Father was bent upon spoiling her whole life if she let him. He was too old to remember what it was like to be young and so full of life you felt you would burst. He didn’t believe in the gods anymore; he didn’t believe in anything except his ancient standards and archaic morality.
The world was moving away from the old ideas, and he was determined to stand still. Worse, he was determined to make her stand still with him. He had tried with Marcus and failed, and now he was crushing her beneath his expectations. She had to be strong like her brother and not allow Father to dictate her life. She was not going to be like Mother, content to live behind high stone walls and wait upon her husband like he was a god. She had her own life to live, and she was going to do with it as she pleased. She was going to attend pregame feasts and drink and laugh with the gladiators; she was going to attend the Ludi Megalenses next week and celebrate Cybele with her friends. She was going to find some way to meet Atretes.
“How many lovers have you had, Octavia?” Julia said as they walked along, pausing here and there to look at baubles from foreign lands.
Octavia laughed. “I’ve lost count.”
“I wish I could be like you, free to do what I want with whomever I choose.”
“Why can’t you?”
“Father—”
“You’re such a goose, Julia. You have to take control of your life. They’ve made their choices and done what they wanted. Why shouldn’t you do the same thing?”
“The law says—”
“The law,” Octavia broke in derisively. “You married Claudius because your father wished it, and now Claudius is dead. Everything that he had belongs to you. Marcus controls it, doesn’t he? Well, your brother adores you. Use that.”
“I’m not sure I could do that,” Julia said, troubled by the way Octavia expressed it.
“You do it all the time,” Octavia laughed. “Only you do it over unimportant things like sneaking off to the games once or twice, rather than taking control of the money that rightfully belongs to you. Is it fair that your father and brother have use of that money when you were the one who had to sleep with that dreary old man?”
Julia blushed and glanced away, well aware she had been a poor wife. “He wasn’t that dreary. Claudius was quite brilliant.”
Octavia laughed. “So brilliant he bored you to death. You told me so yourself in a letter, or don’t you want to remember what you wrote about him?”
Suddenly Julia found it hard to breathe. She trembled slightly, wondering how many other horrible things she had said about Claudius that were remembered so vividly. Octavia knew he had been riding after her. Why did she bring him up at all when she was aware it upset her so much? “I don’t want to talk about him, Octavia. You know that.”
“He’s dead. What’s to talk about? The gods smiled on you.”
Julia shivered. To distract herself from her grim thoughts, she stopped at a stall that displayed crystal pendants. The proprietor was a swarthy and handsome Egyptian. He spoke fluent Greek, but it was heavily accented, giving him an aura of mystery. Julia examined one of the pendants with interest. It was cold in her hand and encircled by a serpent that served to hold the long crystal and allow a loop for a heavy chain.
“My name is Chakras and I bring these crystals from the farthest reaches of the Empire.” The Egyptian watched Julia pick up a pendant. “It is lovely, isn’t it?” he said. “Rose quartz eases sexual imbalances and helps soothe away anger, resentment, guilt, fear, and jealousy.”
“Let me see it,” Octavia said and took it from Julia to look at it more closely.
“It is also known to increase fertility,” Chakras said.
Octavia laughed and handed it back to Julia quickly. “Here, you hold it.”
“Something less dangerous, perhaps?” Julia said, laughing at Octavia. She pointed to another necklace. “What about that one?”
“A good choice,” the man said, picking it up reverently. “Moonstone has healing powers for the stomach and it relieves anxiety and depression. It also aids in the birthing process and helps female problems.” Noting Octavia’s grimace, he added, “A good gift for a woman about to be married.”
“I like it,” Julia said, setting it aside. “What about that one over there?”
He picked up a beautiful lavender crystal and set it on the cloth-covered pedestal. “It is alexandrite, my lady, a variety of chrysoberyl known to heal internal and external degeneration.”
“It keeps you from getting old?” Octavia said.
“Indeed, my lady,” he said, watching her finger it. He turned away, cautious to keep an eye on Octavia as he picked up several other pendants. “Alexandrite also helps to align the emotions and reflects the highest potentials of unfolding joy.” He set a pale turquoise-colored crystal before them. “This aquamarine is a rare variety of beryl and is known to strengthen the viscera and purify the body,” he said. “It enhances the clarity of one’s mind and aids in creative expression. It will bring you into balance with the gods.”
“My father would like this one,” Julia said and set the aquamarine aside. “Mama thinks he’s sick.”
“Oh, my lady, then you must see this carnelian crystal. It is a highly evolved healer, opening the heart and encouraging communion with the spirits of the underworld, thus finding the many ways to escape death.”
“What a pretty red,” Julia said and took it. She rolled it over and over in her hand. “I like it, too,” she said and set it aside with the aquamarine, moonstone, alexandrite, and rose quartz crystal pendants. Octavia grew pale, her mouth pressed tight, her eyes glittering with burning envy.
Chakras smiled faintly. “Try this one on, my lady,” he said, holding out a clear crystal spear about three inches long.
“It’s much too big,” Julia said.
“This crystal enhances and stimulates the body and mind. It allows you to commune with the god of your choice. From the instant you put it on, you will feel the power in the crystal. It awakens the senses and increases your charms.”
“Very well,” Julia said, intrigued more by his mesmerizing singsong voice than by the crystal. He placed it around her neck with reverence.
“Do you feel the power of it?”
Julia glanced up at him, and he looked straight into her eyes with a dark, burning intensity. She felt uneasy and then very calm. “I do feel the power,” she said in awe. She fingered the pendant distractedly, unable to look away from Chakras. “It’s lovely, isn’t it, Octavia?”
“It’s a piece of rock on a chain.”
Chakras did not look away from Julia. “The crystal is the residing place of ancient Egyptian gods. Your friend invites their wrath.”
Octavia glared at him. “Are you ready to leave, Julia?” she said testily. She watched the Egyptian reach out and gently take the crystal in his hand, his knuckles brushing against Julia.
“Only those who deserve the power have it,” Chakras said, smiling in a way that made Julia’s face grow warm.
Octavia gave a dry laugh. “Julia, you can afford pearls. Don’t waste a sesterce on glass.”
Julia drew back slightly from Chakras’ touch, the weight of the crystal dropping between her breasts again. “But they’re beautiful!”
Chakras studied the expensive amethyst necklace she wore. “The clear crystal pendant is worth one aureus,” Chakras said, knowing she could well afford that and more.
“So much?” Julia said in dismay. One denarius was worth a day’s pay, and twenty-five denarii equaled one aureus.
“Ridiculous,” Octavia said, glad that it was more than Julia would be willing to pay. The pendants were lovely, and if she could not have one, she didn’t want Julia having one either. “Let’s go.”
“Power doesn’t come cheaply, my lady,” Chakras said in his melodic, heavily accented voice that bespoke the mysteries of ancient Egypt itself. “These are rare gems created by the gods.”
Julia looked at the pendants she had selected. “I’m not
allowed to carry money with me in a public market.”
“You can fill in my ledger and I will take care of it as you say, my lady.”
“I’m a widow,” she said shyly, “and my brother manages my estate.”
“It is a small matter,” Chakras said, producing a ledger.
“She didn’t say she wanted to buy those things yet,” Octavia said angrily.
“But I do,” Julia said and watched Chakras write in each pendant. She gave him Marcus’ full name and address. He asked if she resided with her brother and she said no. “I live with my father, Decimus Vindacius Valerian.”
“A very great man,” Chakras said and asked no more questions. “Sign here, please.” He dipped the quill in ink and handed it to her. As she signed, he wrapped the four necklaces in white wool and put them into a leather pouch. He held it out to her with a solemn bow. “May the clear crystal you are wearing bring you all you desire and more, my lady.”
Julia was full of excitement at her purchases and insisted upon stopping at several other stalls. She bought perfume in a fancy vial, a small sealed amphora of scented oil, and a painted box of powder.
“I swear by Zeus, Julia, I will not carry another package for you,” Octavia said angrily. “You should have brought your little Jewess with you.” She shoved the things into Julia’s arms and walked off, weaving through the crowd and wishing she had not baited Julia into defying her father and going on this outing.
Laughing, Julia hurried after her. “You were the one that wanted to go shopping!”
“To look. Not to buy everything in sight.”
“You haven’t bought a thing!”
Octavia gritted her teeth at Julia’s remark, annoyed that her friend could afford to buy so many things without the least thought, while she had no money whatsoever. She ignored Julia’s pleas for her to slow down. She had no intention of admitting the truth to Julia. All she could think about were the necklaces in Julia’s little leather pouch. With all Julia’s money, one would think she would buy a gift for her friend. But no, she thought only of herself!
“Octavia!”
Stifling her resentment, Octavia paused and waited. She lifted her head grandly. “Everything is so cheap and tawdry down here. I haven’t seen a thing I want.”
Julia knew very well that Octavia had admired the crystal necklaces, but she was not going to be coerced into giving her one after having to push her way along the crowded street to reach her. She looked at her as coolly as she could. “A pity. I was thinking of giving you one of the pendants,” she said, knowing Octavia had wanted, but could not afford, one for herself. Marcus said Drusus was one step ahead of financial ruin. Suicide would be the only way to save what little honor he had left.
Octavia glanced at her. “You were?”
Julia kept walking. “Well, not anymore. I wouldn’t want to give my best friend something tawdry and cheap.” She glanced back, satisfied by the expression on Octavia’s face. She was tired of her patronizing ways. “Maybe we’ll find something to your liking later.”
They were both tired when they reached the Field of Mars. Julia didn’t want to sit beneath a shady tree. She wanted to sit out in the open, as close to the drilling soldiers as possible. Octavia wished she hadn’t suggested coming to watch the legionnaires. They all seemed to notice Julia in her lavender palus and paid little attention to her in blue. Annoyed, Octavia pretended to be bored. She didn’t like being overshadowed by Julia. She used to be the one people looked at when they were together. Perhaps she should lose weight or change her hairstyle or wear more cosmetics. Then Julia would fade into the background again. She glanced at Julia and knew that wouldn’t happen. The differences between them were widening.
Life wasn’t fair. Julia had been kissed by the gods. She had been born into a family with wealth and all the power and prestige a fortune could buy. Then she was married off to a rich old man who conveniently broke his neck before their first year of marital bliss was over, leaving poor little Julia with a fortune—though she was too much of a fool to know how to take control of it. Octavia would know.
Looking at Julia having such a good time, Octavia was torn by envy. Bitterness ate at her. Her father was always making excuses to his creditors. He was spending more and more time with his patrons and searching for others who would add to his depleted coffers. She knew his journey to Pompeii was an excuse to get away for a while. He had shouted at her yesterday, accusing her of spending too much money. He said he hated “begging” from patrons. What did he suppose she felt every time she had to beg her own father for money? If they were so poor, perhaps, he should give up betting at the games. He never had been able to pick a winning charioteer.
Why did she have to be the daughter of a fool? Didn’t she deserve all the things that Julia had? The one thing she had been able to boast of was her personal maid, the daughter of an African tribal king. She remembered the first time she brought her to Julia’s home and saw Julia so ashamed of her ugly little Jewess. It grated now that even that one small triumph had gone awry. Her African princess was arrogant and intimidating and needed constant beating to make her obey, while Julia’s humble little Jewess served as though it was her sole delight.
Octavia’s gaze fell upon the exquisite amethyst necklace circling Julia’s slender neck. The matching earrings caught the sunlight. Envy twisted Octavia’s stomach again and turned the beautiful day into an ordeal. She almost hated Julia, whose leather pouch of jewelry purchased for so dear a price only a few hours ago lay forgotten on the grass.
A young centurion rode by on a sorrel stallion and grinned roguishly, not at her, but at Julia, who blushed like a virgin, which made her look even prettier. Octavia’s irritation grew.
“Did you see the way he looked at me?” Julia breathed, dark eyes glowing with excitement. “Wasn’t he handsome!”
“And probably as dumb as an ox,” Octavia said. Piqued at being ignored by a man, she rose. “I’m hot, hungry, and bored, Julia. I’m going to Calabah’s.”
Julia came quickly to her feet, dismayed that she wouldn’t be able to watch the soldiers any longer, but eager for whatever Octavia had in mind. “I’ll go with you.”
“I’m not sure you’d like her. She’s much too sophisticated for you.”
“But you said earlier—”
“Oh, I know what I said,” Octavia interrupted with a wave of her hand. “But you’ll be quite out of your element, Julia.” It was true, though it was not the entire reason she was dismissing Julia. Of course, it might be fun to let Julia come along. Calabah would probably make fun of Julia’s provinciality. Octavia looked forward to that. Perhaps Caius Polonius Urbanus would be visiting as well. The intensity of his dark eyes and touch of his cool hands made her insides shiver. She had heard the rumors about him, but they only made him more intriguing and dangerous. She was certain he was growing interested in her.
Julia picked up her leather pouch of necklaces and the packages of perfume, oil, and powder. Octavia seemed determined to exclude her from everything exciting. “If you take me to meet Calabah, I’ll give you one of the necklaces I bought.”
Octavia turned on her angrily, her cheeks on fire. “What sort of a friend do you think I am?”
“You wanted one, didn’t you?” Julia said, just as angry, but covering her feelings with a practiced smile of tearful vulnerability. “Well, I’m offering you whichever one you want.” Juggling her purchases, she held out the leather pouch. “I was going to give you one earlier, but you were being so cruel, going on and on about Claudius,” she said.
Octavia hesitated, and then took the pouch. “You were really going to give me one?”
“Of course.” Chakras had many more necklaces. Whichever one Octavia chose, she could send Hadassah back to get another to replace it.
“Well, then,” Octavia said, opening the pouch and taking the necklaces out. “I want the alexandrite.” It had been the most expensive. She took it out, unwrapped it, and put it on, d
iscarding the white cloth.
She would take Julia to Calabah’s. It would be fun to watch Calabah subtly mock her. She frowned for a moment, considering again how beautiful Julia was and the way the centurions had reacted to her earlier. Caius loved beautiful women, and Octavia certainly didn’t want any interference with what she was sure was the beginning of something between herself and Caius. Then she shrugged . . . surely Caius wouldn’t be interested in a cosseted child like Julia.
She turned to smile indulgently at Julia. “Calabah’s isn’t far from here. She lives just up the hill from the baths.”
Chapter 16
Marcus entered the house and found it thankfully quiet and cool. Enoch took his red cape. “Are my father and mother resting?”
“No, my lord. They went to walk in the park.”
“And the Lady Julia?”
“She left with the Lady Octavia.”
Marcus frowned. “With my father’s permission?”
“I don’t know, my lord.”
Marcus looked at him through narrowed eyes. “You don’t know,” he said dryly. “Come, come, Enoch. You know everything that goes on in this household. Did she ask my father’s permission and, if so, where did she go with Octavia?”
“I don’t know, my lord.”
Marcus grew impatient. “Did her slave go with her?”
“No, my lord. Hadassah is sitting on a bench in the peristyle.”
“I’ll speak with her.”
Marcus smiled slightly when he saw Hadassah sitting quietly on a marble bench near the wall. Was she listening to the fountain and the birds singing? She looked troubled, and her hands were clasped tightly in her lap as she sat on the marble bench. He watched her for a few seconds longer and realized she was praying again. Because of her devotions, he was hesitant to approach her.