had directed the coachman whither to go, which was to a certainplace, called Mile End, where lived a confidant of his, where we wentin, and where was all the convenience in the world to be as wicked aswe pleased.
When we were together he began to talk very gravely to me, and to tellme he did not bring me there to betray me; that his passion for mewould not suffer him to abuse me; that he resolved to marry me as soonas he came to his estate; that in the meantime, if I would grant hisrequest, he would maintain me very honourably; and made me a thousandprotestations of his sincerity and of his affection to me; and that hewould never abandon me, and as I may say, made a thousand morepreambles than he need to have done.
However, as he pressed me to speak, I told him I had no reason toquestion the sincerity of his love to me after so many protestations,but--and there I stopped, as if I left him to guess the rest. 'Butwhat, my dear?' says he. 'I guess what you mean: what if you shouldbe with child? Is not that it? Why, then,' says he, 'I'll take careof you and provide for you, and the child too; and that you may see Iam not in jest,' says he, 'here's an earnest for you,' and with that hepulls out a silk purse, with an hundred guineas in it, and gave it me.'And I'll give you such another,' says he, 'every year till I marryyou.'
My colour came and went, at the sight of the purse and with the fire ofhis proposal together, so that I could not say a word, and he easilyperceived it; so putting the purse into my bosom, I made no moreresistance to him, but let him do just what he pleased, and as often ashe pleased; and thus I finished my own destruction at once, for fromthis day, being forsaken of my virtue and my modesty, I had nothing ofvalue left to recommend me, either to God's blessing or man'sassistance.
But things did not end here. I went back to the town, did the businesshe publicly directed me to, and was at home before anybody thought melong. As for my gentleman, he stayed out, as he told me he would, tilllate at night, and there was not the least suspicion in the familyeither on his account or on mine.
We had, after this, frequent opportunities to repeat our crime--chiefly by his contrivance--especially at home, when his mother andthe young ladies went abroad a-visiting, which he watched so narrowlyas never to miss; knowing always beforehand when they went out, andthen failed not to catch me all alone, and securely enough; so that wetook our fill of our wicked pleasure for near half a year; and yet,which was the most to my satisfaction, I was not with child.
But before this half-year was expired, his younger brother, of whom Ihave made some mention in the beginning of the story, falls to workwith me; and he, finding me alone in the garden one evening, begins astory of the same kind to me, made good honest professions of being inlove with me, and in short, proposes fairly and honourably to marry me,and that before he made any other offer to me at all.
I was now confounded, and driven to such an extremity as the like wasnever known; at least not to me. I resisted the proposal withobstinacy; and now I began to arm myself with arguments. I laid beforehim the inequality of the match; the treatment I should meet with inthe family; the ingratitude it would be to his good father and mother,who had taken me into their house upon such generous principles, andwhen I was in such a low condition; and, in short, I said everything todissuade him from his design that I could imagine, except telling himthe truth, which would indeed have put an end to it all, but that Idurst not think of mentioning
.
But here happened a circumstance that I did not expect indeed, whichput me to my shifts; for this young gentleman, as he was plain andhonest, so he pretended to nothing with me but what was so too; and,knowing his own innocence, he was not so careful to make his having akindness for Mrs. Betty a secret in the house, as his brother was. Andthough he did not let them know that he had talked to me about it, yethe said enough to let his sisters perceive he loved me, and his mothersaw it too, which, though they took no notice of it to me, yet they didto him, an immediately I found their carriage to me altered, more thanever before.
I saw the cloud, though I did not foresee the storm. It was easy, Isay, to see that their carriage to me was altered, and that it grewworse and worse every day; till at last I got