**
Matt was attentive, and it made me feel worse about leading him on. Watching the videos of him competing in skateboarding events blew me away. After all these years, I had no idea he was so avid about it, let alone that good. No wonder he had such roughed up knees and elbows. He was sponsored by some pretty popular skate brands, and had already won several contests. He proved his insane capabilities video after video. I was impressed with how high he went in the air on ramps and half pipes, and by all the tricks he was capable of.
My phone kept making that pinging sound, telling me I had new text messages. I’d ignored it long enough. I knew it was my mom, since I was with everyone else who would be texting me. I grabbed my phone to see what she wanted. When I viewed the name on the screen, it lit up the name JAKE. I almost passed out. My head immediately began to spin from the blood rushing to my brain. How could this be? I excused myself, trying not to run into the bathroom. Shutting the toilet lid, I sat there with a stupid grin on my face. I was worried it was someone playing a joke on me. I replied back:
- IF IT’S JAKE, TELL ME SOMETHING THAT NO ONE KNOWS, LIKE WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT?
I hit send and stood up pacing the tiny bathroom. I waited what seemed like five minutes, then the ping:
- SLEPT NEXT TO U
My heart raced. Oh, my God. I didn’t know how to reply. In those few seconds of thought, another text came:
- SMELLING UR STAWBERRY SCENTED HAIR
My hands trembled and my mouth went dry. I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. Looking into the bathroom mirror, the person looking back at me was flushed. I took a deep breath:
- HOW’D U GET MY #?
Jake replied:
- WHILE U WERE ASLEEP THIS MORN I PRGRMD UR PHN. U SHLD RLY HV A CODE.
The texting continued:
- WHERE R U?
- MATT’S
- IS MATT THE GUY W/THE SKATE?
- YES
- IS HE SITTING NXT 2U WHILE U TXT?
- NO
- MISSIN’ U. WHEN R U COMIN HOME?
I stood there with my heart in my throat and my blood pounding against the back of my eyeballs.
- SOON, BUT I’M SUPPOSED 2GO2 THE MOVIES W/HIM
- OH, OK
I sat on the bathroom counter waiting for a reply and I didn’t get one. My heart sank. I shouldn’t have admitted anything about Matt. I bet he thinks I’m a fake. I had to go. I had to go home. I opened the door and floated into the living room. I was numb, which added realism for my fake sickness I was going to continue to lie about.
“Guys, I’m still not feeling right, I’m gonna go home,” I said weakly, for better effect.
Matt immediately got up coming over to me. “Okay, do you want me to walk you home?” he offered, concerned.
“No, I’ll be okay,” I assured him. “I’ve felt weird all day. Yesterday, too. I’ll be okay.”
The next thing I knew, I was knocking on Jake’s door like a maniac talking to myself. Jake finally opened the door, noshing on an apple. Astonishment sparked in his eyes. I guess he hadn’t been expecting me.
4
Alyssa
Jake’s eyes danced and a smile peaked at the edges of his mouth as he stood holding the door open for me. I wondered what he was thinking. I was definitely, officially losing my mind. I should be admitted to a psych ward. Every inch of me wanted to hug him, but I refrained. I moved to walk past him, and he draped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. My reaction was instantaneous. I returned the gesture, wrapping my arms around his waist, not saying a word. Unexpectedly, his mother came in the house through the garage door, catching us mid-hug. We awkwardly released each other, putting some room between us. Her expression was warm and her eyes crinkled at the sides when she smiled.
“Alyssa, my goodness, it’s good to see you,” she said, throwing us a sly grin. “Come in here and talk to me. Tell me what you’ve been up to.”
Jake and I shrugged simultaneously. As his mom turned away, I shook my head no, silently pleading with him.
He looked at me sideways, shoving me forward. I sighed, reluctantly walking ahead of him, into the kitchen. I sat down on a stool perched next to the counter and swung my legs back and forth.
Jake cleared his throat.
“Um, Aly came over the other day with one of her friends and helped wash my truck,” he explained. “Then we got to talking…”
I chimed in. “Yeah, my friend Nadine wanted to meet Jake. So, I introduced them.” I gulped, wondering what else to say. Then the words came flying outta my mouth before I realized it. “Mrs. Masters, I had no idea how awesome Jake’s music is. I mean, I knew he liked to play, but the sound coming from your garage was always muffled, you know.”
I stopped blathering, I told myself. Jake moved out of my view. Even though he wasn’t touching me, I could feel his energy behind me.
“Aly, you don’t have to call me Mrs. Masters. I’m no longer a Mrs., and I’ve known you far too long. Kate will do.”
Kate Masters was a stunningly beautiful woman, with long, honey-colored hair. I marveled at her eyes. She had the same intense topaz blue eyes as Jake. Her face showed hardly any signs of her true age, no deep lines, and barely any wrinkles. I wondered how old she was. If you didn’t look too hard, you’d think she was Jake’s older sister.
“Are you kids hungry?” She flipped her hair off her shoulder as she turned toward the fridge.
“Yeah, actually, I am.” Jake said, looking over at me and I shook my head in agreement. “Aly is too.”
“Okay, I’ll make a pizza. Do you like pepperoni?” she asked me.
I nodded. “Yeah! That sounds yummy.”
Jake walked over to a small TV mounted underneath one of the kitchen cabinets and turned it on. Kate stacked the counter with what appeared to be ingredients for the pizza. I was waiting for a box to come out of the freezer. She quickly explained how bad frozen food was for you.
She schooled us about sodium and the amount used to keep frozen food edible, which was way more than anyone needed for an entire day. She went on—“if you just take some time for preparation, your health will be much better in the long run.” She preached lightly about organic food, acupuncture, and natural remedies for modern day ailments. I sat there, listening, fascinated by this new information.
Jake was trying not to look bored—he’d probably heard it all a thousand times, but I asked a plethora of questions. Each time, I glanced in Jake’s direction, he nodded at me approvingly. I was exactly where I wanted to be.
It was cool making pizza dough. I attempted to toss mine in the air like those pro Italian pizza guys.
“Oh, you think you’re fancy like that, do you?” Jake teased.
With one toss, Jake’s dough launched across the counter and landed on the floor.
“I’m obviously fancier than you,” I snickered.
Jake cursed under his breath, laughing and leered good-humoredly at me. I was proud of my lop-sided dough canvas. We finished our pizzas and put them in the oven. Kate disappeared into the other room.
“You can relax now, Chatter Box,” he chided, moving in closer to me. “I’m not gonna lie. I’m glad you ditched skateboard boy.”
I threw him a cross look for his smart remark.
“Don’t forget I told Matt I might go to the movies with him tonight.”
There was silence. Jake held a bag of pepperoni and tossed them, one-by-one, into his mouth. The anxiety grew inside me with each silent second. He walked to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water, and took a long swig. Finally, he looked at me.
“Yeah, well,” he said, standing there leaning against the counter staring at me with a blank expression. I was dying inside. I didn’t want to always be the one pouring my guts out. “I guess the one thing I can always count on is that you’ll tell me the truth, right?”
I stood there, frozen, thinking about all the lies I’d told to everyone but him. At the moment, his statement was true. I
didn’t know what to say to his statement. “So, what’s up?”
I could feel the heat rising in my face. I turned without a word and walked out of the kitchen to find solace, alone in the bathroom. In the midst of my brain hemorrhage, I didn’t hear Jake walking behind me. When I turned to close the bathroom door, his arm extended above my head, and pressed the door firmly in place. I’m sure he could read my face like a bright red stoplight.
Looking up at him, I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to grab his face and kiss him, like I’d seen done in the movies a thousand times. His face was so close to mine, and I could smell his perfect scent. Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath and felt both of his hands cup my cheeks. My heart stopped. He rested his forehead on mine and I felt his breath warm on my lips.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he insisted, his voice low and velvety. His hands left my face, prompting me to open my eyes. I brought my clenched fists up under my chin and considered my next words. Before I could speak, he pulled me close, hugging me, and led me toward his room. “Come on, let’s talk. I’ll go first, but you have to promise me you’ll be honest, too. I’m probably just as nervous as you are.”
I sat there on his bed, petrified. My breathing was shallow. I needed to find relief or I’d pass out.
Jake continued. “Okay. So…I’ve been thinking about you all day, ever since I saw you with… Matt. I thought about you all morning, too.” He paused, getting up to pace back and forth in front of me. “I was stoked to know that we’d be hanging out, you know, getting to know each other again. I thought you felt the same way, especially after last night. Then I saw you and Matt hangin’ on each other and I found myself getting… jealous, which isn’t normal for me. I’m not that guy and it made me…uncomfortable.”
I was tripping out on how open and honest he was being. Were all boys like this?
“Jake…” I reached out and touched his hand. He held it in return. He remained standing, playing with my fingers, and continued to speak.
“No, wait, let me finish,” he said firmly, taking a seat beside me. “I wanted to know if you were still with him, if you were alone with him. I wanted to know what you were doing. That’s why I sent the text. When you told me you were going to the movies with him…I felt stupid or whatever. Like, did I misread you? I thought we were on the same page.”
I interrupted, “Jake, there’s no confusion…”
He squeezed my hand. “Look, I know better than anyone that someone can be attracted to another person even when they’re attached to someone else. That’s why people break up most of the time; because they meet someone else they like better. Kinda like what happened with Rachel the other day. If I didn’t like being with you, I would have walked you home and hung out with her.”
His confession made my heart swell with excitement. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. No one in the history of my life would ever compare to him. He finally looked over at me, resuming his thoughts on the matter.
“So, you know, when you admitted you’ve liked Matt for a long time, it just brought to mind that maybe, while you felt attracted to me…our time these last couple of nights might just be fleeting, because of your stronger connection to Matt.”
I couldn’t comprehend his words quick enough to reply. His speech was a complete masterpiece.
In my stunned state, I barely eeked out my next words. “You know all too well, huh?”
Jake looked at me oddly. “What? This is for you more than me, Aly. You’re the one that’s having this thing with Matt.”
“I just feel bad, you know. Don’t you, about Rachel?”
“No. I don’t. Rachel has her own issues. She’s a big girl. She’ll get over it, eventually.”
I gulped. “Okay. What else? What else makes you know all too well?”
Jake sniffed, and a reluctant grin peeked at the sides of his mouth.
“Sometimes people stay in something, even when they know it’s not gonna end well, and…and some people don’t ever get into anything because they’re waiting on someone else, with the hopes that that someone will eventually come around.”
“Wow. That’s deep.” I chuckled, uncomfortably.
“Yeah, sorry, didn’t mean to go all Dr. Phil or whoever.” He paused, sucking in a deep breath. “So, then I threw my phone down after you said you may go to the movies with him. I was bummed.”
Jake looked sheepish and shrugged his shoulders.
“I guess there’s your answer,” I said leaning into him. I was embarrassed to look at his face any longer than a few seconds.
“I trip out on how fast this has all come on, you know, but realizing I’ve known you my whole life, I guess it’s not so strange,” he confessed.
Before I could respond, Kate shouted out that our pizzas were done. We both stood up, a bit uneasy. He put his arm around my shoulder, nuzzling me warmly as he led me out.
We ate quietly, and I chose my next words as I admired his long lashes. “The difference between you and I is,” I said, decisive. “You’ve already been where I’m at now. You understand what you’re feeling.” I knew he’d probably been there and done that, and every other thing in between.
Jake considered my statement and finished chewing. “Yeah, but…I can talk to you. I’ve never had that with anyone before. No matter how much I liked someone…” He trailed off. “I’m always boxed in. I don’t know…sometimes, I feel like there’s this image thing I have to uphold.”
Jake’s voice grew quiet and he stared at the pizza crust in his hand.
“What image?”
“You know, like nothing bothers me. I don’t know…it’s stupid. Put it this way, sometimes, I don’t always do what I want to do because of what people might think. I shouldn’t give a shit, but it just happens. Like this voice inside telling me—that’s not cool, everyone will think you’re a pussy if you do or don’t do this or that—so, I don’t always do the right thing.”
“I see.”
I certainly did see…every perfect contour of his face that stared back at me. I repeated his words in my head and wondered what it must be like for him. I felt like I could tell him anything.
My phone pinged with a new text message.
Jake glanced in its direction. “I wonder who that’ll be,” he said sarcastically, bobbing his head. “I’ll bet it’ll be Matt.”
“Shut up. It’s probably my mom.” I picked up my phone, and lo and behold, it was Matt. My stomach sank. I didn’t want to admit it was him, but I couldn’t lie to Jake, not ever. Not even about the smallest thing. “Ding, ding, ding, you were right. He wants to know if I’m feeling better, and if we’re still going to the movies.”
“What, you weren’t feeling well?” Jake swooned, mocking me.
“No, I wasn’t. I was sick. This whole thing with us has completely thrown my whole universe into a black hole. The last 24 hours? I feel totally rattled.” I paused when I saw the confusion on his face. “Okay. I mean, how do I tell my friends? Oh, I don’t like Matt anymore, I’m into Jake now; and by the way, Nadine, I’m sorry, I know you wanted him to like you, but he likes me now.—Really, how do I do this?”
“Wow, I didn’t realize all that,” he said. “So, Nadine’s the reason you came over?”
“Yes, and don’t look at me like that,” I huffed, gathering my thoughts. My next words came out slowly. “You know, I’m totally blameless in all of this. I didn’t know I would react the way I did, and feel the way I’m feeling. It’s like I’ve been living in black and white and you’re the color, the vibrant bright outline to everything grey.”
I was embarrassed about my honesty, but I couldn’t help myself. I stared down at my pizza crust, feeling my face get hot again.
“So, where do we go from here?” Jake said, smiling softly at me and taking another slice of pizza. “I mean I have to ask, right?”
“Like you said last night, not to read into anything? Besides, my family would die if they knew I was hanging out with you like this.
You’re the only one who knows.”
“What were you gonna do about going to the movies with Matt if they won’t let you date?”
My stomach tumbled.
“What do you think? I was gonna tell my parents we were going as a group.”
“Of course, you were,” he said dryly, rolling his eyes, not surprised.
I sighed deeply. “What am I gonna do about Nadine?”
“Why don’t you just tell Nadine how it is? She’ll get over it,” he said, a bit annoyed.
His solution sounded simple enough, but there was no way I was going to tell her.
“Jake, it’s a girl thing—and she’s my best friend, and even though she likes to flirt with everyone, she rarely quote unquote makes dibs—meaning she told me straight out that she likes you,” I explained, pausing. “It just has to run its course, I guess.”
“What are you gonna do about Matt?” Jake asked again, more firmly this time. A surge shot through me.
“I’m thinking about it, and in all honesty, I really care about Matt. We’ve been friends since kindergarten. He’s always been there for me.” Jake shook his head in understanding. “I don’t wanna hurt his feelings.”
“Ahhh, I guess I’ll just have to get over it.”
Jake reached over, grabbing my empty plate, and placed it under his. I noticed a tiny little tattoo on the side of his left ring finger, an R. My stomach sank. Was that for Rachel? Was he lying to me about everything?
I cleared my throat.
“You know, when I saw Rachel hanging all over you, I didn’t like it, either.” I admitted, agitated. “What’s that on your finger?”
I pointed at his finger, but only stared at his face. I watched for any indication that he was calculating a lie, something I’d learned from dealing with my sister. I recalled how easily he’d lied to Rachel about me not being at his house, when I was. He looked down, staring at it, and then rubbed it. He shrugged and half-laughed.
“A stupid drunk night, that’s what this is. It’s the initial of my first real girlfriend, Renee. That night was actually the first night I ever drank, see, and look what happens.”
I could only hope he was telling the truth, for truth’s sake. Not that it mattered whose name it stood for. I didn’t want him to lie to me to save me from bad feelings like he’d done with Rachel.
I stared at him blankly.
He tilted his head, reading me.
“Aly, I’m not lying. I’ll call her and hand you the phone if you don’t believe me.”
Now I felt stupid.
“No. Geez. I was just wondering. I mean it is an R, after all.” I said fiddling with the placemat. “What do you think Rachel will do when she realizes we’re actually hanging out?”
“It’s gonna be hard getting rid of her. Her best friend is Dump’s girlfriend, Sienna Barnes, the girl with the black hair. They’re inseparable, her and Rachel that is.”
After more small talk about how Jake and I felt about each other, I finally sent Matt a text apologizing, telling him I still didn’t feel well. I felt bad about lying, kind of.
Jake and I continued talking for hours.
5
Alyssa
Getting my wits about me was nearly impossible.
“By the way, you have to really teach me how to play the guitar. That’s the only way I’ll be able to come over here so often without anyone wondering. Just my luck, my bitchy ass sister will ask me to show off my new skills,” I told him.
We were sitting in Jake’s living room. He picked up a guitar and handed it to me. Too close and feeling the warmth of him, I didn’t know how I would focus on learning anything. He began playing a familiar tune that I couldn’t place. I marveled at how easily his fingers navigated and plucked away at the guitar strings. He strummed the melody as I searched my memory, trying to place the song.
After the first few hand contacts and body brushes, I finally calmed enough to pay attention. I didn’t have to admit I was nervous—Jake could tell; he reminded me more than once to breathe. “Aly, don’t hold your breath, breathe slowly.” His voice remained smooth and even, soothing my nerves until they were completely gone.
He told me about what my first lesson would entail without ever looking down at his playing. He made it look too easy. He explained in a gentle voice that we would focus on basic chords and add in very simple strumming.
“There you go, see, it’s not bad.” He released his hold on the guitar. “I think you’re gonna be picking this up pretty quickly. You’re a natural.”
“Ya’ think?” I chirped with excitement. “I was so nervous my fingers wouldn’t get it.”
A knock came at the front door, and my mood plummeted. It seemed we were always being disturbed. I hoped it was a sales person or one of those Jehovah’s dudes. I heard the familiar voice and my heart stopped. I took in a deep breath and stood up, pacing a bit. Then I sat back down, waving my hands in front of face as if they would help cool me off. Soon enough, the voice grew louder, and there she was. Nadine. WTF!
“Hey, it’s Nadine,” Jake announced. I imagined myself bopping him upside the head. Didn’t he get it? Didn’t he hear what I said about Nadine liking him? We were supposed to keep our hanging out under wraps. What an idiot. What the hell was she doing here anyway? I wondered, silently fuming. My stomach acids were raging. I composed myself, making like I was out of it, since I was supposed to be sick. I hoped Jake didn’t forget about that, too.
“Hey, what’s up?” I said weakly.
“I just went to your house. Your mom said you were over here having a guitar lesson, so I thought I’d come over and check it out,” she said, looking around curiously.
“Yeah, well, since I’d blocked this time with him I didn’t wanna cancel, since it was only for an hour.”
Jake chimed in, eliminating the negativity. Nadine’s eyes lit up when he began to speak to her. I wanted to slap her upside the head with the guitar. I reminded myself that she didn’t know how I felt about him. She should be the one slapping me around. That guilty feeling crept in again. Ugh, I hated myself. What was I going to do?
“So, Nadine, do you know how to play any instruments?” he asked.
“I used to take piano lessons, ages ago,” she answered, smiling. “I know how to read music, and I think it would be easy for me to learn.”
“Yeah, well, that’ll make it much easier for you since you have an ear for the notes.” Jake nodded his head. He looked over at me and winked. I was afraid to look at Nadine, in case she caught that. “So, you interested in lessons?”
I almost passed out when I heard the words hurl out of his mouth. I immediately excused myself and went into the bathroom without looking at him. I didn’t shut the door all the way because I wanted to eavesdrop. I could hear him back-pedaling. He was stammering. Good, I thought, that’ll teach him. I laughed silently, triumphant.
Nadine was prying:
“So, how long has Aly been here? I mean, how long ago did her lesson start? Are you almost done?”
“We actually just started. My mom was here, and hadn’t seen Aly in a long time.”
It was killing me! He was sharing too much information! I could only imagine what she looked like, with her tits hangin’, spilling out of her tank top. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn’t her fault. She was just being herself. I was the one that was the backstabber. I berated myself for the mean thoughts going through my head like a roadrunner on crack.
“Why don’t you come back in an hour. We should be done,” Jake suggested.
I couldn’t believe my ears! What the hell was he thinking? I leaned against the door in disbelief and strained to hear more.
“I can call Mike over and I’m sure he would be glad to make a schedule for lessons; besides, he owes me. I would offer, but Aly is enough for me right now. I shouldn’t even be spending the time with her.”
“Oh, sure, yeah, I understand. If Mike could do that, it would be awesome.”
&n
bsp; I could hear the disappointment in Nadine’s voice.
“I’m sure it’ll be no prob. I just have too much to prepare for with the upcoming tour and all.”
“Oh, okay, I’m sorry.”
She sounded sincere. Now, I really felt bad.
“Hey, don’t be sorry. Come back in an hour and I’ll have more info. Okay? Let me go check on Aly.”
Oh shit! I gently shut the bathroom door and locked it. I ran the water and wet my face. My heart raced. Even though I anticipated his knock at the door, my heart still lurched into my throat.
“Aly, you okay?” he asked gently.
“Yeah,” I said opening the door, peeved. I wanted him to know I was upset. I dried my face with a hand towel, my words muffled. “Did she leave?”
He shook his head no and I gave him a tight, evil eye. He grabbed my arm, tossing me into the hallway. He practically shoved me along the way. I put on a pathetic, sick face as we rounded the corner back into the living room. I walked slowly, moving my hair from my face, which I matted wet against my forehead.
I sat on the sofa, giving a frail smile. “Hey, sorry I didn’t call. I’m feeling a lot better than I did yesterday, but still not quite right.” I knew she didn’t care. She was probably pissed as shit at me that I crept in on her territory.
“It’s okay, I hope you feel better,” she said sympathetically. “Jake’s gonna have Mike come over to teach me to play the guitar, too.”
She glittered with excitement. By all appearances, she didn’t seem to be mad at me. I was cautiously relieved. I’d certainly know the truth when she had me alone.
We sat there quiet for a moment and Jake pulled a metallic blue and black pack of gum out of his pocket, offering up a piece as he popped one into his mouth. He prompted Nadine to leave by standing up and touching her shoulder. Nadine bounced out of her seat and practically danced out of the room.
“Alright, I’ll see you in a little bit! Aly, I hope you’re still here when I come back.” She disappeared out the door. I reminded myself to tread lightly with my assumption that she’d be okay with this arrangement and considered my options while I chewed my gum.
Jake sat and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. I melted into him as he leaned back, sinking into the cushions. My head bounced around on his chest when he began to chuckle.
“Why are you laughing?” I asked, miffed.
“I’m laughing at you. You have to trust that I know how to play the game, Aly.”
“Oh, do you?” I said sarcastically. “Please share with me what you know about game playing, with girls.”
He smiled thoughtfully, and his eyes roamed my face. My insides bubbled. I tried to pull away, but he held me in place.
“Relax Aly, the Nadine thing will work out. I have a plan.”
I closed my eyes relaxing, slightly. I suddenly felt his lips brush lightly against my temple and a bit of breath escaped me. As much as I wanted him to really kiss me, I was scared. My mind reeled—what if I kissed like shit? What if I drooled all over him? What if I couldn’t control myself?
“Jake?” Our faces nearly touched. He leaned down and softly kissed the side of my mouth. My breathing instantly became shallow and erratic. The energy was pulsing between us. “Jake, I don’t think…” As I began to speak, he gently kissed me full on the lips, and it took my breath away.
His warm, minty breath washed over my face. His lips brushed against my cheek and pressed softly onto mine again. My heart thumped a million miles per hour and I pulled back. Sensing my hesitation, he released me. My chin dropped to my chest, my eyes averted. I was embarrassed. He lifted my chin to bring us face to face and placed his forehead against mine.
His voice was low and silky. “I’m sorry, I should have asked,” he whispered, pulling me close once more. I buried my face into his neck.
“Jake, I’m the one who’s sorry, I’m not…” I had trouble spitting it out. I didn’t want to sound like a baby.
“Why are you sorry? Don’t be sorry, that’s ridiculous.” He rubbed my back tenderly and moved, making room between us.
I sighed deeply, and my words came out in a burst. “Maybe I am too young for you. I’m not what you’re used to. I know about guys like you…”
He put his finger to my mouth stopping the avalanche of dialogue. “Wait, what? Guys like me?” he repeated, sounding offended. “Guys like me, what?”
“I know you’re used to being with girls, and you know I wanna be there, too, but…” I giggled nervously. “Wait, that came out wrong.”
He laughed, throwing his head back.
“So, you wanna be what?” He teased and his eyes glimmered.
“You know what I’m trying to say, Jake, don’t make this harder for me than it already is.” I begged, shoving at his knee.
“Please continue. I wanna know more about guys like me.” He grinned and enjoyed watching me squirm.
“You know what, never mind. I’m not gonna continue humiliating myself.” I pouted.
He hugged me, sniggering. “Alright, I’m sorry. I get it, but check this out. You don’t know guys like me, Aly.”
Wait, what was that supposed to mean? Is he agreeing with me?
“What?”
“This thing with you isn’t the same as it would be with someone I just met at a party, or someone at school, or some fan girl.” He released my shoulders and placed his elbows on his knees. His head hung low and his lush hair waved over his forehead. After a long moment he continued, looking at me. “I’m in no rush with this. I don’t wanna be anywhere else, other than being on tour. I totally dig hangin’ with you. It’s comfortable.”
“I still feel lame. I’m sorry I keep bringing it up.”
“Don’t be. I’m perfectly fine kissing you like we’re still in 6th grade.” His smirk grew more pronounced.
I could have been insulted or embarrassed, but I wasn’t. I was relieved. The thought of French kissing him made me nervous beyond belief. Even though I’d dreamt about doing it more times than I could count. Actually doing it with him was another story.
6
Alyssa
I continued with the lies, kind of, texting my mom explaining I was with Nadine, which would be true soon enough. I tried to keep things on the up and up—for the most part. Jake finished his call with Mike and was all smiles.
“What? You wanted a solution, now we have one.”
God, he was beautiful. I was enthralled. Words couldn’t describe how much I was taken by his entire…everything. I gave him a sideways grin and he reached over and took my hand. His skin was so much warmer than mine. He played with my fingers, tracing my nail beds, giving me the chills.
“You have nice hands, and nails, real nails—not those fake, lame ones,” he remarked, pausing. His eyes roamed my face. “So, you don’t wanna continue your lesson?”
I groaned. “No, I don’t. I don’t feel like it now. When is Nadine coming back? Is Mike coming over now, too?”
“Yeah, in about forty-five minutes.”
I was resigned. The plan was set in motion, and I couldn’t change it.
“So, what’s this thing you’d promised to do to get Mike to commit?”
“We’re gonna play at a house party.”
I had heard about these house party drunk-fests. “Keggers,” my father called them. They were off limits to my brother and sister—supposedly. I knew they still went when they stayed over at their friends. I would overhear my sister crafting her plan. Nicole and I would sit with our ears pressed up against the wall, listening to the gossip of high school life. Finally, we were going to be a part of it.
“Where’s the party at?” I inquired. Like it really mattered, but I was curious, anyway.
“You’re not gonna wanna hear this, but it’s at Rachel’s place. I’d already been going back and forth about playing there. Now I’m locked in.” He motioned, resigned, brushing crumbs around the tabletop. “It’s basically a summer kick-off party. She’s alway
s had them, since, like, seventh grade.”
I pictured The Envies at the party, standing out in all their perfectness…how was I going to measure up? I felt an inch tall and totally insecure. I focused on the fact that I was holding Jake’s hand and that he was gently rubbing the inside of my palm with his fingertips.
“Do you think Rachel would let us come to the party? Or are we too young? Like is this only a senior thing?” I tried to sound nonchalant.
“I’d say come. I’ll just tell her you guys are coming. Fuck it.” He shrugged. My mood buoyed. “She knows who you are to me, so whatever.”
“Really, and what’s that?” I asked, surprised at my boldness.
He stalled. I knew what he meant, but I wanted to hear him say it, because it was apparent she still thought herself as his girlfriend.
“She knows we’re close, that we grew up together,” he stated, leaning over and kissing me warmly on the cheek. A million thoughts rushed through my head. I pictured myself grabbing him by the neck and pulling him back to me, when he backed away. All the while, his bright blue eyes burned a hole in my head. I was speechless.
He went to the TV, tapping at some buttons. Wii Sports popped up brightly on the screen. A smile spread across his face as he held up two remotes.
“Since you’re not into continuing with your guitar lesson, we can battle it out on Wii until our fronts arrive.”
“Fronts?” I asked, cocking my head.
His lips curled up. “This is why you pull at my strings.” He wagged the remote at me. Clearing his throat, he continued. “Fronts, meaning us using Nadine and Mike to our benefit, to throw people off our trail; like in those old gangster movies, when they would have a store front and then in the back there was a secret gambling hall.”
“Ah, right.” I nodded, understanding. I feared this was all a dream and I would wake up. I wondered if everything would smoothly fall into place.