Chapter 60 - The Stage and the Screen
When Jinny got back he found the two actors, the director, and the writer still sitting on the stage, talking about what they’d just seen and how to make it into a movie. He dumped a pile of cloths on the floor and said, “Where’re the others?”
George said, “They’re in back, working on the budget.”
Wegs said, “What’s that?”
Jinny answered, “That’s the idiot’s clothes.”
Wegs looked at the pile and saw three pairs of briefs. “You stripped ‘em naked? Where?”
“In the park down the block. Gwen said don’t shoot ‘em, not, don’t embarrass and humiliate ‘em.” He took three cards out of his pocket and threw them on the coffee table. “Room cards from the same place you’re staying. Basic rooms are $800 a night. Our assassins have quite the expense account.”
Sody pointed at the pad of paper on the table and said to Shim, “Get a note down about that scene, stripping the idiots naked in a public park. We gotta get that in the next movie.”
George looked at Jinny and said, “Now what?”
“Now you do whatever Gwen says to do. I assume you go back to what you were doing with the directing and acting stuff.”
“Just like that? Guys come in saying they’re assassins, try to kidnap Laleh, and we go back to work?”
“I told you stuff happens around the Junes. Don’t worry, we got you covered. Now we know who these bozos are, we keep an eye out for them. You got three bodyguards, which considering my skills, are two too many. But I guess we gotta cover you 247, so I can use the help. How long is this filmy play gonna take?”
Soderberg said, “I have no idea. I’ve never done this before. We know what we’re going to do, the live stage vs the recorded on film thing, but I haven’t yet figured out how to do it. That’s what we were going to work on today before the interruption. Gwen said we have eight weeks, but that's impossible. I’d say we need three months to pull this off.”
Jinny said, “I can help you with that,” and went back to the office, where he asked Gwen, “How long do they actually have to do this thing? They’re a little nervous after the visit by the morons. Maybe if you gave them a deadline it would help focus them.”
Gwen said, “I told them eight weeks before. Did they say how long they thought it would take?”
“Three months. Said they know what to do but not how to do it.”
Gwen looked at Gale and asked, “When’s the wine festival in Burgundy?”
“I think it’s two months from now. I’ll check the website…yeah, this time, two months.”
Gwen said, “I guess we do the same thing we did for the ballet and the rock opera, performances Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for three weeks; total of nine. That seemed to work for everyone. So…tell them they have five weeks to get it together, then three weeks of performance, and then we’re out of here.” Jinny didn’t blink at the decision, just went back out on the stage and told them.
“Five weeks,” screamed Sody. “Is she crazy? She think this is a high school play? Our reps are on the line here.”
Wegs looked at George who looked at Shim who looked at Monique, filing her nails and waiting for Jinny to come sit next to her, tell her about the assassins in the park, standing around naked in the middle of the weekly Farmers Market. Monique got up, went to Sody, and led him down the stage steps, up the aisle, and up the stairs to the small balcony. The others watched her as she talked with him, motioning out towards the theater, telling him that is your canvas, you’re better that Rembrandt, you have all the tools to make something unique and great, you can do it in five weeks, then three weeks of performances, and then you can go back to Manhattan and play with your pasta dough and tomatoes. And don’t worry about the assassins. Did you see how Gwen pulled her gun on them? Sody said, yeah, that was cool, very nonchalant but very threatening at the same time. They didn’t even think of challenging her.
They came back down to the stage fifteen minutes later, Sody saying, “We can do this in five weeks, no problem. But we gotta figure out how the actors go from stage to screen. How you guys do that. Any ideas?”
Shim said, “How ‘bout we get the others out here? Do a team brainstorming thing?” Jinny went and got the other four from the office. Shim said to them, “Sody says we can do the production in five weeks,” (everyone looked at Monique with an invisible thanks), “but we gotta figure out the screen and stage trick.”
Gale said, “Cut holes in the screen so the actors can just go in and out. I can do that.” Gale had the biggest heart in the group, and the biggest mouth, and the best ass, but not the biggest mind.
Roger said, “Have the actors disappear down into the stage through mechanical trap doors; then fade the stage lighting into the images on the screen.”
Jinny said, “Naw, the opposite. Have the actors wear invisible wires, and when it comes time to switch, jerk ‘em up into the overhead gantries, zip and they’re gone; then their images fades onto the screen.”
Wegs said, “I’m willing to ride a yak around the hills in Nepal, but I don’t know about being jerked up into the ceiling twenty times a performance on a thin little wire. Might lose my lunch.”
Laleh, who a few minutes earlier had transferred twenty million dollars from her account in 'St.' something to Gwen’s account in Charleston, held up her hands in an offering gesture. “Maybe there’s something to Gale’s idea about having holes in the screen.”
Gale said, “There is?”
“Yeah, how about we have two screens, one behind the other, with the front screen having slits cut into it. When it’s time to switch from stage to screen, the film is projected onto the front screen, which is ok but not great with the slits. The audience can see the slits, but they are distracted with the first image that appears on the screen. The actors do go back through the slits, like Gale said, then we do some slick lighting effects that distract the audience a little, and the front screen is pulled up or to the side, maybe it’s two screens and one goes to each side, and then the lighting effect goes away and the film image is on a regular screen behind the first.” She looked around at the group. “When it’s time to switch again, we reverse the process. The actors on the screen are positioned to come out of it, the lighting thing happens to distract the audience, the front screen comes back into place, the actors come onto the stage from the wings and stand between the two screens, the lighting thing goes away, and they come through the slits. Then another lighting distraction, and both screens go away.”
Soderberg got up and did his walking around the circle looking at the floorboards thing again. Even Gale shut up, realizing this was a crucial point and was the director’s decision. After three rounds he looked at Laleh and said, “Good idea. Great idea. Let’s try it. We’ll need a lighting expert, but I can get someone down here quickly. I shoulda thought of it. That’s what I get for staying at home, playing with dough. Creative skills go to hell.”