“My name is Jody.” She extends her hand, and I shake it quickly.
“Jody—this is Frannie!” Johanna shouts so loud I can feel the vibrations running down my back. “Frannie is deaf!” She giggles to herself. “Frannie is a deaf head. But she can read your lips.” She turns to me fully. “Isn’t that right?” Johanna covers her mouth. I can see her facial muscles moving, her eyes laughing right at me so I know she’s still speaking.
The familiar scent of leather comes from behind, and I cringe because I’d know that leather jacket anywhere. Blake is here.
He steps towards Johanna forcefully with his head gesticulating as he has a few choice words with her I’m sure.
I glance to Marley and mouth, “What’s going on?”
She sends a lightning quick text.
He told her to take her rude, drunk ass and get the hell out.
A dark laugh escapes me. I warm from head to toe as he turns toward me.
“Hi, beautiful.” He squints out a sad smile as he lands a quiet kiss on my cheek.
The organizer asks Johanna to leave the premises, and she unhappily picks up her “drunk ass,” her designer trust fund treasure of a purse, and struts out the door. The back of her skirt is tucked into her tights and she’s inadvertently showing off a pair of granny panties to everyone.
Marley snaps a quick picture and sends it as a mass text captioned, Her rude ass.
Classic.
Blake and I share a laugh.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” The pain in his eyes says it all.
That’s just life. There are nice people, and then there are the Johannas of the world. I win because I have you. ;)
He shakes his head. “I win because I have you.” Blake both says the words and slowly signs it out as well. My heart melts. Just when I didn’t think I could love him any more he fills me further than possible.
Blake takes over her position, and I win twice because I get to stand next to the most handsome guy in the room for the next hour straight.
An older gentleman in a scruffy coat and fedora comes by, and I scoop him a double heap of sweet potatoes at his request.
He gets to Blake, and they both freeze, staring at one another like lost sheep.
I tap Blake on the shoulder. His serving spoon is midair, his mouth is open, but he’s not moving. He’s gone white as a sheet. Finally he dishes the man a heap of stuffing and folds his arms across his chest with a look of frustration.
“Annie, I’d like for you to meet Boyd Daniels, my father.”
My jaw goes slack. Now I’m the deer in the headlights.
He starts to say something, and Blake holds up a hand to stop him.
“Dad, this is my girlfriend, Annie. She’s beautiful, and sweet, and unfortunately she can’t hear the drivel you’re mumbling.”
“Is that so?” He looks up at me, and I recognize those speckled amber-green eyes. Nice to meet you, he signs. My first wife lost her hearing. I made the effort and learned to speak her language. He gives a dismissive wave. “Ah, I’m rusty.”
No, you’re good. Thank you for that. It’s very nice to meet you.
“Did he just do that?” Blake inches back. “Learn something new about you every day, Pops. Like the fact you’re homeless.” He gives an exasperated sigh. “Hell, you’re a mess. I think you qualify.” He plops an extra scoop on his father’s plate. “You hanging out? We’re almost done.”
“I’ll be over there.” He points to the back of the room before continuing down the line.
I tilt into Blake. I’m completely endeared by his father and saddened at the same time. We service the backup quickly before he nods to me.
“My dad and I don’t always get along. He seems to like you. You brought out the best in him.”
We wrap up the end of the line, and Marley comes over and hangs off me for a second while sticking her tongue out.
“I’m beat!” She laughs. That’s the thing about Marley I love best, she’s the kind of girl who smiles right through anything. Just like the pain her boyfriend is causing her. It’s becoming evident he’s never coming to see her. She mentioned that she asked to have a conversation with him in person, but I doubt that will happen. I think she’s ready for some answers. Although I don’t know how she’ll get them. He’s pretty elusive. Big Foot might be easier to have a conversation with.
Blake wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me in with that deadly grin on his face that drenches my panties. I still can’t believe this gorgeous man is all mine to do what I please with whenever I wish. And, even more, I love that the same is true in reverse.
“You mind if we sit down with my dad for a few minutes? I’ll take you back to the dorm if you like.”
I shoot Marley a text letting her know not to wait up.
“Goodnight, you two!” She winks at me before taking off. But there’s a thin strain of envy on her face, and, this time, it breaks my heart. I’d give anything for Marley to find her perfect someone. Of course, he’d better know his way around a pair of velvet handcuffs or two.
We head over and sit with Blake’s father. Gone is the fedora as he shows off a full head of gray hair. I scour his face for signs of Blake and find them in his strong jawline, his full brows that are pulled over his eyes like a bridge. He looks hardened by life, weathered and beaten down by society in general. It makes me sad to see someone so close to Blake having a tough time.
Blake and his father engage in small talk, mostly about the food, the fact snow is predicted in the night. His father finishes his meal and pushes the tray back before staring over at me, scrutinizing me, a little angry for no reason. There’s something off about him but in a harmless way that makes me question his sanity. Most of the people here are down on their luck, but a handful have other issues that revolve around mental health.
“So what are you doing with this fool?” He moves his teeth from side to side, and a hot pinch ignites in my stomach because I’m starting to categorize him as clinically insane. For one, Blake isn’t a fool. And, two, watching Boyd Daniels’ teeth shift from side to side like that made my stomach turn slightly.
I love him. I sign. There. Let’s try some heartfelt feelings on for size.
I love you, too. Blake signs back, and I morph into a giant grinning puddle.
“Hooey for the both of you.” His father grumbles. I squint a little to discern his words. His scratchy looking beard has prodded toward his lips making it difficult to understand. “I guess if you’re going to bring a kid in this world, you might as well be in love.” He gets up and pats my hand. “I’ll see you soon.” He points to Blake. “She’s a keeper.”
“That she is.” His eyes fall to the table a minute as his discomfort becomes palpable.
Boyd settles his hat over his head, and we watch as he leaves the facility.
Should we offer him a ride?
Blake shakes his head. “He wouldn’t take it. Besides, I’m sure he’s fine.”
I thought he said something about bringing a child into this world. He doesn’t think I’m having a baby, does he? I must look huge in these jeans!
Blake closes his eyes and turns his head away a moment.
He pulls out his phone. You look perfect in those jeans. I’m sure he meant in the future. In fact a baby with you in the future is something I would very much look forward to. An incredible sorrow pulls down his features.
Wow, you really plan ahead! I tease. The truth is just the thought of having a future with Blake—a baby with Blake—sets my body on fire with excitement. The idea of having a family with this beautiful man makes me feel complete. The future sounds like an amazing place.
“It will be.” Blake covers my mouth with his, and we share a wild, lashing kiss as if we were starved for what we craved most—each other. He pulls back and jots something into his phone. There’s something I always want you to remember. Blake takes my hand and places it on his heart while looking into my eyes with earnest intent. “I lov
e you, Annie.” He closes his eyes. “I really do love you.”
I memorize the way his chest vibrates down through my arm when he says those beautiful words. It feels like magic. It feels like forever.
“You want to head to my place for a while?”
Only if I can spend the night.
He smiles into his phone. Your wish is my command. His eyes gloss over with that familiar lustful look as he glances down toward my hips. I believe I owe you something. He cuts those amber prisms right into mine before tapping into his phone again. And tonight’s the night I’m determined to give it to you.
Blake
Snow falls from the sky, soft like powdered sugar, as Annie and I make our way to the carriage house. Somehow my father has managed to get himself ingrained in my mind with that shaggy coat pulled over him, the fedora he’s been known to wear since I was a kid. Benji and I used to take turns putting it on while doing our best impersonations of our drunk of a father. You’re fucking stupid! You won’t amount to bear shit! That was our favorite line of his, but why bear shit we’d wonder? Benji reasoned it was because he thought we might be eaten by a bear one day. But Benji wasn’t eaten by a bear. He was eaten by concrete on the corner of Summerland and Pelt. My mood plummets as we get closer to the carriage house, and now I’m pissed at both my brother and father—but mostly Pops for being there tonight. That’s not the way I was hoping he’d meet Annie. I’m not sure what I was hoping for, but it sure as hell wasn’t that. Thank God he didn’t mention Olivia, but, then again, he was so high when she was around, I doubt he remembers anything about that tragedy in my life. He did mention the baby. I could hardly face Annie after that. I’m the one who needs to tell her everything. Me. The last person she needs to hear the ugly truth from is Pops and his rusty signing skills. Talk about life throwing you a curveball made of barbed wire. This one landed square in my nuts. It took me twenty minutes to catch my breath after he said his peace.
I glance over to Annie as the streetlight bathes her in a river of gold. I meant what I said. I want a future with Annie, and, one day, an entire tribe of children if we can swing it. It probably doesn’t help that I’ll be adding to our brood in just a few weeks—my brood. I shake my head into the long stretch of highway just before turning in towards Wyatt’s ranch. Everything in me screams tell her tonight. My heart breaks knowing that I’m about to shatter the illusion of who I am so soon after promising her forever. I’m not sure she’ll want anything to do with me after this. Forever is a goal for people who come in clean from the beginning. It’s not that I meant to keep things from her, but time kept slipping, and the moment just never felt right. The fact I’ve waited so long says a hell of a lot and none of it good. I’ve let fear grip me by the balls, and now I’m going to pay the price. Story of my life. Truth is, I can trace all this heartache right back to Ben’s death, but I think that’s the pussy’s way out. It’s time to own up and start talking.
We pull in front of the carriage house, and I kill the engine just staring at the tiny cottage like it was a waiting tomb. Annie leans in with a smile and licks a line up the side of my face.
I like where she’s headed, but, first, I believe I owe her something—the truth.
My teeth grind. My gut wrenches at the thought of knocking us right off the pedestal I’ve put us on. I rub my thumb over her cheek and drink down the affection in her eyes. Maybe it can wait until morning. My body is aching to make love to Annie about as bad as she’s letting me know she wants it. God knows I owe her whatever it is she wishes.
I push Olivia and the baby as far out of my mind as I can and carry Annie into the house as if it were our honeymoon. That’s exactly how I’m going to love her tonight—wild, unrestrained, unbridled as if this were our first night tied in holy matrimony, like it was our last night together. I think we might be caught somewhere in between.
Annie offers up a sweet moan straight into my mouth. My tongue goes off in her mouth wild with lust and a fury I have aimed at myself because these beautiful exchanges might be numbered. I’ve never wanted to hold onto anyone in my life the way I want to hold onto Annie. She’s made for me, and, in every single way, I belong to her. This, right here, is love. Annie in my life forever would complete me. It would fill the hole in my heart that Ben left behind, and I might even be able to do the unthinkable, live a big enough life for both my brother and me. I’m going to love harder, live faster, embrace each day with a renewed vigor because Ben isn’t able to. I owe him that much and more.
Annie tugs at my jacket, and it drops to the floor. Her fingers rake off my shirt before fiddling with my jeans. I lie her over the couch and pull back enough to catch her beautiful features glowing in the moonlight.
“I’ll make a fire.” I start to get up, and she pulls me back down.
“We will make our own fire,” she whispers. Annie’s eyes stay trained on mine as she clasps onto my shoulders. “Blake.” She says my name loud and purposeful. A breath gets caught in my chest. Her voice is soft and angelically sweet. Her tone is even and clear, and I’m shocked and thrilled to hear it. “I love you.”
“Annie.” A crushing swell of relief pours from me. There it is. My gift. I pull her into my arms, grinning from ear-to-ear. Tears come, and I don’t fight them. “I love you, too.” I smother her face with kisses before pulling back into a stream of moonlight. “Thank you. Your voice—that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. You’re perfect. I want to hear you all the time. Please—never hold back.”
She bites over her lip with a smile. Annie pulls me down into a kiss that’s fueled with emotion—with the start of our forever—with the magic she’s just dusted the room with by way of her voice. Annie is an angel in the way she looks, acts, and sounds. There isn’t a wicked or cruel bone in her body. It’s a miracle she even looked twice at me.
Olivia tries to claw her way to the forefront of my mind, but I’m on lockdown. Tonight is about Annie and me celebrating our love.
Our clothes disband as we tug and pull our way into oblivion. My hand rides low on her hip until I’m right there over the most tender part of her. Annie is soaking wet, happy to see me in the best way possible. My finger pushes inside her, my thumb working her folds just enough to start the party. I need to get her there tonight. It’s like my brain has thrown it out to my ego like some sick challenge, and in no way do I want to lose. All of the stars have lined up. This is our moment. I won’t let a single thing—a single person, least of all myself—ruin what we have. Every moment that we’ve ever shared is culminating in this one spectacular night, and to give Annie this gift would top it all off with a nice, neat bow.
I whisper a dozen I love yous right into her ear without giving it much thought. I can’t shut it off. I want to tell her I love her, that I need her, on a loop. The words demand to rip from my throat like a battle cry, like an apology. Her body writhes beneath me. Annie pulls away from my kisses as she gasps for air. She’s so close, and I want her to take it.
I get off the couch and drop to my knees, slinging her thighs over my shoulders and go for it. Annie is dripping wet, hot as a bonfire, and I bathe my face a moment before tracking my tongue up to right where it needs to be. Her fingernails dig into my shoulders. Her gasps grow with intensity, more audible by the moment. So close. I press in just enough, loving her with my entire being the only way I know how and don’t relent until she lets out one last audible cry. Annie shudders, locking her knees over my head, and I can’t help but smile right into her thigh. A heated gush comes from her. It’s my turn to take it, and I do—water for my thirsty soul.
Annie coils my hair in her fingers before forcibly pushing me off.
A dark laugh rattles from deep in my chest as I glide over her. I lean in to dot her lips with a kiss, but she turns away. I bury one in her temple instead before digging my face into her beautiful hair.
It’s quiet save for the sound of our heavy breathing, the drumming of our hearts. I want to ask her if she liked that,
if she’s ready for more—tell her that I love her, but I’m soaking in the moment, enjoying the hell out of this too much to pull us out of it.
Our bodies fuse together. Annie was right. This erotic heat is all we need to keep warm.
We don’t need any assurances to fill the moment.
Annie and I have moved beyond words.
Our love is palpable, tangible, in every sense of the word, real.
Annie is my present—and she’s most certainly my future.
Olivia pops into my dark mind like a demon.
Point taken.
* * *
The next day, I take Annie back to Whitney Briggs. We hit her dorm first so she can shower and change. We didn’t want to get out of bed this morning, just made love again like we had the entire day to do it. I made breakfast for her this time, and we curled up watching morning TV. It felt natural, necessary as breathing. I’d move the entire mountain that Hollow Brook is set on just to have Annie in my bed nightly.
English is her only class of the day, so she asked me to hang out on campus until she’s through. I promised her a trip to our special spot just above the Witch’s Cauldron. I think that’s the place I’ll break both her heart and mine trying to explain the crap out of Olivia. I’m not sure there’s enough time in the world to relay exactly how and why that relationship came to be. For sure no one can break Olivia down into sound bites.
I head off toward the student union and pick up a catalog for spring semester. It’s already time to register, but I’ve yet to figure out if it will even be feasible. I’m not sure if Olivia will keep the baby for a few days then drop it off on my doorstep the first chance she gets or if I’ll be exiting the hospital with him myself. I might need to sit out the rest of the school year and save up for fall. I’ve already contacted the daycare center on campus. As long as I’m fulltime, they’ll watch him for a discounted rate that can be rolled into my student loans. The only reason I’m at Whitney Briggs is the scholarship I scored my senior year in high school. Both Benji and I qualified for financial aid to cover the rest. We were pretty determined to get our degrees. Watching our father roll in and out of AA all our lives pretty much solidified the fact we wanted out of our crappy neighborhood and away from good old Pops for good. Not for good. As much as he was spectacularly lame as a father, we loved him. Hell, I still do. Now Benji isn’t here, and I’m not in school. So much for all our scholastic dreams coming true.