Page 24 of Ruin


  “It was my fist that hit him hard enough to make his head snap back, rupturing an artery, causing a blood clot on his brain. I’m the reason he stopped breathing and lost oxygen to the brain for more minutes than acceptable. Multiple surgeries, a stroke, a fucking wheelchair. Cam…I did that to him. He’s my responsibility.”

  I close my eyes at the bluntness of what he’s saying.

  “I understand…” I say, opening my eyes. “But I think you’re being too hard on yourself.”

  “I’m not being hard enough. I have everything here. I have you back. I have Gigi, my kid brothers and sister, and even my dad. Scott has nothing and no one, except for me and the doctors treating him and the nurses caring for him. His whole life changed. His future, everything he could’ve been, was taken from him with one single punch.”

  “And, now, to help him, you’re going to fight someone else, risk the same thing happening again.” I wrap my arms around myself at the thought, trying to ward off the chill it brings.

  “Dimitrov isn’t a guy you need to worry about. What happened to Scott won’t happen to him. The guy’s head is made out of stone.”

  “It’s not him I’m worried about getting hurt!” I exclaim. “It’s you!”

  Zeus frowns, taking my words like an insult. Like I think he’s weak. I don’t think he’s weak. But I think Dimitrov is unpredictable. I’ve read and heard the stories about him.

  “He won’t get near me,” Zeus grinds the words out.

  “He’s an animal, who has no concept of the rules. He should be in a cage. Not a boxing ring.”

  Zeus takes my face in his hands. “He won’t get near me,” he enunciates. “I’ve never lost a fight. In all these years, no one has gotten close to hurting me.”

  I point to the scar on his brow. “The guy who did that got close, real close, to hurting you.”

  “A bar fight with a glass bottle is a helluva lot different than two gloved guys in a boxing ring.”

  I heave out a sigh, knowing that his mind is set, and nothing I say or do will make him see things differently.

  “Dove”—he cups my chin with his hand—“promise me that you won’t worry about this.”

  I move my eyes to his. “I can’t promise that.”

  “Cam…”

  I pull from his hold. “Don’t ask me not to worry about you, okay? I love you. It comes with the territory. I get why you need to do this, why you feel that you need to do the fight with that crazy bastard Dimitrov, but it doesn’t mean that I have to like it. I just…I need some time to get my head around it, so”—I take a small step back—“I’m going to go back to work. My lunch break is almost over anyway.”

  I lean forward and give him a quick, perfunctory kiss on the cheek. Then, I cross the room and pick my bag up from the floor, hanging it on my shoulder.

  “Dove…”

  I stop by the door and glance back at him.

  “Are we going to be okay?” he asks in a quiet voice.

  I give him a small smile. “We’re gonna be fine,” I tell him.

  Because it’s true. It’s not us that I’m worried about. It’s him stepping into that ring with Dimitrov that has me running scared.

  Four Weeks Later

  “Mommy.” The sound of Gigi’s whispering voice rouses me from a deep sleep.

  “You okay, Gigi girl?” I mumble.

  “Uh-huh. But why’s Daddy sweeping in your bed?”

  My eyes flash open to see Zeus lying facedown, fast asleep beside me, his strong arm slung over my stomach, pinning me there. The duvet is fortunately covering what I know is his bare ass.

  Oh, fuck.

  Fucking fuck.

  He stayed last night after Gigi went to bed. We haven’t had much alone time since he started training for his fight.

  Do I feel better about his upcoming fight? No. But I’m dealing. Kind of.

  When Zeus trains, it’s intense. He’s hardly here at the moment, and when he is, he rightly spends time with Gigi. Meaning sex has been sparse—okay, nonexistent this last month. But he was all frisky last night, and who was I to say no? Especially not when he threw me down on the bed and went down on me, giving me the orgasm to top all orgasms. Then, we ended up fucking like animals for the next hour, and we must’ve passed out from exhaustion because he’s still here. And Gigi’s seen us together in bed, and—

  Crap…am I naked, too?

  My hand glides up from its place on the bed, and I’m relieved to feel my nightshirt, which I now remember putting on before Zeus talked me into cuddling for a few minutes before he was supposed to leave to go home to the house, which he is now living in, as his lease was up on his apartment.

  “He’s, um…well, Daddy was tired, and I said he could sleep here, so…”

  “Why’s Daddy gots no clothes on?”

  Fucking, fucking fuck.

  “Um…because…because…”

  “Because I get hot in bed, Gigi girl.” He reaches over and grabs her, pulling her onto the bed between us, making her giggle and squeal. “And I’m not naked. I’m wearing shorts. See?” He lifts the cover, showing her his running shorts, which he was wearing last night.

  But I’m now wondering when he put those on because I distinctly remember him being naked when we were lying here, cuddling, before we fell asleep.

  And, now, I’m wondering if he fell asleep here on purpose, so Gigi would find him here and know that we were together. He’s not asked me directly to tell Gigi that we’re together, but he has recently been making definite noises in that direction.

  I stare at him, brow lifted, but he doesn’t look at me, so I poke him in the arm with my finger.

  He glances at me, and I give him a questioning look.

  “What?” he says.

  “When did you put those on?” I nod in the general vicinity of his shorts.

  “Don’t know. Must’ve done it in my sleep.”

  “Uh-huh.” I nod. “Sure you did.”

  He gives me a look of innocence, which I one hundred percent do not believe.

  “So, will Daddy sweep here all the time now?”

  “No,” I’m quick to answer.

  Zeus gives me a less than impressed look. “But if I were to”—he moves his eyes back to Gigi—“how would you feel about that?”

  “Good ’cause then you’d be here all the times.”

  My heart clenches hard, like she just put her little hand around it and squeezed it tight.

  “So, if I said to you that me and Daddy were together now, would that be okay with you?” I ask her.

  “Together?” Her eyes and cute button nose screw up with confusion.

  “Like Rapunzel and Flynn Ryder,” I explain. “A couple.”

  “Ohs, like boyfriends and girlfriends?” She beams.

  “Yeah, like boyfriend and girlfriend.”

  “I finks that’d be awesome.” She pauses, looking between me and Zeus, her nose screwing up again. “But you’s not gonna be kissing all the time, are you?”

  Zeus barks out a laugh, and I go beet red.

  “No! Of course not. Where on earth did you get that from?” I ask her.

  “TV.” She shrugs.

  “What do you mean, TV?” I ask her.

  “Movies, Mommy.” She gives me a look that says this should be perfectly obvious. “The mens and womens are always kissing in the movies.”

  She starts to make kissing sounds, and Zeus laughs again, harder this time.

  “And no more movies for you.” I reach over and tickle her side, making her squirm and giggle.

  Looks like I’m going to have to monitor even more closely exactly what it is she’s watching on the television.

  “Daddy?”

  “Yes, Gigi?”

  “Does this mean that you and Mommy are gonna gets mwarried?”

  “No!” I say at the exact same time that Zeus says, “Yeah, one day.”

  My eyes snap to Zeus, who’s staring back at me, a furrow puckering his brow.
>
  I move my eyes from him to Gigi. “We won’t be getting married anytime soon,” I say to Gigi.

  “Okay.” She sighs. Another pause and then, “But, when you do’s gets mwarried, I be a bridesmaids, right?”

  A smile creeps onto my face. I glance over at Zeus to see he’s grinning, too.

  I press a kiss to her soft hair and say, “If Mommy and Daddy ever get married, you’ll be the only bridesmaid, Gigi girl.”

  “Pwomise?”

  “I promise.”

  She goes quiet again. I’ve just closed my eyes, and I’m dozing, loving just being here with my little family, when her little voice breaks the quiet.

  “Mommy?”

  “Yes, Gigi girl?”

  “Can we all gets up and watch TV together now?”

  “What do you want to watch?” Zeus asks her on a yawn.

  “Tangled, of cwourse.”

  Sigh.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, I want you on your feet. It’s been too long since we last saw him in the ring…so be upstanding to welcome your very own homegrown champion…Zeus…‘The God’…Kincaid!”

  The crowd goes wild. Zeus’s boxing anthem, “Lose Yourself,” starts to thrum through the stadium.

  My eyes pull up to one of the big screens. It shows Zeus coming through the stadium, making his way to the ring. His robe on, hood up, face composed, focused.

  My heart starts to pound with worry. It’s hard not to feel the adrenaline buzzing through the stadium, feel the rush of people’s excitement. But I’m scared. Because the guy about to climb into that ring with a complete psycho is the man I love. The father of my child.

  Thankfully, Gigi won’t see this. She’s at home with Aunt Elle. She should be in bed by now. She knows that Zeus has a boxing match tonight, but thankfully, she doesn’t really understand what that means.

  I’m here with Ares, Lo, and Missy, and we’re seated in the front row.

  Close enough that I’ll be able to hear every punch thrown.

  I wince at the thought.

  The tickets would have been expensive if we’d paid for them. But, when your boyfriend is the headline fighter, you get them for free.

  Tonight is the big-money fight because, if Zeus wins, it means he will hold all five heavyweight division titles. They call it unifying the division.

  Hence, the hefty price tag on the tickets.

  When we were younger, this was something Zeus always used to say he wanted to achieve.

  I recently asked him if this was one of the reasons he wanted to do the fight as well as the money. But he said no.

  I don’t know if he feels that he should say that because of the guilt he harbors over Kaden.

  Tons of celebrities are here to watch the fight. I can’t even be excited that Jake Wethers and Tom Carter from The Mighty Storm are sitting three seats away from me because I’m so nervous.

  Maybe, when Zeus wins, I’ll have my freak-out over them.

  But all I can think about right now is Zeus, praying he comes out of this okay.

  I watched all of Zeus’s fights in the years we were together. I always felt nervous back then, but I can honestly say nothing compares to how I’m feeling right now.

  I feel sick.

  I press my hand to my stomach.

  I’m afraid that he’s going to get hurt. Seriously hurt.

  I knew of Dimitrov from the news stories. But I made it my business to watch some of his fights. I didn’t tell Zeus because he didn’t want me to worry.

  I’m worried.

  The guy is an animal.

  Think Mike Tyson on crack.

  That’s Roman Dimitrov.

  I don’t think he’d give a shit if he killed someone.

  And Zeus is getting in the ring with that lunatic.

  Zeus is big, and he’s strong. He’s in peak physical shape. He always is. And the last six weeks of intense training has brought him up to where he needs to be.

  But Dimitrov is in great shape, too.

  Although Zeus has the edge in weight and height, there’s not much difference between them.

  I turn to look at Zeus when I know he’s near ringside.

  His eyes find me right away. His expression might be hardened, but his eyes…right now, they’re all for me.

  He reaches the ring and jogs up the steps.

  Before he enters the ropes, he looks back at me. My heart simultaneously soars and plummets because this is it. The moment I’ve been dreading for the last six weeks.

  I love you, I mouth to him.

  His lips lift into that smile of his, and my insides putter to a stop. Then, he climbs in the ring, and my insides sag to the ground.

  “It’s gonna be okay,” Missy says, sliding her hand into mine. My eyes move to hers. “This is Zeus. He’s unbeatable.”

  There’s always a first time for everything, my fear says.

  But I don’t say those words.

  Instead, I force a smile and say, “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “I’m always right.” She grins. “My big brother is a hard-ass. And I, for one, cannot wait to see him put Dimitrov on his own ass.”

  “Hell yeah!” Ares says, reaching around me and high-fiving her.

  “Five rounds most, and Zeus will put him down,” Lo says.

  The most recognizable voice in the boxing world starts speaking from within the ring, drawing my eyes there, “And here is the moment we’ve all been waiting for! Our fighters are in the ring, and they are ready to go all twelve rounds! In the blue corner, coming all the way from Bulgaria…standing at six feet four inches and weighing in at two hundred forty-five pounds, the current WBA and IBO heavyweight champion…Roman…‘The Jawbreaker’…Dimitrov.”

  The cheers are outweighed by the boos. Ares, Lo, and Missy are shouting negativity in Dimitrov’s direction.

  I’m silent. Eyes pinned on Zeus.

  He looks calm. Ready to fight. But calm.

  “In the red corner, standing at six feet five inches and weighing in at two hundred fifty pounds, he is the IBF, WBC, and WBO world heavyweight champion…your homegrown fighter…Zeus…‘The God’…Kincaid!”

  The crowd roars with applause and cheers, and I actually find my voice and cheer for my man as he lifts his arms to the crowd, moving around the ring. I cheer louder.

  When the crowd hushes, the announcer says, “To the twenty thousand in attendance and the millions watching at home, ladies and gentlemen, from Madison Square Garden in New York City…let’s…geeet…rrrreeeaaady…toooo…ruuummmble!”

  I watch as they step up close with the referee between them, firing out his rules. Then, they’re back to their corners.

  I watch as Zeus’s trainer, Mike, talks to him. Zeus nods his head. His shield is put in his mouth, and then he’s on his feet.

  The bell rings.

  It’s time.

  There’s no hesitation. Zeus is in the center of the ring straightaway, intimidating and dominating. And the punches start flying.

  Zeus is all over Dimitrov.

  He moves so quickly, ducking every punch Dimitrov throws, leaving him punching air.

  I can see the frustration building in Dimitrov’s face.

  And, from what I saw of his previous fights, if things aren’t going Dimitrov’s way, like a bad loser, he starts fighting dirty.

  Bell rings, signaling the end of round one, and they each go back to their corner.

  But I can’t relax. I’m on the edge of my seat. I just need Zeus to knock Dimitrov out, so this can be over, and I can take him home and hold him for the rest of the night. And the rest of forever.

  The bell signals round two.

  Dimitrov comes out fighting and lands a punch on Zeus.

  I suck in a sharp breath, shutting my eyes on the impact. But not for long because I need to know that Zeus is okay.

  He is. The blow didn’t even break his stride. If anything, it’s fired him up.

  Bang. Bang. Bang.

  He has Dimitrov on t
he ropes.

  The referee separates them. Then, it’s back on.

  It goes this way for three rounds.

  And I’ve found my voice, shouting encouragement to Zeus along with Ares, Lo, and Missy. My throat will be hoarse by the end of the night, but I don’t care.

  I want Zeus to know I’m in his corner.

  Round six.

  There’s a shift in the dynamics. It’s almost like Dimitrov took a hit of coke because he comes from that corner like a bull out of a cage. He’s on Zeus, punch after punch, and Zeus is blocking only half of them.

  Zeus’s back hits the ropes, and the referee pulls them apart.

  “Come on, baby!” I scream. “Knock the bastard on his psychotic ass!”

  I hear the rumble of Ares’s laughter from beside me. I glance at him, and he’s grinning at me.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” He smirks. “Just having flashbacks to Zeus’s early fights. You always did have a potty mouth.”

  “Just showing my support.” I grin innocently.

  “I’m glad he has you back,” he says in a quieter voice.

  My grin softens to a smile. “Me, too.” I press my hand to his arm and give it a gentle squeeze.

  The negative sound of the crowd whirls my eyes back to Zeus. I see it like it happens in slow motion—Dimitrov’s fist retracting back from Zeus’s face. Zeus staggers back a step and then drops to his hands and knees.

  “Noooo!” I cry, my heart free-falling, as I rush forward to the railings separating the crowd from the ring, wanting to vault over them and go to him.

  Missy is there beside me. Her arm around me. Then, Ares and Lo are there. They’re yelling, but I can’t hear what they’re saying. Blood is roaring in my ears.

  Dimitrov is walking around the ring, arms in the air, like he’s won.

  The referee is down on his knees, beside Zeus, his mouth at his ear, talking to Zeus.

  Get up, baby, please.

  A second later, Zeus pushes back up onto his knees. The referee stands. And then Zeus jumps up to his feet.

  And I breathe again.

  The referee moves to the center of the ring. Zeus and Dimitrov are about to go in again, but the bell rings.

  Zeus turns back to his corner, and there’s blood running down his cheek.