hisdisturbance was because I could not be persuaded to conceal ourrelation and to live with him as my husband, after I knew that he wasmy brother; that as he knew better than I what his father's presentcondition was, I should readily join with him in such measure as hewould direct; that I was indifferent as to seeing his father, since Ihad seen him first, and he could not have told me better news than totell me that what his grandmother had left me was entrusted in hishands, who, I doubted not, now he knew who I was, would, as he said, dome justice. I inquired then how long my mother had been dead, andwhere she died, and told so many particulars of the family, that I lefthim no room to doubt the truth of my being really and truly his mother.
My son then inquired where I was, and how I had disposed myself. Itold him I was on the Maryland side of the bay, at the plantation of aparticular friend who came from England in the same ship with me; thatas for that side of the bay where he was, I had no habitation. He toldme I should go home with him, and live with him, if I pleased, as longas I lived; that as to his father, he knew nobody, and would never somuch as guess at me. I considered of that a little, and told him, thatthough it was really no concern to me to live at a distance from him,yet I could not say it would be the most comfortable thing in the worldto me to live in the house with him, and to have that unhappy objectalways before me, which had been such a blow to my peace before; thatthough I should be glad to have his company (my son), or to be as nearhim as possible while I stayed, yet I could not think of being in thehouse where I should be also under constant restraint for fear ofbetraying myself in my discourse, nor should I be able to refrain someexpressions in my conversing with him as my son, that might discoverthe whole affair, which would by no means be convenient.
He acknowledged that I was right in all this. 'But then, dear mother,'says he, 'you shall be as near me as you can.' So he took me with himon horseback to a plantation next to his own, and where I was as wellentertained as I could have been in his own. Having left me there hewent away home, telling me we would talk of the main business the nextday; and having first called me his aunt, and given a charge to thepeople, who it seems were his tenants, to treat me with all possiblerespect. About two hours after he was gone, he sent me a maid-servantand a Negro boy to wait on me, and provisions ready dressed for mysupper; and thus I was as if I had been in a new world, and begansecretly now to wish that I had not brought my Lancashire husband fromEngland at all.
However, that wish was not hearty neither, for I loved my Lancashirehusband entirely, as indeed I had ever done from the beginning; and hemerited from me as much as it was possible for a man to do; but that bythe way.
The next morning my son came to visit me again almost as soon as I wasup. After a little discourse, he first of all pulled out a deerskinbag, and gave it me, with five-and-fifty Spanish pistoles in it, andtold me that was to supply my expenses from England, for though it wasnot his business to inquire, yet he ought to think I did not bring agreat deal of money out with me, it not being usual to bring much moneyinto that country. Then he pulled out his grandmother's will, and readit over to me, whereby it appeared that she had left a smallplantation, as he called it, on York River, that is, where my motherlived, to me, with the stock of servants and cattle upon it, and givenit in trust to this son of mine for my use, whenever he should hear ofmy being alive, and to my heirs, if I had any children, and in defaultof heirs, to whomsoever I should by will dispose of it; but gave theincome of it, till I should be heard of, or found, to my said son; andif I should not be living, then it was to him, and his heirs.
This plantation, though remote from him, he said he did not let out,but managed it by a head-clerk (steward), as he did another that washis father's, that lay hard by it, and went over himself three or fourtimes a year to look after it. I asked him what he thought theplantation might be worth. He said, if I would let it out, he wouldgive me about #60 a year for it; but if I would live on it, then itwould be worth much more, and, he believed, would bring me in about#150 a year. But seeing I was likely either to settle on the otherside of the bay, or might perhaps have a mind to go back to Englandagain, if I would let him be my steward he would manage it for me, ashe had done for himself, and that he believed he should be able to sendme as much tobacco to England from it as would yield me about #100 ayear, sometimes more.
This was all strange news to me, and things I had not been used to; andreally my heart began to look up more seriously than I think it everdid before, and to look with great thankfulness to the hand ofProvidence, which had done such wonders for me, who had been myself thegreatest wonder of wickedness perhaps that had been suffered to live inthe world. And I must again observe, that not on this occasion only,but even on all other occasions of thankfulness, my past wicked andabominable life never looked so monstrous to me, and I never socompletely abhorred it, and reproached myself with it, as when I had asense upon me of Providence doing good to me, while I had been makingthose vile returns on my part.
But I leave the reader to improve these thoughts, as no doubt they willsee cause, and I go on to the fact. My son's tender carriage and kindoffers fetched tears from me, almost all the while he talked with me.Indeed, I could scarce discourse with him but in the intervals of mypassion; however, at length I began, and expressing myself with wonderat my being so happy to have the trust of what I had left, put into thehands of my own child, I told him, that as to the inheritance of it, Ihad no child but him in the world, and was now past having any if Ishould marry, and therefore would desire him to get a writing drawn,which I was ready to execute, by which I would, after me, give itwholly to him and to his heirs. And in the meantime, smiling, I askedhim what made him continue a bachelor so long. His answer was kind andready, that Virginia did not yield any great plenty of wives, and thatsince I talked of going back to England, I should send him a wife fromLondon.
This was the substance of our first day's conversation, the pleasantestday that ever passed over my head in my life, and which gave me thetruest satisfaction. He came every day after this, and spent a greatpart of his time with me, and carried me about to several of hisfriends' houses, where I was entertained with great respect. Also Idined several times at his own house, when he took care always to seehis half-dead father so out of the way that I never saw him, or he me.I made him one present, and it was all I had of value, and that was oneof the gold watches, of which I mentioned above, that I had two in mychest, and this I happened to have with me, and I gave it him at histhird visit. I told him I had nothing of any value to bestow but that,and I desired he would now and then kiss it for my sake. I did notindeed tell him that I had stole it from a gentlewoman's side, at ameeting-house in London. That's by the way.
He stood a little while hesitating, as if doubtful whether to take itor no; but I pressed it on him, and made him accept it, and it was notmuch less worth than his leather pouch full of Spanish gold; no, thoughit were to be reckoned as if at London, whereas it was worth twice asmuch there, where I gave it him. At length he took it, kissed it, toldme the watch should be a debt upon him that he would be paying as longas I lived.
A few days after he brought the writings of gift, and the scrivenerwith them, and I signed them very freely, and delivered them to himwith a hundred kisses; for sure nothing ever passed between a motherand a tender, dutiful child with more affection. The next day hebrings me an obligation under his hand and seal, whereby he engagedhimself to manage and improve the plantation for my account, and withhis utmost skill, and to remit the produce to my order wherever Ishould be; and withal, to be obliged himself to make up the produce#100 a year to me. When he had done so, he told me that as I came todemand it before the crop was off, I had a right to produce of thecurrent year, and so he paid me #100 in Spanish pieces of eight, anddesired me to give him a receipt for it as in full for that year,ending at Christmas following; this being about the latter end ofAugust.
I stayed here about five weeks, and indeed had much ado to get awaythen. Nay, he would have
come over the bay with me, but I would by nomeans allow him to it. However, he would send me over in a sloop ofhis own, which was built like a yacht, and served him as well forpleasure as business. This I accepted of, and so, after the utmostexpressions both of duty and affection, he let me come away, and Iarrived safe in two days at my friend's the Quaker's.
I brought over with me for the use of our plantation, three horses,with harness and saddles, some hogs, two cows, and a thousand otherthings, the gift of the kindest and tenderest child that ever womanhad. I related to my husband all the particulars of this voyage,except that I called my son my cousin; and first I told him that I hadlost my watch, which he seemed to take as a misfortune; but then I toldhim how kind my cousin had been, that my mother had left me such aplantation, and that he had preserved it for me, in hopes some time orother he should hear from me; then I told him that I had left it to