“Let me down—you don’t have to do this!” Jo protested. He was so big and warm and so close she could smell the spicy, masculine scent of his skin. It made her pussy throb and ache being so near to him—made her nearly crazy with desire.
Feeling so much heat—so much need—made her panicky. She wriggled in Reese’s arms.
“I said, I’m perfectly capable of walking!”
“Right. Which is why you’re falling all over the damn place when you try to take two steps,” he growled sarcastically, tightening his grip. “I’m not going to argue with you, Jo. I’ll carry you home in human form or Fox form but you’re not walking.”
“Fine!” Jo nearly shouted. “Fine, your Fox form then. Anything is better than—” She broke off abruptly, seeing the look on his face.
“Anything is better than being close to me, being held by me. Is that right?” There was a bitterness in his deep voice Jo hadn’t heard before.
“Reese—” she began but he was already putting her down. Without another word, he Shifted back, growing into the huge Fox once more so quickly she would have missed it if she’d looked away for even a second.
The Fox gave her a long, steady look, then crouched low so she could get on his back.
Feeling miserable, Jo obeyed the silent command. Throwing a leg over his furry side, she climbed aboard and held on to his ruff. The Fox cast a glance over his shoulder, as if to make sure she was well settled.
“I’m fine,” Jo told him. “You can go.”
He nodded once and began picking his way with surprising delicacy through the forest. For such a huge animal, he made hardly any noise, and he was good at avoiding any tree branches that would hit her or scrape her off his back.
His fur was warm and soft and Jo found the ride surprisingly comfortable—or she would have if she hadn’t been so miserable.
Why did I say that? she asked herself. Now Reese thinks I hate him, when actually I . . . What? How did she feel for the big Shifter? She’d only known him a little over a week but she’d found Reese to be kind and intelligent—not to mention patient and generous. Don’t forget hot, muscular, and mouthwateringly sexy, whispered a little voice in her head.
Jo tried to push it away. I’m only feeling like that because of that stupid spell, she thought. The stupid spell she still had no way of breaking since she hadn’t gotten the night-blooming jasmine after all. Damn.
Anyway, that was the reason Reese was feeling for her as well—the spell. And maybe it had something to do with the Shifter hormones Fiona kept talking about, though Jo was still skeptical about the idea of being a Shifter herself. It seemed to her that the physical changes in her body could be explained by magical means as much as hormonal ones.
“You know,” she told the Fox, since he was easier to talk to than Reese in his human form. “You only think you care about me—that you like me, I mean.”
One pointed ear swiveled back as though he was listening and the Fox made a short, sharp yip that sounded like a negation to Jo.
“It’s true,” she insisted, as they reached the edge of the forest. “It’s that stupid spell I cast on both of us—it’s making us both crazy for each other. Or maybe it’s the whole Shifter thing—I don’t know. But I think it’s more likely the spell. I—”
They were back in Reese’s backyard by now. With no warning, the Fox Shifted and twisted under her. Jo gasped as she suddenly found herself straddling Reese’s naked, muscular torso and staring down into a human face instead of his Fox.
“Oh!” she gasped in surprise.
“Is that really what you think?” Reese demanded, glaring up at her. “That I only care about you because of some spell?”
“Yes, all right?” Jo snapped. “It’s driving us both crazy and it needs to be broken. That’s what I was out doing tonight—I wasn’t running away. I was trying to get an ingredient to put in a spell breaking potion I found. Look . . .” She scrambled up off of him and stood aside so he could stand. “Come in the house and I’ll show you. And, uh . . .” She could feel her cheeks getting hot as her eyes flicked over his big, naked body. “You can put some clothes on too.”
“All right. Let’s go in.” He stooped to pick her up again but Jo stepped hastily away.
“I feel better now. I really can walk.”
“Fine. But it you start to fall I’m going to catch you whether you like it or not, darlin’.” Frowning at her, Reese held out a hand in an “after you” gesture.
Jo was feeling steadier on her feet by now. Her temple still throbbed, but the world had stopped spinning and swaying. She walked carefully but quickly up the back porch steps without falling.
Once inside, she headed for the upstairs area and went to get Miranda’s book of Shadows. She would prove to Reese once and for all that she’d had a legitimate reason to be out tonight and that she hadn’t been running away.
Are you sure about that? whispered a little voice in her head. Don’t you think trying to find a way to break the spell is a form of running away? Running away from what you feel for Reese?
Not now, Jo told the voice firmly. She wasn’t ready to think about how she felt for the big Shifter. She might never be ready.
Pushing the thought aside, she went to find the book.
Chapter Twelve
Reese went to his room and pulled on a pair of blue pajama bottoms. He didn’t bother with anything else—it was the middle of the night and presumably they would be going to sleep soon.
Not that he could sleep with so many thoughts on his mind . . . and so much pain in his heart. He’d thought that he and Jo had a connection—that they were forming a bond between them. They seemed to have so much in common—they laughed at each other’s jokes, they enjoyed working in the kitchen together, talking together, reading together, and just generally being in each other’s company.
At least he’d thought they did.
Was I imagining it all? he wondered as he brushed the pieces of dried leaves out of his hair. Was I making it up to make myself feel better? Trying to believe she felt for me the way I feel for her?
Because he did feel for her—so much it made his heart ache with yearning to be near her, to touch her and hold her—to heal the old pain he saw lurking in her lovely amber eyes sometimes.
I love her, Reese suddenly realized. And it’s not because of any damn spell or even because of her Juvie scent—I love her for being everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman . . . for just being herself.
But he couldn’t tell Jo that—not now, when she’d made it so transparently obvious that she wanted nothing to do with him. Not when he knew she’d rather risk her life in the dark forest at night than spend one more day feeling for him the way he felt for her.
Be fair, whispered a little voice in his head. She has a past—a reason not to trust males. A reason to be afraid. He thought of the little sachet of herbs and the instructions Fiona had given him. The wise woman’s words came back to him.
“Jo must be healed of the past before she can move forward into the future, Reese,” she’d told him. “A kind and patient male may be able to help her. But you must wait for the right time.”
Well, he’d been waiting and so far it seemed like Jo was running away from him rather than towards him. Was there anything he could do to stop that? Was there any way to show he could be trusted, that he would never hurt her?
Reese just didn’t know.
“It’s gone.”
He looked up to see Jo standing at the doorway of his room. She, too, had changed clothes. She was wearing the warm, woolly green robe his sister Meggie had left behind—it made her flame-colored hair look almost auburn.
She was holding a book—an old leather-bound journal—and thumbing desperately through the pages.
“What’s gone?” Reese asked, frowning. “What are you talking about?”
“The potion formula I told you about—the one for breaking love spells.” Jo looked up at him, her face stricken. “It’s gone. B
ut it was here—right here at the end of Miranda’s book of shadows. It was even in her handwriting. Two of the pages were stuck together and . . .” She trailed off, her face going pale.
“What is it, darlin’?” Reese stepped forward, concerned.
“I just . . . I wonder if it was an illusion somehow. A way to get me out into the forest tonight. Some of the things that . . . that man said to me . . .”
She looked so upset and unsteady that Reese took her by the arm. He felt her flinch but she didn’t pull away from him—that was something, he supposed.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go sit by the fire downstairs and talk about it. Try to make some sense out of all this.”
“All right.” She nodded numbly and they went downstairs, Reese still holding her arm, to sit on the couch in front of the fireplace in the living room.
It had been a chilly day and there was already a fire going, although it had mostly burned down to embers. Reese threw another log on and made sure it caught before turning back to Jo. She had her legs pulled up under her and her arms wrapped around herself. There was a frightened, uncertain look on her face.
Reese felt his heart fist in his chest. The pose made her look like a vulnerable little girl. He wanted so badly to gather her into his arms and just hold her—just comfort her. But he knew Jo wouldn’t want that. She wouldn’t trust him or herself to be that close.
Instead, he came and sat beside her, but not too close, making sure to give her some space.
“All right, darlin’,” he said quietly. “Tell me what that bastard said. And what he did to you.”
“He . . . he didn’t . . . do that.” Jo shook her head, clearly unable to get it all out but Reese understood. He hadn’t thought the son of a bitch had raped her but he wasn’t completely sure until he heard it from her. A wave of relief washed over him.
“All right,” he said gently. “I understand. So then, what did he say to you?”
“He knew I was a witch for one thing,” Jo said. “And he knew you were a Shifter. He asked . . . asked if you’d bred me yet.” Her cheeks in the firelight were pink with embarrassment. “And he got really angry when he figured out you hadn’t.”
“What? That’s fucked up!” Reese growled. “How did he know you were here?”
“I don’t know.” Jo shook her head. “But we haven’t exactly been secret about spending time together. Anybody watching would see me going in and out of your house, see us driving to work and back home together, and then there are the picnics . . .”
“True.” Reese sighed. “I still don’t like it. Why would he want me to breed you? If he’s another Alpha that’s after you, I would expect him to not want another male to take you.”
“Is he a Shifter, though?” Jo asked. “Are you sure about that?”
Reese frowned. “I couldn’t tell, to be honest. It seems like if he was a Shifter, he would have Shifted and fought me instead of running. But there was something about him—his smell was wrong. Kind of sour and not quite human, if that makes sense.”
“Nothing about this makes sense.” Jo shook her head. “But I’m beginning to wonder if you and I didn’t just meet by accident—if maybe I was chased here to your house on purpose by someone.” She shook her head. “But who?”
“I think we ought to talk to Fiona about this,” Reese said thoughtfully. “Maybe my friend Keller and his mate, Samantha, too. She was turned into a Shifter against her will by a compound someone injected into her.”
Jo raised her eyebrows.
“You think someone forced me to . . . to change into a Shifter? Not that I have yet—I still don’t think I will,” she added quickly, frowning.
Reese sighed. He wished she wasn’t still in denial about being a Shifter. He felt like things would be easier between them if she could accept what she was . . . what she was becoming.
“It’s possible,” he said evenly. “Keller told me there was some speculation about the water supply around here being contaminated with the same chemical that forced his mate Samantha’s recessive Shifter Gene to become active. And Fiona thought we’d see a lot more Juvies popping up as a result.”
Jo gave a broken little laugh.
“Well, I certainly did pop up—right in your shed. But I don’t like the idea of someone else somehow manipulating my life to go in a certain direction.” She sighed. “God, I sound like a conspiracy theorist.”
“We can talk about all of it when we have everyone gathered together,” Reese told her. “Keller is planning a barbeque at his place. He already invited us. I was just, uh, waiting for the right time to ask if you wanted to go.” He cleared his throat. “Everyone wants to meet you.”
“Oh, um . . .” Jo nibbled her lip. “I don’t mind meeting new people when I’m not some kind of outcast refugee. But right now—”
“You’re not an outcast and you’re not a refugee. You’re my—” Reese stopped himself abruptly. He’d wanted to say, ‘you’re my mate’ but he was sure that wouldn’t go over well with Jo at all. “My guest,” he ended lamely. “But forget the barbeque for now—what I want to talk about is why you decided to risk going into the forest alone.”
“I thought about that,” Jo admitted. “But I guess I decided . . .” She trailed off, still studying the book in her lap.
“Decided what?” Reese asked, frowning.
She shrugged defensively. “Decided it was worth the risk, okay?” She looked up at him. “Worth the risk to stop feeling this way all the time—so . . . so hot and achy and needy and miserable. It’s like you said earlier—it’s torture.” She shifted on the couch uncomfortably. “I ache every time I’m around you—there’s a . . . a throbbing between my legs that just never goes away. It’s like my libido is stuck in overdrive and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“There is something you could do—you could let me help you,” Reese said quietly. “I’m an Alpha, Jo—and you can talk about your spell all you want but what your body craves is the touch of an Alpha. I could ease your ache if you’d let me.”
“What—by breeding me?” She shivered. “I don’t think so! I told you, I won’t break my vow of chastity to the Goddess.”
Reese ran a hand through his hair and strove to keep his tone steady.
“It doesn’t have to be breeding—not now, anyway. When Lady Moon gets full, well, that’s going to be a different story. But right now I might be able to help you in a different way.”
“What way?” She looked at him mistrustfully.
Reese tried to think how he could explain it.
“There’s a . . . a healing ritual. Fiona told me about it,” he said at last.
“A healing ritual?” Jo frowned. “What exactly would you be healing?”
Reese took a deep breath. “Your sex—your feminine core, essentially,” he said, trying to be delicate. “Fiona explained that certain parts of the body hold on to trauma—the same way a certain place or building can hold on to bad or good things that happen there. Does that make sense?”
He’d been afraid she would give him a curt, angry answer and leave. To his surprise and relief, she nodded instead.
“Well . . . yes,” she said at last. “In Yoga we teach that you can hold a lot of tension and hurt in your hips. That’s why a lot of women have so much tightness and pain there.”
“Fiona said that some parts of you can get . . . blocked, for want of a better word,” Reese said, encouraged.
“Like your different chakras?” Jo raised an eyebrow.
“I guess so.” He shrugged. “Honestly, I’ve never done Yoga so I don’t know. But I do know I’d like to try healing some of the hurt that was done to you, darlin’. Fiona said . . .” He cleared his throat. “She said that since it was male energy that hurt you in the first place, it would have to be male energy to heal you.”
“So this ritual . . . is it spellcraft? Casting?” Jo asked uncertainly.
Reese chuckled. “Hardly, darlin’. I told you before, the onl
y magic I have is my Shifting ability. I believe it’s more of a psychological thing. But Fiona seemed to think it would help, so . . .”
Jo was quiet for a long moment, studying her hands and the leather bound journal in her lap. Reese could feel his heart pounding—if only she would let him try to help her! But he sensed she couldn’t be pushed so he gave her time to think.
At last, she looked up at him.
“I suppose as long as there’s no penetration involved it wouldn’t technically break my vow of chastity to the Goddess . . .” She sighed. “All right. Tell me what to do.”
Chapter Thirteen
“You might not like this,” Reese said. He was sitting on the floor at her feet. Beside him on a tray was a bowl of steaming water, a small sachet of dried herbs, and a pure white cloth, about the size of a washcloth, made of new lamb’s wool.
Jo herself was still sitting on the couch wearing nothing but her underwear and the puffy dark green bathrobe. She’d refused to take it off until the last minute—she felt too vulnerable without it.
She still wasn’t sure why she’d agreed to let Reese try this ritual. Maybe it was because of her background as a Wiccan—rituals and spells comforted her. Or maybe she was touched by his wish to help heal her pain. At any rate, if it helped take the edge off her insatiable lust and eased the throbbing between her thighs, the ritual would be worth any amount of discomfort and embarrassment.
But Reese’s words weren’t exactly encouraging.
“I won’t like what?” she asked cautiously.
He sighed and raked a hand through his tousled hair. In the firelight, his face was earnest and she could see the auburn highlights in his brown, almost-curly hair.
“You have to tell me,” Reese said in a low voice. “Tell me your hurt—tell me what happened to you—before I can try to heal it.”
Jo almost balked. She hadn’t told anyone in detail about her attack since she’d first found her way to Miranda, so many years ago, and she didn’t want to dredge up the old pain again. She opened her mouth to refuse . . . but the serious, hopeful look on Reese’s face stopped her. What if this ritual really could help her? She shouldn’t refuse to participate in it just because it made her uncomfortable. She needed to at least give it a chance.