Chapter 23
In Which Passepartout's Nose Becomes Outrageously Long
The next morning poor, jaded, famished Passepartout said tohimself that he must get something to eat at all hazards, and thesooner he did so the better. He might, indeed, sell his watch;but he would have starved first. Now or never he must use thestrong, if not melodious voice which nature had bestowed uponhim. He knew several French and English songs, and resolved totry them upon the Japanese, who must be lovers of music, sincethey were forever pounding on their cymbals, tam-tams andtambourines. They could not but appreciate European talent.
It was, perhaps, rather early in the morning to get up a concert,and the audience prematurely aroused from their slumbers, mightnot possibly pay their entertainer with coin bearing the Mikado'sfeatures. Passepartout therefore decided to wait several hours.As he was sauntering along, it occurred to him that he would seemrather too well dressed for a wandering artist. The idea struckhim to change his garments for clothes more in harmony with hisproject. In this manner he might also get a little money tosatisfy the immediate cravings of hunger. The resolution taken,it remained to carry it out.
It was only after a long search that Passepartout discovered anative dealer in old clothes, to whom he applied for an exchange.The man liked the European costume, and before long Passepartoutleft his shop dressed in an old Japanese coat, and a sort ofone-sided turban, faded from long use. A few small pieces ofsilver, moreover, jingled in his pocket.
"Good!" thought he. "I will imagine I am at the Carnival!"
His first care, after being thus "Japanesed," was to enter ateahouse of modest appearance, and, upon half a bird and a littlerice, to breakfast like a man for whom dinner was as yet aproblem to be solved.
"Now," he thought, after he had eaten heartily, "I mustn't losemy head. I can't sell this costume again for one still moreJapanese. I must consider how to leave this country of the Sun,of which I shall not retain the most delightful of memories, asquickly as possible."
It occurred to him to visit the steamers which were about toleave for America. He would offer himself as a cook or servant,in payment of his passage and meals. Once at San Francisco, hewould find some means of going on. The difficulty was, how totravel the four thousand seven hundred miles of the Pacific whichlay between Japan and the New World.
Passepartout was not the man to let an idea go begging, anddirected his steps towards the docks. But, as he approached them,his project, which at first had seemed so simple, began to growmore and more formidable to his mind. What need would they haveof a cook or servant on an American steamer, and what confidencewould they put in him, dressed as he was? What references couldhe give?
As he was reflecting in this wise, his eyes fell upon an immenseplacard which a sort of clown was carrying through the streets.This placard, which was in English, read as follows:
ACROBATIC JAPANESE TROUPE, HONORABLE WILLIAM BATULCAR, PROPRIETOR, LAST REPRESENTATIONS, PRIOR TO THEIR DEPARTURE TO THE UNITED STATES, OF THE LONG NOSES! LONG NOSES! UNDER THE DIRECT PATRONAGE OF THE GOD TINGOU! GREAT ATTRACTION!
"The United States!" said Passepartout. "That's just what Iwant!"
He followed the clown, and soon found himself once more in theJapanese quarter. A quarter of an hour later he stopped before alarge cabin, adorned with several clusters of streamers, theexterior walls of which were designed to represent, in violentcolors and without perspective, a company of jugglers.
This was the Honorable William Batulcar's establishment. Thatgentleman was a sort of Barnum, the director of a troupe ofmountebanks, jugglers, clowns, acrobats, equilibrists andgymnasts, who, according to the placard, was giving his lastperformances before leaving the Empire of the Sun for the Statesof the Union.
Passepartout entered and asked for Mr. Batulcar, who straightwayappeared in person.
"What do you want?" said he to Passepartout, whom he at firsttook for a native.
"Would you like a servant, sir?" asked Passepartout.
"A servant!" cried Mr. Batulcar, caressing the thick grey beardwhich hung from his chin. "I already have two who are obedientand faithful, have never left me, and serve me for theirnourishment--and here they are," added he, holding out his tworobust arms, furrowed with veins as large as the strings of abass viol.
"So I can be of no use to you?"
"None."
"The devil! I should so like to cross the Pacific with you!"
"Ah!" said the Honorable Mr. Batulcar. "You are no more aJapanese than I am a monkey! Why are you dressed up in that way?"
"A man dresses as he can."
"That's true. You are a Frenchman, aren't you?"
"Yes. A Parisian of Paris."
"Then you ought to know how to make grimaces?"
"Why," replied Passepartout, a little vexed that his nationalityshould cause this question, "we Frenchmen know how to makegrimaces, it is true--but not any better than the Americans do."
"True. Well, if I can't take you as a servant, I can as a clown.You see, my friend, in France they exhibit foreign clowns, and inforeign parts French clowns."
"Ah!"
"You are pretty strong, eh?"
"Especially after a good meal."
"And you can sing?"
"Yes," returned Passepartout, who had formerly sung in streetconcerts.
"But can you sing standing on your head, with a top spinning onyour left foot, and a sabre balanced on your right?"
"Humph! I think so," replied Passepartout, recalling theexercises of his younger days.
"Well, that's enough," said the Honorable William Batulcar.
The engagement was concluded there and then.
Passepartout had at last found something to do. He was engaged toact in the celebrated Japanese troupe. It was not a verydignified position, but within a week he would be on his way toSan Francisco.
The performance, so noisily announced by the Honorable Mr.Batulcar, was to commence at three o'clock, and soon thedeafening instruments of a Japanese orchestra resounded at thedoor. Passepartout, though he had not been able to study orrehearse a part, was designated to lend the aid of his sturdyshoulders in the great exhibition of the "human pyramid,"executed by the Long Noses of the god Tingou. This "greatattraction" was to close the performance.
Before three o'clock the large shed was crowded with spectators,Europeans and natives, Chinese and Japanese, men, women andchildren, who precipitated themselves upon the narrow benches andinto the boxes opposite the stage. The musicians took up aposition inside, and were vigorously performing on their gongs,tam-tams, flutes, bones, tambourines and immense drums.
The performance was much like all acrobatic displays. But it mustbe confessed that the Japanese are the first equilibrists in theworld.
One, with a fan and some bits of paper, performed the gracefultrick of the butterflies and the flowers. Another traced in theair, with the odorous smoke of his pipe, a series of blue words,which composed a compliment to the audience. A third juggled withsome lighted candles, which he extinguished successively as theypassed his lips, and relit again without interrupting for aninstant his juggling. Another reproduced the most singularcombinations with a spinning-top. In his hands the revolving topsseemed to be animated with a life of their own in theirinterminable whirling. They ran over pipe-stems, the edges ofsabres, wires and even hairs stretched across the stage. Theyturned around on the edges of large glasses, crossed bambooladders, dispersed into all the corners, and produced strangemusical effects by the combination of their various pitches oftone. The jugglers tossed them in the air, threw them likeshuttlecocks with wooden battledores, and yet they kept onspinning; they put them into their pockets, and took them outstill whirling as before.
It is useless to describe the astonishing performances of theacrobats and gymnasts. The turning on ladders, poles, balls,barrels, etc., was executed with wonderful precision.
But the principal attraction was the exhibition of the LongNoses, a show to w
hich Europe is as yet a stranger.
The Long Noses form a peculiar company, under the directpatronage of the god Tingou. Attired after the fashion of theMiddle Ages, they bore upon their shoulders a splendid pair ofwings. But what especially distinguished them was the long noseswhich were fastened to their faces, and the uses which they madeof them. These noses were made of bamboo, and were five, six andeven ten feet long, some straight, others curved, some ribbonedand some having imitation warts upon them. It was upon theseappendages, fixed tightly on their real noses, that theyperformed their gymnastic exercises. A dozen of these sectariesof Tingou lay flat upon their backs, while others, dressed torepresent lightning-rods, came and frolicked on their noses,jumping from one to another, and performing the most skillfulleapings and somersaults.
As a last scene, a "human pyramid" had been announced, in whichfifty Long Noses were to represent the Car of Juggernaut. But,instead of forming a pyramid by mounting each other's shoulders,the artists were to group themselves on top of the noses. Ithappened that the performer who had hitherto formed the base ofthe Car had left the troupe, and as, to fill this part, onlystrength and adroitness were necessary, Passepartout had beenchosen to take his place.
The poor fellow really felt sad when--melancholy reminiscence ofhis youth!--he donned his costume, adorned with vari-coloredwings, and fastened to his natural feature a false nose six feetlong. But he cheered up when he thought that this nose waswinning him something to eat.
He went upon the stage, and took his place beside the rest whowere to compose the base of the Car of Juggernaut. They allstretched themselves on the floor, their noses pointing to theceiling. A second group of artists stood on these longappendages, then a third above these, then a fourth, until ahuman monument reaching to the very cornices of the theatre soonarose on top of the noses. This elicited loud applause, in themidst of which the orchestra was just striking up a deafeningair, when the pyramid tottered, the balance was lost, one of thelower noses vanished from the pyramid, and the human monument wasshattered like a castle built of cards!
It was Passepartout's fault. Abandoning his position, clearingthe footlights without the aid of his wings, and clambering up tothe right-hand gallery, he fell at the feet of one of thespectators, crying, "Ah, my master! My master!"
"You here?"
"Myself."
"Very well; then let us go to the steamer, young man!"
Mr. Fogg, Aouda and Passepartout passed through the lobby of thetheatre to the outside, where they encountered the Honorable Mr.Batulcar, furious with rage. He demanded damages for the"breakage" of the pyramid; and Phileas Fogg appeased him bygiving him a handful of banknotes.
At half-past six, the very hour of departure, Mr. Fogg and Aouda,followed by Passepartout, who in his hurry had retained his wingsand nose six feet long, stepped upon the American steamer.