24
Path of Vengeance
As Cairn continued on his walk another person emerged from an adjoining hall to address him. “Ah, Cairn. It is pleasant to see you again. I would not have thought to find you out here. It is fortunate. We should talk,” Gun-Surow said.
Cairn grimaced, “Your Majesty, one thing I’ve learned about the Atlunam is that chance events rarely happen by chance. I doubt our meeting is anything other than what you wanted.”
The Atlunam King sighed, “Cairn, if you only knew how true your statements really are.” Gun-Surow guided the northern swordsman over to an alcove where they sat on a bench. “How long has it been … four or five years?”
“Six, Your Majesty.”
Gun-Surow was surprised. “Six long years. You’re the only northerner that I’ve ever liked.”
“I think that with time, the Erandian will come to show his true metal also,” Cairn commented.
“Perhaps … I hope so. Those kingdoms sorely need the leadership of strong willed and capable men. Don’t you think so?” Gun-Surow paused for a moment before continuing. “When you came to us, you were near death. You ranted about the loss of your parents and your love.” Cairn’s head lowered. “It was evident that a great evil had been loosed. I allowed you to recover here … I allowed you to be trained in our ways because you vowed to rid the world of this evil. Do you remember?”
Cairn nodded slowly.
“Have you completed your quest?” Gun-Surow asked.
Cairn was slow to respond; he hesitated to describe the nightmares that haunted him on a continual basis. “I thought it was over. I killed every one of the men that I remembered seeing that day. Even their leader, Garnis. He was the one that grabbed Julia. I … I tried to stop him, but he left me with this,” Cairn pointed at the three scars that ran down his right cheek. “I still remember the smug smile on his face as Julia lay there dying beside me. She died staring at me.” Cairn took in a stuttering gasp of air before going on. “They took me into the woods to finish me.”
“But?” Gun-Surow prompted.
“But they didn’t kill me,” Cairn answered. “They tortured me instead, making fun of my weakness. And then they left me to burn the dead. My parents, Julia, everyone. I passed out for a while. The cuts on my face became infected, and I got a fever. I don’t remember much after that. I knew I could not bury her, though. I could not look upon her sad face again.”
“Is that all that you remember, Cairn?” Gun-Surow looked deeply into his eyes. “My wise men tell me there is more to your story. More that you know but refuse to accept. Is there nothing else that you remember?”
“No, nothing,” Cairn said.
“Then why do the dreams persist?” Gun-Surow asked.
Cairn looked up at the stars shaking his head in grief. “I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe it’s because all I’ve seen is grief. Maybe it’s because that is who I am now and that is all I want.
“I hear her voice in my head all the time. Julia is always with me. I’ve tried to let her go … I can’t. I’m so tired. Tired of this quest for vengeance.” The last word came out with so much bitterness that it surprised even Cairn.
“The quest is not over, Cairn,” Gun-Surow said. “If you are going to be true to it, look at me.” Cairn hesitated only a moment before lifting his head to look at Gun-Surow. “There is one more thing that must be set right. One more person.” Cairn shook his head in disagreement.
“No, no, there was no one else.” Cairn searched his memory. He had killed them all. He had killed many others that had either supported the murderers or gotten in his way. Cairn could see all of their faces. He had killed more than fifty men.
Gun-Surow shook his head in understanding. “Well, Cairn, I have shared with you what I could. The rest is for you to figure out.”
“If there is more that you know, then please tell me. I want to be at peace,” Cairn said.
Gun-Surow stood slowly, groaning as he grabbed a rail for support. “I am sorry. Peace is something I could never grant you. You are more special than you realize. The key to what you want is locked deep within you. Only by figuring out the puzzle yourself will you find what you seek and complete your quest.” Cairn stood hoping the king would say more, but their meeting was over. With a quick nod Gun-Surow left Cairn alone.
That night Cairn slept little. He lay awake staring at the darkest corners of his room.
“There is one more thing that must be set right, one more person to bring to justice,” Gun-Surow had reminded him.
As painful as it was to remember, Cairn forced the memory up from where he hid it from everyone including himself. He went over every detail of what had happened six years ago. Cairn remembered sitting at a separate table with his father and mother …
… he helps them set the food down.
Cairn looks up to find Julia in the gathering crowd, but it is difficult to find her; several families have already arrived and are mingling around the tables, talking. She senses his distress and stands to wave. Cairn sees her then. Even from across the town square Julia’s beauty captivates him. Her long black hair falls down in front of her, hiding part of her face. When Julia looks up at him with that certain smile, she cannot hide her love for him. Cairn has always loved that smile; she shows it to no one else. There is a hint of sadness in her smile this day. Does Julia know what is about to happen to her? Cairn thinks about the simple blue dress with white trim she is wearing to the feast. Both of their parents are poor, and their children have never received extravagant gifts. Cairn realizes the dress is a special gift, meant for him as much as for Julia.
It is a special day and not just because it is the Day of Salvation. Today, Julia’s father will announce that Cairn is betrothed to his daughter. Soon, they will wed and start a new life together, making their dreams come true.
The sound of charging horses breaks through his reflection on these pleasant thoughts. Cairn has just enough time to look down the road and see black riders bearing down on them, their swords and spears raised, ready to tear the villagers apart. Cairn’s only thought is to get to Julia.
“We have to get out of the square!” Cairn shouts. He jumps over tables and people to reach Julia, but the Belarnians reach her first. Cairn sees her parents cut down along with several others. Julia backs up against one of the tables, scrambling to get out of the way of the killers. All but one of the riders passes her by. A helmed warrior grabs her by the hair and pulls her closer to him. He puts Julia onto the saddle in front of him. The man is Garnis, a new guard for the Belarnian prince.
He turns his horse around, shouting something as Cairn finally gets close enough.
Cairn leaps from the table diving for the rider, knocking Garnis and Julia off the horse. All three of them fall hard to the ground.
Coughing, Cairn tries pushing himself off of the ground, stopping when he sees Julia. She is dazed and calling for him, but for some reason, Cairn cannot hear her. As he climbs to his knees, several men surround them. Their weapons are leveled at him. Someone pushes him back down trying to keep him and Julia in the center of their ring. The Belarnians laugh cruelly.
Just then, Garnis steps into the circle. He pulls off his helmet and throws it to the ground in anger. Blood trickles out of the corner of his mouth. Garnis draws a long dagger and passes it to a subordinate before moving toward Cairn. Guards keep him locked in place with their weapons as Garnis approaches. At that point Julia tries to intervene.
Garnis knocks Cairn to the ground with a vicious backhand. The spiked, leather glove he wears rips through the side of Cairn’s face, breaking his jaw.
Why, Julia? Why, did you step in? Cairn asked himself. They would have killed you anyway, but I never wanted to see your death.
The first sound that Cairn hears after his fall is Julia’s sharp intake of air as the dagger slips deep into her breast.
Garnis had been surprised and annoyed by her interference, but it was
the other guard, holding Garnis’ dagger, that had killed Julia.
Garnis pulls his blade out of her and pushes her to the ground; Julia is staring at Cairn.
“Remember me,” Julia pleads in a faint voice before she takes in a final, shuddering breath and then dies.
“No!” Cairn shouts. Over and over again he shouts it. He does not even look at Garnis. He knows his own death will follow quickly. Cairn just stares helplessly at Julia, praying again and again that it is just a dream. His last vision, before blacking out, is of tears trickling from Julia’s deep blue eyes. Then her eyes fade, and Cairn closes his own eyes waiting for his death to come.
When Cairn awakes, he is in the woods and tied to a tree. Cairn cannot tell how badly he is hurt, fresh blood runs down his face dripping from his cheek onto his chest and then onto the floor of the leaf covered ground. Cairn blacks out many times as the Belarnians beat him.
Cairn forced himself to stop the images for a moment and bring himself back to reality. He tried to remember if anyone else had been involved in the attack on his village. No, Cairn had sworn that if he survived he would not stop until each one of the men that had killed Julia and their parents were dead. So, as they hit him, Cairn looked closely at each face. He had seen each one of those faces years later. Each one of them was now dead.
Gun-Surow was wrong. He had left none alive. Cairn simply continued to have the nightmares because he refused to let go of the past.
“I’ll always dream of you,” Cairn remembered promising Julia. The voice in his head was his own way of tormenting himself for not having saved her.
Cairn pushed the philosophical debate out of his head and thought a moment longer about his torture. He was close to death; he knew it and welcomed it. Garnis had even approached him with his sword raised high, ready to deliver the killing blow. Garnis then stopped, lowering his sword and sheathing it.
Why? Cairn thought hard about it. Why?
He had never thought much about it, blacking out as many times as he did—he simply did not remember everything. Cairn knew he could never fathom why men like Garnis would murder innocent people. He did not try to comprehend their motives for doing what they did. Cairn simply believed they had decided to let him rot tied to the tree or that it would be more amusing if they left him alive forcing him to bury those that he loved.
How did I ever get out of the ropes that bound my hands behind me and to the tree, Cairn wondered. He thought hard on the question. Cairn had blacked out again during the final moment, knowing that Garnis was going to cut him in half, but Cairn did not die. When Cairn finally regained consciousness, he was on the ground and at least one day had passed.
Suddenly, Cairn remembered something he had refused to accept before.
Garnis did not kill him because someone had shouted, “Stop …”
Someone stops Garnis just as he prepares to bring his sword down on Cairn’s head. Who is it? Cairn cannot see his face. His eyes are swollen shut from the beatings. He feels someone push dirt into his wounded face and hears them laughing—then Cairn blacks out again.
When he awakes, an entire day has passed. The swelling in one eye has gone down enough for him to see a little. There is heavy smoke in the air, as well as the smell of death. Thirst consumes him. His wounds make him delirious. Cairn’s cheek feels like it is on fire. Through the fog of pain, Cairn thinks the creek must be nearby. If he can get to the water, get a drink, and possibly wash some of the dirt out of his wounds, then maybe he can make it a little further and find help.
Though the water is not far, Cairn will never accomplish anything more difficult. More difficult than any lesson the Atlunam masters will later teach him. Harder even than defeating any of his enemies. The crawl to the water is the struggle for life and commitment, the commitment to avenge Julia. Cairn gains a new desire to live after regaining consciousness. A part of him still wants to die and join Julia, but another part, full of anger and hatred, wants to live to see his enemies dead. Using his hands, Cairn pulls himself across the ground on his belly. When he finally reaches the creek, he finds the body of a neighbor floating face down in the water.
Cairn’s body feels too much pain to grieve. He pulls himself further up stream to where the water is hopefully cleaner. He drinks as much as he can, and then he begins to scrub the cuts on his face. Cairn digs into the scabbing wounds with his hands to get the dirt out. He lets out one scream before remembering Julia lying next to him; he shuts his mouth in determination and continues cleaning his face. No sound escaping his lips, again.
There was someone else, Cairn now remembered. Who had hid in the shadows? In a way, it excited him to remember. He had found it hard to accept that his quest for revenge had ended. Now there was another enemy, an elusive enemy that had more authority than Garnis. It would consume his every thought until he found out the identity of that person. Cairn rolled over onto his side and tried to get some sleep knowing, however, there would be none until his quest was truly over.
“Good night, my love,” Julia whispered to him.