I swallowed. I'd never forget how hard she'd hugged me that night, shocked that I was truly her loyal friend. To the end, Selena.
"The game spools on." Deep in her abyss, Circe spun a finger, and a whirlpool circled here.
Ever since my grandmother had told me to look for symbols, I'd been seeing them everywhere. Infinity symbols. A bow. A jagged fracture of rock like a lightning bolt.
A vortex.
I recalled my dreams: When the Magician had created that infinity symbol for Fauna, there'd already been one in that scene. Behind the two of them, the lions' long tails had curved over each other, making two perfect loops.
Patterns continued to appear before my eyes. Circe's whirlpool was like a helicopter's tailspin on its way down. Or a carousel that would never spin backward again. Like a tourniquet twisting.
"But for how long?" she murmured, and her whirlpool tightened.
"Has any game lasted more than a couple of years?"
"What you really want to know is whether you have any time left to let go. To accept ten swords in your back and still rise. To live. Ask the question, and I'll answer."
I had to clear my throat to say, "Do I have any time left?"
"Even if you had a mere hour, you should rise." Her eyes seemed to glow like phosphorescence. "Emotions are like tides. While you wait for your grief to ebb, Death is being carried farther and farther from you. Soon he'll be out of your reach forever."
Panic flared. "I'm the only one he can touch. He has to want me." Just as Gran had said.
"Stupid, Empress!" In her temple, Circe clenched her trident.
From the river, a wave rose up in the form of a hand, poised to slap me. I scrambled back. "What?"
The wave dissipated, and her water window dissolved, merging with the surface. "You can always bed him," she whispered, her voice fading. "But with each hour, his heart grows as cold as his sword."
Aric was strangling his heart as well.
Alone, I stared at the river and recalled his words from the night before my decision: "By all the gods, I desire you, but you must know that you have my love. It's given, sieva. Wholly entrusted to you. Have a care with it."
Yet I hadn't.
He believed that if we slept together--if we took that step--I'd finally be his. For the last two millennia, he'd taken me to bed again and again, only to have his hopes crushed each time.
And not just in the distant past. A few months ago, we'd been on the verge, but I'd balked because of a lack of protection--and my love for another man. Before I escaped him last, I'd knocked Aric out with a drug from my lips--while in bed with him. He'd thought I'd been trying to murder him once more. With his eyes devastated, he'd said, "You'd kill me before you ever accepted me."
Why wouldn't he turn his heart from me? If I went to him with another empty promise, I would lose him.
A life with him had seemed so complicated, so loaded with intrigues. But now the idea of us growing old together seemed laughable. Did my concerns about Death's deal with Lark no longer factor?
I had learned my painful lesson: Some fates can't be changed.
Shouldn't that lesson apply to everything? If I was fated to be with Aric, then maybe Death was inevitable. In every sense.
On my way back up to the castle . . . snow began to fall.
33
The Hunter
Closer to her . . .
I was freezing cold, but sweat slicked the truck's vinyl bench. Fever blazing? My mouth was so dry, my head splitting. My lungs rattled. I shook, rocking uncontrollably.
None of that mattered, no, 'cause I could see Evie. Pretty blue eyes and curving lips.
She liked to take care of me, fussing over me. Ma belle infirmiere. I could see her so clearly that she had to be here with me; I could even smell her honeysuckle scent. "Evie, bebe . . . that really you?"
The truck slammed to a stop. Matthew's door opened. Then my door opened? He hauled me into a sitting position.
Evie wasn't here. Gutted, me. I squinted, saw snow coming down.
Did it snow wherever she was? Could she be thinking about me? I would do anything to see her again.
Just once.
"Your future refuses to behave." Coo-yon yanked off the jacket he'd sourced for me. Up was down. Then he stepped back. And released me--
I toppled over, falling out of my seat onto the ground. Was the sosie dumping me on the side of the road? 'Cause I was about to die? "Now, let's just talk . . . 'bout this, coo-yon."
He caught hold of my good ankle, then dragged me farther away from the truck. He'd hauled me into . . . a bank of snow.
_______________
The Empress
Jack and I had marveled at the snow. I spun in circles as flakes fell, dizziness overwhelming me.
I'd known this was going to send me spiraling. Gasping for breath, I collapsed, tears streaking down my face.
Lark's animals fell silent. The river's current stilled. The better to hear my sobs. I missed Jack so much; I missed Aric so much. I cried for them both.
The skies opened up with an intense shower of snow, till it'd painted the ground white.
"Isn't it amazing?" I'd told Jack that last day. "Everything looks clean."
What I should have said: "You're about to die, and there's nothing I can do about it. And in a few short weeks, I'll be so messed up that I'll decide to live for more than revenge."
To tighten my tourniquet, even now. To delay a grief that could bury me. To rise and walk.
I'd thought the sight of snow--and all the emotions it brought--would make me less likely to be with Aric.
Just the opposite; because I could see my future so clearly. If he died before I did, some symbol--like snow--would mark the end of his existence. Later I would experience that waypoint (because everything was connected) and wish to God I'd taken a different path.
Death was inevitable. Why make him wait any longer? In a perfect world, I would've taken more time to grieve Jack and get my mind straight.
This world was as far from perfect as it could get.
I decided then that I would map my own journey and mark my own waypoints. The snow would symbolize both the end of one story and the beginning of another.
A new slate. But not a blank one. The red ribbon would be a cherished remembrance, but I wouldn't keep it with me at all times.
I lay in the snow and lifted my hand to the sky. Flakes landed on my damp face. Each one was a cool kiss good-bye.
_______________
The Hunter
Lying in that bank of snow, I gazed up at the falling flakes. They drifted over my face. Soft, soft. Like Evie's lips. With effort, I lifted my scarred hand to the sky. I closed my eyes and pretended my Evangeline was caring for me.
J'ai savoure. I savored each cold kiss. . . .
34
The Empress
Day 451 A.F.
"You still have only two icons?" Gran murmured as I sat beside her bed.
Over the last week, the snow had melted as if it'd never been--while I remained changed. I'd made a decision that affected my future, and then I'd made preparations.
Soon, I would rise.
"Why haven't you taken another marking?" she said, her faint voice slurring. "Because your powers are suffering?"
They continued weakening. I had a theory about that, but I pushed it from my mind. "Hey, I brought some pictures with me." I collected my laptop, then sat beside her on the bed. Though I wanted to learn more from her, I refused to listen when she talked about killing my friends. So I grasped for other subjects.
I opened up the family albums. As I scrolled through them, her eyes appeared dazed, as if she wasn't seeing the images. Yet then she stared at a large picture of my father.
I said, "I wish I could remember him."
"David used to carry you around the farm on his shoulders," she said. "He read to you every night and took you to the river to skip stones. He drove you around to pet every baby animal born i
n a ten-mile radius. Lambs, kittens, puppies." She drew a labored breath. "He brought you to the crops and the gardens. Even then, you would pet the bark of an oak and kiss a rose bloom. If the cane was sighing that day, you'd fall asleep in his arms."
I imagined it all: the sugarcane, the farm, the majestic oaks, the lazy river that always had fish jumping. My roots were there, but I knew I would never go back. Jack's dream had been to return and rebuild Haven. A dream we'd shared. I would feel like a traitor going home without him. Plus, it'd be too painful. Everything would remind me of the love I'd lost.
"David's death was so needless," she said. "Don't know what he was doing near that cane crusher."
I snapped my gaze to her. "What do you mean? He disappeared on a fishing trip in the Basin."
She frowned at me. "He did. Of course."
Chills crept up my spine. Was she lying? Why would she, unless . . .
No, no. I shook my head hard. She had the same kind of mental fog I had, understandable if she'd had strokes.
With all the double crosses of the game, I was paranoid. She'd loved my mom. Mom had loved my dad. Gran would never hurt him.
"Love of her life, gone forever," Gran muttered. "Nearly broke your mother. Now you are broken. You're getting weaker. If you don't win this game, then my life has meant nothing. Karen's sacrifice for you will mean nothing. Nothing!" For the hundredth time, she said, "Take out the little Strength Card. The low-hanging fruit."
My well of patience spat up sand, dry as a bone. I slammed my laptop closed and shot to my feet. "I will never agree with you about the other Arcana here. We should avoid discussing them."
I searched for another subject, realizing there were none. Every conversation led back to the murder of Aric and my friends.
As if I hadn't spoken, she said, "Weaker, weaker. Take the icons while you still can. Even Death's. Seduce him out of his armor, then strike. Use your poison kiss!"
I lost it. "I am not killing Aric. I will never hurt him!"
At last, she seemed to have heard me. Comprehension lit her eyes for the first time in forever. "Dear God . . . you . . . you . . . love that monster." Her face grew red and blotchy. "You don't deny it? You will rue it!" She went into a coughing fit. "I-I spent eight years in an institution, caged, trapped--for you! But you refuse to hear me. To see."
I backed away from her. Maybe she'd done even more than those eight years. My grandmother might be a murderer for the Arcana cause. And now her player was refusing to conform.
An angry vein pulsed in her temple. "You want Death so badly, he'll end your life. He will take your head; I swear it. And if you've truly fallen in love with him, then you deserve it!"
As I stared at her in disbelief, Paul strode into the room.
In a firm tone, he told me, "Evie, you need to take a break. Now. I will stay with her till morning."
I staggered on my feet. I needed Aric. I needed us to be the way we were. Hadn't I always been on this path to him? Our story had been building for two thousand years. I might as well try to hold back the waves of the ocean.
Jack wouldn't begrudge me this, not at the end of the world.
And this time, I wouldn't be going to Aric with nothing new to offer.
I told Gran, "I-I'll be back soon." In a daze, I headed toward Aric's study. Animals tromped past me in the halls--a black tomcat, a rabbit, and a goat. In the living room, a bear cub and a lion cub sparred, shredding the carpet.
Aric's well-ordered sanctuary had been overrun. He was going to be furious.
I opened up his study. Not there. But I felt a pang to see that he'd left the poppy growing in his desk. I gave it a little juice to perk it up, then headed to the training yard. No sign of him. Then to the stable.
Thanatos was gone.
I hurried down to the river. "Circe! Where'd Aric go?"
"Hmm."
"Not now with that shit, Priestess!"
"The last I saw of him," she answered in a snippy tone, "his eyes were alight with anguish."
I sprinted back up the steep drive. I found Lark in her room--which now had wall-to-wall fur, feathers, and scales. I stepped on something's paw and earned a hiss.
As usual, Lark's eyes glowed red as she searched.
"Where's Aric?"
She shook herself out of her trance. "Away."
My glyphs flared. "What?" He was out there alone? With the Emperor on the loose? What if Aric never returned? If Richter found him . . .
"Chill, unclean one. The boss has been leaving on and off for the last few weeks. You just never noticed."
Guilt twisted inside me. "Where did he go?"
"Dunno. He always passes outside of my animal network when I'm asleep."
Then he did it on purpose, because he didn't want to be tracked. Still . . . "Lark, I need Cyclops to scent his trail and lead me to him."
"No way, Evie!" She held up her palms, her claws curling. "He'd be freaking furious! That would seriously put me in his crosshairs."
I narrowed my eyes. "What makes you think I won't do worse than he ever could?"
She tilted her head. "Good point."
_______________
The Hunter
Somewhere east of the old Mississippi River
Closer still . . .
Another truck. Another highway.
But Matthew swore we were closing in on our destination.
Barely a week had passed since he'd broken my fever in the snow. Only yesterday I'd felt my first glimmer of hope that I would hang onto my foot and leg after all. I was using a crutch and a crude brace to walk, but I was fast on the mend.
My vision and lungs were clearing, yet my head and my heart still suffered, 'cause I knew I was running out of time to reach my girl. Urgency clawed at me, till I thought I'd go mad.
Did she remember that it'd always be Evie and Jack? That even death--or Death--couldn't keep us apart? Would she remember how perfect it'd been between us?
With her, I'd known true peace for the first time in my life. Hadn't she?
As coo-yon and I covered miles, I'd craved that cellphone--with its pictures of Evie--and her taped recording. When I'd been separated from her before, I'd used her voice like a drug. Now I was a junkie needing a fix, but my pack had been stolen early on. Gone forever.
Matthew had sourced another one for me--up was down--but it was empty. Fitting. 'Cause I was starting over with nothing.
From behind the wheel, coo-yon said, "You need her."
"Tell me something I doan know."
He frowned, taking me literally. "You don't know the future. I see far. I see an unbroken line that stretches through eternity--and back on itself."
"Uh-huh." Just hold on, peekon, I'm coming.
35
The Empress
Somewhere in the Ash
As I followed Cyclops on horseback through the drizzly rain, panic was my constant companion.
I'd been so freaked out at the castle, I'd barely taken time to stuff gear into a pack before galloping down the drive, with Cyclops leading the way.
I had no idea how much time or distance had passed since Circe had opened her floodgates for me. Dark rolled into dark as I ascended mountain trails and traversed canyons.
No signs of life. No Baggers. Just ash.
To keep myself occupied--and to keep from replaying my grandmother's words--I'd tried to sense seeds buried in the earth. Surprisingly many. At one point, I must've crossed an old farm; the ground had been thick with them.
When I crested another rise overlooking a valley, Cyclops grew more animated, craning his huge head back at me more often.
"Are we getting close?" Talking to a freaking wolf again.
He snuffled, so I took that as a good sign.
We followed a meandering path that descended gradually, skirting the valley, before opening into a clearing.
I was almost upon a small cabin before I'd realized what I was seeing; the structure looked as if it'd been built right into the sid
e of the mountain. Beside it was a stable under an overhang of rock.
Thanatos! The massive warhorse snorted a warning to me, but didn't really commit to it. I tied my horse beside him, then hurried to the cabin.
The door wasn't locked, understandable with Thanatos as sentry. I ducked my head inside, calling, "Aric?" No answer.
What a weird place. The walls looked like . . . copper. Maps of constellations were pinned to corkboards. Some kind of electronic gadgetry covered a large workstation.
Aric's things were in a back room. His armor! Why was he outside unprotected? My pulse raced so fast I thought I'd pass out. He could be in danger right now!
He could be dead.
With a cry, I lurched from the cabin. "Take me to him!" I commanded Cyclops. The wolf started off, following a path between boulders. As I tripped after him, the rain grew more intense, drumming down on my head. Lightning flared--
A chunk of ice the size of a soccer ball landed feet from me, and other smaller ones pattered all around. Postapocalyptic hail? Aric wore no helmet! "Let's go, wolf!"
The path veered around an outcropping of rock; I rushed along it to another clearing, then stutter-stepped. A raised plateau stretched before me. Atop it was a gigantic dish, dozens of feet tall.
Was it a telescope? Or some kind of antenna? The Flash had scorched the expanse of metal black in places.
I raised my hand to shield my eyes against the rain. Spotted Aric. He was climbing in the base of the structure, amid the framework. That explained his lack of armor. He wasn't even wearing a shirt as he effortlessly moved from beam to beam.
Why was he here? Uncaring of the hail and lightning, I found a path leading up. As soon as I reached the plateau, he caught sight of me.
He leapt down from what must have been twenty feet, then stalked toward me. His muscles flexed with tension, and the tattooed runes on his torso seemed to come alive.
He'd told me those slashing marks were our story, to remind him never to trust me. I'd told him history didn't have to repeat itself.
"What in the hell are you doing here?" He seemed to grow larger with every step closer, his body thrumming with aggression. In the night, his eyes glittered with fury.
I refused to back down, meeting him halfway. "I came to find you!"