He went on staring at her, and she dropped her eyes.
‘Do you wish me to stay?’
‘Yes,’ he said, and she turned to the light switch.
‘Leave the light,’ he ordered. ‘I want to see your whiteness.’
The first time she cried out, it was in fear and pain, the second time – and the uncounted times after that – was in mindless, incoherent transports of ecstasy.
Douglas Ballantyne had selected a dozen of the finest slaughter-beasts from the herds of King’s Lynn and Queen’s Lynn. The prime carcasses had hung in the cold room for three weeks until they were perfect. They were being barbecued whole on the open coal pits at the bottom of the gardens. The kitchen servants of Queen’s Lynn worked in relays, turning the spits and basting the sizzling golden carcasses amidst clouds of fragrant steam.
There were three bands to provide continuous music. The caterers had been flown in with all their equipment from Johannesburg, and paid suitable danger-money for entering the war zone. The gardens of every homestead for fifty miles around had been ransacked for flowers and the marquees were filled with banks of floral decorations, of roses and poinsettia and dahlia in fifty blazing shades of colour.
Bawu Ballantyne had chartered a special aircraft to bring the liquor up from South Africa. There was a little over four tons’ weight of fine wines and spirits. After searching his political conscience, Bawu had even decided to suspend his personal sanctions against the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland for the duration of the wedding festivities, and had included one hundred cases of Chivas Regal whisky in the shipment. This was his most valuable contribution to the preparations, but there had been others.
He had transferred some of his most potent and cherished Claymore mines across from the King’s Lynn defences and added them to the decorations in the Queen’s Lynn gardens.
‘You can never be too careful,’ he explained darkly, when taxed with it. ‘If there is a terr attack during the ceremony—’ He made the motion of pressing a button, and the entire family shuddered at the thought of a mushroom-shaped cloud hanging over Queen’s Lynn. It had taken all their combined powers of persuasion to get him to remove his pets.
He had then sneaked into the kitchens and added an extra six bottles of brandy to the mix for the wedding cake. Fortunately Valerie had made a final tasting and when she got her breath back, ordered the chef to bury it and start a new batch. From then on Bawu was banned from the kitchens in disgrace, and Douglas had drawn up a roster of family members to keep him under surveillance during the great day.
Craig had the first shift from nine in the morning when the two thousand invited guests started arriving until eleven when Craig would hand over to a cousin and assume his other duties as Roland’s best man. Craig had helped the old man dress in his uniform from the Kaiser’s war. A local tailor had been brought out to King’s Lynn to make the alterations, and the results were surprising. Bawu looked dapper and spry with his Sam Browne belt and swagger-stick, and the double row of coloured ribbons on his chest.
Craig was proud of him as he took up his position on the front veranda, and looked over the crowded lawns, lifting his swagger-stick in acknowledgement of the affectionate cries of ‘Hello, Uncle Bawu’, brushing out his gleaming silver moustaches and tipping the peak of his cap at a more debonair angle over one eye.
‘Damn me, boy,’ he told Craig. ‘This whole business makes me feel quite romantic again. I haven’t been married myself for nearly twenty years. I have a good mind to give it one last whirl!’
‘There is always the widow Angus,’ Craig suggested, and his grandfather was outraged.
‘That old crow!’
‘Bawu, she is rich and only fifty.’
‘That’s old, boy. Catch ‘em young and train ‘em well. That’s my motto.’ Bawu winked at him. ‘Now how about that one?’
His choice was twenty-five years old, twice divorced already, wearing an unfashionable mini-skirt and casting a bold eye about her.
‘You can introduce me.’ Bawu gave his magnanimous permission.
‘I think the prime minister wants to see you, Bawu.’ Craig searched desperately for a distraction, before the pert little bottom under the mini-skirt was soundly pinched. Craig had seen the old man flirting before. He left Bawu, gin and tonic in hand, giving Ian Smith a few tips on international diplomacy.
‘You have to remember that these fellows, Callaghan and his friends, are working class, Ian, my boy, you cannot treat them like gentlemen. They wouldn’t understand that—’
And the prime minister, worn and tired and wan with his responsibilities, one eyelid drooping, his curly sandy hair receding, tried to hide his smile as he nodded.
‘Quite right, Uncle Bawu, I’ll remember that.’
Craig felt safe to leave him for ten minutes, sure that the old man’s opinions of the British Labour government were good for at least that long, and he made his way swiftly through the crowds to where Janine’s parents stood with a small group at the end of the veranda.
He insinuated himself unobtrusively into the circle, and studied Janine’s mother out of the corner of his eye. It gave him a hollow aching feeling to recognize the same features, the jawline and deep forehead blurred only marginally by the passage of time. She had the same slanted eyes with the same appealing cat-like cast to them. She caught his gaze and smiled at him.
‘Mrs Carpenter, I’m a good friend of Janine’s. My name is Craig Mellow.’
‘Oh yes, Jan wrote about you in her letters.’ Her smile was warm, and her voice had haunting echoes of her daughter’s. Craig found himself babbling away to her, and could not prevent it – until softly and compassionately she said:
‘She told me you were such a nice person. I am sorry, I truly am.’
‘I don’t understand?’ Craig stiffened.
‘You love her very much, don’t you?’
He stared at her miserably, unable to reply, and she touched his arm in understanding.
‘Excuse me,’ he blurted. ‘Roland will be ready to dress, I must go.’ He stumbled and almost fell on the veranda steps.
‘By God, Sonny, where have you been? I thought you were going to let me go into contact on my own,’ Roland shouted from the shower. ‘Have you got the ring?’
They waited side by side, under the bower of fresh flowers in front of the makeshift altar which also was smothered with flowers. Roland wore full-dress uniform: the maroon beret with Bazo’s head cap-badge, the colonel’s crowns on his shoulders, the silver cross for valour on his breast, white gloves on his hands and the gilt and tasselled sword at his waist.
In his simple police uniform, Craig felt gauche and drab, like a sparrow beside a golden eagle, like a tabby cat beside a leopard, and the waiting seemed to go on for ever. Through it all, Craig clung to a hopeless notion that it was still not going to happen – that was the only way he could hold his despair at bay.
Then there was the triumphant swell of the bridal march, and down both sides of the carpeted aisle from the house, the crowds stirred and hummed with excitement and anticipation. Craig felt his soul begin the final plunge into cold and darkness, he could not bring himself to look around. He stared straight ahead at the face of the priest. He had known him since childhood, but now he seemed a stranger, his face swam and wavered in Craig’s vision.
Then he smelled Janine; even over the scent of the altar flowers he recognized her perfume, and he almost choked on the memories it evoked. He felt the train of her dress brush against his ankle, and he moved back slightly and turned so that he could see her for the last time.
She was on her father’s arm. The veil covered her hair, and misted her face, but beneath its soft folds, he could see her eyes, those great slanted eyes, the dark indigo of a tropical sea, shining softly as she looked up at Roland Ballantyne.
‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this church, to join together this man and this woman in hol
y matrimony—’
Now Craig could not take his eyes from her face. She had never looked so lovely. She wore a crown of fresh violets, the exact colour of her eyes. He still hoped that it would not happen, that something would prevent it.
‘Therefore if any man can show any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak—’
He wanted to call out, to stop it. He wanted to shout, ‘I love her, she is mine,’ but his throat was so dry and painful that he could not draw breath enough through it. Then, it was happening.
‘I, Roland Morris, take thee, Janine Elizabeth, to have and to hold from this day forward—’ Roly’s voice was clear and strong and it raked Craig’s soul to its very depths. After that, nothing else mattered. Craig seemed to be standing a little away from it all, as though all the laughter and joy was on the other side of a glass partition, the voices were strangely muted, even the light seemed dulled as though a cloud had passed across the sun.
He watched from the back of the crowd, standing under the jacaranda trees, while Janine came out onto the veranda still carrying her bouquet of violets, dressed in her blue going-away ensemble. She and Roland were still hand in hand, but now he lifted her onto a table-top and there were feminine shrieks of excitement as Janine poised to toss her bouquet.
In that moment, she looked over their heads, and saw Craig. The smile stayed on her lovely wide mouth, but something moved in her eyes, a dark shadow, perhaps of pity, perhaps even regret, then she threw the bouquet, one of her bridesmaids caught it, and Roland swept her down and away. Hand in hand, the two of them ran down the lawns to where the helicopter waited with its rotor already turning. They ran laughing, Janine clutching her wide-brimmed straw hat, and Roland trying to shield her from the storm of confetti that swirled around them.
Craig did not wait for the machine to bear them away. He returned to where he had left the old Land-Rover at the back of the stables. He drove back to the yacht. He stripped off his uniform, threw it onto the bunk, and pulled on a pair of silk jogging shorts. He went into the galley and from the refrigerator hooked out a can of beer. Sipping the froth, he went back into the saloon. A loner all his life, he had believed himself immune to the tortures of loneliness, and now he knew he had been mistaken.
By this time there was a stack of over fifty exercise books upon the saloon table, each of them filled from cover to cover with his pencilled scrawl. He sat down and selected a pencil from the bunch stuck into an empty coffee mug like porcupine quills. He began to write, and slowly the corrosive agony of loneliness receded and became merely a slow dull ache.
On Monday morning, when Craig walked into police headquarters, on his way through to the armoury, the member-in-charge called him into his office.
‘Craig, I’ve got movement papers for you. You are being detached on special assignment.’
‘What is it?’
‘Hell, I don’t know. I just work here. Nobody tells me anything, but you are ordered to report to the area commander, Wankie, on twenty-eighth—’ The inspector broke off and studied Craig’s face. ‘Are you feeling okay, Craig?’
‘Yes, why do you ask?’
‘You are looking bloody awful.’ He considered for a few moments. ‘I tell you what, if you sneak away from here on the twenty-fifth, you could give yourself a couple of days’ break before reporting to your new assignment.’
‘You are the only star in my firmament, George.’ Craig grinned lopsidedly, and thought to himself, ‘That’s all I need, three days with nothing to do but feel sorry for myself.’
The Victoria Falls Hotel is one of those magnificent monuments to the great days of Empire. Its walls are as thick as those of a castle, but painted brilliant white. The floors are of marble, with sweeping staircases and colonnaded porticos, the ceilings are cathedral-high with fancy plaster-work and gently revolving fans. The terraces and lawns stretch down to the very brink of the abyss through which the Zambezi river boils in all its fury and grandeur.
Spanning the gorge is the delicate steel tracery of the arched bridge of which Cecil Rhodes ordered, ‘I want the spray from the falls to wet my train as it passes on its way to the north.’ The spray hangs in a perpetual snowy mantle over the chasm, twisting and folding upon itself as the breeze picks at it, and always there is the muted thunder of falling water like the sound of storm surf heard from afar. When David Livingstone, the missionary explorer, first stood on the edge of the gorge and looked down into the sombre sunless depths, he said, ‘Sights such as these must have been gazed upon by angels in their flight.’ The Livingstone suite, which looks out upon this view, was named after him.
One of the black porters who carried up their luggage told Janine proudly, ‘King Georgey slept here – and Missy Elizabeth, who is now the queen, with her sister Margaret when they were little girls.’
Roly laughed. ‘Hell, what was good enough for King Georgey!’ and he grossly overtipped the grinning porters and fired the cork from the bottle of champagne that waited for them in a silver ice-bucket.
They walked hand in hand along the enchanted path beside the Zambezi river, while the timid little spotted bushbuck scuttled away into the tropical undergrowth and the vervet monkeys scolded them from the tree-tops. They ran laughing hand in hand through the rain forests, under the torrential downpour of falling spray; Janine’s hair melted down her face, and their sodden clothing clung to their bodies. When they kissed, standing on the edge of the high cliff, the rock trembled under their feet and the turmoil of air displaced by the volume of tumbling water buffeted them and flung the icy spray into their faces.
They cruised on the placid upper reaches of the river in the sunset, and they chartered a light aircraft to fly over the serpentine coiling and uncoiling gorge in the noon, and Janine clung to Roland in delicious vertigo as they skimmed the rocky lip of the gorge. They danced to the African steel band, under the stars, and the other guests who recognized Roland’s uniform watched them with pride and affection. ‘One of Ballantyne’s Scouts,’ they told each other, ‘they are very special, the Scouts.’ And they sent wine to their table in the manorial dining-room to mark their appreciation.
Roland and Janine lay late in bed in the mornings and had their breakfast sent up to them. They played tennis and Roland lobbed his service and returned to her forehand. They lay in the sunlight beside the Olympic-sized pool and anointed each other with suncream. In their brief bathing-suits they were magnificently healthy clean young animals, and so obviously in love that they seemed charmed and set apart. In the evenings they sat under the umbrella spread of the great trees on the terrace and drank Pimms No. 1 cup, and experienced a marvellous sense of defiance in flaunting themselves to the full view of their mortal enemies on the far side of the gorge.
Then one day at dinner, the manager stopped at their table.
‘I understand that you are leaving us tomorrow, Colonel Ballantyne. We shall miss you both.’
‘Oh no!’ Janine shook her head laughingly. ‘We are staying until the twenty-sixth.’
‘Tomorrow is the twenty-sixth, Mrs Ballantyne.’
The head porter had all their luggage piled at the hotel entrance and Roland was settling their bill. Janine waited for him under the portico. Suddenly she started as she recognized the battered old open Land-Rover that swung in through the gates, and parked in one of the open slots at the end of the lot.
Her first reaction, as she watched the familiar gawky figure untangle his long legs and flick the hair out of his eyes as he climbed out, was quick anger.
‘He’s come on purpose,’ she thought. ‘Just to try and spoil it all.’
Craig came ambling towards her with his hands thrust into his pockets, but when he was less than a dozen paces from where she stood, he recognized her and his confusion was obviously unfeigned.
‘Jan,’ he blushed furiously. ‘Oh my God, I didn’t know you’d be here.’
She felt her anger recede. ‘Hello, Craig dear. No, it was a secre
t, until now.’
‘I’m so dreadfully sorry—’
‘Don’t be, we are leaving anyway.’
‘Sonny boy,’ Roland came out of the doorway behind Janine and went to throw a brotherly arm around Craig’s shoulders. ‘You are ahead of time. How are you?’
‘You knew I was coming?’ Craig looked even more confused.
‘I knew,’ Roland admitted, ‘but not so soon. You were supposed to report on the twenty-eighth.’
‘George gave me a couple of days.’ Since that first startled exchange, Craig had not looked at Janine again. ‘I thought I would spend them here.’
‘Good boy, you will need the rest. You and I are going to be doing a bit of work together. I tell you what, Sonny, let’s have a quick drink. I’ll explain it to you – some of it anyway.’
‘Oh, darling,’ Janine cut in swiftly, ‘we don’t have time. I’ll miss the flight.’ She could not bear the hurt and confusion in Craig’s eyes another moment.
‘Damn it, I suppose you are right.’ Roland checked his watch. ‘It will have to keep until I see you the day after tomorrow, Sonny,’ and at that moment the airways’ bus drove into the hotel driveway. Roland and Janine were the only passengers in the mini-bus out to the airport.
‘Darling, when will I see you again?’
‘Look, I can’t say for sure, Bugsy, that depends on so many things.’
‘Will you telephone me or write even?’
‘You know I can’t.’
‘I know, but I will be at the flat, just in case.’
‘I wish you would go out to live at Queen’s Lynn – that’s where you belong now.’
‘My job—’
‘The hell with your job. Ballantyne wives don’t work.’
‘Well, see here, Colonel, sir, this Ballantyne wife is going on working until—’
‘Until?’ he asked.
‘Until you give me something better to do.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like a baby.’
‘Is that a challenge?’
‘Oh please, Colonel, sir, do take it as one.’