"He wasn't a big believer in Tarot. Humor aside, he was a very practical man. From New England," she added, as if that explained everything. "I'd been wearing Karen down about the Arcana--until she met him. Before I knew it, your mother was pregnant. Even then, I sensed you were the Empress."
"He didn't want us to live up north?"
"David planned to move there." Her gaze went distant. "To move you--the great Empress--away from her Haven." That must have gone over well. "In the end, I convinced them not to go."
My dad had disappeared in the Basin just two years after I was born. If he'd insisted on moving north, would he still be alive? Or would he have been--at least until the Flash? I might have grown up with a father. "He died so young." Twenty-nine.
She nodded. "That man only adored one thing as much as Karen: you."
Mom had told me he'd doted on me--
My head snapped up. I sensed something outside: energy, a faint thrumming. Circe was here--just down the mountain. Had she come to visit her ally Death? Were they together right now? If so, I would drop in on their members-only meeting. "I'll be back." I rose and headed toward the door.
"Where are you going?"
I paused in the doorway. "To visit the river."
Gran blinked at me. "Why are you so sure you're coming back?"
29
With a lantern in hand, I made my way toward the water. My breaths were puffs of smoke in the chilly, dark night. The storm had waned, rain drizzling on and off.
I pulled my poncho hood over my hair--
Aric emerged from the mist, his tall frame outlined by a flickering gas lamp. He wore all black, his tailored garments highlighting his powerful body. His pale hair was tousled and longer than he usually kept it.
I stutter-stepped at the mere sight of him.
He was heading from the river back to the castle. As he neared, I noticed he looked weary, his gaze filled with shadows.
With pain.
Which called to mind my dreams of him. Over this week, my nightmares had come less frequently, making way for dream-memories of the last game, when I'd been known as Phyta. Aric had pursued me then, had eventually revealed that I'd married--then betrayed--him in a past life. Realizing how badly he'd ached for a companion, I'd begun to seduce him, all the while planning to kill him. . . .
Each morning here I would wake, shamed by my behavior--and rocked by his loneliness. Rocked by his fragile hope of a future with me.
Never slowing his pace, he intoned, "Empress."
"Hey. What were you doing down there?"
"Visiting my ally." As I'd suspected.
I frowned when he passed right by me. To his back, I asked, "You've been talking to Circe?"
Without turning, he said, "As I often do."
When I hurried ahead to block his path, he exhaled an impatient breath. "What do you want?"
This close, I caught a thread of his addictive scent. Hints of sandalwood and pine, two trees, made my lids grow heavy. In the lamplight, his face was hypnotically gorgeous.
But my attraction to him was more than physical. Endless epochs seemed to tie me to him. A bone-deep connection that endured.
If past Empresses hadn't been raised from birth to hate him, they would have fallen for him. I would have fallen for him. "How long will we go on like this, Aric?"
Finally, interest lit his amber eyes. "What is the alternative? Tell me what has changed."
I didn't know! I glanced down as I tried to string words together and noticed his gloved hands were clenched. Words left my lips: "You want to touch me." He'd once told me it was a luxury he'd always savor. I gazed up. Unable to help myself, I reached for his proud face.
But he caught my wrist in his strong hand, his eyes growing cold as the night. "And since when has it mattered what I want?" Releasing me, he strode away.
I stared after him long after he'd disappeared in the mist. Miserable and confused, I trudged down to the river.
Was the water level even higher than the last time I was here? A blanket of fog covered the calm surface. At the bank, I raised my lantern. "Circe?" I called. "Where are you?"
Water in the shape of a hand waved, then collapsed in a splash. She couldn't even hold that small form?
My earlier anger toward her faded. She might not have been avoiding me; she could've been too weak for a long chat. Especially if she'd been talking to Aric a lot.
"You can hear me?" I asked.
A slight ripple. Then a murmured: "I hear. Hail Tar Ro."
"Hail Tar Ro to you." I tried out one of my new powers--sensing seeds latent in the dirt--but found none, so I slashed my thumb with a claw and grew some grass along the bank. I set the lantern down and pulled my poncho under me to sit. "Thank you for saving my life."
"You assume I did, Evie Greene?"
"Okay. Then thank you for not killing me outright. Maybe you did it for Death? You two seem tight."
"Hmm."
"He was just here, huh?" No answer. Anyway . . . "Your tidal wave was mind-blowing."
"An afterthought. Soon I will show the game a reckoning." Softening her tone, she said, "I regret that I couldn't save all those mortals. Your mortal. The Fortune Card avoided flying over rivers on her approach. By the time she and Richter crossed over water, I was too late."
The tourniquet twisted, and I barely showed a reaction at all.
"I wonder how they knew of my powers," Circe said. "Their lines don't chronicle."
"Would the Sun know?"
"Possibly. He learns much from his Bagmen. I heard about your run-in with them. Becoming food must have been . . . unpleasant."
Unpleasant? Would I ever get over those slurping sounds, those grueling bites? That was one memory I wish I could forget. I told myself I shouldn't fear them now that I'd seen their worst. I'd survived an attack--without any long-term effects.
Possibly.
Circe asked, "Still think we can stop the game?"
I shrugged. Every now and then, I would feel a silly glimmer of hope, but mostly I didn't. The game demanded blood. I would give it the Emperor's.
And then? And then? And then?
"I told you we needed to kill Richter."
I was taking my lumps with her and with Aric. "I'm listening now. Do you have a plan?"
"Enemies almighty must replenish." She'd called us that before. "Unless you intend to take your grandmother's advice to send the Endless Knight after him." At my raised brows, Circe added, "I told you, whispers flow down to me like water." Had she heard Gran's hate-filled murmurs as well? "Your grandmother sounds . . . intense."
Yep. "And paranoid." I sprouted a few dandelions among the blades of grass.
"Can you blame her? Your chronicles tell her to be. History does as well--your line is notorious for its aggressive Tarasovas and chroniclers." In a wry tone, she said, "Turning budding young Empresses into serial killers since time immemorial."
Arcana humor? In my present state, I almost had the urge to laugh. "I'd thought she might help me stop the game, or save the earth, or get rid of my powers. Stupid, huh?"
"Necessary. She was your grail. We all seek things that attract us to a particular hunting ground."
What was it Matthew had told me? We follow MacGuffins.
"Often the grail is love," she said. "The Magician and Fauna run headlong for each other, or try to. The Moon became the Archangel's grail for a time, and she followed your mortal."
Right to the very end. I wondered if Circe had heard my frantic mutterings.
"Kentarch searches for his beloved wife."
"You know the Centurion?" I asked. "Where is he?"
She sighed, and mist rose from the river's surface. "I don't think the Centurion--my ally over many games--would want the Empress to know."
Fair enough. "Why do you never ally with the Fool?" Empress is my friend.
"Can't you answer that question as well as I, Evie Greene?"
"Because he's more untrustworthy than most."
> "Do you know the word fathomable? It means measurable, in the sense of depth. Fathomable is an ancient word because man has been trying in vain to know the depths of my ocean domain for thousands of years." She paused, then said, "The Fool's powers are unfathomable even to me."
I felt as if I'd just received a warning. "Death said Matthew can fight."
She repeated in a whisper, "Unfathomable."
I swallowed. "Do you know where he is?"
"Not near a body of water at present."
Thanks for narrowing it down. "What's your grail?"
"It's secret. But know that it won't lure me to land. You won't."
At her words, a memory from one game arose:
"Why would you ever surface?" I asked her. "You are invincible in the sea."
"You seduced me here, sister almighty."
"I did?"
"Like you, I'm a sociable creature. It is my weakness. Yet my abyss is unutterably lonely and echoing. From a distance, I watch exciting events unfold, but I am held apart. I see the ways of men and women, but don't experience love. I hear mortals sharing laughter. But I share nothing. I'm drawn to you because we are kindred. Together we experience life."
I couldn't comprehend the Priestess's reasoning. "But the vulnerabilities . . ."
"I am cursed. To truly live, I must make myself vulnerable and trust. Death isn't the only one who risks everything just to feel. . . ."
"I'm not trying to get you on land," I said firmly. "You need to stay put."
"Hmm."
Starting to hate it when she said hmm. "What's the Emperor's grail?"
"We all are. He wants to defeat 'worthy' opponents, with as much carnage as possible. He also enjoys the occasional cataclysm, just because it feels good to him."
"What happens if he wins?"
The river grew choppy, the fog dissipating. "Hell on earth. His reign would mark the end of mankind. All the cards must sense this."
Surely that was the root of my ominous feeling, my sense that something big was coming down the pipeline. So why did my unease feel removed from Richter? "We can't let him win. If you hang tight in the abyss, you can simply outlast him, right?"
"Oh, are we back to playing? I thought the innocent Empress wanted no part of the game. Except when an Arcana irritates her or steps out of line in any way."
How could water convey such snark? "You're still pissed about whatever I might have done to you in the past." Though I'd found evidence of her cold-bloodedness, I still hadn't read how I'd betrayed her. "I get it. But we were both evil. Admit it: you would've double-crossed me if I hadn't done it to you first."
Eddies twirled.
Irritating eddies. "Ugh! That's your way of ignoring me, isn't it?" As if she'd covered her ears and sang, "La la la." I snatched up a stone and threw it at the water. "I remembered the day we killed the Moon. You took her icon."
The eddies subsided. "I might have worn it best, Evie Greene, but you wore it next."
In other words, the icon had transferred to me when I'd killed Circe.
"Empress, you are the only one protesting your innocence in this game. I've made no such promises."
"I'm not innocent. I don't know what I am. But I know I have zero interest in winning." I plucked the flowers I'd grown. "You said Arcana sometimes ask you to take them to the abyss--that it's the only place they can see to go. I didn't understand before, but now I do."
I braided dandelion stems to make a wreath. The prospect of my death didn't bother me--my one-way ticket loomed--but the idea of Aric dying made my glyphs burn.
"What are you thinking about that upsets you so?" she asked.
I shrugged and tossed my wreath into the river. Water rose beneath the circlet in the shape of a head, and I almost smiled. "When I relive our interactions, I remember how close we were."
Another sigh. "Apparently, not close enough." A wave gulped down the wreath.
That time, I'd definitely received a warning.
30
The Hunter
Closer to her . . .
"How long till I see her?" I muttered from the backseat of our most recent ride. I dimly remembered Matthew getting yet another vehicle and helping me in.
I was still laid out. Never been sick a day in my life, but I couldn't shake this, no. My bones ached so bad I was certain I'd caught bonebreak fever. Delirium was setting in.
I slept most hours, barely remembering the ones when I was awake. My breaths whistled as if a weight pressed on my chest, and the skin on my bum leg felt red hot, itching like something was crawling all over it. Or in it.
But Matthew had given me a fifty-fifty shot of pulling through. Had worse odds, me. "Want to see my girl."
As usual, coo-yon didn't answer me.
We remained far in the west, as far as I could tell. Most roads had been blocked, and gas proved as scarce as ever. I didn't know where Dominija's place was, just knew it could be reached within a week on horseback from Fort Arcana. At our present pace, it would take the Fool and me months to reach even the area.
But I had to assume he would eventually get me to Evie.
In a rough voice, I said, "Woan answer me? Then tell me this, sosie. If you can fight . . . why didn't you ever before?" I thought of all those times I'd needed help out of a tight spot, when he could've changed the tide.
In the salt mine, that boy had taken out a dozen men--without a weapon. I supposed if I could see every move an opponent would make ahead of time, I could defeat just about anybody.
Pointing at his temple, he said, "If I do that, I don't do this."
My head pounded too hard to pursue the subject. "Can't say I've missed these little talks of ours."
"Empress made you a gravestone."
Of course, she would've figured I'd died with the rest. The odds of me surviving that blast were a million to one. Then the lava, and then the flood, which Matthew had blamed on Circe. I hated that Evie had grieved for even a second. "What'd she say when you told her I lived?"
Silence from coo-yon.
"You did tell her?" No answer. My eyes shot wide. I wheezed, sucking in a breath. "Damn it, boy!" I'd never imagined this possibility. Because I'd thought he cared about Evie in his own way. "She . . . she doan know I'm coming?"
"Nope."
Putain! And I wasn't strong enough to sit up, much less choke the spit out of him. If she thought I was gone, had she already accepted Dominija? "Is Evie with Death? They together?" Say no, say no.
After she'd chosen me, I'd felt like hell for Dominija. Actually had sympathy for the bastard, 'cause I knew how it felt to lose her.
When she'd wanted to stay with him back after he'd abducted her . . . I'd lost my goddamned mind.
Matthew said, "Not yet."
My eyes slid closed with relief. But it was short-lived. Not yet. "Tell my girl I'm coming for her! Tell her it'll always be Evie and Jack."
No reply.
"At least answer me this: Do I got a chance with her?" Without her as the light at the end of this tunnel, I didn't know how I could keep going. Grief over the army threatened to do me in. I'd gotten all those people killed. By using Arcana players to establish order, I'd lured in that monster.
Folks close to me had a habit of getting dead. Clotile blew out her brains to save me. Selena burned. I remembered Maman on Day Zero and shuddered.
"Yes. A chance. Chance means luck." Matthew glanced at me in the rearview mirror. "Empress despises me for letting you die."
"Then tell her I'm alive!" I yelled, bringing on a new bout of dizziness. Couldn't catch my breath. Sweat broke out over my skin, even as I felt freezing. "You've let her . . . believe I've died--twice. You trying to drive . . . her insane, you sosie? Or manipulate her?"
"I don't manipulate the Empress. Alone. I manipulate much."
"Give me a reason . . . you're making her suffer."
He tapped his temple. "Switchboard on. Emperor hears."
So coo-yon had turned off the calls to keep her ou
t of Richter's reach. Merde, I couldn't fault his reasoning. Still: "Could he track her from a quick call . . . If she doan know I'm alive. . . she's goan to be with Dominija." The thought made my heart thunder.
My fever was spiking again, getting worse by the second. Pain wrenched a groan from my wheezing lungs.
Hell, Matthew's odds for me might've been generous.
"You want me to risk the call to her, Hunter?"
When black dots swarmed my vision again, I rasped, "Non." Not yet. "'Cause I'll probably be dead anyway. . . ."
31
The Empress
Day 437 A.F.
"What are you doing in this wing?" I asked Aric. He'd just come from my grandmother's room.
This was the first time I'd spoken to him since our run-in down by the river. His training had ramped up again, and he spent hours each day practicing with his swords. Otherwise, he kept to his study and his black-walled bedroom.
Just like before, the atmosphere around the castle felt like a powder keg--except now we had outside threats to worry about. I'd considered demanding a talk with him, but what could I offer? Nothing had changed between us.
His eyes went starry at the sight of me before he shuttered his gaze. With his tone neither warm nor cold, he said, "I sought the wisdom of a Tarasova, so I went hat in hand."
"What did you want to know?"
He hiked his broad shoulders. "Alas, I . . . upset her," he said, not answering my question.
"Upset." I could only imagine. Her hatred bubbled up more and more, keeping pace with her rapidly declining physical and mental health.
She'd gotten so paranoid she wouldn't allow me to turn on the electric lights anymore--because of "the Tower." Only the fire lit her room. Shadows crept over the walls, over my vines, the flames a constant reminder of loss.
When her mouth grew slack on one side, she'd finally allowed Paul to examine her. His diagnosis: a stroke and continuing ministrokes--which she'd refused to believe. She'd slurred, "I wouldn't be surprised if Death is making me sick. He needs me out of the picture."
Paul had given her a prescription from his stockpiled medical supplies, but the pills hadn't helped. My grandmother was dying, and there was nothing we could do for her.
Now I sidled even closer to Aric, craving comfort, companionship, anything. I continued seeing him in most of my dreams, making me miss him even more. "Please tell me what you wanted to know from her."