“Ding, ding, ding,” he cries, like he’s ringing a bell in the air.
“Huh?” I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“Did I ever tell you why we split up?”
He never did, but I have a pretty good idea. I shake my head anyway.
“She didn’t want you guys.”
“What?” Now that was the last thing I expected.
“She was pregnant with Hayley, and I was almost twenty-one. Mom and Dad were gone, and she didn’t want you guys. I wanted to marry her. But she didn’t want my family.”
“She made you choose?”
He gets up and slams his bowl into the sink a little too hard. “There wasn’t a fucking choice. You guys were my life, and I was all you had. No choice.”
Paul stepped into fatherhood the way some people step into college, into a job after school. He gave it everything he had. We’re only a year apart, but I never could have done what he did. He gave up everything, even his own happily ever after, for us. God. Now I feel awful. We ruined his life.
“I couldn’t have raised them without you,” he says. “Where I was weak, you were strong. And where I was strong, you were weak.” He’s right. We did complement each other.
“You gave up full time with Hayley for us.” Now I’m pissed.
“I am Hayley’s father, and I always will be. I have her half the time, and it works out well for the two of us.”
It does. It really does.
“What about now that they’re all out of the house?”
“What about it?”
“Now that everyone is taken care of, why don’t you take care of yourself? Go get yourself a real life. You and Kelly keep falling together. Why not make it permanent?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t love her.”
“But—”
“I like her. We’re friends. But that’s it.” He shrugs. “And she’s seeing someone. It’s getting pretty serious.”
“When was the last time you guys…?”
He grins. “Yesterday.”
I roll my eyes. “Then it can’t be very serious with this other guy.”
“Just the fact that there’s another guy means it’s not serious with me.” He heaves a sigh. “And I don’t love her. That’s one thing I’m sure of. Because the thought of the woman I love sleeping with another man should tear me up inside, but it doesn’t. There’s something wrong with that.”
“Okay.” I don’t know what else to say to him.
“So, about April,” he says.
“I don’t want to talk about April.”
He glares at me. “Too bad.”
This is Paul. This is what he does. “What do you suggest?”
“She’s getting married, man. It’s time to get over her.”
I throw up my hands. “I’m trying.”
“You should go to the wedding. Get it all out of your system. Take a hot chick with you.”
“Where am I going to get one of those?”
He looks at me like I’ve gone apeshit. “Dude, you can find tail anywhere.”
Maybe I’ve been looking in the wrong places.
Skylar
I spend all day on Monday working out my employment issues. I had a meeting with my immediate supervisor, who rushed to assure me that my job was not in jeopardy, that my situation was discussed during the meeting, but only to the extent that they all wanted to know if there was anything they could do to support me through this transition. What an asshat Phillip is. And what’s worse is that I almost believed him.
I couldn’t be happier that this situation forced me to cut my ties with him, particularly when I walk around the corner and find him by the water cooler standing much too close to another one of the first years. She looks a little frazzled when she sees me, and she very quickly walks in the other direction.
Phillip starts toward me but I wave him away. “Don’t even think about it,” I warn. I keep walking.
He follows me all the way to my car without saying a word. He doesn’t speak until after he watches me fumble with a box of papers and my trunk. He doesn’t offer to help me. Not once. Would Matt stand there and watch me while I struggled with a box? Something tells me he wouldn’t. I really shouldn’t compare anyone to Matt, though, since I truly don’t know him.
“You’re going through with it, aren’t you?” Phillip asks, folding his arms across his chest.
“Going through with what?” I ask, blowing my hair from my face.
“Those kids,” he spits out. “You’re keeping them.”
I laugh. “They’re keeping me, actually,” I say.
“I never took you for stupid.”
I snort. His face turns red. “The only stupid thing I ever did was pick you. Asshole,” I say under my breath as I get in my car. I pull out while he stands there watching me. It’s all I can do not to put the window down and stick my middle finger out it to flip him off. But I’m a mom now. Moms don’t make public spectacles of themselves, do they? Probably not. I settle for doing it in my head. It’ll do for now, too, because he looks pissed.
I turn the radio up loud as I drive across town. I should feel bad about our breakup, but I’m not heavyhearted. Not at all. Not like I should be. I actually feel free. And I have to admit that I feel a little bit hopeful. I have a feeling Matthew Reed has something to do with that.
Heck, I just broke up with someone I thought I was in love with. I shouldn’t be having feelings for Matt. It’s too soon. Plus, I have too much going on in my life to add a new boyfriend to it. What man in his right mind would want me and my three kids? I snort to myself as I walk into the day care to get the girls. One of the other moms scrunches her nose up at me and ushers her kid by me quickly, taking a wide berth. I guess moms aren’t supposed to snort out loud, either.
Seth told Joey and Mellie that I would be picking them up from school today, but I’m not completely sure they know what’s going on when I walk in the door. Joey hides behind her teacher’s skirt, and Mellie sticks her thumb in her mouth. I drop down to their level and say, “Hi, girls,” with a soft voice. A soft voice won’t scare them, will it? Crap. I am terrible at this mom stuff.
“Mrs. Morgan?” the teacher asks. I called her last week and talked with her on the phone about our situation. She was very nice and really understanding.
I stick out my hand. “Miss,” I say to correct her. I’m definitely not married, and it doesn’t look like I ever will be now.
She shakes my hand and steps to the side to get Joey out from behind her. Both the girls are still in day care, and they combine the classes at the end of the day on the playground. The girls apparently stick to one another like glue. Is that normal? Heck, normal is just a setting on the dryer, right? I wouldn’t know normal if it bit me on the butt.
“Miss Morgan, if I can make a suggestion…” The teacher grimaces.
I look up at her. Joey and Mellie still aren’t coming toward me. I live in the same house with them. Joey pulls on her teacher’s skirt and says quietly, “Is my mommy coming to get me?”
Pain slices through me. I don’t know how to explain death to the little ones. Seth doesn’t either, apparently.
The teacher squats down and says, “Now we talked about this, didn’t we, Josephine?”
Heck, I didn’t even know that Joey’s real name is Josephine. What kind of a mother am I?
Joey just blinks up at her.
“Mommy’s gone, and she’s not coming back,” the teacher says.
Joey’s eyes fill with tears, and I step around the teacher to pick her up. She comes to me, heavy and limp like a wet dishrag when I lift her. She lays her head on my shoulder and snuggles in. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t discuss their mother with them,” I bite out. I’m sure the teacher has good intentions. But, God, she was a little cold, in my opinion.
“They need to understand that she’s gone,” the teacher says.
I hold up a finger. “Shh,” I breathe in a crisp warning.
The teacher purses her lips.
“Mommy wouldn’t leave,” Mellie says. She comes forward and takes my hand, her fingers wet from where they were just stuck in her mouth, but I don’t care. She’s touching me of her own free will. It’s me and the girls against the world.
“That’s right,” I say to her. “Mommy would never leave you on purpose.”
“Don’t give them hope that she’s coming back,” the teacher warns.
“Shh,” I slice out again.
She stops talking.
“Mommy can’t come back,” I explain. “Mommy didn’t want to go, but she didn’t have a choice.”
“Mommy will be back,” Mellie says quietly.
“Mommy loved you both so much,” I tell them.
“Both the girls need new clothes,” the teacher interjects.
I turn back to face her. “What?”
“Seth had been taking care of them for quite some time, so I didn’t say anything, but their clothes are getting too small. Mellie’s shoes are too tight, and Joey’s pants are about four inches too short. Children grow, Miss Morgan. A lot.”
I bite my tongue because I can’t think of anything nice to say, and I have been a lawyer long enough to know that no response is probably better than saying what’s on my mind. Because what’s on my mind is that I want her to take a long walk off a short pier.
When did I become such a barbarian?
“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll take care of them,” I say instead. “I appreciate it.” They do have to come back here tomorrow after all.
I look down at the girls. “Who wants to go shopping?” I ask.
Mellie looks up and smiles. “Me,” she says. And I hear a softly whispered, “Me,” from right beside my ear.
Matt
It’s around seven in the evening when my phone rings. I’m outlining a tattoo on a client at Reed’s so I can’t answer it. Friday walks over and motions toward my pocket. “Do you want me to get that?” she asks.
I lift my gun and stand up so she can get in my pocket. “Please,” I say.
“Better be careful or Paul’s going to get jealous,” she teases as she fishes around my pocket.
Paul makes a noise. He’s been trying to get her in his pockets for as long as I can remember. “I think he’s already green with envy,” I say loudly.
“If green is the new red,” she tosses back. She pulls my phone out and puts it to her ear. We didn’t carry phones for a long time because we simply couldn’t afford it. But last Christmas, Emily’s dad bought us all new phones, since he has more money than God and nothing better to do with it. He said we were too hard to keep up with without them. But I think it was more Emily’s doing than his.
“Matt’s phone,” she chirps. “Hey, Seth,” she says, her face scrunching up. “Yeah, he’s here, hang on.” She presses the “speaker” button on the phone.
“What’s up, Seth?” I ask.
“Matt?” Seth asks, and he sound a little breathless.
“What’s wrong, Seth?” I ask. I set my gun down and start to pull off my gloves.
“Have you talked to Aunt Sky today?” he asks.
“No,” I reply, the hair on the back of my neck immediately standing up. “Why?”
“Today was the first day she was supposed to pick up the girls, and I just got home and no one is here. It’s getting late, is all.”
“I haven’t talked to her,” I say. “Do you want me to come over?” I’m already making my way to the front door and Pete is taking over with my client.
“Call us if you need us,” Paul says to my back. Like he has to remind me. With a glance over my shoulder, I wave at him, and he nods.
“Did you call her phone?” I ask.
“Yeah, but it’s going directly to voice mail. And the texts I sent say delivered but not read.”
“Her battery is probably dead, Seth,” I say. I’m not worried at all. Well, maybe a little.
“She should have called to tell me where she is,” he murmurs, and I can imagine him scruffing his hair in frustration.
“She probably thought you wouldn’t be home yet,” I say. “I’m on the way to keep you company. You feel like a pizza?” Teenage boys always feel like pizza.
###
I stop to order a couple of pies at Rico’s really quickly and take them with me. When I get to the apartment, I see Sky unloading the girls from the car in front of the apartment. She’s found a spot and is ushering them along. She has bags and bags of stuff in her hands.
“Need some help?” I ask.
She looks up and blows her hair from her face with an upturned breath. “Matt,” she says, but a pleasant smile tips the corners of her lips, and it’s enough to take my breath away. She has a boyfriend, asshole. Don’t get any ideas. “What are you doing here?”
I grin because it’s how I’m feeling inside. “Seth called me freaking out when you weren’t home,” I admit.
Her face falls. “Oh,” she says. She frowns. “Why would he do that?”
I shrug. “He was worried.”
She slams the door of the car even though there are still more bags in there.
I look through her window. “Let me help with those.”
She shakes her head. “I’ll come and get them later,” she says. “After I calm Seth down, apparently.” She looks ruefully at me. She holds up the bags. “We went shopping.”
“I can tell,” I say. I motion toward Mellie and crouch down. She climbs onto my back and holds on tightly. I stand up and swing her around the way I would my niece, and she squeals and laughs. I still have pizzas in one hand, so I set them on top of the car.
“Do me,” Joey cries, clinging to my leg.
I scoop Joey up too and spin them both in circles.
Sky laughs. “I think they like you,” she says quietly. There’s a look of longing on her face.
I jostle them both. “Yeah, they like me.” They both squeal as I spin them around again. “I mean, really,” I tease. “What’s not to like?” I arch my brow at her, joking with her like I would a woman I might be interested in. But there hasn’t been one of those in a long time.
Her face colors, and she’s so damn pretty. But she doesn’t say anything. Her eyes travel, though, from the top of my head to the tips of my feet, staying in some places longer than others. Is that interest I see in her eyes? She licks her lips and looks away.
“Careful,” I warn quietly.
She shakes her head, like she wants me to shut up. So I do. For now.
I follow her into the building with the girls still clinging to me since I’m holding on to them and the pizzas, and they’re still squealing when I walk through the door of the apartment with them.
“Look what I found,” I say loudly as we step into the kitchen. Seth spins around, his face hard, and he starts to open his mouth. I can just imagine what’s about to come out, so I cut him off. “Your Aunt Sky was nice enough to take the girls shopping this afternoon,” I say. I meet his eyes and give him a subtle warning to keep his trap shut.
He glares at me and leans around me to say to Sky, “You could have called so I wouldn’t worry.”
“I didn’t think you’d be home yet.” She glances at her watch. “I didn’t mean to worry you, Seth,” she says. She’s sincere. And knows she worried him needlessly. “I’m sorry about that,” she says quietly.
I give Seth a look, and he heaves a sigh. He walks to her and wraps her up in a weird hug like ones I’ve seen him give his mom a hundred times. He picks her up off the ground a little. “I was worried about you, too,” he explains.
She smiles, and it’s beautiful. “Thanks,” she says. “My phone is dead, too. I’ll be sure to keep a charger in my car from now on. I’m not used to having to check in.” She starts to put bags down. “I took the girls shopping for some new clothes,” she says. She looks up at Seth. “I hope that’s okay.”
He looks a little chagrined. “That teacher of theirs has been harping about their clo
thes for a week.”
“Girls,” she calls. “Come and show Seth what you got while I go unload the rest.”
Seth looks up at me and then down at the many bags that are scattered all over the place. “There’s more?” he asks.
I grin and swipe a hand down my face. I saw all the shit that was in the back of her car. “Lots more,” I say. Sky walks toward the door so I jerk a thumb in her direction. “I’m going to help your aunt,” I say.
He grins at me. “Helping? Is that what they’re calling it now?”
Sky is already out the door, and I really want to go with her. “She has a boyfriend,” I say.
He shakes his head. “Not anymore. He dumped her yesterday. It wasn’t pretty.”
So she doesn’t have a boyfriend? My heart leaps. Hot damn. “Did she cry a lot?”
He shakes his head. “But there was a weird discussion about orgasms, his junk, and him being selfish in bed.” He shudders. “Way more than I wanted to hear.”
“Way more than you should be repeating, too,” I warn.
He grips my shoulder. “You need all the help you can get, man,” he says, giving me a squeeze. He grins.
I flip him the bird in a way that Joey and Mellie can’t see and follow Sky into the hallway. She’s still waiting at the elevator, so I jog up to her and stop, a little breathless. I’m not sure if my lack of air is because I’m so fucking relieved she’s unattached or the quick jog, but my bet is it’s the former. And I’m okay with that.
Skylar
Goodness gracious, he’s handsome. Matt’s wearing a gray T-shirt and jeans, and his hair is pulled back with a rubber band. He’s so tall that I have to tip my head to look up at him. He grins down at me. He’s breathing a little hard, and I have to admit I am, too.
“How was your day?” he asks. The elevator dings beside us, and we step inside. He hitches his hip against the rail and crosses his arms in front of his chest.
I ran out of the apartment because I was a little overwhelmed with emotion. It’s pitiful that a kid can make me lose my tight grip on reality just by being nice to me. But when Seth grabbed me and told me he was worried about me being late, I realized that I’m part of a family, and like the Grinch who stole Christmas, my heart swelled to twice its size. Then it cracked and my eyes filled up with tears and I had to get out of there before I lost my shit.