Page 22 of In the Fifth Season


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  They passed a signpost to Haast, and Toni said, "I've often looked on a map, and thought I'd like to come down here one day."

  "No. It's not like it was," Rob said. "It's far too touristy these days."

  "Well, I wouldn't know, would I? I wanted to see it because of my name."

  He didn’t seem to have a clue what she meant.

  "Haast."

  "Oh. He was Austrian, not Dutch. You couldn't be related."

  They were closemouthed and crabby with each other by the time they arrived at Franz Joseph. The town was acquisitive and dusty, uncomfortably crowded. Every time a thundering helicopter took off, Toni jerked in surprise. Tourist buses grunted and hissed as they jostled for parking space, and carelessly gassed Toni and Rob as they ate at a pavement café. After minutes of avoiding each other's eyes, Rob said, "I'm so mind numbingly bored working at the Dependable."

  "If you're so bored, why don't you leave?"

  "The money is good."

  "Money isn't everything," Toni said. "So you tell me."

  "True. But, as my big brother always says, 'Life is a shit sandwich – the more bread you have the less shit you taste'. You'd like Chris. He's tall dark, handsome and worth a fortune. And he's always right."

  "Married?"

  "At the moment."

  "Damn." Toni punched her palm.

  "I also hate job interviews. That's where all the power bollocks starts. You have to whore yourself to a panel of people you wouldn't waste a minute of your life with normally. And it's all that 'Tell us about what a great team player you are, and how you averted a world crisis before morning tea' crap. So, I suppose I don't leave the Dependable because I can't face going anywhere else. Despite everything, I guess I'm used to things there. Bored but comfortable."

  Rob seemed to brighten up after he ordered another beer, and told Toni a story about how at his university all the campus buildings were identified alphabetically, with the law faculty marked F.

  "One day, this student asks me if the philosophy department is in F block. When I tell him F block is the law faculty, he says to me that he thinks it's a pretty stupid way to identify the buildings."

  Toni didn’t laugh but looked at him closely.

  "Duh! He obviously thought philosophy began with 'F'."

  "It does in Dutch," she said.

  "Well, this wasn't Omsterdom," he said in what he must think is a Dutch accent. "And, for your information, he wasn't Dutch. He was a pig ignorant rugger bugger whose family owned half of Otago. And he happened to become the youngest ever National Party MP."

  Rob looked at her as if to say, "Go on, accuse me of making it up." Toni was tempted to do just that. Like a lightening storm, a full on fight might just clear the air between them. But she held herself in check.

  Before they get back to Wellington, Rob would confess he had no idea who the student was. He'd looked like someone who was a rugger bugger whose father might own half of Otago and who might become the youngest ever National Party MP. Whenever he'd told the story before, his peers had been so open to a tale of plutocratic stupidity that minor issues like plausibility and the truth had not been raised.

  Toni made a show of waving away Rob's cigarette smoke. "I thought you'd given up those disgusting things," she said.

  "It's only my second today. That's not bad. You can't just go cold turkey." He looked away from her, no doubt ashamed of his weakness.

  The silence between them deepened, but tourist noise was all around. Rob looked as though he planned to sit there all afternoon drinking beer, but Toni called for the bill and escaped to the bathroom while he paid.